Re: The Type He Likes

“Your crush on Kyungho is too far gone for me to save you,” Junwen said dismissively, as he did with everything. He didn’t even bother looking up from his book. Yangshui was sitting on the couch next to him, having barely just breached the subject of liking Kyungho Lee. It wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting from his best friend, but maybe Yangshui should just stop being stupid, honestly; of course, Junwen would’ve become more aware of his crush before him, the one having a crush.

“Do I even want to know when you figured out I had a crush?” Yangshui asked, laughing. In some ways, Junwen was just the smart best friend, but in some ways, specifically, the ways that Yangshui deemed far out of the reach of normal human brains, he was (in Yangshui’s words), a god of his own. He’d recently dyed his hair to a silver purple too, and it suited him, adding to that gentle scholarly looked that was already there with his round, thin wire-framed glasses.

Case in point: Shaoxi had once gone to Junwen for advice on how to write a ten page essay. Junwen wasn’t an essay person (none of the friend group was, to be honest) but he’d managed to somehow crank out a neat list of strategies and points to consider. Shaoxi, after procrastinating for two weeks, wrote a ten page essay in three days and made an A. 

Junwen huffed, “I knew you had a massive crush on Kyungho when I saw you beat Yoohyuck in that race everyone was betting on and the first person you started for the moment you won was him. Even Soonyoung could tell, and you know how oblivious he is.”

Yangshui choked on air, “Even Soonyoung? No way, telling me you’re lying. Junwen, seriously?” 

Junwen passed him an offhanded glance, “He came up to me while you were busy trying to hug Kyungho to death and asked me if it was possible you perhaps liked Kyungho.”

“And what did you say?” Yangshui prompted.

“I said you’d be an idiot to not see that the answer is yes.”

It was a typical Junwen answer, sharp and just a little bit of rudeness. If he didn’t somehow indirectly insult someone’s intelligence, then Yangshui would be more worried than thankful that his wits had been questioned for the nth time. 

“Okay, now help me. What should I do?” Yangshui whined. He laid his on top of Junwen’s book, forcing his attention away from tattooed dead trees. 

Junwen gave his head a small, half-hearted shove, “Didn’t I say your crush is beyond my help? Ask Seongyoun or something.”

“Seongyoun would tell me to follow my heart, which is just him insinuating I should probably just confess my feelings,” Yangshui complained.

“It’s solid advice, it’s not like Kyungho hates you.”

“Kyungho is probably straight. Tell me he doesn’t have straight people energy, I dare you.”

Junwen pauses, “... A bit.” 

Yangshui sighed dramatically, pointing an equally dramatic finger up at Junwen’s face, pushing up his drooping glasses from him in the process. He’s close enough to see the tiny freckled Kyunghos on Junwen’s face, and the small scar under his lip, “And do straight men like men? No, Junwen. So what do I do?”

“What do I do, he whines,” Junwen mocked. “Like I’ve ever had a crush before.”

“Humor me,” Yangshui nudges. “Do your thing and rip me to shreds or whatever.” Yangshui felt no shame in asking Junwen about anything ever because despite not having experience, somehow everything he suggests manages to be correct and worked out in the end.

Junwen gave him an odd glance, “You never like it when I’m honest.” 

Correct- Yangshui never did, because Junwen (according to his calculations) wasn’t human. Everything he’d ever said was right. Which for normal people like Yangshui, who oftentimes could easily be wrong, was kind of grating. Nonetheless, Junwen’s godly status in his head was always a vote of confidence in the right direction. 

“But you say it anyway,” Yangshui drawled. “So talk.” with the jib, Junwen scrunched up his nose, poking at Yangshui’s cheek ungratefully. 

“Your crush is definitely not born of just liking Kyungho-”

“You lost me,” Yangshui interrupted. 

“Shut up, I’m getting there,” Junwen scowled. “Remember your high school crush? Xiao Wunian-” At that, Yangshui simply took things into his own hands and sat up, covering Junwen’s mouth with his hands. Junwen’s eyes narrow, scowling at him for it. 

