A Message That's Not From Dr. Phil

Submitted into Contest #51 in response to: Write a story that begins and ends with someone looking up at the stars.... view prompt


Creative Nonfiction Drama

**talking to a friend while looking at stars above**

Can’t say that I’ve been in love

Though I do like to pretend

Can’t say I’ve ever broken up

Had a relationship real enough to end.

I don’t know what to say to you

But I’m sorry that you’re sad

I kind of feel like slashing things

On your behalf; is that bad?

I know that you still love them

Though you’ve had to move along

Would you cry if I broke their face in

Or are you singing the same song?

Because it’s not fun to talk alone

When you’re staring into space

I don’t know what you’re thinking

Even though it’s written on your face.

I’m not blaming you for crying

Please, that’s a healthy thing

But sixteen hours of tears

And I don’t have food to bring.

I’m too far away for ice cream

So I’ll try to make you smile

It may be hard, that’s true,

But I can be a good friend for a while. 

The good thing about me is I listen

Like a quiet piece of sidewalk

I’m gray and cement like and stable

I’ll be quiet and then you can talk. 

I don’t have much to do

So I’ll stay on the phone for hours

You can rant and rave and scream 

And I will plant some flowers. 

I can’t say I relate

To something I’ve never done

But this I know at least

That a break up is never fun.

Something started 

That was new and bright

But now it’s unplugged 

And out went that light

You feel in the dark 

With blankets over your head

But you still have time

At least you’re not dead.

You can take your time

To collect and rise above it

You can’t have something for so long

And then quickly learn to unlove it.

To be honest I wouldn’t call them

But to be honest I’m not you

I don’t know what I’m talking about

But if it’s over… see that through. 

I wouldn’t be able to see

Someone who hurt me so many times

Anywhere on the street

Anywhere other than sad rhymes

But then again, it’s your life

It’s your song and it’s your crap 

You just do what you want

Cause I’m not the judge of that.

I just hate it when you’re lonely

When someone left you low

I don’t want it to happen 

And again, what do I know?


I am no expert

And I am no Dr. Phil

I just wish people could see

Who is fake and who is real. 

Maybe I can’t see it either

After all I’m human, right

But once you’ve been together

Why are they leaving in the night?

Leaving their house

And hopping the car

You know they should be near

When they’re going far 

Or leaving you on read

As the clock ticks away

No one treats a heart like that

And then gets to go and say

That they want a new chance

At this romance

Step out of the dance

Out of the trance

Get a new stance

And maybe I should have said in advance

That love should enhance 

A lifelong manse (hooray in Korean by the way) 

But just like plants

You have to grow

You have to let 

Some people go.

I’m trying to make sense

And at the same time let you see

That love isn’t easy 

And it doesn’t come free

So there will be bumps 

And mumps and breaks

There will be give 

And also take. 

You know this better than I do

I’m not the expert

That’d be you. 

Don’t want to be judgy

That’s not my place

But it makes me sad

To see your red eyes; tear stained face.

You know your friends love you

You know they only care

You know they mean no harm

Even when it seems not fair

Because they’ve never been in love

So how would they know how to handle this

They’ve never been in love

Never had someone to miss

But they do know, and I know,

That you can do without

You’re breaking free and letting loose

Your building up a shout.

So they’re not a bad person

But it wasn’t working, right? 

So why do you still stay up

Talking through the night?

Is it just for company 

Or are you still holding on

To something that can’t be right now

To something you said was gone.

But I listened to what you said

And I try to understand

Because this has to take time

And I shouldn’t reprimand.

There’s a lot on your plate

I really need to back up

But all this was on my chest

And now I’ll shut up.

Few last things before I go

I love you a whole lot

I’d go anywhere for you

And I’d eat a bowl of rot.

I don’t mean to be judgmental

So please don’t be mad

I’d say boys are worse than jerks

But then someone would tell my dad. 

I am a protective friend

Like you know so are the rest

But only because we think you’re awesome

Just because you are the best.

Gold deserves gold

And gold doesn’t melt

You deserve the world

Not a cardboard doll of felt. 


You wanted to travel the planet

But they wanted to stay home

And not let you plan it

Why settle for that

When you could have more

Why stop at the window 

When you can open the door?

