7 likes
3 comments
On a quiet sunny day on the coast of Alexandria, on the ship surface of the pirate ship, Peter ran to Captain Philip's room and said:
"There is something you should see now."
Captain Philip came behind him until he got on board and stood on the bow of the ship, and saw the coast of Alexandria after months at sea and searching for treasure.
Captain Philip walked into his room and began to present the plans and maps.
"When we arrive, we will search for the city of Heracleion, as it is most likely located there."
Peter said, "We will need someone from Alexandria."
Captain Philip ordered the ship to the coast, led by Peter, to obtain one of the natives of Alexandria.
When Philip and some of the men reached the coast, they were wearing pirate uniforms, the women fled from them, the children ran, and some of the men gathered together and stood in front of them, until Peter approached his men and ordered him to stop and said, "We did not come to harm anyone, we just want someone to be our guide on our trip, We got lost no more. "
One of the fishermen who was on his boat on the coast, was Brown and weak came forward, "Hey ... My name is Abdi ... and I can be your guide ... just get away from the shore ..."
Philip answered the call and returned to the boat, where he said to Abdi, "We want you to meet the captain ..."
Abdi told them he would not be able to leave, but Philip was more cautious. "This is better for everyone, Abdi ... We don't want to take dangerous actions."
After short time, Abdi and Philip got on board the ship, and they went to the captain's room, where he received Abdi and sat him down. So, Abdi, you are from Alexandria, are not you? Said phillip.
"That's right," said Abdi, looking at the men around him and Philip. "That's right," said Philip wearing his hat, "I am the captain Philip ... a pirate who spent a lot of time searching for the treasure of Heracleion ... you will help me find it ... Come on young man, let's write history together."
"I won't be able to help you find the location of the city of Heracleion," said Abdi, shivering.
The captain looked at him fiercely and before threatening him, Abdi hurried and said, “But I can tell you where the man that can help you ..” The captain smiled and told him that in the dark of night they will go together to this man, and at night Abdi moved with Captain Philip and his assistant Peter and some of the men in Three boats went ashore, took a short way that no one could recognize, armed with their weapons in case anything happen, until they reached a old house on a side street. Abdi came up and knocked on the door and said to Captain Philip "This The old man ... he knows everything about that city, he always talks to young children about the history of this city, I think he can help you find the city of Heracleion"
The old man opened the door and smiled and said, "Abdi ... why didn't you bring me the fish?"
Abdi said, "I'm sorry, old man ... Can you host some men to talk to you for a little while ..."
The old man let them in, and when everyone appeared by the candlelight, the old man sat and before the captain began to speak he said, "I know who you are .. I am not that old man.. I can somehow know the thieves."
Anger appeared on Captain Philip's face and before he got even more upset, the old man told him, “But who am I to be angry about… I'm just an old man… Tell me, Abdi, what do your ugly friends want?”
Philip interrupted Abdi and said, "We want to know where the city of Heracleion is located ..."
The old man said, “What am I gaining from that?” Philip said, looking at his men and laughing, “Other than we will not kill you, we will give you a gift of some gold.”
The old man said, "The Treasure of Heracleion is a mythical treasure ... but it exists ... and no one knows where its place ... In the old days, the pharaoh would order his minister to obtain 10% of every ship that passes from the port of Heracleion. It was a large store of gold, silver and all goods." That was coming from the Sea of Greece. "
"Then you can show us where he is," said Philip, running out of patience.
The old man said, "Well, foolish captain, you will not be able to hold out in front of the city of Heracleion. There are ghosts guarding it, I can simply tell you where they are ... They are in Abu Qir Bay, a kilometer or two from the shore, buried underwater."
Philip got up and told his men to get Abdi, but Abdi refused and told Philip, "What do you want from me ... I have done what you asked of me ..."
Philip said, "I cannot risk your presence on ground ... I will leave you when I leave and find the treasure."
The next morning, the captain gave the order to move to Abu Qir Bay and ordered Peter to bring the best swimmers for inspect the matter, and upon arrival the bay was calm. No one stood there.
Abdi beside Philip, who was very obsessed with the legendary treasure. Two advances and dived in the bay. And when they went out, they told the captain that there was a gate guarded by two statues, a lion statue and the other a huge elephant.
He told them to go beyond the statue and know what was behind it, and he said in anger, "Go search for gold."
Peter came up and told Philip, "Captain ... the bay is very quiet, there is no one on the coast."
