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Fiction Funny

The chill of the night air helps one relax as they peer out into the lush starry sky. Resting on the marble ledge – no drinks needed, just a whiff of the air quenches thirst. Dan smiles as he listens to the jubilation of his family behind him. A hand reaches out and touches his back – a familiar feeling he knows well.


"Dear, you good?", he hears the sweet voice of his wife ask. His smile grows brighter as he replies, "Never better". She leans against the marble making sure to touch his shoulder as she takes a sip. A picture-esque scene is the thought that crosses the minds of those who look on.


Melinda takes another sip and smiles. "You know this reminds me of high school Dear", Dan is silent – Melinda glances at him cheekily. "Coming here wasn't random… was it?", she suggests – "Whatever do you mean? I just picked a place at random". Pinching his cheek Melinda says, "Liar" jokingly.


They both start giggling as Francine calls out to them, "Mom". Sighing they knock their glasses together and head back in from the terrace.


To say the night was still young, would be an understatement. Dede longed for her mother's embrace and fought to leave Francine's arms. Bobbily sat quietly upset – this outing had interrupted his plans for that evening. Though looking around he saw some possibility for enjoyment.


Dan and Melinda return to their seats and Dede scampers out of Francine's arms into the outstretched hands of her mother. Melinda sets Dede on her lap – Dede smiles with happy curiosity at her mother.


The clamor in the room is music to Dan as he reminisces. 

.

“Ahem, ahem. We award this prize to Dan Lanford, an outstanding student we wish you all to aspire to become”, applauding erupts. An embarrassed Dan heads to the podium and accepts his award. The students in unison shout, “Speech, speech, speech”, hesitantly Dan grabs the mic, and again applauding erupts.


“A-a-ah what do I say?... I am thankful for this recognition-”

.

Melinda's voice calls him back to the present, “Dan honey. Dan honey?”. “Sorry, sweetheart. I was lost in thought”, he says with a smile. Melinda holds Dede out in front of him. He grabs her and smothers her in his arms as she laughs and claps. Bobby and Francine watch each other and smile.


As Dan plays with Dede the master of ceremonies announces the person whom everyone has gathered to acknowledge in the hall this night.


“Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to recognize Mr. Dan Lanford a devoted father who graces this company with his dedication and exceptional leadership. We appreciate the love and care he extends to us as if we are his family and that love we hope to return some of it here tonight”, the hall fills with applause as Dan is called to accept his award and give a short speech.


Dan gives Melinda Dede as he fixes himself slightly and heads to the stage. Melinda is brimming with a smile that warms the air around her. She remembers that night.

.

“Mel, where're you going?”

“Anyway but here Jan.”

“What… Why?”

“I just overheard them.”

“Them? You mean Chrisy-”

“Yeah, apparent me winning was just a ploy-”

“A ploy. What for?”

“Come on Jan. You know they love to tease me…”

“Sorry…”

“....”

.

I am thankful for this recognition to be able to accept such an award is-

.

“Who is that?”

“It’s Dan, Mel.”

“I guess he won.”

“Come on Mel, … you like him don’t you?”

“So, what?”

“Then, why not stay and listen.”

“He’s the same as them anyway, so why bother.”

“Mel-”

.

You know, as I heard my name called I can’t help but think of my fellow students, who also in my opinion are deserving of this award as well.


“Mom-mom?” Francine calls trying to get Melinda's attention.

“Hmm, Francine… What’s the matter?”

“Focus mom, dad’s about to give his speech.”

“Haha, right, right. Dede look at daddy.”


Dan shakes hands with his manager and looks out into the crowd as he prepares to speak.


“Ahem, you know I chose this place for this event and not knowing I was the one who it was for.”


The crowd laughs.


“Funny right? You got to laugh with bosses like these. Getting me to plan my own award event, saying that it’s a celebration so bring the family. I see many kids here with us tonight and yes. You wish you were elsewhere, why hang with us old folk. My son sure has such thoughts crossing his mind…”, the room glances at Bobby who tries to hide as he blushes. “But you know, we, your parents, cherish you all and are thankful to be able to share such moments with you… This award is a lovely gesture that I think is lost on me. If not for many of my fellow coworkers this company wouldn’t be the place it is and wouldn’t have inspired me and others to excel, to bring us all to higher highs. I thank you for this lovely gesture and I hope to be able to award one of you all with such a gesture in the future. Thank you.”


