A Rose By Any Other Name

The desk had become a labyrinth of letters and papers.

Piling strewn papers into misshapen stacks, Roslyn shoved her homework into her bag. Yawning and methodically bolting her locker shut, Roslyn squinted out of the window to see the bright blazing sun. Returning her attention to her books, she grimaced at the most overrated play of all time, chucking the book into her bag. Honestly, the whole Romeo and Juliet tragedy thing could easily have been avoided if the messenger had gotten there on time. Sleep pulled at her eyelids, as another yawn rippled through her; to say she was tired was an understatement. Although Roslyn supposed that she should have expected as much when she agreed to human school during the school year, alchemy lessons at night, and summer classes at Quadrivium. Sleep was boycotting her at this point. Glancing at the clock; it was already four o’clock. Lovely, a mountain of homework and an eternity between her and sleep, maybe she should not have stayed up reading till three that morning?

The drive home was a complete blur because Roslyn fell asleep as usual. Boris, her neighbor across the street and best friend had picked her up from school and dropped her home, as per their agreement, which entailed Roslyn bringing him an extra lunch, and him dropping her home from school. Walking up her driveway, Roslyn saw the trees sway in the warm breeze of the afternoon, the sun painting the sky varying shades of mauve and lilac. Fishing her house keys out of her bag, the little crimson maple leaf keychain dangled as she unlocked the front door. Closing the door behind her, she looked at the clock, it was about five-ish which meant that her parents would not be home for another hour, and her brothers for at least another two. Hallelujah, she was home alone, which meant that she had time for a nap! Kicking off her shoes off, Roslyn noticed that the house smelt faintly of chamomile as she walked to the living room, flinging her book bag on to the armchair, when she heard a yowl.

Roslyn nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the startling noise. Whipping her head towards the noise, she was met with the sight of a half-awake Li. Li? What was he doing here?

“OW! Ros, what do you have in that bag? Rocks?” His voice was thick with sleep, and that’s when memory hit Roslyn smack in the face. That morning on the way to school, her mother did mention that Li was coming to visit; however Roslyn had assumed she meant later that night. When did he get a key to the house?

Roslyn stifled a laugh; she had known Li for as long as she could remember. He was older than her, and would often hang around with her older brothers, although in the past few years he had begun to linger around her more. Even now, when she was a newly minted-seventeen-year-old, and him on the verge of being nineteen, they were still for the most part the same. Fighting a blush, Roslyn remembered the last time she saw him. It was last summer, he had asked her out on a date as joke, and Roslyn being the most oblivious person on earth believed him. At first, she was mad that he would ask her out, only to stand her up like that, but under further examination it was she who was the fool. How stupid she thought, to have entertained the thought that he could ever like her; but that was months ago and for the most part she had forgotten that she showed up at the beach alone. So hopefully he too had forgotten.

Li stretched as he tumbled off the armchair, his delicate almond shaped eyes always made him seem kind, however in the months since she had last seen him his jaw had become more defined, and his shoulders more squared. In the dim light of the evening, she saw that a new scar adorned his left palm. Rolling off the couch, Roslyn took in Li’s new considerable height as he stretched his arms above his head, “My flight got in early, so your dad said I could pick the locks. Don’t worry, your neighbors didn’t see me.”

Roslyn’s jaw nearly fell open, “You picked the locks?”

“What? Like it’s hard,” Li threw back the words with confidence, a smirk gracing his lips.

“How do you walk through doors with that enormous ego of yours and not cause structural damage,” Roslyn flung back, pink defiantly tinged her cheeks, but in the gloomy light of the living room she hoped he would not notice. Sighing, she had forgotten how much she liked talking to Li.

“What are they teaching children these days!” Li mused playfully. Towering above her he playfully gestured to her bookbag and then at her oversized baggy uniform, “Is that what they make you wear―”

With a retort loaded on her tongue, Roslyn was about to respond when a blaring ring sounded. Looking around for the source Roslyn saw Li dig around in his pewter green duffle bag, pulling out a weather-beaten phone.

Pointing a finger at her, he mouthed, we are not done here as he walked into the kitchen to take the call.

