Captain Squidbeard of the Soggy Sardine - Voyages of the Destiny's Dreams

Submitted into Contest #278 in response to: A character gets caught red-handed breaking the rules, but they refuse to admit any wrongdoing. What happens next?... view prompt

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Adventure Historical Fiction Funny

The pirate known as “Captain Steelwave” of the fishing boat the Soggy Sardine was sometimes called "Captain Squidbeard" by his crew.


He proudly wore the sprawling flame-colored cloud that floated around his head and body.


His red beard and hair had a life of their own, like a giant sea creature attacking, with curling tentacles stretching out.


A green vine from his last trek in a forest and some pieces of seaweed trailed from the masses of hair hanging down his back.


His eyes were like chunks of coal with embers burning. Sparks seemed to fly at people from the darkness of those orbs.


It was the 1800s, on the sea near an archipelago of Pacific Islands.


These words were in the old journal from the sailor’s chest found in the attic of the Mystical Lighthouse.


The stains where salt water from the sea’s spindrift landed on the pages seemed to have voices of their own.


The tarnished brass lantern sitting near the sea chest had blue glass etched with designs. It sent a glow with ripples of light and indigo shadows.


The story swept readers back to the 1800s. This is what it said. 


The wisdom of ancient times was woven into the islands of the tropical archipelago. The equator stretched invisible arms around the planet slightly to the south.


The narrow isthmus of land reached between the Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans, 30 miles across.


It grew like a stem from the South American continent below it. At the first light of the new day, creatures large and small swam and scampered among the tangled mangrove roots and twisted branches. 


“Captain Squidbeard.” One of the sailors whispered the name, and the others gasped, holding back squeals of laughter. 


But Captain Shawn Steelwave was proud of having the largest beard on the seas.


That’s why the sailors focused on it. Pride attracts ridicule like honey drawing bees. The ship was like a hive, with the sailors buzzing.


They worked under the captain’s strict eyes, but they discussed him under their breath. 


“Something is living in that beard.”


“I saw it wiggling.” 


“It was twitching.”


“Like tentacles. Reaching out. For us.”


“Look out. The beard is coming after us.”


Captain Steelwave’s eyes of coal saw the Destiny’s Dreams white sails floating like wings coming out of the ocean mists.


A small racing schooner with two triangular sails tacked back and forth near the full rigged clipper ship.


It stayed close to the larger vessel, like a baby whale near its mother.


A tiny flame seemed to burn deep within the pirate’s eyes. Despite his fierce expression, hints of warmth, humor, and kindness still lurked on his face.


He kept his mask in place at all times, never letting vulnerability show.


How had he fallen so far from his earlier years as a guardian of the sea, a captain of many virtues? It began as a sudden descent, then kept rolling with the momentum.


“It is too late now to change,” he thought. He was wrong but he did not know it.


After his ship was wrecked on the sandy river bar, ridicule from the seafaring community seared him like a hot iron. But his attitude encouraged the sailors. They poked fun at him and secretly laughed together at his reactions. 


This grew to be one of their favorite entertainments.


But underneath their tough pirate exteriors, there was the seed of a warm affection between the crew and their captain. It had not sprouted yet, but someday conditions might be right for it.


They did not notice the captain sometimes restrained a chuckle when he heard them. His sense of humor remained, although it was buried deep within him, and he hid it from others.


Captain Steelwave’s bulging, large eyes widened to look even bigger. Framed by the red clouds of his beard and hair, he was a fearsome sight, and this was part of his infamous reputation.


He enjoyed the notoriety and he made his eyes bulge as large as possible and fluffed the tentacles of his beard and hair to reach out even more when meeting strangers.


Sometimes they took one look and ran. Other times they were shocked into being easy for him to manipulate.


 He watched the square white sails of the clipper ship Destiny’s Dreams approaching across the tropical sea. 


