Missing Pieces (That's my title for now:))

Submitted into Contest #80 in response to: Start your story with a major news event breaking — one that will change the world forever.... view prompt

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Adventure Romance

I know this is irrelevant to this week's theme, but I still wanted to post something. It might even be able to contribute to my story for next week:) Sorry!

Dawn broke the darkness that snuck behind the towering mountain peaks, the sun slowly rising above the horizon. Eliza stood by the open window pane, feeling the cool breeze numb her cheeks. Everyone hated being cold, but not Eliza. Something about the sensation of feeling the iciness of the air was so mind-clearing.

And Eliza needed a clear mind, especially now. She picked out the far-off kingdom through squinted eyes. It was as small as her pinkie nail at this distance, and wasn’t very impressive. And she had to go there. The King there had died during the past week, and they were severely desperate for a capable—and wealthy—bride for the Prince. She sighed and turned away from the window. She walked over to a piano in the middle of the huge granite room, moving in a poised manner. The Grand’s slick black paint reflected the soft glow of the moonlight shining through the still open window onto Eliza’s azure dress.

She carefully sat herself on the bench and lightly placed her fingers on the keys. The melody filled the Music Chamber, Eliza’s fingers gliding across the keys, flowing in a continuous song. She filled the music with passion and emotion, and embraced the last echoing notes as she finished. She closed her eyes in sorrow and stood up from the cushioned seat. Softly tracing the framework of the piano, Eliza said her last goodbyes and left the room.

Yellow candle light and warmth enveloped her as she hurried down the castle corridors to her rooms. She quickly grabbed her bags—her servants were all sick, the poor things took the servant’s door, a convenient shortcut through the kitchens and to the palanquin that was waiting for her outside. She stepped into the chilling night air and spotted her mother waiting patiently in the palanquin.

Wait, were those wheels? Eliza found herself dumbfounded, but climbed into the strange palanquin anyways.

“Eliza,” her mother said softly. “A Princess is never late.”

“I am sorry, Mother. I will take that into account next time I am leaving my life behind to assist a kingdom in shambles.”

Eliza felt a stab of guilt, and immediately regretted the comeback.

Her mother glared, but otherwise ignored the comment.

Eliza’s mind soon wandered as she waited for the palanquin to start its journey. How would it move, anyways? However they got it moving, wouldn’t it be bumpy and—

Her thoughts and questions were interrupted by overlapped clip-clopping outside. Mother startled and peeked past the cloth curtain that worked as a makeshift door. She gasped, and pulled back into the palanquin.

“What is it?” Eliza asked, curious.

Her mother clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction and shook her head. “They think they can use horses to move the palanquin! Ha! How could those dirty beasts ever manage to—”

She was cut off as the palanquin lurched forward, much faster than either of them had expected. Eliza held back a smile, and slipped a small book out of her satchel. This was going to be a long ride.

...

By the end of the journey, Eliza’s backside ached. The horse-pulled palanquin on wheels was faster and more efficient, but much more uncomfortable. Every pebble in the gravel path lurched its passengers, causing Eliza and her mother to sigh in relief as they finally arrived at their destination.

“Finally,” Eliza’s mother grumbled. “I feel as if my backside will fall right off as soon as I get the chance to stand up.”

Eliza let a smile bleed onto her face at the remark. For a woman so strict on ladylike behavior, Mother could make up quite the scene—so long as they were alone.

Eliza stepped out of the palanquin first, with the help of the man that controlled the horses. The stench of dirt mixed with sweat immediately stung her nose as she watched a small rodent scurry across the path in front of her. The said “kingdom” was in worse shape than she’d anticipated.

“Goodness me,” her mother gasped in shock with a hand to her breast. “This is filthy!” She lifted her dress so the hem didn’t brush the ground as she moved and stomped towards the castle—the only seemingly normal thing in sight—to speak with the prince. Eliza nodded her thanks to the coachman—which he called himself after she’d asked—and hurried off after her mother.

