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Black Friday is the one day of the year where the Devil makes selling your soul a good thing, although there are some bizarre T’s & C’s.

Posted in Thanksgiving on Nov 24, 2023

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✍️ 22 stories

Scratch Cupcakes

Submitted to Contest #226

Middle school sucks! My mom told me not to use that crude word unless it was for emphasis.  It sucks hard.  I don’t know if I know what that means exactly, but things went from bad to apocalyptic since Black Friday at my school.  But you are asking, “Kids aren’t in school on Black Friday, Josh” and you would be correct. That is one reason why my story is beyond bizarre.  Hi! I’m Joshua Carpenter.  I attend Daniel Webster Middle School, in Brunswick, Connecticut, seventh grade.  Go Paladins!  I am a dece...

28 likes 12 comments 12
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VISE News Real Talk: The Art of Soul Swapping

Submitted to Contest #226

New research proposes a radical solution for the estimated 13 million people who unwittingly lost their souls in last year's Black Friday mishap. While Hell isn't offering refunds anytime soon, a soul swap isn't out of the question, says Sam Ackerman, sole author on the study and CEO of ExoSouls.His paper, titled "Devilish details: A sparse Bayesian learning framework for enhancing the ExoSouls algorithm," is published this week in Chaos: A Nonlinear Journal of Translational Science.In it, Ackerman claims to have unraveled the 2-for-1 soul s...

21 likes 14 comments 14
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Friday 13 January 1939-Black Friday

Submitted to Contest #226

“On [Friday 13 January 1939] it appeared that the whole State [Victoria, Australia] was alight. At midday, in many places, it was dark as night. Men carrying hurricane lamps, worked to make safe their families and belongings. Travellers on the highways were trapped by fires or blazing fallen trees, and perished. Throughout the land there was daytime darkness… Steel girders and machinery were twisted by heat as if they had been of fine wire. Sleepers of heavy durable timber, set in the soil, their upper surfaces flush with the groun...

19 likes 9 comments 9
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Bargains of the Damned

Submitted to Contest #226

The bitter wind howled through the narrow alleyways of Stonehaven, a small town nestled between rolling hills and dark forests. As the first light of dawn broke, the townsfolk stirred, their breath visible in the frigid air. It was Black Friday, a day like no other in Stonehaven, a day when the Devil himself came to town. Legend had it that every Black Friday, the Devil opened a temporary shop, hidden in the heart of the town. The shop’s facade changed every year, blending seamlessly with its surroundings, making it nearly impossible to fin...

16 likes 9 comments 9
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Souls-A-Swappin’: An Alexis Chatt Novel of Paranormal Romance as by Anita Brake, AKA J.D. Robbed, AKA Martin Ross

Submitted to Contest #226

Disclaimer: A sequel to “Hearts A-Pfishing: A Romance as by J.D. Robbed”Chapter 12Atlanta, GeorgiaAlexis adoringly poured Dvlknsh another cup of hemoglobin-infused Mozambique AA, stroking the spot where the Latvian mob had ripped a patch of hair and scalp from the Syburslovenian hacker to create a clone capable of doubling Dvlknsh’ plagiarized output.The genetic doppelganger turned out to be encoded with probing psychological insight, and when it killed off half the male population of Cherry Stream (the Virgin River clone that regularly topp...

16 likes 13 comments 13
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*Terms and conditions apply

Submitted to Contest #226

The email goes to my spam but I open it because it is addressed to me by name: Dear Mr Faust, Here at Hell Telesales, it is also Black Friday and we have the deal of a lifetime for you! Please tune in tonight to Hell Telesales to see our range of irresistible products and for a chance to seal the deal of a lifetime! Yours sincerely, Mateo Mephistopheles, President and Senior Presenter at Hell Telesales Pushing back the creaky-wheeled office chair, I stretch my legs and yawn. Jeez, where do they get these marketing campaig...

15 likes 8 comments 8
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Family is. . .

Submitted to Contest #226

Matilda glanced nervously back at her car. Maybe she should just go home? She had driven as far out of the city as she could, twisting through country roads until she found what she was looking for. Now she was here, and all she felt was heavy embarrassment. She was a sensible adult human, attending a sensible college to finish a sensible bachelor's degree. Sensible women did not dabble in the occult. Yet, she took the box from the right pocket of her oversized coat. "This is stupid," she said, as she knelt in the center of the cro...

