Warning: Murder and blood in story.
She stepped off the ride dizzy, her vision blurry.
Her friend Adria laughed. "That was fun Kiara, we should do it again!" "No way," Kiara said. "I'm saving my tickets for the best part, not wasting them on the same rides." "And what is that?" Adria teased, "Cotton Candy?" "No." Kiara responded.
But she never told her friend the surprise.
***
Later, they went on the Ferris Wheel.
"Kiara," Adria said, "Would you mind telling me what this thing is you're waiting for?" Kiara smiled. "I was hoping you'd ask that. Let's see... There is a building at the back of the fairgrounds, it's new. Not many people know about it but I found out about it online. It is called Ultimate Fun and it is a mix of a whole bunch of different things you can find at carnivals. When you walk inside the Ultimate Fun building you immediately start the fun."
"There are animals, carnival games, and rides inside the building! There is a bouncy castle, a restaurant, and a candy shop. To enter the Ultimate Fun building it only costs you 5 tickets - and everything inside is free! The only catch is that you only get an hour inside. Now do you see what I'm saving my tickets for? I want to go for multiple hours!"
Adria stared at her in shock, her eyes wide. "No way!" She said, "Is this a trick?" "No," Kiara responded. "It's real" "Are you girls talking about Ultimate Fun?" A man said from the cart beside them. "Yes!" Adria said, "You've heard of it?" "I certainly have." said the man. "Do you know where it is?" "No," Kiara said. "But we know it's somewhere at the back of the carnival, could you take us to it?" "Of course," the man said. "I know exactly where it is, I can even guide you there." "Thank you so much Sir!" Kiara said, remembering her manners. "We appreciate it." "You're very welcome." the man said. "And you can call me Adam."
"Looks like our time on the Ferris Wheel is almost over." Adria remarked, noticing that they were close to the bottom. "Can we meet you at that carnival game, Adam?" She asked, pointing to the Apple Bob carnival game. "Sure." Adam responded.
And by then the ride was over.
***
Kiara and Adria followed Adam through the crowds. Then Adam led them through a field of flowers, heading far away from the carnival. "Are you sure he's leading us the right way?" Adria whispered to Kiara. "I don't even think we're at the carnival anymore, we should at least see the Ultimate Fun building by now." "Trust Adam," Kiara whispered. "He's been here before." "Girls," Adam said "We're almost there."
But something wasn't right to Adria.
The girls watched in shock as Adam pulled out a knife and laughed.
"Run!" Kiara screamed, her voice in her throat.
The girls sprinted back through the field, but Adam was faster. He ran after the girls and launched the knife at Kiara.
"No!" Adria screamed and pushed her friend out of the way.
Adria tried to get out of the knife's path too but she wasn't quick enough. The knife hit her heart and she fell to the ground, her blood splattering Kiara.
Adam ran away gleefully, ignoring Kiara's cries. Kiara sat there holding Adria's hand and watched her friend speak her last words: I did this for you, Kiara.
And that was the last time she ever saw her friend.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
8 comments
That had my heart going fast at the end. Wow.
Reply
Thank you so much!
Reply
Great story, an excellent start to your profile on Reedsy.
Reply
Thanks so much!
Reply
I love this story, too. I love the friendship between the two MC. The ending is extremely sad, but also sooo sweet at the same time. You also did a great job keeping up the suspense at the end. Critiques: -I would recommend starting a new paragraph each time a character speaks. It makes the story flow better. Hereβs an example: Adria stared at her in shock, her eyes wide. "No way!" She said, "Is this a trick?" "No," Kiara responded. "It's real.β "Are you girls talking about Ultimate Fun?" A man said from the cart beside them. "Yes!" Adri...
Reply
Thank you so much for the feedback, I like hearing it!
Reply
Oh my gosh, the suspense! Good job for your first time!
Reply
Thanks you!
Reply