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Write a story from the point of view of a big cat — whether that’s a lion, cheetah, etc., or just a chunky pet.

Posted in Funny on Feb 24, 2023

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✍️ 48 stories

Dammit Tibbles

Submitted to Contest #187

I am the legendary Dammit Tibbles, the mightiest huntress who ever lived. Fear me, all ye lesser creatures. In truth, “Tibbles” is just what I've let David call me. I don’t care a dropped whisker for his calls, so it doesn’t matter if he calls me Tibbles, or Chunky Dumpling, or Babaganoush. It isn’t like I’m going to answer to any of it… though, when he eventually expanded it to “Dammit Tibbles,” it amused and flattered me on a deep level which I cannot quite explain. I know it is the ultimate compliment, because I'm kind of a big deal in hi...

95 likes 123 comments 123
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King Leo

Submitted to Contest #187

Meow, I’m Leo, a Maine Coon. From Cochin. Don’t be confused. Just know that I’m a white-brown king living with a brown bloke in a red brick house.There are two other furballs around. I presume they were brought home before me as an experiment. They are little round Persian cats. Again, from Cochin.Still confused? I assume you are one of those losers who just giggle and go aww… at our viral videos but don’t bother to look up our history. If so, just get off my story! I don’t want to do anything with someone with zero curiosity.I’ll give you a...

40 likes 31 comments 31
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Blacktop and the Bucket Babies

Submitted to Contest #187

Blacktop and the Bucket BabiesName's Blacktop. Gender neutral 'cause who could tell when you're five weeks old. Right? Not all that original or cutesy for a kitten but that is what I am. White on the bottom...now you understand. Could have been 'Boots' for my white paws or maybe 'Stache' for my milky mustache but you get the picture. Oh, and that is also where I picked out my people - on a blacktop road. I had spent the hot August day wandering way too far from my birth barn and mom. Had this forlorn, bedraggled look about me. Could have bec...

30 likes 13 comments 13
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Staring at the Lawn Muffins

Submitted to Contest #187

CW: Swearing, a fat cat, drop-kick ex, some defecation, frogs...“I can’t take any more of this shit,” The Man says and walks out the door, slamming it behind him so hard the windows rattle and several of The Hellions begin to cry.The Lady gathers The Hellions into a pile, and they weep and wail, holding onto each other in a heaving heap of misery.While I don’t desire to exit as dramatically as The Man, I too cannot cope with the level of negative emotion in the room, and I flop off the couch and saunter outside to stare at the lawn muffins.#...

26 likes 7 comments 7
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Talulah

Submitted to Contest #187

Talulah Fat? Oh, the indignity of it. Sometimes I think these humans actually don’t realise that I understand everything they say. They clearly don’t understand me, so I suppose they think ignorance is a two way thing. But to call me fat…. I am nicely rounded and my fur is thick and lustrous. I am altogether a very beautiful girl. They tell me that all the time, usually punctuated with ridiculous chirpy sounds and cooing. I stalk over to the mirror, I’m rather good at stalking, if I do say so myself. In the mirror I see my perfectly symmet...

26 likes 8 comments 8
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Cat GPT

Submitted to Contest #187

Oh c’mon, really? Another one? I am not supporting this, I’m just not. I didn’t complain, at least not too much, when you brought home Cooper, that fat lug of a cat, I even grew to like him, well at least his body heat when we snuggled. I accepted Humphrey, that big goofball of a labradoodle, didn't I? I did. You know I did, even though my water bowl smells of dog. Labradoodle, hah, how trendy are you with your hybrid, breeder bought animals? Don’t you know that a rescue animal is the new “it” pet? I guess ...

24 likes 19 comments 19
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CatWalk

Submitted to Contest #187

“I will never understand why I must go on walks with you. It is quite unseemly.” “Don’t be silly. You know they only want us to be one big happy family. We must do things together and be close to one another. You are much too self-centered, you know. And we both could use the exercise, if you don’t mind me mentioning it.” “Me?! Ridiculous. I am a large cat; I’m not supposed to be skin and bones! I simply know what I deserve and wish that this family, as you call it, would understand that I deserve much more than a companion like yourself.” “...