Fly my friend fly

Spread your lovely wings and fly

Head on to the airport 

Take in the clouded sky.

Folks here are fine I guess

But why not scour the pot 

There’s over seven billion people

And, buddy, that’s a lot! 

So if I were you I’d set down the phone

And start to plan a new start

I’d put away that person

And pick up the shards of broken heart.

I won’t send you this poem yet

Because it’s still so soon

But when you’re better I’ll send your way

So you know I love you to the moon. 

You may feel like you’re alone still

With nobody but your side

But last I checked, the world’s still here

So say you lived before you died. 

**putting down my pen and going back inside**

July 18, 2020 05:23

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.


Niveeidha Palani
04:07 Jul 19, 2020

Hi Rhondalise, thought I'd drop by for a while seeing as I haven't left comments on your stories for a long time. This was good! It's actually my first time seeing someone on Reedsy convey a story in a poem way! It's extremely creative and I loved the last line! (Lol) Keep writing, and looking forward to more like this! PS- If you do have time, could you check out my latest story? (I'd be glad if you could!) ;)


Jubilee Forbess
04:23 Jul 19, 2020

Thank you so much! If you liked this poem you might like some of my other ones too! And I will definitely check out that story of yours. :)


Niveeidha Palani
04:58 Jul 19, 2020

Thank you! And, of course! I'm hooked to your "Chaos is a friend of mine", I'm rereading them all over again! ;)


Jubilee Forbess
05:05 Jul 19, 2020

Of course! Be sure to leave comments on those stories too please! You have to join the fan club and hype it up haha. 😂


Niveeidha Palani
09:29 Jul 19, 2020

Of course!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
00:40 Jul 21, 2020

❤️❤️❤️ WOWZA! ❤️❤️❤️ This format really adds to the story! ❤️❤️❤️ This was so beautiful! ❤️❤️❤️ Love it! ❤️❤️❤️ -Aerinnnnn


Show 0 replies
Avani G
15:46 Jul 18, 2020

Yay! Another poem, haha!


Jubilee Forbess
15:50 Jul 18, 2020

Yeah, what do you think of it? :)


Avani G
20:16 Jul 18, 2020

It was great! You're really good at poems! :)


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Sue Marsh
20:04 Jul 25, 2020

Hi Rhondalise, I loved that story, the storyline, the dialogue. Thank you for reading my stories. Sue


Show 0 replies
Jade Young
23:35 Jul 23, 2020

Omisoul! What the heck! This is so beautifully written and structured! pure poetry🙌🏽 I'm at a loss for words. I loved the end line haha


Jubilee Forbess
23:42 Jul 23, 2020

Haha, yes, I had to make it fit the prompt. And thank you so much for reading! If you like this poem be sure to read my others as well. :)


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Djenat Remmache
22:28 Jul 23, 2020

This is so good! you are very talented! Do you mind reading my stories and give me feedback ?


Jubilee Forbess
00:47 Jul 24, 2020

:) your stories are wonderful!


Djenat Remmache
09:47 Jul 24, 2020

Thank you so much!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Maya Reynolds
16:40 Jul 20, 2020

Wow great style! Very unique - I loved it! Good job :)


Show 0 replies
P. Jean
16:30 Jul 18, 2020

Amazingly fine! Each line! Loved each one! More than a bit of fun!


Jubilee Forbess
16:32 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you so much, for reading not in rush, my friend you are sweet, I think your writing's very neat!


P. Jean
16:47 Jul 18, 2020

Smile awhile!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Batool Hussain
07:20 Jul 18, 2020

Wow! Wow! Wow!


Jubilee Forbess
16:05 Jul 18, 2020

I'm guessing those are good wow's...?


Batool Hussain
18:23 Jul 18, 2020

Of course! Could you check out my new story and share your views on it? Thanks.


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amany Sayed
00:23 Aug 04, 2020

This was very beautiful as always Rhondalise. "So say you lived before you died. " Why stop at the window When you can open the door?" "That love isn’t easy And it doesn’t come free" I could literally quote you in the daily quote section of my bio, you're that much of an amazing poet. I mean, the lyrical quality of this is amazing. It was all so heartfelt too, I wouldn't be surprised if this was written for an actual friend experiencing heartbreak. In this stanza: You wanted to travel the planet But they wanted to stay home And ...


