**talking to a friend while looking at stars above**
Can’t say that I’ve been in love
Though I do like to pretend
Can’t say I’ve ever broken up
Had a relationship real enough to end.
I don’t know what to say to you
But I’m sorry that you’re sad
I kind of feel like slashing things
On your behalf; is that bad?
I know that you still love them
Though you’ve had to move along
Would you cry if I broke their face in
Or are you singing the same song?
Because it’s not fun to talk alone
When you’re staring into space
I don’t know what you’re thinking
Even though it’s written on your face.
I’m not blaming you for crying
Please, that’s a healthy thing
But sixteen hours of tears
And I don’t have food to bring.
I’m too far away for ice cream
So I’ll try to make you smile
It may be hard, that’s true,
But I can be a good friend for a while.
The good thing about me is I listen
Like a quiet piece of sidewalk
I’m gray and cement like and stable
I’ll be quiet and then you can talk.
I don’t have much to do
So I’ll stay on the phone for hours
You can rant and rave and scream
And I will plant some flowers.
I can’t say I relate
To something I’ve never done
But this I know at least
That a break up is never fun.
That was new and bright
But now it’s unplugged
And out went that light
You feel in the dark
With blankets over your head
But you still have time
At least you’re not dead.
You can take your time
To collect and rise above it
You can’t have something for so long
And then quickly learn to unlove it.
To be honest I wouldn’t call them
But to be honest I’m not you
I don’t know what I’m talking about
But if it’s over… see that through.
I wouldn’t be able to see
Someone who hurt me so many times
Anywhere on the street
Anywhere other than sad rhymes
But then again, it’s your life
It’s your song and it’s your crap
You just do what you want
Cause I’m not the judge of that.
I just hate it when you’re lonely
When someone left you low
I don’t want it to happen
And again, what do I know?
I am no expert
And I am no Dr. Phil
I just wish people could see
Who is fake and who is real.
Maybe I can’t see it either
After all I’m human, right
But once you’ve been together
Why are they leaving in the night?
Leaving their house
And hopping the car
You know they should be near
When they’re going far
Or leaving you on read
As the clock ticks away
No one treats a heart like that
And then gets to go and say
That they want a new chance
At this romance
Step out of the dance
Out of the trance
Get a new stance
And maybe I should have said in advance
That love should enhance
A lifelong manse (hooray in Korean by the way)
But just like plants
You have to grow
You have to let
Some people go.
I’m trying to make sense
And at the same time let you see
That love isn’t easy
And it doesn’t come free
So there will be bumps
And mumps and breaks
There will be give
And also take.
You know this better than I do
I’m not the expert
That’d be you.
Don’t want to be judgy
That’s not my place
But it makes me sad
To see your red eyes; tear stained face.
You know your friends love you
You know they only care
You know they mean no harm
Even when it seems not fair
Because they’ve never been in love
So how would they know how to handle this
They’ve never been in love
Never had someone to miss
But they do know, and I know,
That you can do without
You’re breaking free and letting loose
Your building up a shout.
So they’re not a bad person
But it wasn’t working, right?
So why do you still stay up
Talking through the night?
Is it just for company
Or are you still holding on
To something that can’t be right now
To something you said was gone.
But I listened to what you said
And I try to understand
Because this has to take time
And I shouldn’t reprimand.
There’s a lot on your plate
I really need to back up
But all this was on my chest
And now I’ll shut up.
Few last things before I go
I love you a whole lot
I’d go anywhere for you
And I’d eat a bowl of rot.
I don’t mean to be judgmental
So please don’t be mad
I’d say boys are worse than jerks
But then someone would tell my dad.
I am a protective friend
Like you know so are the rest
But only because we think you’re awesome
Just because you are the best.
Gold deserves gold
And gold doesn’t melt
You deserve the world
Not a cardboard doll of felt.
You wanted to travel the planet
But they wanted to stay home
And not let you plan it
Why settle for that
When you could have more
Why stop at the window
When you can open the door?
Fly my friend fly
Spread your lovely wings and fly
Head on to the airport
Take in the clouded sky.
Folks here are fine I guess
But why not scour the pot
There’s over seven billion people
And, buddy, that’s a lot!
So if I were you I’d set down the phone
And start to plan a new start
I’d put away that person
And pick up the shards of broken heart.
I won’t send you this poem yet
Because it’s still so soon
But when you’re better I’ll send your way
So you know I love you to the moon.
You may feel like you’re alone still
With nobody but your side
But last I checked, the world’s still here
So say you lived before you died.