Looking around the room Roslyn was about to take her stuff upstairs when something shiny snagged her gaze. In the corner of her eye Roslyn saw something that resembled a blade sticking out of Li’s bag. Curious Roslyn checked to make sure that Li was nowhere in sight, before she reached towards the bag. Unzipping the bag Roslyn saw a flash of white, as a faint snarl ripped through the air.

Sharp teeth locked around her wrist, as fire laced through her veins; what the hell did Li have in his bag! Snapping her eyes open Roslyn looked up to see a small creature gnawing at her. Dark blood dripped down her forearm and onto Roslyn’s face, pooling on the cold tiles beneath her.

A scream erupted from her lips, “Li!” Roslyn shouted, as she grappled with the creature, failing horribly as its rows of teeth dug deeper into her, “Li!” she repeated. The creature’s eyes bulged out of its face, milky white eyes contrasting deeply against its leathery skin. What was this thing?

Then, not a moment too soon, Roslyn felt the pressure around her wrist release as Li expertly unhinged its jaw. Stars began to dance around the room as the corners of her vision became blurry. Damn it, Roslyn loathed passing out, at least she was already home, and on the floor, she thought as her eyelids grew heavy with a mix of sleep and something else Roslyn couldn’t name.

An uncomfortable heat wrapped itself around Roslyn as a black haze shimmered into existence. Shadows wriggled and writhed to unveil a beach bathed in bright moonlight. Blink. She saw a young couple walking along the shore, hand in hand. Blink. The woman’s long hair cascaded down her back in a river of ink. Blink. The man’s scarred hands cupped her face like she was made of the finest porcelain. Blink. A jagged scar adorned his left palm, the hint of chamomile wafted through the air as a gentle breeze blew the woman’s hair back to reveal her face. Blink. Her face, it was her face. Blink. Roslyn’s heart stopped as she saw herself. Blink. The man leaned down towards her, and Roslyn felt her heart leap out of her chest, because the man was Li. Blink. Rough lips met hers in a moment of shock, the two smiled like fools in the dark. Blink. He then kissed her forehead mumbling, “I would burn the world down for you, you know.” Blink. Breaking their contact she murmured, “I am not―,” her hands curling into fists that Li took in his. Blink. He kissed her bloodied bruised knuckles, “You will always be worth saving,” Li whispered softly into her ear. Blink. Roslyn stared blankly at Li; the world melted into black. Blink. Shadows spit Roslyn back into consciousness as heat flared up her arm once more. Pain ripped her eyelids open as Roslyn’s eyes found Li’s. A thought slammed against her mind in waves, what in heaven’s name did she just see!

Blinking the stars in her vision away, Roslyn saw that he was hovering above her with a dishtowel wrapped around her wrist. It was soaked with blood, but she didn’t care as she let the words fly out of her mouth, “What was that?!”

Relief washed over Li’s features, “Oh thank goodness you’re awake,” his shoulders sagged noticeably, “it was a beast of bewilderment, the pest must have smuggled itself into my bags before I left,” he glanced at the wet towel, “I dispatched the creature while you were unconscious. Do you think you can stand?”

Roslyn nodded, not trusting her voice as she let him take her hand. Walking into the kitchen Roslyn sat by the dining table holding the towel to her forearm, unsure of what to do. Should she ask Li about what she saw?

“How do you feel?” Li asked, crouching down before her, gingerly taking her maimed wrist in his hands.

Roslyn then felt an unexpected rush of heat in her face when she felt his cool skin against her, “Like someone threw me in a washing machine of fire,” she managed to drawl out, “how long was I out for?”

“Half an hour, which means that you should be fine. It was a young beast, which means its poisons haven’t even come in yet,” Li answered, lifting the dish cloth to see that the blood had stopped, “the creature’s venom eats away at memories and magic so―”

“Do they show their victim’s visions?” Roslyn interjected. She needed to know if the vision was a falsehood or not, “like can it make people hallucinate?”

Reaching into one of the cupboards, Li pulled out a first aid kit and began to clean the wound, “No, quite the opposite really, their venom is used to help patients with amnesia because they help reveal memories, why?” Li’s eyebrows knitted together, “what did you remember?”