“Salty, Barnacles, Squawk, Squinty, Shifty, Fishhook, Sneaky,and Wobbly,” he called. The sailors hurried across the deck of the weatherbeaten old fishing boat, fixing their faces to remove remains of their laughter.


The stern of the boat bore its name, “The Soggy Sardine.”


They saw the eyes of Captain Steelwave begin to blaze and he pointed to the Destiny’s Dreams gliding out of the morning mists like a ghost ship.


A small racing schooner with two triangular sails tacked back and forth near the clipper ship. It stayed close, like a baby whale near its mother.


The wisdom of ancient times was woven into the islands of the tropical archipelago.


The equator stretched invisible arms around the planet slightly to the south. The narrow isthmus of land reached between the Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans, 30 miles across.


It grew like a stem from the South American continent below it. At the first light of the new day, creatures large and small swam and scampered among the tangled mangrove roots and twisted branches. 


In a crevice between the limbs was a hidden cluster of teeny, tiny eggs. One of them wobbled and a baby gecko slipped his head out into the new world.


Other geckos skittered on the branches where a three-toed sloth also hung, and the thick ropes of a boa constrictor were draped in the mangroves.


Captain Steelwave’s rickety fishing boat rocked beyond, in the waves in the bay where the Destiny’s Dreams would anchor.


There was a commotion on the deck of the Soggy Sardine.


Crash. Boom. Hollering and yelling exploded.


A sailor in the rope ladder of the rigging tumbled to the deck. The lines fell around him in a tangle.


“Who unhooked the rope ladder to the midmast? I’ll get you for that.”


He tried to stand up. His feet twisted in the ropes. Crash.


“Here, let me help you.” Another sailor stepped up and offered his hand. The sailor on the deck grabbed it, pulled, and the second sailor fell. Several more sailors tried to help. Crash, boom, again and again.


“You clowns. Get up. Reef those sails. Stop playing around.” Captain Steelwave’s voice came across the deck. 


The sailors stumbled to their feet, and talked in low voices.


“Just when Captain Squidbeard was watching.”


“Did you see his beard twitching like tentacles? It is worse than ever.”


A voice bellowed.


“I heard that. It’s Captain Steelwave to you, sailors. For that you both get deck washing duty plus galley duty on top of your usual work for a week.”


The pirate captain watched the Destiny's Dreams coming closer.


There were light sandy beaches and coastal points with mangrove trees growing out of the water.


 The mangroves stood on knotted, twisted legs and thrust up their snarled branches like wrinkled old hands and fingers.


Many eyes peered out from the shadows and depths of the mangroves. Tiny feet crawled and scampered, leathery skin slithered over the mangroves, bundles of greenish tinged fur hung from the branches, and feathered creatures chirped, squawked, sang, and called.


The pirate captain watched the clipper ship drop its anchor.


"I deserve a ship like that." Captain Steelwave watched the Destiny’s Dreams and spoke to himself.


The sailors on his boat gazed wide eyed at the Destiny's Dreams and discussed the ghost like ship appearing out of the mists.


"That could not be from this world."


"Looks like it could take off and fly."


"Imagine sailing on that one."


Then another voice spoke, with raspy, deep tones.


"No need to imagine. You will be sailing on that. Soon." The sailors' jaws dropped at Captain Squidbeard’s words and their hive buzzed.


"Has the skipper gone crazy?"


"He has been acting more strange than usual."


"Desperate, if you ask me."


But wishing made the sailors want to hope and want to believe.


"Maybe our luck is about to change."


"Captain Squidbeard says he has a plan.


“SSShh. He might hear you.”


The sailors followed the pirate skipper into the wheelhouse and crowded around him.


" Stop pushing me." There was a brief battle between the sailors.


“Squawk. Wobbly. Shifty. Smelly. I know who started this. You sailors will be swabbing the decks for all of next week.” Captain Steelwave’s voice carried over the noise.


“Old Squidbeard.” The mumble came from the group but the captain could not tell who said it.


