What Oreo Slobber Really Is

“Oh for the love of cod!” Boe exclaimed, with far more than a “hint” of annoyance.“If you don’t get your ugly little black butt over here, I’ll make sure that instead of your delicious pies every morning, you’ll eat TERMITES TILL THE DAY YOU DIE!”

“Oh, if ya’ put it that way. I think I’ll join you two girls.” Say-So, the most talkative witch you have ever (and ever I say) heard, responded to Boe, with a full-on, 100% sarcastic voice.

“Ladys, ladys! Let’s calm down,” Raa, the wise one said. “We don’t want another incident, now do we?”

The incident. My, oh my. The incident. 399 days ago, the three witches wanted to meet up, 6:66 pm, at McDonalds. All three witches hated McDonalds (and I can’t blame them). Therefore, it was the perfect place to meet up. Perfect. 

Raa came ten minutes early so that she could get the group a nice spot near the dumpster outside. Perfect, perfect, perfect! Boe came at 6:66 sharp while Say-So came around twenty minutes later than late. 

“Hello Say-So, love.” Raa didn’t even care to hide her love for Say-So. “Hi Boe.”

“Gosh.” Boe responded 

Seven and the meeting finally begins. All three witches have gone to many meetings like this, but never at McDonalds. Boe pulled out her large caldron out of her small be-dazzled black purse ( How is not the question. So don’t ask the question). 

“Ader up!” Some weird lady in blue comes to the three witches. “Five cheese burgers, one grilled bacon and cheese sandwich, and three Oreo smoothies.” She said, with all three witches wincing when the blue dressed lady talked (but mostly spat) out the order. “Is dat all?”

“Thanks.” Say-So said.

By the time the lady rolled away on her skates, Boe said “Ok, she’s gone! How did she not notice the caldron?”

“She’s a bloody dummy. That’s it really. Anyone can notice a darn old caldron, but that lady, not if you shoved it up her nose.” Say-So snorted out. 

“Say-So, dear, respect the humans.” Raa soothed Say-So.

“Whatever.”

“Back on track! Ok, let’s get started.” Boe said.

First, Raa magically filled the caldron with some odd oozy gray liquid with a snap of a finger.

“Gross.” Say-So reacted. 

Then, after that, they all threw in a sandwich. 

“I think that’s good.” Raa said while stirring away at the mush of what was at one time a nasty meal. “Just a little bit more steering and then we will be able to one by one slowly pour in the Oreo slobber. 

“Might as well do it now!” Boe and Say-So said in complete unison. 

And before Raa could stop them, they emptied out the smoothies into the caldron.

“No-.” Raa began, but before she could finish, she began to burn. First her hands, then her arm, then her head disappeared, and then she was gone in a matter of seconds.

“What the-?” But both Say-So and Boe burned up… 

This story was being told in the opposite direction of heaven...

After the brief reminder from Raa, Say-So and Boe both got on the oversized termite to head to the meeting hall where all the witches of the underworld were meeting up to plan their next Gala. The Black Gala to be specific, one of the most popular gala’s of the entire universe. Well, that’s what it said in the email they sent every dead witch they could find. When I say they, I mean the Cuputul, which is pretty much a dead version of the living government. 

“OOOH! I can’t wait! I wonder if this year I’ll be able to get a chair!” Boe said, excitement crawling in on her voice. In the previous years, it was so crowded that only the very special guests and celebrities could actually sit on the red leather chairs. 

“Hurry up! Stupid termite.” Say-So grumbled. “What I’d do for a limo.”

The termite got the message and speed warped to the large golden mansion, shimmering with Cuputul pride. The building was on top of a large hill that was almost completely surrounded by water. The big round door that was half open for visitors to enter. As they neared the almost castle, Raa began to sweat. A lot. More than a lot. 

“I think she’s about to die.” Say-So whispered to Boe

“I sure hope she does. She’s beginning to smell bad and she is taking up a lot of room in the house.” Boe responded. 

“But how? I mean, she’s already dead.”

“I heard that if we burn her, she will go into what is almost an underworld 2.0.”

“Smart!” Say-So happily said.

“What are you girls whispering about?” Raa yelled.

“Hey! I have an idea! I heard that if you walk into a fire, you actually cool off!” Say-So said.

“Exactly how idiotic do you think I am?” Raa said, questioning the younger witch.

“Let’s find out!” Boe said, pushing the old woman into a nearby wildfire. 

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Raa exclaimed.

And right when the first flame touched her stomach, she vanished into thin air. 

“Wow, that actually worked!” Say-So 

“Thanks!” Boe responded, patting herself on the back. 

“Let’s go to that meeting now, before we’re late.”

The second the two witches stepped on the Cuputul’s marble floors, a blast of heat hit them. And hit them hard. Hit them so hard that they fell right in their behinds. 

“Weeyo! That is something about this place I won’t miss!” Say-So whooped in joy. 

“Stop right there. We have found the thieves. Put your hands where I can see them.” A deep voice loomed over the witches.

As if they were programmed to do it, they put their hands above their heads and screamed. They screamed so hard that the glass chandelier above rattled.

“Shut your pie hole!” The voice loomed, and before the witches knew what to do, a fire ball was thrown at them.

It hit them. They burned. They entered the underworld 2.0, but that’s another story...