34 comments

Thriller

‘Tell me, Alex. Who’s the nerd now? Huh?’ his words let out rashly, a chill ran down my spine.

‘Well hello there Ricky! Didn’t see you coming’, I kicked his bicycle as he struggled to balance. ‘I feel you are not glad to see me, is it so?’ I laughed at the fear popping out of his eyes. He was such crap. The ugly face with almond hair gathered over like a pigeon nest and a button-up shirt. To make matters worse, the quirky look on his face with checkered socks tickled me hard. He was so weak; it seemed as if I could blow him away. A little huff, and gone!

 ‘Please, don’t stop me.’, he shuddered. I smiled, oh how cruel was I! Such a demon… At least for him. Suddenly, I felt heavy breathing behind and a hard blow hit my head. Whoa! The world’s spinning fast, I thought. I tried acting braver, but all I grew was tenser. I fought back gravity to keep me upright but my head aggrieved. In seconds, I was down on the floor. What was going on? I definitely didn’t like fear. Blurred up eyes, I tried looking up but all I could see were some misty figures trying to tackle Ricky who was screaming like a girl. I do not know how long I had been in that situation because I was continuously dozing off for short periods. But the last thing I saw was some goofy large eyeballs behind a pair of nerdy glasses bowed on me. A light cackle escaped my throat, my head was rotating like a tornado but oh boy! He was so hilarious, I just couldn’t help it. As he dragged me away, darkness wrapped its wings around me.

I opened my eyes to find myself in a small, but airy room.  Shocking pink curtains whirled back and forth in a light dance across the triangular window. The room was itself very dusty, stinging sunlight poured in the room and reflected through the large mirror on the wall. Where was I? Nope, I was not a baby to cry mama! That was exactly the situation I personally loved. No mom dad, not the bossy little sister either. Me alone, in a mysterious home! Wasn’t it fantastic? Yup, you’re absolutely right. I never care what’s gonna happen next, I am the bouncy kid whose adventurous feelings act as oxygen for the overactive soul.

 I slowly got up from the plain bed, covered with a sheet of a dark brown and yellow, tinted shade. And in a moment, I realized where I was. Nerdy Ricky’s shitty room! Oh boy… the place was such a mess.

I lightly tried to walk towards the funky door. Suddenly, it creaked open. And he entered, Ricky. I sarcastically smiled. Astonishingly, he smiled back. He never did, because I was always a threat to danger.

‘Remember something, Alex?’, that was the first time he called me by my name, and it was not funny. Confused, I tried flashing back the blurred characters and all that happened but the hard stinging in my head didn’t allow me for too long. I gave up. He laughed at my miserable sight.‘ you dog!’, I growled and pounced upon him. Getting laughed at being a punk is not very pleasing.‘ I think you have forgotten who I am’, I sneered as I grabbed his hair and punched that face, ‘remember something?’ I copied his puny tone. Blood dripped through his torn lip. But the smile didn’t fade out, I quickly backed up. The look in his eyes was strong and daring. I felt the fear tightening in me, my strong muscles going numb. Why was I being afraid of him? I just didn’t know.

‘Go home Alex’, he said, seemed more like ordered. I could have killed him for that but I slowly stood up and dragged myself towards the door. I was deep in thoughts, trying to remember… hard.

As I reached home, I lightly pressed the doorbell. That was typically strange because I always kicked the door and banged it hard. Mom opened… and I went straight into the largest lie of my life.

‘Alex!’ she cried out loud, the highest astonishment level ever. Wow! That was surprising. I confusingly smiled as my eyes darted around her worn face. The dark circles and swollen eyes. Her hair was a mess scattered over the night pajamas. I had never seen mom like that before. She was a glam lady, all accessorized… every time. A super fashion designer, an up to date apple of the eye! But her situation was miserable now. She hugged me tight, ‘are you alright darling?’ she cried. Then almost carrying her 14-year-old son in her arms, she rushed towards the lounge. ‘George!’ I saw her screaming at the top of her lungs. Now it was my father’s turn. With widened eyes he touched me, ‘impossible…’ the words escaped as a dry whisper through his throat. There was silence for a moment. ‘My hero!’ he suddenly slapped my back hard and joyfully wrapped his arms around me. ‘How did you manage?’ he quivered. Before I could answer, my sister, burst in and so did a hell of neighbors. ‘Alex is back!’ everyone cheered. The news anchors pushed through the crowd. In a flash, the cameras were recording me… live.

I stood there stunned. In five freaking minutes, my life had turned over a new leaf… totally flipped over! I didn’t know what the hell were they talking about but I definitely didn’t want to miss out on the golden chance. I was going to be a celebrity!

‘Sir!’ a squeaky voice brought me back in the present, ‘sir! Will you like to tell us how you managed to survive the L.P bandits? There were 5 of them and you put on a bad fight. Two are in a critical situation and the rest are under arrest already…’ he looked in my eyes. I was totally blank. A wild volcano erupted in my mind and burnt all my speaking abilities, my confidence… my strength. Pictures started whirling around me. Ricky’s face…. his dragging… his room… he struggling with the black figures….THE DARE IN HIS EYES… THE UNFADABLE SMILE. Things started making sense as I felt my body shudder. Did he just… no! That couldn’t be!!

‘Sir!’ the voice interrupted again and I frantically looked at the crowd. All eyes on me, pin-drop silence. ‘Uh… well’, I had to make up. ‘I fought them hard using my combo fists and tricky techniques! And they turned out to be noobs… ha ha!’ no one laughed. Ok. That wasn’t a good one. ‘Alright, listen!’ I took a deep breath. ‘I was walking by the pathway to the grocery store when someone hit me at the back of my head. It was painful but I managed to stand on my legs and suddenly blocked the second incoming blow. It was easier to run as they weren’t too many. So I tried taking a sharp cut to lose them and ended up getting stuck in a narrowed one-way street. It was dark and that proved to be useful. I did what I could do and you know, escaped!’ I tried putting an end to it.