Jubilee Forbess
00:48 Aug 04, 2020

Oh of course! And yeah, it totally was written for a friend. She broke up with this kid and they said it was mutual but... I felt moved to write this when I realized she wouldn't stop interacting with him even after the relationship was not healthy. I agree about the last line, that would have been a fantastic touch, and yeah, the gray and cement like and stable part was a little out there. I'll check out your poem as soon as I can.


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Simone T
21:46 Aug 01, 2020

Wow, what a beautifully written story. The flow is amazing, and the format (as I'm sure you've been told) is creative and really adds to the story. Good job!


Show 0 replies
Nobody Really
12:06 Aug 01, 2020

Oh WOW Rhondalise! This is so beautiful!!! I am in awe, honestly. I love how this is a poem, and nobody else ever thought to do this... Honestly beautiful <3


Show 0 replies
Rodrigo Juatco
01:15 Jul 31, 2020

Nice story. Beautifully written.


Show 0 replies

This was truly amazing and man was it relatable. This reminds me of what I had to go through with friend my last year of high school. I love that you went for writing the story in a poem. This was a very good read. Excellent job.


Jubilee Forbess
01:55 Jul 27, 2020

Thank you, Melony, I'm glad it was relatable!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
16:26 Jul 25, 2020

Love the poem style. Love the message of live your dreams don't let someone hold you back. I did feel it was a little long for a poem. That being said I reread it and can't imagine it written in any other way.


Jubilee Forbess
16:28 Jul 25, 2020

Haha, yes, it is very long! I was trying to get a lot of thoughts off my chest and it ended up being quite repetitive.


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kate Le Roux
07:32 Jul 24, 2020

Excellent advice from Charles about structure! Seeing you say you like constructive criticism: When a poem is this long it needs more to keep the attention. I think it would be vastly improved if you either shorten it and take out some of the repetition of similar sentiments, or add in some kind of narrative or imagery, maybe an extended metaphor to keep interest. I love this stanza because the rhythm is perfect :) But just like plants You have to grow You have to let Some people go. I like the reference to Dr Phil. And also the b...


Jubilee Forbess
12:18 Jul 24, 2020

Thank you, and I agree that it is way too long. 😂 but thank you for feedback and reading!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Reeva Lalani
15:00 Jul 23, 2020

omg wow! i loved this. the words, the layout, everything ties in together!


Jubilee Forbess
00:47 Jul 24, 2020

Thank you so much, Reeva!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Mry M
07:08 Jul 23, 2020

this is great


Jubilee Forbess
00:48 Jul 24, 2020

Thank you, Mary!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Charles Stucker
21:44 Jul 22, 2020

- Typo alert. You know your friend love you Friends love and a friend loves. Just not sure which "s" is missing. Creative use of, lyric poetry? Not quite free verse because you have a dominant rhyming pattern, but nothing more structured fits (you break the rhyme pattern at specific points) and it is about a specific emotional topic- lost love. I write so little poetry (generally narrative, haiku or limerick) that I don't know it was well as short format. I sort of think you could add a bit of structure if you just added a little pu...


Jubilee Forbess
22:06 Jul 22, 2020

You are one of the first people to give me real feedback on what could be better and I appreciate it so so much. I’ve read all the comments you wrote on my Chaos is a friend of mine stories too and that was excellent advice! Thank you so much for your time. I will be editing later for sure! 😁🌸


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Zyönnah Isiguzo
15:55 Jul 22, 2020

I can't believe you wrote a poem! It's amazing! I don't think I can write a poem this long. Nice job! Do you mind checking out my story? It's called Her Dark Brown Eyes. Thanks!


Jubilee Forbess
15:58 Jul 22, 2020

Hi! I’ve actually submitted quite a few poems! If you liked this one, be sure to check those out too. :) and yes, I will be sure to read your story; it sounds wonderful!


Zyönnah Isiguzo
16:49 Jul 22, 2020

I will


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.