I stopped the urge to shout at the top of my voice as Miss Amber, my teacher in the orphanage, beat me hard with a whip for doing my sums correctly. The teachers at the orphanage in Leansburg are very cruel and inhumane, they beat you for having more knowledge than them, for wanting more food or sleeping for more than three hours a day. I wonder even if they areΒ humans. Though I am 15 the youngest in my classroom I am more into studies and reading. I get beatings for spending my time in the library, trying to find answers about the powers I was said to have. The teachers say that I should work and help others instead of wasting time in the library running behind some fantasy. They even made my silky light brown hair short saying that long hair is kept by rich people,not a poor girl like me. Now my hair keep on coming over my face making itΒ hard to see things properly. I mourn for my once long hair every single day. I wish I could just take revenge from them for everything they had done to me in three long years.
I had arrived here three years ago at the age of 12 when my parents had died in a massive fire, when our house was burnt by the invaders in the war. I remember Helen, my nanny, leading me through the back door and so that we could hide in the shed. I also remember her saying something under her breath and continuously moving her hand in a circle in front of her and holding me close as she did so, that time I couldn't understand anything as I was shaken by the fact that my parents were still in the burning house. We were still in the shed when a loud crashing sound came and Helen did notΒ seem to care about it, she was very focused in whatever she was doing. She looked up at me when she was finished, a big portal in front of us. She looked straight into my blue eyes before saying :
"You have to go my dear before they take you. Don't worry, You will come here again to save your people when the time comes. And let me tell you this, Emily you are SPECIAL".
With that she let go of me. And when I opened my eyes I was here, In this orphanage in an unknown place named Leansburg.
What is weird is the fact that my parents had said the same thing to me since I was an infant. I remember having some sort of supernatural power but when I tried to use itΒ wouldn't work here , and what I didn't know andΒ what they didn't say was that I would be leaving in such a situation worst of all, leaving them in such a bad circumstances . I still can't take that day out of my head, It keeps on repeating in my head again and again every night. It's like it is reminding me every day that I do not belong here, that I am an alien . But I am not sure about my power. I am not sure I can remember which kind of power I had. I am not sure even if it will work after three years. And how am I supposed to go back to my world? How will I do it?. I have so many questions that it is all so........................
OverwhelmingΒ -
"Ouch!.β I flinched. The whole class was laughing at me as MissΒ Amber threw a chalk at me which hit me straight on the forehead.
"Miss Jones stand straight and do not bend your back". She snapped.
"Yes mam." I said as I tried to stand straighter.
All eyes were on me.I felt very uncomfortable.Β
Some whispered, some made sympathetic faces, others just smiled widely glad that I was the one who got a punishment not them.
I wished I could use my power (whatever that was) now, at this moment, but it is a pity that I can't.Β
While I was heading towards the library I saw a girl being bullied by some boys. She was pretty with short blond hair. I moved in that direction. As I moved closer the boys stopped teasing her and looked at me.
"What do you want, little girl βone of them said.
" I want you to leave that girl alone, " I said, my anger rising. How dare he call me a little girl. I hated it when people called me" Little girl.β
"What will you do if I don't? β He asked in a mocking tone.
"You wouldn't want to know,β I said fiercely.
"Wouldn't I want to know what a little girl like you can do.β he said, laughing hard.Β Β
I didn, 't waste a minute. I punched him on the face. He took a few steps back clearly startled at the suddenness of my attack. The other two stood there frozen as I punched them in the stomach.
The girl just stood there. her mouth agape.
I took the girl's hand and ran towards the library where we would be safe.
"Thank you so much for standing up to them for me. You were amazing! ." she said as she tucked the front strands of hair back behind her ear.
"My pleasure." I said from behind the bookshelf.
I picked out two books about planets from the shelf then I sat on one of the hard plastic chairs, and the girl did the same.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Lilly. What's yours?"
"Emily"
"Thanks again Emily for saving me." she said
"Don't mention it. Besides, I had to take out my anger on someone anyway." I said and then grinned as widely as I could.
As I finished my second book my head was spinning with so many facts about all the planets.
"Why are you reading books about planets?". She inquired.
I hesitated to answerβ¦ What was I supposed to tell her? That I was from another plant and I had some supernatural power hidden inside me,and that I was an alien who was doing some research on it.Β
Well, I decided to tell her everything about me and what had happened three years ago.Β
"I am so sorry Emily I know how hard it is to lose your parents like that" she said.
"It sure is hard. Why? Do you seem to believe about what I just said".
"Why wouldn't I?. It is possible that you can have powers you know?. I think that you are already strong."
