A BLANK CANVAS

Today was mom’s day.

I stared in fascination at her hair. Where there had only been streaks before; her head was now a mass of orange mane. They curled beautifully around her sharp jawline, making the orange tinge on her cheeks more prominent.

Dad walked in, stopping right behind her. He curled a strand of her hair around his index finger. “Looks beautiful, honey. Are the kids getting theirs done too?” She looked unsurely at me. What did she think I would do? Dye my hair white because they named me Whit? It was bad enough I didn’t fit, but did others have to know that too? She sighed and shook her head. “Everyone except him.”

“Well, I don’t know what we were thinking, huh?’ he asked, staring at me with a detached face. “We really should have thought this through.” He didn’t like me and made it his business to make it painfully obvious.

“Reddy, stop that.” Mom walked over to me, cupping my face in both her hands. “Get ready, honey. We don’t want to be late for Blue’s recital now, do we?”

“Do I have to come? I can stay home and … and do the dishes. Yea, someone needs to do them before tonight, right? I will do it.” As much as I loved Blue, it was embarrassing to be seen anywhere with my family, the Hues. 

Mom stared at me a long moment, then nodded her approval. “You can leave the big ones out. I will do those.” She went around collecting the throw pillows and blankets, tossing them in the box she was carrying. Practice really does make a man perfect. We could do the entire house in under three hours now. Of course, the man-power helped.

“Blue, baby, hurry-up. We’re getting late.” Dad took the box from her. “I will keep this and be back to pick you all up. Be ready,” he called over his shoulder.

I watched unaffected as all the girls dolled up for Blue’s recital, laughing and joking around with each other. Guess they didn’t need a brother after all. Ello and Green, my eldest siblings, were taking turns doing the younger ones’ hair, trying out different hairstyles. I pulled Blue aside, who looked annoyed to be interrupted.

“Best of luck,” I whispered, staring longingly at the crowd that had gathered around mom as she did their ribbons.

“You’re not coming?” she asked, bringing my attention back to her. I shook my head affirmatively. She frowned, and I think I saw something that resembled hurt flash across her face, but it passed just as quick.

“Oh,” she said. “Well, some of the girls will be there with their families. You know Alan. He will be there too. You could talk to him, Whit.”

How could I tell her that friends were not the problem? That it wasn’t normal to – I shook my head again. She would never understand. They’d been doing this too long.

“Come on now girls. We have to be back home early. Have to wake up early tomorrow, remember? It is going to be a long day.” Isn’t it every day?

Mom came over to me and smiled, ruffling my hair as she kissed my cheek. “Don’t take it to heart, honey. You know how he can be sometimes. He is your dad.”

She was so sweet and understanding; I would feel bad back-stabbing her.

When all of them were piled in the car, I ran over to Blue’s side.

“I love you,” I whispered. She was my favorite. I would feel bad about back-stabbing her too.

She leaned out the window, kissing my forehead. “And you know I love you too, Whit. I just … wish you were more like us.”

“Not too many colors in the rainbow for that, huh?” I smiled sadly at her as the car drove off.

*

I shielded my eyes against the sharp light pouring in through the curtains. Our yellow drapes weren’t curtaining material, so a lot of the sunlight managed to pass through even when they were drawn. I rolled out of bed, walking groggily to the living room downstairs. Ello and Violet were singing along to the tunes on the radio as they donned yellow covers on the sofa.

They didn’t even wake me up for this now.

I collected my share of the sheets and pillowcases and all other things that I would need. Once in my room, I banged the door shut and got to work. It took about an hour to get it all done, and with the curtains already up, I was all done in under forty-five minutes.

Being the youngest in a family of eight undoubtedly meant you would be picked on. In my family, however, they let me be. Because I didn’t fit in. Dad, Mom, Ello, Green, Blue, Violet, and Indigo. Where did a Whit fit into this? He didn’t.

Mom knocked on my door and opened it, peeking in and looking around. “All done?” she asked. I nodded, placing the last of my orange souvenirs in the orange box.

“Oh doesn’t it all look so bright and lovely. Just like the Sun.” She ran her hand over the crisp, yellow sheets spread on my bed, then smiled at me. “Get changed and come down for breakfast.”

*

I walked along the corridors with my head hung low, avoiding the knowing looks from the few who’d seen me with the Hues family. Most didn’t know I was a part of it, which was more than fine by me. I caught sight of Hayden, bounding toward me with a test paper flying in the air.