Eliza noticed children running in the streets, playing with each other. All they had for clothes were rags hanging off of their slim bodies in tatters. They were covered in mud and dirt, and coughed violently as they played Bring-The-Stick with street dogs. Her mother was disgusted, staying away from them as much as possible and yelping when they ran across her path. Eliza was curious—and guilty. This whole time, they lived prosperous while this poor kingdom suffered the opposite.

As they approached the palace, Eliza spotted a small girl-child with stunning blue eyes, clutching a ragged doll. She sat alone on the side of the street, covered in grime and clothed with only rags. Eliza smiled at the girl and continued behind her mother.

Before they could even enter through the doors, a short, plump man scuttled out—the Lord Steward.

“At last! My name is Gustav. Come, come inside.” The man turned around and started inside.

Eliza’s mother snatched his arm with unexpected speed.

Gustav stopped and turned to face them.

“This is vile,” she exclaimed. “I refuse to stay here.”

Gustav adopted a horrified look. “N-no, miss, please,” he stuttered. “Please, just give us a chance. Two months, just two months, please!”

“Fine,” she hesitated, scowling. “But I’m going home.”

She turned to Eliza. “I will see you in two months, my dear.” And with that, she stalked off back to the palanquin, eyeing the man next to her daughter. Gustav said nothing, walking into the palace and leading Eliza to her rooms. He looked at Eliza with pleading eyes, then shut the door softly.

The nice Coachman brought Eliza’s bags, and she sat on her bed beside them, sighing. “Right, then.”

February 12, 2021 20:42

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123 comments

WAIT A MINUTE- Are you on Nanowrimo YWP? If not, don't mind me, i'm crazy probably

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Megan Stone
04:20 Apr 23, 2021

ABSOLUTELY- How you know me-

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Megan Stone
04:22 Apr 23, 2021

Idk if I have the same name tho-

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Megan Stone
04:26 Apr 23, 2021

JUST KIDDING I just changed it to Shallan Davar 11 XD

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My username was PercyJacksonMegaFan, I just changed it to BluePlasticHairbrush XD

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Megan Stone
14:16 Apr 23, 2021

OMG that's an amazing nameeee XD But how did you know I was on there?! Is there someone else with the same username??

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Philip Clayberg
19:51 Feb 23, 2021

I liked this story. Thank you for writing it. You did a good job showing the difference between wealth and poverty, between royalty and the poor. And, especially, between Eliza and her mother. (Btw, if you haven't read it yet, I would recommend Victor Hugo's books, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and "Les Miserables".) I hope you'll write a sequel to this story because I want to read about what happens next. And here are the editing comments (hope they're not too lengthy or annoying): The Grand’s slick black paint [Just for clarity, I ...

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Megan Stone
21:57 Feb 23, 2021

Thank you so much! And I looooove Hunchback of Notre Dam and Les Mis!! Great stories. These suggestions are sooooooo helpful, thank you! I'll be sure to change everything:) Thanks again so much! (And I'm a part-time pianist, too! But I haven't had the chance to play a Grand yet:( I will in a couple of months, though!)

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Megan Stone
22:16 Feb 23, 2021

Alright, this might be a bit much.... you don't have to read all of it haha but I edited it the best I could. If you do somehow end up reading all of it, then could you let me know if that's a little better? Thanks again so much for your encouraging words and awesome tips! Very helpful:) I know this is irrelevant to this week's theme, but I still wanted to post something. It might even be able to contribute to my story for next week:) Sorry! Dawn broke the darkness that snuck behind the towering mountain peaks, the sun slowly rising above t...

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Philip Clayberg
20:18 Mar 10, 2021

Oh, that's weird. Your February 23 story draft appeared in the thread after I'd already responded to your March 1 story draft. I was about to start reading it and responding to it when I looked at the message's date. I hope it's okay that I'm not reading and responding to the February 23 message (since that version of your story is already out-of-date) ... beyond this message, I mean.