I don't know. I am still not sure what my power is. How am I supposed to believe it when I have no proof?. I think I will find out whatΒ supernatural power I actually have, in the future. I hopeβ¦β¦β¦β¦..Β
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49 comments
You have a good plot here and you also know how to draw attention. I read till the end and liked the story. You just need to work on your writing form and I believe after some time here on reedsy and after some critique from its members βyou will surely get better. I know you can't edit this story as the contest for it has ended but the edits are for next time, for you to improve so that your next story will be even better. I was punctuating dialogue like you even up till my fifth story but someone recommended a very good article for...
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Thank you so much!!.I really appreciate that you took out time to read my story and commented on it. I will surely try to correct my mistakes. This is the first time I wrote a story so it is not that good :). I have never typed or edited anything until now so it is hard. Thank you so much again for the feedback.
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You are welcome
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Your high energy stories are captivating. Yes, there are errors, but those can be fixed. I catch many wording issues by reading aloud. That and hearing someone else read give you a double dose of 'does it flow?' What cannot be taught is writing with heart. And you seem to already know that. Carry on. I hope you enjoy my stories too.
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Thank you so much for reading it. I am not that good at typing. So, there are many mistakes. π¬ Thank you for letting me know about it. π I will be sure to read your stories too. π
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I loved this story! It kept me interested and I can't wait to read more of your work!
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Thank you so much!!. I am happy that you liked it. I really appreciate that you took out time to read my story :)
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No problem!
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Wow another great story!!! It really kept me hooked the whoollee time! You defintely have an amazing plot going on!! One thing I have noticed while reading both of your stories, I noticed you tend to rush the end. Like the beginning is flowing and then you just move then just cut it off. Like it gave me the vibe that you wanted to end it. And just be careful on that, keep the pace of the story consistent. But other than that I see a great plot here! And OMG have you considered writing part 2? Cause I wannna know what happens nexxtttt! But...
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Aawwww. Thank you!!!. Glad you liked it. Will try to keep the stories consistent. π Thank you for the feedback. ππππ Yup, I think I will write a part 2. π Thank you!!. πβΊοΈβΊοΈ (it's meaning is God's gift)
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Of course anytime! And reallyyyy! Mine means Gods Honor!!!ππ
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π O.M.G!!!! . That's unbelievable. βΊοΈ It's kind of same. π€―
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Yeahhh! Are you a Christian? I don't wanna assume if your not..so I thought I should ask
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Nope. I am not a Christian...... I am a Muslim. π Thank you for asking though. π Most of the people think that I am a Christian , because of my name. ππππ So that's a question I get most of the time. π . So no problem. βΊοΈ
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YAAAAAY! This has a few typos and punctuation mess-ups, but the plot is fresh, new and funny.
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Hi! Emmie. Yes, I admit that I have a lot of punctuation mistakes. I am trying to correct them. Thank you! Glad you like it.
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:)
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Just read part 2 so I decided I needed to come back and read part 1! Honestly, both parts are incredibly engaging and creative. I love how you were able to make such a unique and fun alien world (in the second part) and an absorbing plot. Both stories pulled me in from the very start and made me really want to know what will happen next! Part 3 would be much appreciated:)
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Thank you so much for reading the stories. I really appreciate it. Thanks a lot for the sweet words. I will be making a part 3 when the right prompt comes. Thank you for the feedback and have a great day ahead and happy writing.
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I will surely try to read your stories. π
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That would be awesome if you could! I really like your work, so if you could give me any helpful feedback I would be super happy about that:)
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πI will be Glad to do it. Thank you!π I love checking people's stories out and commenting on them.
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But do you mind if I check your stories out on Friday cause I am a little busy right now. I am so sorry. Hope you understand.
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Hi Alina! I read your bio, I like Louisa May Alcott too! And I really like Jo . . . I think I'm a bit like her. You said that you love to just try reading random new books and then gush about/discuss them. I have a few suggestions! Let me know if you're interested. It also gives me joy to see my yellow dot. I am very fond of it. And I like to just talk to people. Maybe you'll light up my dot soon . . . !
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Hello, ππ» Thank you sooooooo much for reading it. I am very happy that we share the same interests. I think I am a bit like Jo too. :-) I would love to know what your suggestions are.π Hope to hear soon, Alina
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Hi! How are you? Did you have a good Christmas and New Year?
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I am fine thank you, Well, we don't celebrate Christmas or new year. But I guess the day went by happily. What about you? How did Christmas and new year go for you?
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About book suggestions: first, have you read J. R. R. Tolkien or C. S. Lewis?
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Not yet, but I have them on my wish list. Could you please recommend some books to me?
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I had a good day. Jo is funny, isn't she?
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Yes she is π I love her personality
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