They Leave, We Leave, I Leave-

Everyone eventually leaves, yeah maybe not now but soon, later they all leave.

They leave, We leave, I leave. It's a cycle, a sad one, but its the truth

..

“Oh my goodness your going to love her, Athena..” Lily says. “Tiffany is the best, the besstt!” smacking my arm over and over.

“Okay” I say moving away from her so that I am out of her range. I’m not really a fan of ‘Tiffany’s’. Not after that Tiffany.

“What are you glaring at??” Lily says looking around. “Omg is she here??” Lily says quickly gaping. “Does my hair look good? Make up?” Lily asks me as she smacks my arm once again.

“You look the same as you do everyday..Whats the big deal? Its just one of your friends” I say.

“A friend??!” she yells at me in surprise. “No Athena, shes a goddess!!” Lily says. Ironic how she uses my name next to goddess but shes calling someone else a goddess.

“Super popular! so pretty I’m surprised shes not a model!” Lily says. “I so want to be her friend” Lily says.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this Tiffany. No it can’t be her, stop it Athena. “Okay” I respond looking back at my phone.

“You don’t even care” she says crossing her arms.

“I don’t” I respond back. Cause I seriously do not care. I don’t care for meeting new people, all I want to do is study and pass every single of my classes here in college. All Lily wants to do is find friends and fit in. She would die without friends, its pretty pathetic if you ask me. We are roommates and so everyday when we got here, she used to follow me constantly talk to me, much to my annoyance and soon I just got used to her being there, she became like a book bag to me. Just a book bag. We soon became friends-ish…I guess. Whatever. Lily tricked me and I ended up following her to meet this Tiffany, she’d been asking me for weeks to accompany her and my answer was an absolute ‘no’. So excuse me for not caring.

“Your a bad friend” she says with a pout. “Uh huh” I respond still scrolling through my phone.

“There she is! THERE SHE IS! Omg Athena! she’s really here. The Tiffany is going to hang out with me- us!” Lily soon shuts up when we walk closer. I look up from my phone when Lily smacks my arm.

“Stop touching me!” I say with a slight yell.

“Hi!! Omg hi!” Lily says hugging Tiffany ignoring me. When I finally get the chance to focus on this Tiffany, I gape. Not because she’s pretty, I could care less, not because she’s a ‘goddess’, shes not. But because this Tiffany is that Tiffany.

“Hi!” Tiffany says with that sweet raspy voice hugging Lily back, the voice I hate so much. Tiffany looks at me, her eyes widen just a bit when she sees me. I respond back with the same bored stare.

“Okay! so this is Athena, she’s my roommate, she just happened to be here with me haha…nothing more, I’m sorry.” Lily says.

Wait, did she just….lie on me.

“Athena! thats a beautiful name isn’t that the name of the warrior, the goddess ff war in Greek mythology..” Tiffany says with that fake smile.

I stare at her for a full 5 seconds, then I pull out my phone. “Uh huh” is all I say.

“Athena!” Lily says at me with a little anger. “Sorry Tiffany she just gets like this ….sometimes.”

“Oh I know” Tiffany says with laughter. I look up.

“Oh? You guys…know each other?” Lily asks. Is that disappointment?

I meet Tiffany’s eyes once more. They are brown just like I remember, those eyes are what stared at me, tortured me, and they felt no remorse. I want nothing to do with her.

“No.” we both say at the same time, much to my annoyance.

“Oh…kay” Lily says.

“I’m leaving” I say as I stuff my hands into my sweats.

“Wait what? Athena..” Lily says grabbing my hand. “You should have lunch with us..you know you haven’t eaten today, and your always hungry so…”

“What?” I say pulling my hand away. Shes the one who’s always hungry, why is she making it seem like I’m the always-hungry one.

“I’m just saying” Lily says with a shrug while glancing over at Tiffany for approval? Is that what this is? Is that why she bothered me to go with her. So that I can make her seem better, look better. She’s using me.

I shake my head and walk off. And I hear that giggle from Tiffany, the giggle that haunts my nightmares.

“Lets just go she’s clearly dealing with some personal issues” I hear Tiffany say.

Why now? Why is Tiffany here? At my dream college? I mean what are the chances- whatever doesn’t matter she won’t have the chance to use me. Ever. Again.

Flashback

“Why are you so- annoying Athena! That name- Athena belonged to a goddess- not an ugly prick like you!”

“Oh well she wasn’t real anyways, if only you weren’t either. Everyone would be so much happier, I’m not mean am I? Your just an easy target!

Ugly…

Stupid…

Just Disappear…

No one likes you…

…You…

*SLAM*

My flashback ends with the slam of the door. And for once I’m actually happy for that slamming door.