“I got a B,” she said breathlessly, grinning. Guess I had to congratulate her then. She opened her mouth to speak again, then stopped. “It’s yellow already? Wow, days sure are flying by. When’s it white?” She laughed at her joke but regained her composure when she saw the look on my face.

“I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t Whit. I’m sorry, but your family weirds me out.” I nodded understandingly. They weirded me out too. I walked along with her to our first class, listening to her rant. I wasn’t really paying attention, not until I heard her say – “What happens when the rainbow fades?”

I stopped short of entering the class, gazing into her honey-colored orbs. She looked like she genuinely wanted an answer. After a long moment, my shoulders slumped. “It never does, Hay. That is the problem. They’ve done it so long, they think this is how it all works.” She placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it before walking into class.

“Rainbows always fade. You just have to look at the right time.”

*

They all had colored hair.

When mom said all the girls were getting their hair done, I’d assumed it would be like the streaks she’d had before. But now, only Blue sported streaks, while all the others had either gone full out with their respective colors or dyed the entire lower half.

“I know you don’t like it, but don’t be quick to judge,” Blue said. “It actually looks good when I leave it open.”

“It looks beautiful, Blu. Why didn’t they all get it done like yours?” 

“Ello wanted to, but the lady at salon suggested she get it done in a darker shade of yellow. She said it would suit her complexion. And the others, well, they liked how it looks on mom. She does look different and young, doesn’t she?” I nodded, finding it fascinating how well she carried the streaks, given the brunette she is.

“Anyway, I was talking to Hayden today and she said ‘the rainbow always fades.’ What do you make of that, Blue? It means we don’t have to live like this anymore! We can be normal people.”

For the first time, I saw cold, hard resentment in Blue’s eyes. And it was directed at me.

“Don’t ever say something like that again. We are normal people, Whit. And this is how we will always live.”

I tried to put a lid on my anger, really, but the thought of losing the only family I had on my side threw me off the rail. My eyes flooded with unshed tears, my throat dried up and when I screamed out the words at her, I knew it was what I had always wanted to say. To her, to mom, to dad, to everyone.

“What is normal, Blue? Waking up every morning earlier than the Sun to decorate the house in shades of the rainbow? To make it a blank canvas every night and prepare it for the next day? To splash bright colors around the house when all you’re feeling inside is black? Huh? Is that what is normal for you, Blue? Because it is not. It is not normal for me. It never will be.”

“That is because you never fit in, Whit,” she spat, turning on her heel and walking out of the room. Once again, I was left along with only my thoughts for company. And the ones I was having right now weren’t good.

*

I knew Blue wasn’t going to forgive me for what I said and I’d prepared myself for the ignoring and silent treatment. But it still hurt. It still pained when she didn’t kiss my cheek before school like she always did. It hurt when she didn’t ask me how my test went when she obviously knew about it. It hurt when she joined the girls, helping them make their rooms and left me to do mine myself.

It all hurt more than when dad would bring dinner and make sure I was the last one to eat.

I fell into a routine – wake up, color-coordinate my room, leave for school, come back, get my studies done, go to bed and the cycle continued.

For the months to come, the routine helped. With tests and papers due every other day, I barely had time to go over my plan. Which was good, because I feared if I gave it too much thought, I wouldn’t be able to do it. With every passing day, I started feeling more and more uncomfortable, like the queasy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you feel something will go wrong. Only, I felt that 24 hours a day.

*

I stripped down the violet curtains and bedding from every room. Sofa covers and table-cloth went in the same box, while all the small mantle-piece decorations went into another. I wished I had the man-power, but I could do it all myself. It would just take longer than usual to get the entire house done.

When I was sure every single piece of violet was neatly packed into boxes, I walked downstairs to the hall, carrying the colored satin sheets in my arms. There was one for every color of the rainbow.

Carefully, I arranged their bodies in order of birth, starting with dad and ending with Violet. My eyes watered a little when I shifted Blue’s body, but it was relatively easy to get them wrapped in their respective shrouds.  

*

When the police arrived, they looked around, speechless and tongue-tied. As they walked me away, I looked over my shoulder, smiling as I said to Blue –

“Hayden was right. The rainbow does fade. The colors have died.”