“Who said that? Which one of you?”


The group froze. The skipper made his big eyes bulge even larger to look fierce.


Captain Steelwave told them his plan. But one sailor began forming different plans. 


"Tomorrow night, after dark..." began the captain. "In the morning, we need to take the rowboat to shore. Bring back water, fresh fruits and other foods. Before we strike."


That evening, when the sun dipped below the horizon, and the orange afterglow turned blue and then black, a slim figure slipped down the side of the Soggy Sardine fishing boat.


It ducked under the water and kicked hard for speed.


Under the moon gleam and star light on the deck of the boat, a night watch sailor swung a lantern at the water and saw a shadow beneath the waves.


“Must be a turtle swimming out from under the boat.” He spoke low to the other sailor on night watch.


“Something made a ripple and I saw flippers moving underwater.”


The swimmer’s arms under the waves paddled hard and the sense of lungs almost bursting grew stronger.


“Farther. I need to go farther. They must not find me.” The swimmer's thoughts raced. “I must escape and warn them.”


For half a mile the swimmer used quiet strokes that slid into the water without splashing and then the hull of the Destiny’s Dreams rose up ahead.


In the windless night, the swimmer moved with barely a ripple on the water. The stern of the ship with its ornate trim offered a way to climb onto the vessel.


“Hold it. Who goes there? Identify yourself.” The night watch sailor shined his lantern on the figure climbing over the railing and onto the deck.


“Please. I have an important message. Pirates. Over there. Going to board your ship, throw everyone overboard, and steal this boat.” The voice sounded young.


“What is going on? Where are you from?” The lantern showed a slender form of short height with a smooth face and long hair.


“Boy. Tell me what you are up to. Now. I’m getting the captain.” The night watch sailor murmured to the other sailor on the deck. Then he walked closer and peered at the youthful face. Wet clothes hung in layers on the intruder.


Captain Alfonse Belanger rushed up to them. The intruder began speaking slowly, then with a louder, excited voice and waving of the arms.


Alfonse stood very still, looking.


He saw a young woman with curly red hair and dark eyes.


“You are not a sailor. Young woman, how did you happen to be on that ship?”


There was a gasp and a cry.


“They call me Perla. I am the daughter of a pirate captain. But he was not always like this."


Captain Alfonse was joined by his first mate, Adelberto. They huddled over Perla and she delivered her message. They made a plan to catch the pirate captain red handed the next night.


At dawn’s first hint of light the next day, Captain Steelwave and two sailors rowed in semi-darkness to the mangroves and tied their boat in the shadows.


“A quick trip to pick fruit and other edible plants. Then back to the boat. Tonight we attack. By tomorrow we will be sailing on our new ship.”


Their voices were low, but creatures in the mangroves sensed them nearby.


“What about the Curse of the Mangroves?” At Barnacle’s voice Captain Steelwave sneered.


“You can’t seriously believe in that?”


Ancient history and wise tales for centuries told of the interconnections and life of the islands, the mangroves, and the creatures there.


Legends say everything works together to preserve the harmony and everything that is part of nature there has a personality and something ethereal, not quite of this world.


Now it was if the whispering leaves in the mangroves and breezes spoke to the creatures and they all conspired together against the pirates. 


The pirate captain climbed out of the boat and reached in the darkness for a branch. Something cold raced across his face with tiny feet and disappeared into the forest of his beard.


Steelwave’s face turned red. The tiny baby gecko dug into the curly red hair and made a deep burrow where the little lizard could stay warm and grow. 


“Steady there, Captain,” said Barnacles, making a cough that started like a laugh.


With dignity, Captain Steelwave reached for another branch. The mossy branch blinked at him. It was an algae-tinged hairy sloth, suspended in the mangroves from its long, three toed claws.


“Why that salty…” Steelwave growled his feelings.


The sloth made a squeak and wrapped its long arms around Captain Steelwave’s head and curled around the masses of red hair. It sat there like a furry hat. 