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Philip Clayberg
01:27 Feb 24, 2021

I like this second draft even better than the first draft (even if it might not seem like it from the length of my editing comments). I added some additional paragraphs of my own to the end of your story; feel free to keep them or discard them. Your choice. My editing comments follow: , and wasn’t very impressive. [you didn't need the comma] And she had to go there. [I'm not sure that "And" is needed. I think it works better without it. It's more forceful. It sounds like there's no option. She *has* to. Or maybe say: "She knew s...

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Megan Stone
03:27 Feb 24, 2021

Awesome!!! Thanks!:) I know I didn't take all of your suggestions, I just wanted to see how it would turn out. I also added a few things; let me know if I should remove them. I liked your additional paragraphs! I kind of changed them up a bit, but if you don't like what I did with them just let me know and I'll change it back:) I know this is irrelevant to this week's theme, but I still wanted to post something. It might even be able to contribute to my story for next week:) Sorry! Dawn broke the darkness that snuck behind the towering moun...

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Philip Clayberg
05:08 Feb 24, 2021

That's why I call them "suggestions". The author can take them or leave them. I don't want the author to think, "Oh, I have to follow *every* suggestion he makes, because obviously he's an expert and he's always right." I would rather have the author to think, "Hmm. I might not agree with every suggestion he made, but they do give me some good ideas on how *I* would edit and rewrite my story." As far as what I added to your story, you are free to do with them as you please. After all, this is *your* story, not mine. I remember a long ...

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Megan Stone
05:32 Feb 24, 2021

Yes, that makes sense. I'm glad! After all, it's all because of you;D (Pulls blanket around shoulders; grins) It's only 10:30 here, but I still have things tomorrow haha But my brain isn't really working right now, (do I even have a brain? probably not) so I'm not sure if this is really much better than the last one, if any better at all haha As the sun’s rays slowly peaked above the horizon, the pale colors of dawn broke through the pitch-black darkness and revealed the overwhelming, jagged mountain peaks. Eliza stood by the open window ...

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Michael Hayes
12:12 Sep 23, 2021

Any plans for a sequel?

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Megan Stone
14:22 Sep 23, 2021

Hm...Perhaps. I have been thinking about it, but I haven't quite gotten the chance to begin working on it. I think I might!

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Nyx ⛥
16:11 Jun 07, 2021

I really like your profile pic!

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Megan Stone
19:59 Jun 28, 2021

Thank you!

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15:09 May 29, 2021

Omg so cool! Awesome description, really. It sounds like you cut out a page of a novel (a really GOOD novel, I mean!). Rando Writing Prompt: Write a story where things happen according to the seasons.

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Megan Stone
19:58 Jun 28, 2021

Thank you! Ooo, I'll see what I can do!

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Megan Stone
19:58 Jun 28, 2021

(Also I'm SORRY for how late I was :'))

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Rayhan Hidayat
18:25 May 19, 2021

A palanquin with wheels, pulled by horses? So... a carriage? 😂 I can’t believe I havent checked out one of your stories yet. There’s no conclusion here, but I guess that’s because this is supposed to serve as a sort of first chapter. The imagery is solid but what struck me the most was the characters. Eliza is full of wit. I love her! Her mother is refined, though not too much that she loses her humanity. The mother-daughter dynamic has hints of complexity, which is great. I know you wrote this ages ago but I’d hate not to leave a comment!...

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Megan Stone
19:02 May 19, 2021

Yeah, a carriage 😂 They hadn't been made at that point, until then so I thought it was kinda fun haha Yeah basically a first chapter sort of thing, you got it! Eeeeeeee thank you so much!!!! I really appreciate it :D Oh dang, sorry to break it to you Brightlord.....I WISH I'd have drawn my pfp!! I ain't a very good artist, I just stole that from the internet 😂😂😂 (But the writing is original, I promise!😂)

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Rayhan Hidayat
19:13 May 19, 2021

Oh I see! I just think it’s a bit strange that she lives in a time period where pianos exist but not horse-drawn carriages... 🤔 Oh no, I meant like Shallan is a good drAwer, you know? (We’re still roleplaying, right?) I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that image on the wiki before anyway haha I think I’m logging off now, it’s hella late here—til next time Brightness!