14 likes 6 comments 6
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Rejection to Redemption

Submitted to Contest #226

Rejection to RedemptionCal was thankful for nothing on Thanksgiving Day. He had less to be thankful for the next day, Black Friday.----------“I’m done, Cal.”“What are you talking about, Marcie? I told you I was sorry.”“I’ve had it. You’re the most inconsiderate, uncaring, selfish person I’ve ever known. Goodbye, Cal.”----------“No, Cal, my mind is made up. You’re fired.”“I don’t understand…”“Your business ethics suck. You are the most dishonest person I’ve ever met. I got three more complaints about you this morning. And you’ve offended eve...

14 likes 1 comment 1
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BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!! HUGE DISCOUNTS ON YOUR SOUL!!

Submitted to Contest #226

"Welcome to Hell, please take a seat in the waiting room down the hall." I frantically turned my head. I was in more of a tunnel than a hall. Claustrophobically small, near-pitch-black, but just visible enough to see something at its end. "How did I get here?" I cry out, unable to move a muscle. "Please proceed to the waiting room," said the ominous voice from nowhere. It was a cheerful, carefree female voice. I had to crouch to move forward. I couldn’t see a thing. “AH!” I screamed, running forward, unable to stand properly. I con...

13 likes 0 comments 0
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Carpe Diem

Submitted to Contest #226

Archie Wellbeloved was a mess, emotionally and physically. His name didn’t fit for a start. Exasperated at his lack of get up and go, his girlfriend had got up and gone herself. That same day he’d been laid off work; some hacker had raided his bank account and he was skint until the bank sorted it out; his hair was a mess; his clothes unkempt, and his trainers looked like a pair of exploded tyres. Much like the deflated tyres on his car as he gazed down at them in undisguised bile, an unfortunate product of the neighbourhood in which he live...

12 likes 7 comments 7
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Click-Clack

Submitted to Contest #226

Chloride, Arizona 1880 The scorpion crawling over his face brings Dustin Racklin back to consciousness. Wheezing, and hacking up blood, Dustin realizes he’s near death. He recalls being ambushed, shot in the leg, side, and through the lungs by two sidewinders and a boy he called his kin. Dustin had robbed the one o’clock stage out of Jacinto along with Deke Drummond, Deuce Railey, and JoJo. The calculating, thirty-eight-year-old Deuce was a dandy, but also a master planner, and twenty-eight-year-old, foul-tempered Drummond lived to see...

12 likes 2 comments 2
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SPAM

Submitted to Contest #226

Caution swearing.Read at you're own risk...I loved my new glasses. The thick black frames lounged on my nose. The plastic arms touched, not clutched. The lens allowed my peripheral vision to relax. My eyes watered a little but they had to no longer try, try real hard to read. I could even see a large protruding, unplucked hair on my upper lip! I did not have to rely so heavily on my tactile sense or memory, or my hearing to inform me of my blurry world.After drinking a couple of coffees and finding my last cigarette filter, from crawling on ...

12 likes 5 comments 5
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Temptation: Terms and Conditions

Submitted to Contest #226

Marcus stood hesitantly in the doorway and scanned the bar. It was pretty quiet - just a lone bartender wiping the counter and a scattering of players bent over pool tables. A solitary booth was occupied by a lone but instantly recognizable figure. Before him two fresh, foamy beers graced the table. His silhouette shrouded in shadowy darkness, though his eyes gleamed crimson. In his hands smoke curled from the end of a fat cigar. His sharp nails tapped the table with rhythmic impatience.   Marcus paused, one foot on the threshold o...

10 likes 1 comment 1
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The Bargain

Submitted to Contest #226

The death of Terry was the final straw for Bert. Once again, life had short changed him. English Bull Terriers were supposed to live for more than a decade. Terry Bull only made it just past his sixth birthday. If that wasn’t bad enough, Terry checked out with what the vet referred to as complications. Translated into layman’s terminology, this meant that the vet was going away for two weeks all-inclusive and Bert was footing the bill. Soon after Terry passed Thanksgiving reared it’s fat and ugly head. A holiday of excess enjoyed...

10 likes 2 comments 2
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Only One

Submitted to Contest #226

The advertisement promises the Ultimate Black Friday event.   ***  Come to Jerome, AZ to have your wish fulfilled by Lucifer himself. Only one soul from all wishers will be forfeited to the devil. The more people that participate, the more will get a free wish. Don’t miss your opportunity to have your dreams fulfilled.   ***  Thousands of people descend on Jerome. There is a constant stream of cars, but no slowdowns. There are no accidents. There is no shortage of parking spaces, or pumps for gasoline. There is no line...

10 likes 2 comments 2
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