“Aaagh. I can’t see. Wobbly. Barnacles. Help.”


Captain Steelwave heard choked laughter. He pryed the sloth off of his head and put it back in the twisted mangrove branches.


The sloth stared at Steelwave with a serious gaze, then closed its eyes.


“Enough. Keep going. Come on.” The pirate captain spoke. But nature was ready to present another surprise.


Squidbeard stepped onto another branch and something slithered across his shoulders.


“Barnacle. Wobbly. Is that you?”


Captain Steelwave saw the two sailors drawing away from him in horror, with raised eyebrows and big eyes.


A boa constrictor’s narrow head waved in front of Steelwave’s beard, its eyes peering into the pirate’s face.


Wobbly’s voice came through the mangroves. “Captain, don’t panic. But it looks hungry.”


“AAAGH.” The captain’s shrill scream pierced the morning air.


He tried to fling the heavy snake away. But it was tangled in the curls and tentacles of the Captain’s red cloud of a beard.


He yanked and pulled some of his beard out. Ducking his head he slipped free of the snake. Slipping and sliding he fell into the mud and then climbed back through the mangroves to the boat.


At the Soggy Sardine Captain Squidbeard climbed on board, dripping water and mud.


“The Curse of the Mangroves. Its real. Caught me red-handed. I’m sorry.”


The force of this last experience hit the pirate with a powerful desire to try something else that might be more successful. His better self emerged.


“That’s it. I’m done being a pirate. No more raiding other ships for their biscuits. No more chasing treasures.”


The balance between his two sides shifted, and he decided to turn his life around.


“Get the rowboat. We are going over to the clipper ship. I have a new idea.”


They rowed over to the Destiny’s Dreams, where Steelwave drew upon his distant past when he was a guardian of the seas, a protector with courage and integrity.


The warring impulses inside of Squidbeard saw their balance lean toward his original self, when he was a young, heroic captain.


He related the sad experiences that led to his downfall to Captain Alfonse Belanger, who was no stranger to temptation.


He, too, had fallen in the past, expressed apologies, and taken steps to turn things around.


“And so I offer my humble services, as captain of a fishing boat, to accompany your clipper ship. We can provide easy transport from ship to land, and carry extra passengers and cargo, along with other services."


Squidbeard felt a new pride in himself now for thinking of joining the Destiny's Dreams fleet instead of stealing the ship.


He would succeed in having the Destiny’s Dreams, but it would be by making friends and being useful, not by pirating.


“And you can even call me Captain Squidbeard if you wish. That is what my sailors call me behind my back. I will bear that name with pride now.”


Steelwave’s daughter, Perla, listened with wonder and watched the tentacles of the captain's red beard moving.


Inside of it, the baby gecko from the mangroves crawled from its warm, soft, curly burrow to another nook inside the beard. The rusty strands of hair wiggled in the air.


The contented little lizard was enjoying its new home.


A squeak and a chirp came from the skipper's cloud of red beard.


"Its still in there," whispered Barnacles to the sailors.


They smothered their laughter.


November 29, 2024 23:43

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21 comments

04:29 Dec 08, 2024

The pirate Captain reminded me of the Pirates of the Caribbean stories. The name Squidbeard reminded me of the Sponge Bob Square Pants stories with the character Squidward. The names of his sailors made me laugh. I'm so glad he reformed and didn't take over Destiny's Dreams. It made the story gripping, and I wondered what would happen. This is a lovely new instalment of this series.

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Kristi Gott
04:33 Dec 08, 2024

Thank you very much. Kaitlyn, for you detailed and thoughtful comments!

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Mary Butler
12:51 Dec 07, 2024

Kristi, your story vividly transported me to the adventures of Captain Steelwave and the crew of The Soggy Sardine. The line that resonated most with me was, "Pride attracts ridicule like honey drawing bees," as it encapsulates the captain's layered personality—his strength, vulnerability, and the humanity beneath his fearsome exterior. I also loved how you wove humor seamlessly into the narrative, from the beard's "tentacles" to the delightful chaos of the mangroves. Your descriptions were so rich and engaging that I could almost feel the s...