 Roslyn was silent for several long minutes as she weighed her options. Tell Li about the insane vision that she just saw or lie? Humm. He was as good as family up until that hallucination. “We were on a beach, and I remembered kissing you,” she spluttered out. “Why do I remember kissing you Li!” Roslyn’s face burned with embarrassment, but she held Li’s gaze with an iron fist, spluttering on. “If that beast’s venom is supposed to reveal memories, then why did it show you kissing me? I would have remembered that very large detail!” Roslyn’s voice was pitching an octave higher with every second.

That is when Roslyn saw the terror in Li’s face, he knew something.

“Li! What happened! Was that real?” Panic and anger rose in Roslyn’s throat, were these memories or hallucination?

“Yes.” His words rang loud in the cavernous quiet. The blood drained from his face as he took a seat to her left. Methodically packing away the bandages and bloodied cotton, Li tightened the bandages around Roslyn’s wrist, “it was a memory. It was real.”

Roslyn felt her lungs struggle to breath.

“Explain,” that was the only word she could manage, as she gulped down desperate breaths. The world was shifting as she knew it, and she had not the slightest clue what to do. Roslyn risked another shaky sentence, “Explain to me what just happened, and why I remember kissing you? Now!” She demanded, on the verge of tears in a voice too small to be menacing, but when she locked eyes with Li, Roslyn saw her own despair reflected back at her.

Li then explain the whole awful tale to her. Each sentence unraveled itself to reveal a bomb of information. Wave after wave, the details kept coming. She didn’t know if it was the dissipating effects of the creature’s toxins or her own mind that was making her feel sick. The ground shifted and swayed around her as she fought to focus. Roslyn began to hear a ringing in her ears because Li never stood her up at the beach. He went with her to the beach at midnight. He had confessed his love for her, kissed her on the beach for Gods’ sakes, and not moments later she had disappeared into thin air right before his eyes, for months. The whole summer if she was not mistaken. How did she forget three months of her life?

Reaching out for his hand, Roslyn held it as she bit back her tears, “But I remembered you this afternoon. Why? How?”

“Your parents took you to The Council of Dreams to try and get back your memories, but they could only restore pieces,” Li squeezed Roslyn’s hand with a tinge of hope in his tone, “they said that you took away your own memories.”

What? Why would she do such a thing? If they were really in love, why would she leave? If she really did love Li, why would she erase him from her memories? There must have been a reason. Something must have happened. A piece of this story was missing.

“Ros, I spent months looking for you and― when I found you it was like I lost you all over again in the same moment,” Li ended, releasing her hand, and then to Roslyn’s shock, Li reached a hand towards her cheek, “but you remember now. Ros you remember now, don’t you see, this is great, we can just pick up where we left off and―”

Flinching away Roslyn shot up, almost knocking over her chain, “No, stop!,” moving towards the doorway she held out an arm barring Li from coming any closer, “you’re a completely different person to me now.” Tears began to run down Roslyn’s face.

Striding towards her in long graceful strides Li held her hand to his chest, “Can we please just talk this out?”

“No!” Roslyn whispered, her words shattered the silence that threatened to crush her, “there’s no coming back from this. I might not know why I erased you from my memories, but I do know that there must have been a reason.” Her voice shock with the effort it took to not tackle him to the floor.

“Roslyn, please, this changes nothing, I’ve kept my distance hoping that the memories would come back and now they have. Ros over these past few months I’ve missed sitting with you. Walking to class with you. Talking with you. Singing with you. Competing with you. Fighting with you. Laughing with you. Sure, I’ve missed having you in my arms, but I’ve missed having you as my friend even more. Please, you are still you, and I am still me. If we fell in love once, we could again, please don’t go,” Li was begging now.

Tearing her hand away from his Roslyn glared at him through silver lined eyes, “You’re wrong,” then turning away from him she grabbed her school bag ascending the staircase towards her bedroom. Turning around one last time she saw Li standing the bottom, staring at her longingly. Her stomach turned at the sight of him. Unease twisted itself in her chest. Her mind felt foggy.  “This changes everything,” Roslyn seethed, leaving the words in her wake, she slammed her bedroom door, locking the world out.

That night, tangled in the sheets Roslyn lay awake in her bed, sleep evading her once more. Even hours later, Roslyn’s heart was still reeling. She traced the outline of her the scar on her palm. Her mind had become a labyrinth of shattered realities and broken truths, and in the twilight of memory, a single question echoing in her mind.

Why?