Philip said arrogantly, "It's true ... they know what we might do to them so they disappear."
Peter said, "I'm afraid the old man is setting us a trap."
Philip said, "Are you listening to yourself, Peter? ... you are afraid of just an old man ... you are a disgrace to the pirates."
Moments later, there was a sound of a crowd coming, but no one knew where the sound was coming from .. until a large crowd appeared, coming to the bay, firing and throwing bombs on the ship ..
The captain was Frightened and told his soldiers to hide and respond to them, while the men of Alexandria, who were head by the old man, hid near a closed market near the bay, and began to shoot, Philip gave the order to respond to them with fire, then Abdi pulled a gun from one of the men and aimed the gun at Philip's head and told him that He tells his soldiers to surrender and surrender him self.
"Is that what you really want, Abdi ...? Are you brave to do this?"
Abdi was not brave enough to shoot, he did not harm anyone all his life and His hesitation to shoot Philip in the head was enough to make him afraid, Peter shot his hand and then his foot, and he fell on the ground,
"I told you that you were not brave to do this ... Now watch me burn your city and kill all your people." Then he looked at the soldiers and told them, to get off the boats
"We will fight on the beach."
They all get off from the ship and descended the strait and the men of Alexandria began to escape to separate places, and a large group of them were hit until the old man appeared carrying his weapon and aimed it at Philip and cut off the road and said,
"You are not welcome here, you ugly pirate."
"I should have killed you, old man."
Behind the old man appeared a small group of men aiming weapons at Philip and his men.
……………………………………… ..
In the ship, Abdi resisted his wounds and looked at the sky and knew that it was the end. He was not a brave man all his life, and there are times when death is better than life.
Abdi crawled to a barrel full of fuel and pushed it on the ground several times until it fell, And he set fire to ship and the ship burned.
When the ship burned, Philip and his men were scattered and tried to come back to the ship. The old man arrested Peter while Philip tried to escape. They shot him until five bullets hit him and he died and some men were arrested. Those who tried to escape killed him.
And so was the end of Abdi in the fire, to save the people of Alexandria and the treasure of Heracleion.
.....................................................The End ..................................................
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
The flow is chunky, but that's because this isn't your native tongue. Otherwise the character portrayal was intriguing and the plot captivating. Please keep writing!!
Reply
A gentle breeze crossed Peter’s face as he watched the coast of Egypt appear on the horizon. The warm soothing air, the quiet water, and the warm sunshine couldn’t contain his excitement He barged into the Captain’s Quarters.
Abdi, watching from the coast of Alexandria as a pirate ship entered the bay of found stillness with sunshine and a pirate ship. A well-known treasure was on Captain Philip’s mind, as he sat quietly in his stateroom. First Mate Peter barged in to bring an inviting message.
“Captain,” Peter said, “Ahoy, come and see.”
The captain followed Peter to the bow to behold the Coast of Alexandria. They had been at sea for months. “The only thing on my mine, dear Peter, is gold. Treasure, gems, gold, relics. We’ll all be rich!”
“Aye, sir,” Peter said.
“When we arrive,” Philip explained, presenting his plans and maps, “we will search for the city of Heracleion. It is most likely located nearby.”
Peter said, “But sir, we will need a local guide.”
Philip dispatched the ship into the harbor, then sent a party led by Peter ashore to obtain a local native as a guide. Women and children scattered at the sight of a pirate. Men gathered both from curiosity and fear, to view the uninvited guest.
“We did not come to harm anyone,” Peter announced. “We just want someone to be our guide on our journey, since we have lost our way. We seek nothing else.”
A fisherman, dark-skinned and frail, stepped up. “Ahoy, my name is Abdi. I can be your guide, but you must move your ship out of the harbor.”
On board, Peter introduced Abdi to Captain Philip and several other men. “It is better our negotiations be conducted here,” Abdi said, “since we don’t want to accidentally make threatening gestures or start rumors.”
“You are from Alexandria, are you not?” Philip asked.
“Oh yes,” Abdi said, scanning the small group. “That is correct. I was born here. Many generations of my family have lived here.”
“I am seeking the Treasure of Heracleion. Please help me find it. Young man, let’s write history together.”
Abdi said, “I cannot help you find the location of the city of Heracleion.” In response to a threatening pose assumed by Philip, Abdi said, “But I can tell you who can help you.”
“In dark of night, we will go ashore,” Philip said, “just me, you, Peter, and these few men.”