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Kristi Gott
15:26 Dec 07, 2024

Thank you, Mary, for taking the time to write these deeply thought out comments! They are so encouraging and words cannot express how much I appreciate it!

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Graham Kinross
00:35 Dec 06, 2024

This reminded me of Pirates of the Caribbean or Our Flag Means Death with its humor and charm. Captain Steelwave is a great character with depth and quirks. You mentioned before that you live near the sea I think? Did that inspire this as well? Will there be a sequel story?

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Kristi Gott
05:41 Dec 06, 2024

Thank you, Graham, for your comments! Yes, I was thinking of Pirates of the Caribbean too, only different. Instead of Jack Sparrow we have Captain Squidbeard with a gecko living in his huge beard. I am trying to learn to write the characters as being more complex. Thank you for the encouraging comments about Captain Steelwave. Yes, I have lived near the ocean for most of my life and also on lakes where I sailed in races. Living on the central Oregon coast does inspire me very much. The stories are all stand alone but there will be more w...

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Graham Kinross
05:49 Dec 06, 2024

The names sound straight out of Spongebob Squarepants.

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Kristi Gott
07:01 Dec 06, 2024

Lolol!

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Max Wightwick
18:48 Dec 02, 2024

Hi Kristi, As always, a very enjoyable read, with great pacing and actions. The descriptions are fabulous, and draw you into the relevant scene. For instance - "Destiny’s Dreams white sails floating like wings coming out of the ocean mists." - I liked this a lot. A random question for you - have sailed you, or tenanted a ship for prolonged periods? You seem to capture the maritime essence very well.

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Kristi Gott
20:19 Dec 02, 2024

I grew up sailing and boating on a large lake in Wisc., U.S., and have since then lived on the west coast of the United States close to the ocean, harbors, and boats. Thank you very much for your encouraging comments!

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Max Wightwick
21:51 Dec 02, 2024

Ah, I see. So the sea has come to be a second home.

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Kristi Gott
23:57 Dec 02, 2024

Yes! :-)

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Keba Ghardt
13:25 Dec 02, 2024

Very fun! I love your Jim Hensen-esque characters

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Kristi Gott
13:28 Dec 02, 2024

Thank you, Geba, I appreciate your comments! I love the reference to Jim Hensen characters! Yes, those humorous characters are how I imagine the funny captain with his gigantic red beard.

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Mary Bendickson
02:00 Dec 02, 2024

Was going to mention the repeated paragraph but I see you are aware of it. Once again a delightful tale. Worried there for a bit that the pirate would cause grief to Destiny Dreams. But good conquers all.

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Kristi Gott
02:11 Dec 02, 2024

Thank you, Mary, for your close attention to details when you read, and for your encouragement. :-)

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Alexis Araneta
15:43 Dec 01, 2024

As usual, amazing work. Your imagination is just so fertile. Lovely !

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Kristi Gott
15:54 Dec 01, 2024

Thank you very much, Alexis!

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James Scott
04:04 Dec 01, 2024

Live that all your stories exist in the same world and squid ears is definitely a fun character!

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Kristi Gott
06:09 Dec 01, 2024

Thank you very much, Jim. :-)

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Kristi Gott
23:50 Nov 29, 2024

Author's Note: I write light, whimsical fiction stories for kids around age 10 through adults. One of my goals is to read these stories like podcasts with ocean sounds and slideshow illustrations on youtube. Inspirations for this story: Funny pirate movies and research about the area of the Pacific ocean just north of the equator provided inspiration. The islands, isthmus, traditions of harmony with nature, the mangroves and animals really do exist off the west coast of Panama. I accidentally repeated a paragraph in the story but I will fix ...

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