“We’re not going to talk about that, thanks,” Yangshui hissed. 

Junwen pulled Yangshui’s hands off him, “Yes, we are actually. I actually have another example from even more recently, also known as the nameless flower shop owner. The way you like Kyungho is very odd compared to Xiao Wunian and nameless flower shop owner- with Kyungho, you cling when there’s something you’ve done, like you want attention, with the other, you simply act like the typical tsundere stereotype.” Junwen kept Yangshui off him with the simple strength of will power as he talked. “By the way, your attachment type is secure, so it doesn’t really make sense that you tend to cling to Kyungho when we’re all around.”

“Hold on, how do you know my attachment style? What the hell is an attachment style anyway?” Yangshui asked, grabbing onto Junwen’s smaller hands, in case his best friend attempted to murder him by pushing him off and allowing him to hit his head on the oak table. 

“It’s a theory on how you bond with people in your life based on how you grew up,” Junwen explained briefly. “There’s four: secure, dismissive, anxious, and fearful.”

“Are you saying I have a good relationship with my attachments to people?” Yangshui asked, scrunching up his nose.

“For the most part, sure. You just need to stop trying to manipulate people into thinking you’re a certain way when you’re not,” Junwen explained before he frowned, and then the look faded away just like that as if it was the snap of a finger. Yangshui had a bad feeling. He was quite familiar with that look- he had once been on the receiving end of that look a few times- Junwen was probably thinking about something unexpected but somehow accurate to the finale of whatever disaster the others stirred up. 

“What?” Yangshui nudged. “You have that ‘I’m gonna say something that makes sense to only me’ look on your face again.”

Junwen didn’t seem to hear him, but he looked up at Yangshui’s puzzled face and said, “Yangshui… who do you really like?”

So for once in his life, Yangshui was right; and just like almost every other time he was right, he was right about something he didn’t want to be right about.

“You lost me again,” he said. Yangshui let go of Junwen’s hands, falling sideways onto the couch. His legs laid on Junwen’s lap while his light brown hair- bleached that color just last week, splayed messily on the couch. “I mean, I have a crush on Kyungho, not- I don’t know, not-Kyunghos.” 

Junwen narrowed his eyes, but there was a smile playing on his lips, “I know, stupid. Who do you think figured it out before you?” Yangshui scoffed, glancing away. Junwen’s book laid on the ground, low forgotten for Yangshui’s romance troubles. He sat back on the couch, thoughtful as he acted as Yangshui’s brain in the place of Yangshui’s brain cells. 

“Anyway, technically, you don’t know if Kyungho’s straight-”

“Are you saying my gaydar is faulty?” 

“You’re not always right, so yes,” Junwen retorted ruthlessly. Yangshui made a strangled, offending noise in the back of his throat, but Junwen was adept at ignoring him. “You could just follow theoretical Seongyoun’s advice and just confess your feelings and get over your feelings naturally.”

“You’re awful,” Yangshui chimed in helpfully. Logically, nothing in Junwen advice was wrong exactly, confessing was always a tried and true method of finding out the other party’s feelings, but Yangshui had a good idea of Kyungho’s feelings in his opinion, and he didn’t want to bother with a confession when he knew what way it was going to go. “Also, what did you mean when you said ‘who do you really like’? It made no sense and I would like my best friend back, please.”

“You’re the awful one,” Junwen bit back, just for Yangshui to grab at his chest, acting as though he had been shot through the heart by him. Junwen laughed, then said, “I don’t know. Your crush on Kyungho makes no sense; you don’t go for guys you don’t think you have a chance with-”

“Uhm, the nameless hottie from the flower shop begs to differ-”

“Shut up, you know damn well he was in your league- bisexual, likable, didn’t run in the opposite direction when you appeared-” Junwen got kicked in the chest with Yangshui’s foot with the last few words. “Wunian turned out to be pansexual, didn’t he? And here you are, with Kyungho, the expert at being straight. The only similarity he has with the rest of them is he’s a generally good, likable person. But maybe I’m thinking in the sense the way you see love has changed, who knows?” Junwen raised his eyebrows at Yangshui in question.