“Athena! What the hell! Why did you just leave me!” Lily yells at me. She doesn’t look happy and I’m not in the best mood after all this mess today.

“Didn’t feel like staying so I left” I say writing down my notes from my last class

“And? Who does that? I was literally freaking out the whole time, and now who knows what Tiffany thinks of you, she probably hates you”

“Don’t care” I respond. Shes hated me for a long time anyways and for no reason. So if she hates me now at least she has a good reason too.

“Ugh Athena whats wrong with you? I invited you out today so that you could have fun! You never have fun, look at you all you do is study all day..your outfits are ridiculous too”.

Not even a few hours of hanging out with Tiffany shes already starting to act like her.

“So what? I should dress like you and fill my face with make up and party all night? Should I try to befriend everyone on campus too? should I fail everyone of my classes too?” I ask her, she opens her mouth to speak but I shut her up.

“Well I’m not going to ever be like that okay? If your looking for someone like that go find them but don’t push your wishes on me.” I say getting up, packing my books and stuff. Her face looks scrunched and angry, I guess I should be sympathetic and stop to spare her feelings..but nahh, don’t want to.

“Another thing…Tiffany is not who you think. I don’t particularly care who you hang out with or whatever, doesn’t affect me. But I just want to warn you to be careful-” I say cautiously but she interrupts.

“Or what?!” she yells. “Your just a jealous b**** hidden behind that bored expression, I knew it from day 1 when I asked you to come with me. Your jealous of me, your jealous of her! Grow the hell up!” she yells at me.

I stare at her..I really don’t have time for this. This is what I get for warning her about Tiffany, well okay..I tried.

“Okay” I say with a shrug reaching for the door nob.

“Your not going to say anything back! Typical” she says crossing her arms at me.

“Nope, see ya” I respond back as I open the door and leave. Its a good thing that shes finally showed me her true colors, even though she said all those things to me, it clearly shows that’s what she thinks of me. I get it and I guess it kinda stings a little. But I can never wish anything bad on her, on anybody who does me wrong just because of the simple fact that I know how it feels. If she doesn’t change, I can only hope she doesn’t turn out like me back then. I can only hope.

I walk tiredly to the library, all this drama is wearing me out this is exactly why I didn’t want a roommate, this is exactly why.

“Athy! ATHY!” a specific sweet and raspy voice calls out. I’ve not been called that since- since middle school. Tiffany used to call me that back when we were friends and she wasn’t such a cruel person. Well maybe she always was a cruel person but maybe I never noticed because just like everyone else, I adored her, she was my role model. When high school came, she became my worst nightmare.

So I look up and around. And I see Tiffany, she holds the library door for me, she is smiling waiting patiently for me to come up to her. I turn around and walk the other way.

“Athy! Wait! Please” she yells after me eventually grabbing my arm to stop me.

“Don’t touch me!” I yell snatching my hand back.

“Okay, okay Athy I won’t touch you” she says raising her hands up. I glance at her and continue on my way.

“Wait, Athy I want to talk-” she starts to say.

“No” I interrupt before she finishes.

“You didn’t let me finish” she says running in front of me. I sigh aggravated I feel my anger rising just by looking at her.

“Okay, continue”

“I want to talk to you” she finishes. I look at her to see if she has anything else to say.

“No.” I say walking right past her.

“Athy!” she calls that nickname. That name brings back fake memories, I hate it.

“Not! my name, I want nothing to do with you, okay?” I say turning to her.

“I know you don’t but- Please just listen Athy-Athena” she blocks my path once more.

“I’ve felt bad for years, all those things I did to you were just terrible, I know I should have never did it” she says.

I stare at her my glare piercing hers. The words are clear. Liar.

“Athena-”

“And what about me? Huh Tiffany? Don’t tell me its just now your feeling guilty?” I say with laughter it feels weird to laugh.

“If you feel guilty now what do you think I felt for the full 4 years of my high school life. Now you want me to what? relieve you from your guilt, tell you I forgive you? ….Well I don’t. If what your saying is even true, I hope you drown in your guilt, I hope it haunts your every day and night. Just like your words still do to me.” I say

My words come out sour and bitter. But its what I feel. I’ve carried this pain with me for so long, it feels so good to release it. I walk right past her bumping my shoulder on hers rudely as I walk.

“HEY!” she yells grabbing my arm tightly, her voice changing back to the way I remember.

“Finally” I say turning to her. “I was starting to get sick of that little skit you were playing”

“You stupid-” she says reaching her hand to slap me, but I refuse to ever go through those again so I grab her soft pedicured hand and twist them behind her back and then I grab her other hand as I kick her legs so that she is kneeling.