A standing ovation is given as the people in the room stand to their feet. Dan humbly bows and returns to his seat. Melinda, Francine, and Bobby are wearing prideful smiles and Dede is just a light with laughter signaling for her father to take hold of her.


The night closes and the family heads home. In the car, as they head back Francine recalls that the people who ran the hall seemed to know her father and mother.


“Mom…”

“Hmm.”

“... Have you been to the been to Macathy’s Hall before?”

Dan and Melinda watch each other. “Yes, we have dear. Is something the matter.?”

“No”, after some thought Francine continues, “When were you there?”

“It was a long time ago.”


“Yep, a long time.”

“How ago was it Dad?”Bobby asks.

“We were… in high school if I remember correctly.”


“Mom, were you and dad dating?”

“No, Fran… though that night changed that.”


Bobby sits up, eager to hear this tale. “How, what happened?”

“No need to get that excited Bobby.”

“But dad-”

“There was nothing special, okay.”


Melinda laughs. “Sure, nothing special dear.”

“Come on, mom what happened.”

“Fran, be careful not to wait Dede.”

“Oh, oh right”, Francine adjusts her position slightly.


“So what happened?”, Bobby asks, flushed with curiosity. In between laughing Melinda comments, “Your dad exposed himself”. Francine and Bobby are stunned and watch their father in disbelief. Dan is red with embarrassment as Melinda tries to settle herself.

“Mom-mom, what happened?” Francine and Bobby inquire, their eyes glimmering with anticipation. Dan sighs and glances at Melinda who has her hand over her mouth as she tries to stop laughing again. “Tell them if you want. It’s nothing that special”.


Francine adds, “Now we have to know”.

“Yeah, I know right”, Bobby also adds.


“Alright, alright… let’s see. Your dad was receiving an award like tonight. He was the most outstanding teen for the year. In the middle of his speech, he moves from behind the podium while taking the mic and says…

.

“We at times as students do not care about our fellow students as much as we should. Going to lengths to embarrass them for our own amusement… Even tonight I learnt of such a ploy to embarrass someone. Well if one must be embarrassed then I'll embarrass myself for your amusement (unbutton pants).”

.

… it was hilarious as your fathers' pants dropped exposing… exposing… hahahaha”.

“Exposing what mom-exposing what?”Bobby and Francine ask bursting to know.

“Sorry, sorry your father, haha, your father-your father had on a teddy bear boxer. Hahahahaha.”

Their mouths agasp, “No way… Dad?”


Dan glances back and forth, clearly even redder than before. At his silence Francine and Bobby burst into laughter as well, waking Dede in the process. Melinda motions for them to pass Dede to her. Dede smiles and laughs not knowing why but elated by the surrounding joy.


They arrive home much to the relief of Dan. Still laughing as they enter their home, Bobby and Francine head off to bed as Melinda woes Dede back to sleep. Dan gets in bed as Melinda finally lays Dede down in her crib.


“Dan…”

“Hmm”

“Thank you”

“For what?” Dan asked puzzled.


Melinda smiles and kisses his cheek. “You know full well for what”. Still puzzled, “No I don’t”. Melinda shakes her head and chuckles. “Your speech back in high school… about the student who was supposed to be embarrassed that night… You probably think I don’t know… that I’m that student”. Bewildered Dan stays silent a moment then replies, “Jan told you didn’t she?”. Melinda smiles as she turns the lamp off and kisses Dan again.


“Dan honey.”

“Hmm…”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Dear.”

March 10, 2023 14:55

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3 comments

Wendy Kaminski
17:27 Mar 10, 2023

Thank goodness for teddy bear boxers, lol: I was nearly covering my eyes, waiting to find out how, exactly, he had exposed himself! ;)

Reply

Keith Maynard Jr
17:58 Mar 10, 2023

Lol, I wasn't going to go that far now -- he was in high school after all. Don't want him to get expelled.

Reply

Wendy Kaminski
17:59 Mar 10, 2023

haha :)

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