“Don’t ask me, do I look like I’m self-aware?” Yangshui muttered. 

“No.”

“Shut up, Junwen.”

In the end, Junwen’s solution, since Yangshui refused to confess his feelings to a straight guy, was to begin the process of moving on.

Which, in Yangshui’s brain, seemed to be avoiding Kyungho like a cat avoiding a bath. If Junwen hadn’t known Yangshui for half of his life, he would think it was annoying how much more often Yangshui was at his house, ruining his kitchen with the constant scent of ramen.

Junwen complained to the group chat often (the one without Kyungho in it, so that the rest of them could keep up with the Yangshui/Kyungho drama), grumbling about Yangshui's mess. He hadn’t kicked him out once yet, though, which meant he didn’t mind. 

“Don’t you have work?” Junwen asked as he came home to find Yangshui hanging out in his living room. 

Yangshui gestured expansively at the coffee table, buried under Yangshui’s floor plans and straight edges, “I am at work. The boss wants another floor plan for the project, so I’m doing it here and showing them off to my coworkers tomorrow. They don’t care where I work, you know.” 

“Congratulations to your workplace for being flexible or whatever,” Junwen retorted sarcastically. “You ate all my backup ramen.” He took off his shoes, putting them neatly into the shoe rack before he walked into the apartment, dropping his jacket onto the hanger hammered into the wall next to the TV. Yangshui’s eyes followed Junwen all the way to the kitchen, where he poured himself a cup of hot water, dropping a few dried rosebuds into it. An amber color slowly spread through the water as Junwen turned away from it, and Yangshui’s eyes followed. 

Junwen popped his head out of the kitchen, “You know you can’t just avoid Kyungho forever, right? He’s still part of the friend group, Yangshui.”  

Yangshui tipped his head up backward, turning the world upside down. He smiled lazily, “But I won’t get over him if I keep seeing him, Junwen~” Junwen’s scowl was disbelieving and half-hearted, and Yangshui knew his argument didn’t quite hold up considering he had (somehow) gotten over his crush on Xiao Wunian, despite seeing him in electives nearly every day of the week. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” Then again, school breaks helped, so in Yangshui’s head, the Xiao Wunian argument was flawed. 

Plus, to add to Yangshui’s ego, they weren’t in school anymore, and Kyungho worked in the same company Yangshui did, and therefore, it was really quite unfortunate.

“Shameless,” Junwen scoffed, but he didn’t kick Yangshui out of his apartment.

Yangshui laughed lazily, “Love you too, Junwen,” and went back to messing with his floor plans at the expense of Junwen’s electricity bills. 

Junwen began piecing together something suspicious when Yangshui started clinging to him instead. 

He’d watched over Yangshui for half of his life, how did he not know what Yangshui was like- he was like this too, after the whole flower shop owner fiasco. Clinging his way through life, running to Junwen for comfort. For the most part, Junwen indulged in him; there was nothing wrong with supporting his best friend through heartbreak. 

Junwen had seen the worst of Yangshui- honestly, there were more embarrassing moments than simply falling for a guy who didn’t swing his way. It’s just-

“It’s just that Yangshui is fine being around Kyungho now, and he still clings to me like he’s not over him,” Junwen grumbled to Shaoxi, who- according to a unanimous vote in the group chat (the one with Kyungho in it this time)- was pretty much the cupid of the group. Yangshui should have been asking Shaoxi for advice, but no, he bothered Junwen, who’d been single and happy about it all his life. 

I mean, seeing all the romance troubles happening to his friends, and the messes he had to pick up, Junwen had pretty much vowed to never get into a messy relationship himself. 

“That’s probably because you indulge him too much,” Shaoxi replied, rolling her eyes. “I’ve known you my whole life, and Yangshui is the one acting like you two are joined at the hip.”

“You have Soonyoung, don’t you?”