She screams in pain but I don’t care. I will never care for her.

“Remember this Tiffany? Brings back memories huh, now all we need is a toilet to make it match perfectly! Right!? RIGHT!!” I scream at her.

“Let me go you freak!!” she screams louder so that everyone can look but I don’t even care for their looks. They continue walking by with that look off ‘Should I help her? Should I not?’

“Sorry she’s my sister, just trying to get back my phone!” I say to them. They look away, uncomfortable but I guess understanding.

This isn’t me, I should not do this. Revenge won’t help me heal.

“NO-” she says about to scream so I clasp my hand over her lips. And I whisper real close to her ear.

“Stay away from me or I promise, I will make sure you regret ever bullying me, I will make your college life miserable. I promise I will show you just how much I’ve learned over the course of summer, do you want that to happen? Huh Tiffany!?”

She shakes her head in fear. “Good, now be a good girl and stay away from me, act like you don’t know me. Act like I never existed just like you wished. Promise me you will.” I say with cracks in my voice.

“I promise, I PROMISE!” she says through a muffled voice. “Great” I say letting her go shoving her to the ground. She’s shivering and crying like a little puppy, but I’m the only one who knows shes a snake.

“I used to fear you” I say with a look of disgust. “But now I think you should fear me, if I ever catch you doing what you did to me to someone else I promise you, you will suffer. Okay?”

She nods with some hiccups from her tears. “You disgust me.” I whisper shaking my head, then I walk away. Leaving her on the floor. I can only hope she changes, putting your insecurity on others is never a good color on anybody.

…

The rest of the day I spent crying. I couldn’t sleep due to headaches, remembering everything she did to me. Every single last detail. I’m still afraid to sleep. Afraid to relive everything. Everything that Tiffany did to me. And like every night I ask myself…and the world..Why me?

But now I know the answer; I could handle it

…

“I’m switching dorm rooms” Lily says the next morning as she taps her finger nail on the table.

“Okay” I say as I write not focusing on her. I lost too much time yesterday.

“You don’t care as always, I see” she says smacking the table.

“Thats correct” I say. “I hope your new roommate treats you nice or whatever”

“My new roommate is Tiffany, of course she will treat me right, shes better than you in every way possible” she says.

“I see”.

“Were we ever friends..Athena? I want you to answer me honestly.” she asks.

I sigh and look up at her. “I did consider you my friend at some point, but the way your treating me now shows me that you never once considered me yours” I say clicking my pen.

“I never- what! You never treated me like your friend either! You literally never cared” she says.

“I brought you home when you didn’t come home from partying. I always tied your hair up when you threw up, I spent all night cooking you soup when you were sick. I brought over your hangover medicine when you completely forgot. I went out of my way for you half the time, how about you stop focusing on my words and start focusing on my actions”. I say continuing to write.

“I- I didn’t-” she stutters. Of course she didn’t know.

“Too late, keep on packing and just go Lily” I say. After that she didn’t say anything back. People tend to forget the kindness of others because they get used to it. For me, Lily was truly my friend and it breaks my heart that she never once saw me the same way. She saw me as someone that could help her shine. I was a black board so that she could shine.

Its too late..Its too late.

…

1 Month later

Lily moved out and every now and then I see her walking with Tiffany laughing and chatting they both ignore me and act like I don’t exist. And I am perfectly fine with that.

My new roommate focuses on herself. We say hi every now and then but she’s just someone I live with nothing more nothing less.

I guess everything worked out. I no longer have any toxins and I’m trying to relieve myself from my past somehow. And find joy in myself. I want nothing more than to grow, to be the best I can..and that’s it. That’s all.

I’m alone most of the time but its nothing I can’t deal with. In the end, I was right..

They leave, We leave, I leave-

I bump into someone. My book flies out of my hand. “Stop staring dumbo and pick it up” his guy friend says smacking his head.

“Oh I’m sorry…” the boy says. His voice deep and manly. He’s surrounded by two girls and 1 guy. You can tell they are tight friends. I see them hanging around in the coffee shop I study at and the library.

“I got it..” he says picking up my book handing it over to me..

“Thanks” I say taking the book back.

“Sorry, he tends to bump into things” the girl says. “Hey!” the guy that picked up my book yells offended.

“Its okay” I say. “Excuse me..” I say excusing myself.

One day I hope to find a group just like them who accept themselves, who accept me…. One day…

I smile looking up at the clouds. Its time to rewrite my quote;

They leave, We leave, I leave- And then a new story begins