A Disastrous First-Show

Submitted into Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

64 comments

Fiction Sad Funny

๐€ ๐ƒ๐ข๐ฌ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐…๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ-๐’๐ก๐จ๐ฐ

"Are you ready, Mister?" asked the stage crew.

"Of course!" he replied cheerfully, "I couldn't be more ready! My life...my aim, my plan, myโ€”my dreams! They are all going to come true Ben!" he continued to yell gleefully.

"You are right sir. But this is your first time," Ben warned the man.

"Ben, may I tell you something?" asked the man.

"Whyโ€”why of course sir!" he replied curiously.

"Well, everything, every moment will always have it's the first time. Whether or not you realize it. Every single event will have a beginning to it. Consider being a host as one. My life is going to change Ben, I can already picture my future!" the man exclaimed which made Ben jump back a little.

"Y...yes, sir. I guess you are right," he replied, now trembling.

"You should agree with me," he told in an ominous voice as he turned to Ben's back. "Now, Ben, I don't have a clue for why you are wasting your time chatting with me! Go! Go...set everything up! Make sure the room is spotless!" he ordered.

"But sir Iโ€”" Ben wanted to finish his sentence, but the man interrupted.

"You see, just listen to me. I am the manager, the director, and the host of this show. I have so much money that I could even be the producer of this show! So, are you going to listen to me, or do you want to get fired on the first day of your working experience?" the man asked.

"No...sir," he replied.ย 

"I wanted to tell him that I am NOT the janitorial staff but the stage crew director. If he would just listen to me! Such a stubborn and terrible manager! I can't believe I have to workย forย him." Ben mumbled by himself after the man went to the main room.

โœตโœตโœต

"Why Hello Mr. Gardener! How are you feeling today? Most likely anxious and excited at the same time!" the man asked the producer of the show.

"Oh, quite like that. Thank you for asking Iโ€”I quite appreciate it." Mr. Gardener replied as he put his hand on his bald head.

"Don't mind me asking, but, what is the time? The show is almost about to start!" the man wailed.

"Why the time is...7:30 pm. The show is about to start in another 30 minutes or so. Did you alert the stage crew to set everything up?" Mr. Gardener asked the man.

"Yes! I just crossed through Ben right now and told him to set everything, the lights, and make sure all the technical things are right on spot." the man replied, and Mr. Gardener nodded his head, looking pleased with the man.

"Very good, I shall see you in another 30 minutes then Lumiere." the man shook Lumiere's hand, and he went out of the main room.

"Ha! Soon, this show will all beย mine.ย I will run it by myself and get all the fame I have ever wanted. As time passes,ย Who Said It?ย will be known for me, and only me!" Lumiere chuckled as he too, dashed out of the room to get everything set up.

โœตโœตโœต

"Paul! Did you set up the buzzers? The screens? The lights? The flashes? Music check? Soundcheck? Screen check?" asked Lumiere, expecting everything to be ready.

"Umm....y-yes, sir. W-we are almost done with all the checks, just the buzzers. We need to decode them for a second, just a little technical issue, but we promise, sir, everything will be fine. The show will be good once the contestants and audience come." Paul replied nervously.

"What!? Your troop has still not gotten anything ready? Ay-ay-ay! We need to let the audience in by 8:10 pm, sharp! Oh my gosh! What were you all doing during work time? This show is going to premiere to the entire world in a matter of minutes and I hear that the main part of the show is not ready!" he blew up at them.

"Oh sorry, mister. It's just, we had to set up the songs, the dialogues, and everything else, that we moved the buzzer toward the end of our schedule." Paul replied.

"Whatever," Lumiere mumbled to himself, and then turned towards Paul and the crew, "I need you all to finish the buzzers in another five minutes, do you all understand?" he warned them, with his beady-looking eyes.

"Of-of course! We will definitely finish them." Paul reassured the man.

"Then what are you all waiting for? Stop looking at me and each other! Start doing the work!" he yelled, and with so much tension, the rest quickly continued working on it.