“Not the same, Junwen. The point is, have you considered that maybe Yangshui is planning something?” Shaoxi retorted, pointing her newly manicured nails at him. “Any anniversaries, birthdays?” 

Junwen looked at his calendar for anything he had forgotten about. Shaoxi had once programmed everything relevant into his calendar to repeat for the next infinite cycle of forever so that Junwen didn’t end up somehow forgetting something simple like one of their birthdays.

“Nothing that you’ve put into my phone, at least,” Junwen said, holding up the screen of his phone for Shaoxi to see. 

“Then don’t ask me,” Shaoxi shrugged her shoulders. “Out of everyone, you know Yangshui best.”

“Helpful,” Junwen muttered. Shaoxi scoffed at his ungratefulness, taking a bite out of her sandwich as Junwen put his phone away again. 

“But it’s good, right? Yangshui no longer likes straight boy Kyungho,” Shaoxi said, waving her hands around lazily. “Clinging to his best friend seems like a better option than long-distance pining after a guy that can’t return your feelings, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, well, it’s just not very Yangshui of Yangshui, you know?” Junwen waved his hands in the same sort of way Shaoxi had. “Dependence is not a good thing.”

“And there goes your psychology degree, rearing its ugly head,” Shaoxi observed.

Junwen was observant of everyone around him, he was good with everyone- everyone except himself. Apparently, if anything vaguely interesting was happening to him- he would be as clueless as Soonyoung was of just about everything. 

Maybe that wasn’t the fairest comparison, but Junwen wasn’t much of a poet or a writer. 

Case in point: Junwen hadn’t been expecting Yangshui to kiss him. 

He had been in the kitchen, cooking food for the person acting as a parasite in his apartment. Yangshui had become a permanent guest in his home, taking over the coffee shop with his plans of dominating the sky with his building sketches and floor plans. Junwen vacuumed up more eraser bits than he had in his entire six-year college career with Yangshui around.

“Junwen, which one of these looks better?” Yangshui walked into the kitchen, holding up an IPad of two solidified floor plans. He handed the tablet to an unsuspecting Junwen, who focused a little more than the screen in front of him, rather than the man staring at him as if committing his features to memory.

“It’s that gaming company renovation you’re working on, right? I think the first one suits them better, it-” as Junwen glanced back up to explain his thoughts, Yangshui was leaning in, his hands cradling the undersides of Junwen’s jawline like a pool of water, afraid that he would slip through his fingers. 

And then he was being kissed- gently at first and when Junwen made no move to pull away, Yangshui became bolder.

It didn’t make sense for a few seconds, the shattered stained glass of Yangshui’s massive crush on Kyungho didn’t result in Yangshui kissing him. Yangshui didn’t like boys like Junwen, the kind of men who were quiet and living in their heads. He was supposed to like loud boys, who could match his excitement for everything, even the snark in his voice.

The flaw was just that: “supposed to”. 

And then suddenly everything he’d ignored crash back down to him, and Junwen wondered if Yangshui’s so-called crush on Kyungho was a self-destructive function or a silent confession of his feelings or both because Junwen was right, in some odd, twisted way: Yangshui didn’t technically like Kyungho; at least, not in the way he had once like the nameless flower hop owner or Xiao Wunian- because the person he was reaching for was him all along.

When Yangshui pulled away, Junwen was buzzing like he’d made the biggest scientific discovery of all time. 

“Why?” Junwen whispered. “You could’ve just- said something.”

There was a pause, and then, “Because I didn’t believe it myself-you know me best, Junwen. I think we already established I had a type, so I tried to avoid it. It didn’t work, I need better advice.”

Junwen flicked Yangshui’s cheek with his fingers, “I thought we both knew I have no right to give advice, seeing as I’ve been single for years. It’s your fault for asking me, of all people.”

Yangshui’s familiar, mischievous grin lit up his face, “Whatever. I listened to your advice and it worked out didn’t it? I’ve always had faith in your input.”

And then he was kissing Junwen again.