22 likes 6 comments 6
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Meow

Submitted to Contest #187

Curled like a giant fuzzy prawn, he slept. Nicholas (AKA Big Nick, Nicky, and His Nicholasness) completely filled the soft cat bed and spilled over the edges, even though the bed itself was billed as Large, and described as “a roomy rest for your most formidable feline.” Nicholas weighed upwards of twenty-five pounds, and carried it well. He was old enough to have developed dignified aplomb, which was only enhanced by the fact that his belly hung close to the ground these days in spite of his impressive height. But he was young enough to s...

22 likes 8 comments 8
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Master Onyx's Project

Submitted to Contest #187

“Lewis?” Master Onyx whispers searching for his counterpart. It's 0400 and his dad is still tucked snuggly in his bed.“Lew?” he calls a little louder. His dad flips over tossing one long leg out from the covers. MO knew that his dad couldn't understand him. To Syd, all MO's vocalizations were mere mewing, only the animals in earshot could truly interpret the language.However, MO didn't want to wake Syd yet. He needed time to start his project, so he held off calling for Lewis again until he made it to the home office. Entering the small...

21 likes 6 comments 6
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Abominable encounter

Submitted to Contest #187

Shorttail roamed the rocky, snow-dusted terrain of the Himalayas, his sharp blue eyes searching for prey. His thick gray fur protected his magnificent form from the icy winds that blew spitefully at him. The bristling hairs rippled in the breeze, like waves in the sea. Sharp snowflakes landed on the tips of his ears and melted into droplets of moisture. He had honed his hunting skills over many years in these mountains, but with no one to share his triumphs and victories with, he felt a deep loneliness. He paused, sniffing for the slight sce...

19 likes 4 comments 4
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A Tiger's Tale

Submitted to Contest #187

Being born a Hindu, reincarnation is an important part of my belief, and by some miracle, I have a memory of what’s happening to me. In my past life, my name was Advik, and I was a simple merchant who sold my wares to anyone with a few rupees in their pocket. During my lifetime, I tried to be fair to my customers, and I was doing well, but Vishnu, the protector of the world, must have thought differently. As I passed from my old life into the cycle of samsara, I found myself not to be reincarnated as a person, but as some beast yet unknown t...

19 likes 11 comments 11
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The Cat Burglar

Submitted to Contest #187

I do believe I am a living oxymoron, a fat cat burglar. When I mentioned this to my criminal colleagues, they just laughed and called me a fat moron, which I find highly impolite, not to mention politically incorrect.Of course, it is well known that some people of the overweight kind can be remarkably agile, and that is how I have managed to ply my trade all these years without being caught even once.As for my underworld companions, they shrugged and told me that everyone gets caught eventually, and that the main reason I haven’t yet is that...

19 likes 14 comments 14
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The Magnificent Maron Maloney - Part 1/4

Submitted to Contest #187

The Magnificent. Rolling into Pondaroak. Benzie’s Discovery. Taika Maru, a strikingly beautiful Bengal tiger, lolled in her cage, lazily watching rhododendron trees go by as the rickety wagon exited the forest. “Pondaroak,” she heard the guide say. Seated in the wagon’s pilot chair, Maron Maloney, a lanky Gaelwyn man with an impressive handlebar mustache with waxed, curled ends, said, “Ha! And as you promised, long before dusk, ranger. You’ve earned your commission and then some. I’ll see to it you’re rightly compensated once we reach the Sw...

18 likes 9 comments 9
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The perfect present

Submitted to Contest #187

That horrible white stuff isn’t there anymore, but I am not sure I want to go outside. The stranger slides open the glass door, looks at me and points at my territory but I can’t believe that it’s going to be any different to the last two days when my stomach sank into it, and I could feel icy wet all along. I could hardly lift my legs. I look up at the stranger and refuse to move. Oh dear. The body goes in and out and there is a lot more fur on the top of the head than on my human. Then my fears that this is a female are confirmed when she...

17 likes 3 comments 3
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Kill Bill

Submitted to Contest #187

I’m jarred awake by the sound of glass shattering; the backdoor window pane, to be specific. I remember the same noise from last month, when Dummy accidentally threw a football into the house. The chatter of shards bursting onto the kitchen floor was that of a busted dam; the pressure released itself in a violent rush of backdoor hail. He got it fixed quickly, of course, to prohibit me from going outside. So, I haven’t really forgiven him. “Shhhh!” Someone says, as if hushing works retrospectively. “What the hell, Rachel, I thought you said ...

17 likes 1 comment 1
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