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Megan Stone
19:31 May 19, 2021

Spoiler: ~It's not Earth >:] OoooHhHh I'm an idiot 😂 (Absolutely, I'm sorry I'm just so sleep deprived and I like don't have a brain-) My bad YvY Oh okay, g'night! 😂

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Rayhan Hidayat
20:03 May 20, 2021

It’s not earth?? I hope this is a full-on novel, got me kinda interested!

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Megan Stone
22:19 May 20, 2021

Ahaha I mean obviously it has to be something close to Earth because everything can't just be the same....... Idk, I'm still figuring it out XD

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Angelina Jeong
18:12 May 17, 2021

What an amazing story :)

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Megan Stone
22:44 May 17, 2021

Wow, thank you so much!!! :D

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Isla Wren
20:33 Mar 04, 2021

Thanks for the follow! I enjoyed this mother daughter duo! I can picture Eliza at the piano. One area I would love to see you develop a bit more is “ She filled the music with passion and emotion, and embraced the last echoing notes as she finished.” Is there a way the story could ‘show’ the reader the passion and emotion without just telling us it was there? I think that could be a really beautiful moment! Also, kudos for writing something with multiple installments - I haven’t been brave enough to undertake that!

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Megan Stone
22:00 Mar 04, 2021

No problem! Thanks!:D Yeah, I wasn't really sure how to describe the music and the sensation in writing.... I'll have to work on that. Thank you!:) Ha ha, thanks! It's fun, you should totally do it!

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Mary Kate
16:31 Feb 25, 2021

Hi Shallan Davar- I recognised this name straight away! I love Way of Kings and Shallan is my favourite character (along with Lopen and Rock) :-)

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Megan Stone
17:47 Feb 25, 2021

Yay!!! Finally, 3 people now have recognized my name!!! I loooove Shallan, (And Lopen and rock haha) I can't choose who's my favorite though, they're all just so amazing! Though if I had to choose, Wit is pretty amazing;)

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Mary Kate
06:20 Feb 26, 2021

Yeah, Wit should be in it more. I just finished reading Dawnshard- lots of the Lopen in that. And how fab to finally get a Rock POV in Oathbringer! :-) Next onto Rhythm of War...

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Megan Stone
16:29 Feb 26, 2021

I know, right! It's awesome.. ;)

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Izzie Q.
21:43 Feb 24, 2021

Hey Megan! Wow, this story was super fun to read and kinda made my day! I can't wait to see more stories!! So, how are you? How was your day? I'm in a snowy area right now but it was so warm today that the snow HAS ACTUALLY STARTED MELTING! I was able to go outside without wearing gloves omg

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Izzie Q.
21:43 Feb 24, 2021

whats your fav kind of weather?

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Megan Stone
22:06 Feb 24, 2021

Wow, thank you so much!!! :D It's basically the same where I amXD My day was okay! I'm doing alright... I mean, I'm always tired and I'm kind of lonely sometimes but it's okayXD Ahhh that's a hard question! I really like all of the seasons, especially spring and summer cuz it's warmXD But the fall and winter are soooooo PRETTY!!!! And I love fall when I can cozy up in a sweater and a blanket on the couch:) How about you?!

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Izzie Q.
22:09 Feb 24, 2021

Awww yes I LOVE fall! It's probably my favorite, I just love the colors and the aesthetic of it haha and my favorite weather would totally be either rainstorms or when its snowing! I could watch falling snow forever :) today was good, thank you! i have this zodiac app that was like "you should feel depressed today, the stars demand it." and i was actually fine! take THAT constellation app!

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Izzie Q.
22:10 Feb 24, 2021

wait no, I was a little depressed because I ate brownies and they had WALNUTS snuck into them!! Bummer, healthy brownies are not my thing :D do you have a food you HATE? whats a dessert you love?