‘Right sir, but where were you for the past 2 days?’ he was literally killing me.  ‘About that….’ I paused, ‘well… I, uh… was afraid they were too many and so didn’t go home. I was afraid, yeah… didn’t want mom dad to get in trouble because of me. I felt as if they were following me so I had to lose trail’. I said. Ok then came the next question, ‘so you slept in the streets and kept yourself hidden then?’ I looked at the crowd, it cheered. As I was trying to build in the confidence for all the lies I spotted someone grinning at me in the corner. Ricky! Words suddenly got lost, everything messed up. I couldn’t stand it now. His eyes locked on me as if saying, ‘good job Alex. You made a pretty good story. How are you gonna survive after? I would always be with you….’

 No, what was I thinking! ‘Maybe next time, I am too tired for now… please’, I held my head and spoke lightly. The news anchors confusingly nodded their heads and walked towards dad. ‘Show’s over folks’, a voice boomed and the crowd slowly dispersed.

I was asked to be taken an interview in the main channels and dad was busy signing the contracts. I was famous now! Wow…

People know me since then. I have become a public personality and the incident is years old now. All they have is one confusion. Alex, the one and only strongest child in New York history, why do his legs shake when he hears about a freaky kid who lives four blocks apart… Ricky.

All my life, I might forget even who I am but what will never erase off the farthest of my memories is Ricky. His shadowy personality and the curse of curiosity for what happened that day… the creepy smile, the dragging… his room I never saw after and the eerie voice of his, ‘remember something?’….

September 04, 2020 03:08

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

34 comments

Wow! Great story Syeda! I love the detail and description! Well done!

Reply

Syeda Fatima
09:23 Sep 05, 2020

thanks !

Reply

You're welcome!

Reply

Show 0 replies

Hey Syeda, do you want to check out my new story? Please give me feedback where needed! Thanks!

Reply

Syeda Fatima
09:59 Sep 06, 2020

why not? sure...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Charles Stucker
12:27 Sep 26, 2020

This has a bit of a twilight zone feel to it. Alex does not deserve his fame, but Ricky prefers to remain out of the limelight. It's too late to deal with all the little typos. If you want, run this through a word processor because you have a couple of things it will pick up. using the spell/grammar check to get the easy typo problems is generally a good idea. Computers are not perfect, but every problem they catch is one less you have to find by hand. Good basic tale. Nice sentence structure, with variation in length and nothing too...

Reply

Syeda Fatima
14:44 Sep 26, 2020

ok, thank you, Charles I haven't seen the movie so didn't find out the resemblance with my story. anyways, I am thankful for the critical analysis and hoping you will continue guiding.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
11:35 Feb 11, 2021

going well

Reply

Show 0 replies
11:34 Feb 11, 2021

very good effort

Reply

Show 0 replies
Ibraheem Zeeshan
15:23 Dec 31, 2020

it will reach a million likes inshalah

Reply

11:35 Feb 11, 2021

sorry but youve deleted

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Benish Mustafa
11:58 Oct 28, 2020

V impressive. U have an amazing writing skills. Keep it up and GOD bless u

Reply

Syeda Fatima
11:09 Oct 29, 2020

thanks.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Inas Hassan
10:57 Oct 28, 2020

Mashallah 👍👍very thought provoking.. well done !!

Reply

Syeda Fatima
11:13 Oct 28, 2020

thank u

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ayesha Fahad
05:01 Oct 28, 2020

Aslam o Alikum syeda fatima I like your story the way u write the way u explain well-done keep it up

Reply

Syeda Fatima
11:14 Oct 28, 2020

wa alaikum assalam . thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Faateh Sabonah
05:00 Oct 28, 2020

Ma Sha Allah

Reply

Syeda Fatima
11:14 Oct 28, 2020

;>

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Emaan Kamran
13:17 Oct 27, 2020

Really impressed!! Keep writing ❤️❤️

Reply

Syeda Fatima
11:15 Oct 28, 2020

Thankz Emaan!

Reply

Emaan Kamran
12:44 Oct 29, 2020

You're welcome ❤️

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Gip Roberts
20:11 Sep 28, 2020

His attempts at telling lies to take credit for "his" heroic act were funny to read. Great job with the descriptions of his fear of Ricky. The last half of the story particularly kept me invested in finding out the ending.

Reply

Syeda Fatima
14:34 Oct 03, 2020

thank you for the review, Gip!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ann B
20:20 Sep 26, 2020

I love the story line to it! It was really fun to read and it had an element of mystery to it. I also really like how you can read his thought process.

Reply

Syeda Fatima
09:35 Oct 14, 2020

thank you.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Raazia Ch
04:37 Sep 09, 2020

Keep it up👍

Reply

Syeda Fatima
06:56 Sep 09, 2020

thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Sadia Sadiq
09:35 Sep 08, 2020

An extreme piece of written art that shows ur love and compatibility with words . keep up!

Reply

Syeda Fatima
06:57 Sep 09, 2020

I will.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Kristin Neubauer
18:28 Sep 04, 2020

I like this, Syeda! It's so interesting and intriguing. I am really impressed when an author's protagonist is so completely different from the author - that you managed to get inside the head of a bully like Alex and tell a story from his perspective. Really well done!

Reply

Syeda Fatima
00:43 Sep 05, 2020

oh, thank u Kristin!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Syeda Fatima
03:09 Sep 04, 2020

I am back again! but with a mystery thriller this time. hope you enjoy!

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.