Abdi agreed. Well after sunset, the group went ashore in three small boats, armed and ready. They reached an old house on a side street, where Abdi knocked on the door. “This old man knows everything. He teaches the children the history of Heracleion.”
The door creaked open revealing a man with heavy white beard, creased face, and gnarled hands. “Abdi!” he said. “I am so glad to see you. Did you not bring me fish?”
“I will, I promise. But could you please speak with these men?”
Philip assumed the threatening pose again.
The old man spoke, “Who am I to be angry about? I am just an old man. Tell, me, Abdi, what do your stern friends want from me?”
“We seek the city of Heracleion,” Philip said.
“What is in it for me?” the old man asked.
“We seek the Treasure of Heracleion. If you help us, we will give you a portion of the gold. If you do not, we will kill you.”
“The Treasure is a mythical one,” the calm old man said. “Perhaps it exists, but its location is not known. In the old days, the Pharaoh would order his minister to obtain ten percent of every ship’s lading that passed from the port of Heracleion to the Sea of Greece. It had become a large store of gold, silver, and precious goods.”
“Show us where this is!” Philip said.
“You will not be able to hold out in front of the City of Heracleion, foolish captain,” the old man said. “There are ghosts guarding it. I can tell you where they are. They are in the Bay of Abu Qir, just northwest of here, a mile or so from shore, buried underwater.”
Philip ordered his men to arrest Abdi. “What do you want from me?” Abdi pleaded. “I have done what you asked of me.”
“I cannot risk leaving you on shore. I will free you when I find the Treasure.”
The following morning, Philip gave the order to enter the Bay of Abu Qir. His best swimmers were summoned. The water was calm. No inhabitants were visible. Philip, even more obsessed with the treasure, watched his swimmers dive into the still water.
Several men helped the swimmers aboard to report their finding. “We found a gate guarded by two enormous statues, one lion and one elephant.
Phliip ordered, “Go beyond the statues, enter the gates, and locate the gold.”
Peter approached the Captain, “Do you not think it is ominous that there are no inhabitants visible?”
“No,” Philip said. “They know that we are a threat and have gone into hiding.”
“Are you not concerned, sir,” Peter added, “that the old man may be planning a counter-attack against us?”
“Damnation, Peter,” the Captain said, “listen to yourself. Are you afraid of a frail old man? You are a disgrace to all piracy. You should be forced to walk the plank.”
At that very moment, the sound of a crowd directed Philip’s eyes to a throng aiming firearms and launching bombs in their direction. The old man could be seen directing the force, telling them to take cover in clever positions in a closed market. They continued to shoot.
“Hide,” Philip yelled. “Prepare to defend the ship. Ready all weapons. Fire at will.”
Abdi pulled a pistol from his waist and aimed at Philip’s head.
“Is that what you want, Abdi?” Philip asked. “Do you have the courage to do this?”
“Surrender,” Abdi demanded, the weapon trembling in his hand. “Surrender your men, your ship and yourself.”
Peter shot Abdi in the hand and the foot. Abdi fell to the deck.
“Now look what you have done, Abdi,” Philip spat. “Watch me burn your city and kill off your entire community.” He turned to his men, “Go ashore. Take weapons and munitions. We will fight on the beach.”
As the invading force mobilized toward the shore, the Alexandrians quietly split into several groups, one in front, one to the left, and one to the right of Philip and his men. On the beach, the skirmish was short, as Philip was approached by the old man and a small party.
“I should have killed you, old man,” Philip said. “You have no chance against us. Do you surrender?”
“No,” the old man said. “You are not welcome here. It is you who has no chance against us!” The old man made a gesture with his left hand. Immediately, firing began from three sides of the landing party. Before any response could be mustered, the landing party scrambled to escape by a nearby road.
“You are not welcome here,” the old man repeated, aiming a pistol at Peter’s head.
Philip and his men attempted to retreat to the ship, flailing through the water to avoid the barrage of bullets and grenades.
On board, Abdi had found a barrel of kerosene. Despite his wounds, he managed to break it open. In moments, the ship was ablaze. Peter was arrested. Philip and many of his men were shot. Abdi perished, having performed a service of bravery and valor, perhaps the only one in his life, insuring the defeat of the treasure-hungry pirates.
Reply
The story idea is good, contains a goal and a conflict, protagonists and antagonists, and flows well.
The grammar and word usage is a problem, although I applaud you writing a story in a language not your native. Colloquial usage, correct punctuation and paragraph separation would help the reader flow through the story.
Keep writing.
Reply