"Such bastards! I don't know what Gardener saw in these teenagers. They know nothing! Better for them to continue school and college. Such imbeciles." Lumiere mumbled to himself, and that's when he bumped into the cooperative manager.

"Everything going good, Lumiere?" she asked.

"Iโ€”yes! Yup, everything is moving smoothly. Just, when are the contestants going to arrive?" asked the man, now sweating.

"About that, I want to talk to you in private, Lumiere," she said and directed him to go to the board room.

โœตโœตโœต

"They said they were going to arrive a bit late. Also, I just checked the weather on my iPad, and it isn't good. It is snowing out there. I don't think the contestants can make it in time. Neither can the audience. It is snowing at almost 1 foot! I don't know about this show. We can't keep the stage for too long, Mr. Lumiere. I am afraid that you and your crew must cancel the premiere. Today is just not your day. I am sorry. I will give you compensation. Whenever you are ready, please do call me and my clients and I can schedule an appointment for a show here. But other than that, there is nothing I can do about this. Sorry, but you all should pack up and go." she replied the terrible news, and Lumiere was stunned.

"This was supposed to be my first day! I cannot believe this became such a disastrous first-show!" Lumiere whined as he started walking away, from the room, nodding to the coordinate manager.

~The End~

January 09, 2021 18:11

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64 comments

00:04 Jan 10, 2021

Hi, I just want to say, your story was out of this world! I thought you were a professional author! Also, I really don't mean to pry, but can you please go and like, comment, and follow me. I am in 6th grade and this was my first post. As an added perk, I will follow you back! Can you please take this into consideration?

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Hello Devaki!! I am so glad that you liked this story! Also, I will surely do that! :)

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Hi, Laila! Want to be in my new fantasy submission? Just tell me your character's: Hair color Eye color Skin color (it's fantasy so it could even be, like, silver or blue if you want to) Age Height Magic power/element Talent Spirit animal

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Oh wow, thank you so much Emmie! I would love to!! :) Hair Color: Chocolate (the color, not the food) Eye Color: Brunette (the color, not the hairstyle) Skin Color: Real one is tan, but I would like to have a lavender skin color Age: Hmm...idk Height: 5ft Magic Power: To teleport, and element would be controlling nature Talent: Violin, Drawing, Writing! Spirit Animal: The same thing I said to Maya, a Hawk Also, can you name my character by my real name, Haripriya? Thanks!

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Ok! I guess I'll have two Harpriya's, or maybe the other Harpriya can go by another name?

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Oh no, my real name is Haripriya, I just changed it to Laila for fun! But if you want to have two "me" then the other one can be Laila, if you want! :)

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Ben To
02:25 Jan 14, 2021

Bummer, I really wanted to see more of that Ben guy, he was crushing it in scene 1. :D Great story, loved it!

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Haha, I regret having such less parts of him! Name was totally inspired by you!! Thank you so much Ben! :)

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Kristin Neubauer
20:57 Jan 09, 2021

A bit of a delay between my like and comment. I started reading, liked it, got interrupted and just came back to it. Great job! Iโ€™ve been looking at this prompt and puzzling over it. You pulled it off beautifully. Through your very natural dialogue, I got a good sense of Lumiere and his dreams. The funny/sad combo was a perfect balance. I really enjoyed this and learned a lot. Great job!

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Wow Kristin, I saw your like in my notifications, and wondered about the comment...but is glad to have recieved one! I am so glad that you liked this sad/funny story!! :)

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Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a great Saturday! Quick things to mention about the story: 1. I know a story can't be sad, AND funny at the same time...but somehow I felt that this story perfectly fit into both of these genre categories. It was sad that Lumiere could never host the show, and his plans were all ruined. But at the same time, we feel it as a little funny that he dreamed all of these things for absolutely no reason! 2. I kind of got inspired to do a story where the plot is a show from reading a book called "Flor and...

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Bruna Cavalcante
16:15 Jan 18, 2021

Wow, I loved reading this story! Thank you for sharing, it was great

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Frances Reine
13:22 Jan 13, 2021

Oh wow, this is so brave. I don't think I would've ever chosen this prompt. The dialogue was rlly natural, you're good at that. Also, you write so fast!! I need to read faster haha.

