Manure City

The whole country was virtually turning into latrine. Waste garbage everywhere and it’s evident that the authorities have been overwhelmed by them.

Then came this young military guys that took over power, they came with this declaration that last Saturday of each month must be made a clean up day.

 “Everyone must stay in their houses to clean all places from inside your houses to the whole compound and each state and local government authorities must enforce this declaration and any offender is liable for fine or imprisonment” 

But bro, you couldn’t believe that most people took offense to that order. These people are really funny creatures I tell you. They refused to be clean, resent any attempt from anyone to make them clean. Shit. It was as if the whole country have turned into pig and extrovert one for that. This cleaning exercise was intended to last for three hours only, from 8 to 11 am but most people see it as 30 hours imprisonment. Most decided without any reasons to violate that simply order. Humans can be so funny at times bro. They felt sooo disturbed that you would think that they were asked to clean the whole country and not their bases. It’s just their base and nothing more. 

Big men in their self contained houses should clean that their bases only and those in public housing estates or where ever it’s you are living are to join forces together to clean that place alone and nothing more. But just like that famous proverb about public goat that usually die of hunger, the public housing dweller found it difficult to organize themselves to clean their bases. This flat would be waiting for the other flat to be the first to come out to start cleaning and the other would be doing the same timing nonsense and at end of the day, none would come out and their base remains the same. dirty. 

Maybe you are wondering why the need. There is multitude of reasons and needs for that bro if you have been to this my city or any other city in this country then. Those from Western world might organized their lives to the level of dust bin, over here bro, our organizing starts and ends in our families, offices let alone dust bin level. Public one for that matter. It’s to your tent oh Israel kind of selfish living. You see why things are as it was then until that regime came with cane. 

Shit. You needed to take a walk as a visitor around the city to witness all the reasons behind that declaration. Waste garbage were competing for space and attention with everything both humans and cars. It was terrible sight then. In fact, it turned into tourist attraction for few foreigners living among us like one Mr. jero from South Africa. 

I was walking home one Thursday evening when I saw one white man snapping and recording one two storey heap of garbage near the city popular market that elicited a hell of laughter from passersby even those in buses were laughing their heads off. So I approached to know what was going on. There was this white guy who said he came from South Africa snapping and recording. That face, I have seen somewhere before in more than two occasions but can’t place him then. 

This Mr. Jero must have seen what he was recording as wonder. What number of wonder that heap was in his Guinness books of records, I don’t know. But the guy was busy really busy snapping and recording.

I was from the mini market near the popular market there when I saw the guy at work. So, I approached to know what it was with the white guy.

 “ Excuse me Mister, are you surveying something?”

He turned and eyed me for a minute maybe concluded that I am sound enough to warrant talking to.

“ Surveying something?—No, I am recording something. No needs for survey. The whole mess surveyed itself. I couldn’t believe what am seeing here. How can something like this be possible in a nation like Nigeria?” 

“And you are who?, and what is possible here in Nigeria?”

After another round of scrutiny from him, he continued.

“ you mean this heap here that is almost three storey building is not an eyesore to you? – it have taken 60 Percent of the road and have totally blocked the drainage at the other side. Polluting the air so bad that you can’t stand for five minutes here without covering your nose and still be healthy”

“ Aah!, You said you are Mr. Jero. Maybe you are new to the city. This one here is minor one. The one at the phase two is almost the same height as skyscraper. But Mr. Jero, what are you planning to do with the pictures, this government doesn’t listen to anyone that come talking money. The governor said that the federal allocation is for paying salaries not carrying anyone’s shit like he put it”

“Salaries?—this is crazy. What is the need? You receive salary, you spend 30 percent on hospital bill, transport and feeding. Don’t they know that this heap here is causing excessive increase in prices of everything? Shortening people’s lives until they won’t have anyone to pay that salary to or even be alive themselves to receive allocation”

“Aah!, Mr. Jero, abeg, no talk that one to their hearing oh. They no wan hear death and no allocations. But, how is garbage contributing to price increase Mr. Jero”

“When am through with what I have in mind, you would know the answers to that your economic questions. Which phase do you say has something as big as this?”

“Phase two Mr. Jero. This one here is a baby to the adult you would see there near shell petrol station” 

Next day around 8:30am, Mr. Jero, armed with his camera and other equipments arrived at the other garbage heap and was surprised to see people moving in all directions unconcerned. After first observing the people wondering what only heaven can tell and shaking his head in amazement, he had no problem locating this heap. He had just followed the leading of his nose to the place in record time from miles away. 

He placed his bag down not far from the heap, his presence have attracted the curiosity of most passersby who as usual have started gathering to know what the white guy was up to. He brought out the camera, fixed the lenses, adjusted his masks and started snapping and recording. Moving from one end to the other, from one angle to another to the chagrin of the increasing crowd. 

He was lost in his snapping and recording and moving from one end to the other when a man dressed in carton colored coat cleared a part through the crowd and approached the white guy. 

“ Excuse me please. I am Mr. Okoro from Adiri local government Secretariat. We were told that you’re here recording things. Could you please tell me who you are and what is going on”

“ I have been living in this city now for two weeks. I work here too. Do you say you’re from the local government, is this heap here under your jurisdiction?”

“I just introduced myself to you and asked who you are and reasons for your actions and am yet to receive answers”

“you wants to know who I am and reasons for my actions. Tell me first why you are wearing that mask. Were you wearing it in your office when whoever you said informed you came to tell you about me?”

“ that’s is not the issue, the issue is who you’re and how our headache suddenly turns to yours”

“Your headache? – you mean this skyscraper here is your headache and it pilled up to this level and still rising, yet, you looked so healthy as am seeing now?”

“ mister, I can’t believe we are arguing over this. The request is simple. Your name and your mission only”

“I can’t believe we’re even arguing at all over this anomaly. You claimed it is your headache and you have done nothing about it to the extent it got to what am seeing here?”

Bro, that exchange continued in that fashion for almost another 30 minutes. When Mr. Jero ignored the man and turned back to his snapping and recording to the applaud of the crowd, the local government man decided it was time to retreat and render situational report to his boss.