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Megan Stone
22:15 Feb 24, 2021

Haha i know right?! It's so amazing:) Hahaha that's hilarious!!! good jobXD awww that's too badXD

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Megan Stone
22:08 Feb 24, 2021

Honestly I got kinda scared when you said my name, I'm like how does she know my name?! But then I realized it's in my bioXD

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Izzie Q.
22:10 Feb 24, 2021

pffft no worries, that happens to me all the time haha, i forgot that people read bios lmao! sorry if i gave you a scare! not a stalker, I swear :D

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Megan Stone
22:15 Feb 24, 2021

XD I was like thinking OMG SHE'S PROBABLY LIKE SOMEONE FROM SCHOOL OR SOMETHING AHHH REMEMBER but then I was like oh... the bio -.- XD

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Izzie Q.
22:20 Feb 24, 2021

Oooh yeah, speaking of school, are you going back in person or staying digital? I'm going back in-person on april 8th and AHHH I'm so excited! I literally bought tons of shoes and clothes impulsivley because i wanted nostaligic feels haha did you ever do back to school shopping in the past? I like to make it fun XD

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Amazing story Shallan!

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Megan Stone
22:49 Feb 23, 2021

Thank you very much!!! 😁

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Of course! If you don't mind, would you kindly check out my 100th story?

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Megan Stone
23:05 Feb 23, 2021

Of course!

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Megan Stone
23:14 Feb 23, 2021

Anytime, and thank YOU!!!(:

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20:39 Feb 24, 2021

You are very talented!

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Megan Stone
20:41 Feb 24, 2021

Wow thank you so much!:D So are you!(:

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21:29 Feb 24, 2021

Thank you!

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Rayhan Hidayat
19:26 Feb 23, 2021

omg give Kaladin his boots back already

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Megan Stone
21:49 Feb 23, 2021

I WAS STARTING TO GIVE UP HOPE TOT THANKYOU SO MUCH aaahhhh And I'm sorry, they're just so comfy...

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Rayhan Hidayat
04:51 Feb 24, 2021

Me too, I was worried there was a shortage of Knights Radiants on Reedsy lol. I’m guessing Shallan is your favorite character then. Mine will always be Jasnah 😉. So, favorite book? And please no spoilers for book 4, I’m only halfway through lol

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Megan Stone
05:09 Feb 24, 2021

Aahhhh me too!! Nah, I just figured I'd use that as a name. I mean, Kaladin is like, the best, but so's Dalinar, Jasnah, Syl, PATTERN especially..... ahhhh if I had to choose, I'd either choose Pattern or Wit. They're all SO amazing, especially in their own ways. I mean the first one is the first one, so obviously it's amazing, but like.... man, Oathbringer was probably my favorite. And don't worry, you're ahead of me!! I'm about a third of the way through Rhythm of WarXD

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Rayhan Hidayat
04:49 Feb 25, 2021

Ahh I completely forget about the spren. Syl is literally the most adorable character ever. And Pattern’s social awkwardness is hilarious—“No mating!” Oh and Lift. That girl does not give a damn about anything and I love her for it. I hope you didn’t miss out on reading Edgedancer (like I almost did lol) Ooh I can’t decide between Words of Radiance or Oathbringer. Szeth vs Kaladin gave me chills. But so did the Battle of Thaylen Field. You’re right, everything is awesome in their own way. Have you read the other cosmere books btw?

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Megan Stone
15:31 Feb 25, 2021

Ahhhhh I can't even tell you, Lift is so amazing! I haven't had the chance to read Edgedancer, but my dad has, and he's told me a few things. I will definitely read it though! And honestly I agree. That battle just.... AAHHH I connected on a spiritual level T-T Both of them And I only discovered the cosmere about a year ago, so I've only gotten to Stormlight so far:/ But I've read most of Elantris, and once I'm done with Rhythm of War then I'll read Mistborn. How about you?

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