**putting down my pen and going back inside**
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Hi Rhondalise, thought I'd drop by for a while seeing as I haven't left comments on your stories for a long time. This was good! It's actually my first time seeing someone on Reedsy convey a story in a poem way! It's extremely creative and I loved the last line! (Lol) Keep writing, and looking forward to more like this! PS- If you do have time, could you check out my latest story? (I'd be glad if you could!) ;)
Thank you so much! If you liked this poem you might like some of my other ones too! And I will definitely check out that story of yours. :)
Thank you! And, of course! I'm hooked to your "Chaos is a friend of mine", I'm rereading them all over again! ;)
Of course! Be sure to leave comments on those stories too please! You have to join the fan club and hype it up haha. 😂
❤️❤️❤️ WOWZA! ❤️❤️❤️ This format really adds to the story! ❤️❤️❤️ This was so beautiful! ❤️❤️❤️ Love it! ❤️❤️❤️ -Aerinnnnn
Yay! Another poem, haha!
Yeah, what do you think of it? :)
It was great! You're really good at poems! :)
Hi Rhondalise, I loved that story, the storyline, the dialogue. Thank you for reading my stories. Sue
Omisoul! What the heck! This is so beautifully written and structured! pure poetry🙌🏽 I'm at a loss for words. I loved the end line haha
Haha, yes, I had to make it fit the prompt. And thank you so much for reading! If you like this poem be sure to read my others as well. :)
This is so good! you are very talented! Do you mind reading my stories and give me feedback ?
:) your stories are wonderful!
Thank you so much!
Wow great style! Very unique - I loved it! Good job :)
Amazingly fine! Each line! Loved each one! More than a bit of fun!
Thank you so much, for reading not in rush, my friend you are sweet, I think your writing's very neat!
Wow! Wow! Wow!
I'm guessing those are good wow's...?
Of course! Could you check out my new story and share your views on it? Thanks.
This was very beautiful as always Rhondalise. "So say you lived before you died. " Why stop at the window When you can open the door?" "That love isn’t easy And it doesn’t come free" I could literally quote you in the daily quote section of my bio, you're that much of an amazing poet. I mean, the lyrical quality of this is amazing. It was all so heartfelt too, I wouldn't be surprised if this was written for an actual friend experiencing heartbreak. In this stanza: You wanted to travel the planet But they wanted to stay home And ...
Oh of course! And yeah, it totally was written for a friend. She broke up with this kid and they said it was mutual but... I felt moved to write this when I realized she wouldn't stop interacting with him even after the relationship was not healthy. I agree about the last line, that would have been a fantastic touch, and yeah, the gray and cement like and stable part was a little out there. I'll check out your poem as soon as I can.
Wow, what a beautifully written story. The flow is amazing, and the format (as I'm sure you've been told) is creative and really adds to the story. Good job!
Oh WOW Rhondalise! This is so beautiful!!! I am in awe, honestly. I love how this is a poem, and nobody else ever thought to do this... Honestly beautiful <3
Nice story. Beautifully written.
This was truly amazing and man was it relatable. This reminds me of what I had to go through with friend my last year of high school. I love that you went for writing the story in a poem. This was a very good read. Excellent job.
Thank you, Melony, I'm glad it was relatable!
Love the poem style. Love the message of live your dreams don't let someone hold you back. I did feel it was a little long for a poem. That being said I reread it and can't imagine it written in any other way.
Haha, yes, it is very long! I was trying to get a lot of thoughts off my chest and it ended up being quite repetitive.
Excellent advice from Charles about structure! Seeing you say you like constructive criticism: When a poem is this long it needs more to keep the attention. I think it would be vastly improved if you either shorten it and take out some of the repetition of similar sentiments, or add in some kind of narrative or imagery, maybe an extended metaphor to keep interest. I love this stanza because the rhythm is perfect :) But just like plants You have to grow You have to let Some people go. I like the reference to Dr Phil. And also the b...
Thank you, and I agree that it is way too long. 😂 but thank you for feedback and reading!
omg wow! i loved this. the words, the layout, everything ties in together!
Thank you so much, Reeva!
this is great
Thank you, Mary!
- Typo alert. You know your friend love you Friends love and a friend loves. Just not sure which "s" is missing. Creative use of, lyric poetry? Not quite free verse because you have a dominant rhyming pattern, but nothing more structured fits (you break the rhyme pattern at specific points) and it is about a specific emotional topic- lost love. I write so little poetry (generally narrative, haiku or limerick) that I don't know it was well as short format. I sort of think you could add a bit of structure if you just added a little pu...
You are one of the first people to give me real feedback on what could be better and I appreciate it so so much. I’ve read all the comments you wrote on my Chaos is a friend of mine stories too and that was excellent advice! Thank you so much for your time. I will be editing later for sure! 😁🌸
I can't believe you wrote a poem! It's amazing! I don't think I can write a poem this long. Nice job! Do you mind checking out my story? It's called Her Dark Brown Eyes. Thanks!
Hi! I’ve actually submitted quite a few poems! If you liked this one, be sure to check those out too. :) and yes, I will be sure to read your story; it sounds wonderful!