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Thank you so much Frances, I am so glad that you liked the dialogue! You are so sweet and such an amazing person! You don't need to write fast...just the quality of your stories should be good, which it is. =)

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Frances Reine
14:51 Jan 13, 2021

Aw, thanks so much, you're TOO nice, Haripriya!! You know what's amazing about the stuff you write? It comes out fast and it's SO good. Can't wait to read the rest of your stories from this week!

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Oh my gosh Frances...I'm just speechless!!! You are so awesome Frances, thank you so much for your kind and meaningful words, it really means a lot. Also, I can't wait to read more of your stories from this week too!!! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ

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Frances Reine
15:59 Jan 13, 2021

Haripriya, thank YOU!! โค๏ธ

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Hi Laila! I wanted to ask you.. do you want to be in my story? If you do, tell be your: Hair: Eyes: Clothes: Personality: Weapon: Color:

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Thank you so much for asking!! Hair: Medium-long (Meaning my hair is until my waist), in a ponytail (mostly, even now), and hair color is brunette Eyes: Dark chocolate Clothes: Sweatshirts (my personal fav!!), Sweatpants, Shirts, (the buttoned ones with the tie on the bottom) and overalls! Personality: Bubbly, Sweet, Kind, Perfectionist, Hard-worker, Friendly, Extrovert Weapon: Many shields, transformable guns?? Color: Are you asking my fav color? If so, it's lavender.

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13:59 Jan 10, 2021

Oh, noooooooooo I sad because you wrote such an awesome story but exclusively through dialogue means no dialogue tags or additional stuff. It was great thoooooooooo

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But if you don't have dialogue tags, how would anyone know who is speaking? Like in your auction story...the characters who were talking were good, but at some places, there could have been multiple people talking. So, dialogue tags would help to just clarify things. It didn't have any narration, I guess. But, thanks for your feedback. =)

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16:22 Jan 10, 2021

I knowwwww it was annoying but you just have to try and make that clearer I guess. I'm not saying yours was bad I'm just saying that Jenn tried to torture usssssss

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16:25 Jan 10, 2021

:D I love your writingggggggggg

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Aww, thanks Luke! Your name kind of reminds me of a show in Disney.

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Writer Maniac
11:57 Jan 10, 2021

Hey! I liked the idea, but I felt like it was too short and not developed enough. I feel like you could detail it further and proofread it to remove the grammar mistakes. This is just my honest feedback, I hope you take it the right way!

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Writer Maniac
16:48 Jan 10, 2021

No problem!

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Writer Maniac
17:47 Jan 10, 2021

By the way, I edited 'Secrets and Smiles' a bit, so please check it out and tell me what you think of this version :)

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Kay (:
03:58 Jan 10, 2021

This is very interesting as I see you wrote this in just two days time. Did you have anyone proof read it? A few adjustments need to be made and I had a hard time figuring out which character was who at times.

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Hello there! Oh, I see Makayla, I guess I will improve the dialogue tags next time. Thank you for telling me! :)

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Kay (:
19:24 Jan 10, 2021

You're welcome! It's a good story line though!

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13:09 Jan 17, 2021

Very clever. Best wishes, Rhonda

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16:55 Jan 10, 2021

Heyyyyyyyyyylo!

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20:43 Jan 10, 2021

Just, yโ€™know, bored but busy. Which means Iโ€™ll procrastinate my schoolwork by messaging friends. Whatcha up to?

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Oh, nothing...just practicing my violin, and worrying about tomorrow. Lol!

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Coco Longstaff
00:10 Jan 10, 2021

HIII Laila I loved this story, but I love the name Lumiere even better! How or where did you come up with it????? Again, great story!

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Hello there Coco! (And if you want, you can call me by my real name!) Thank you so much! :)

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Coco Longstaff
00:48 Jan 10, 2021

Is Hari ok? Oh, and also, Iโ€™m writing a story right now, like it will be out in 5 minutes. Maybe you could read it?

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