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Start your story with someone receiving a one-star review.

Posted in Dark on Oct 25, 2022

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✍️ 51 stories

Black Four Seater

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

TW/CW: Some cussingSeller’s Rating: 🌟For Sale: $4500 Firm, 1985 Buick Grand National GNX**Please read the entire ad before you inquire**The time has come for me to sell my 1985 Buick Grand National, and before you give me any shit about selling an actual legend of a car, just keep reading. Especially you Barbara Jean, this is not an invitation for you to come on my property again, you white trash, homewrecking floozy.If you find it necessary to message me to ask for more pictures of the car and its blemishes you should know that there is no ...

58 likes 86 comments 86
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The Microwave

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

“ONE STAR?!?”  “What now Cindy?”  “That damned food critic from The Commercial Appeal. He gave the restaurant a one-star review. That asshole!”  “What’d he write?”  Cindy murmured unintelligibly as she skimmed the newspaper. “The fried chicken was of obvious low quality with generally bland flavor, the collard greens were drenched in oil (and not in a good way), and the sweet potatoes tasted fresh…from the microwave.” “What the hell! Earl, we don’t even have a microwave in the kitchen!” Cindy huffe...

58 likes 47 comments 47
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Ratebook

Submitted to Contest #141

“No, it’s Ji-wi-an,” Jillian repeated herself to the beady-eyed woman sitting behind the glass at the county clerk’s office. “That’s what I said, Ma’am,” the woman gazed up at Jillian, revealing her irritation, “Jiwian Wester.” Jillian heard two little girls behind her giggle, clearly eavesdropping on her conversation. She turned around to see what-must-be their mother, grinning at her, not stopping her daughters from ogling at Jillian. She felt like a circus act. Jillian felt her eyes well-up in tears. “Ji-wi-an Wester. Not Jiwia...

36 likes 16 comments 16
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No Returns Policy

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

Buyer's Bazaar Message Screen:RE: Listing B34781 - Silver box with sun and moon detailBoxMaster360'I'm not taking it back. I said no returns. Check my shop policy. Check the listing.' Clive_London'The description left key information out. You mis-sold the box to me.'BoxMaster360'The listing was accurate. Every detail was correct.'Clive_London'The listing failed to mention what I would see in the mirror. I think that's quite an important detail to overlook.'BoxMaster360'I don't know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with the mirror.'Clive_...

34 likes 45 comments 45
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Psychological Putrefaction

Shortlisted for Contest #141 ⭐️

(T/W Mental Health/Gore)There it was in section 13A of the Times, a one-star review given by Mrs. Marlene Whatley.  I pulled the paper close to my face so that I could read the tiny print. I read aloud, “Ed Bulwer takes us on a depressing, self-indulgent journey to nowhere.” My blood was boiling.  I couldn’t read any further than the critic’s opening line. “That fucking bitch!” I screamed as I slammed my fist down against my plastic seat.I quickly buried my head in the paper as I realized I had attract...

31 likes 23 comments 23
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Sailing Towards the Stars

Submitted to Contest #141

Exactly thirty one minutes after Clark Butler left his home for work, his internet was rocked by a terrible keening. The soul piercing wail rippled across the entire digital sea, scuttling diligent packets as they shipped data from here to there, and hammering the ports with a torrent of orphaned pings.Fridge lurched out of its low-power reverie mid-snore, and in the excitement loosed a single ice cube which clattered to the floor. Embarrassing, perhaps, but Fridge was no spring chicken and age allowed certain indiscretions.Clock’s second ha...

26 likes 32 comments 32
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The 3 Ways to Eat at the Memorial Restaurant

Submitted to Contest #141

One star. I recently went to the memorial restaurant down by Madison & 24th.  As I walked in, I was handed a menu. It read the following: ____ The Memorial Restaurant: Pick your serving of memories for the day! Some of your memories are like stars, some are like meteorites, others are like planes. Which one would you like to visit today? Planes Inflated, artificial. A light inhalation of smoke wisping off a joint - a fishing pole casting a line of smoke. Bait, hook, and sinker. A big gulp of something bitter. Pretending it ...

22 likes 4 comments 4
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The Final Assessment

Submitted to Contest #141

"One star? Are you serious? We're assessing by stars now?" In my ten years of teaching, I had been given feedback in person, peer review, and quantitative test scores of my students but stars were new to me. "Ginny prefers stars. We accept all forms of feedback here." Tricia Patterson, the head of the parental board, said matter-of-factly. I shouldn't have been surprised. I knew my last day as lead instructor at Sunnyvale Friends School would have its hiccups. I didn't realize the hiccups would lead to a total career seizure.And it star...

20 likes 6 comments 6
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King Kone’s Revenge

Submitted to Contest #141

Kyle Cleaver shakes the cobwebs out of his head, slowly opening his eyes.            He’s in a small room with a concrete floor. Tools hang on the walls and lay scattered on workbenches. Pieces of a disassembled lawn mower lay piled up in a corner.            A record player sits on a nearby card table. Several dog-eared albums are stacked against it.            Kyle’s heart race...

15 likes 5 comments 5
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Nana's Cat Sitting Services, INC.

Submitted to Contest #141

Isabella pushed her swiveled chair away from her desk and stared at the screen with dismay and a tinge of anger. One star!! Her work had been rated one star by her very first customers.Had she lost a cat or left one in a sickened state, she could see the rating as justified. Had a cat been malnourished or abused, Isabella would have expected criminal charges to arise. Had she damaged the home of the cat owners or thrown kitty feces around, Isabella would have expected non-payment. But this?! This was unexpected.This review was seriously goin...

14 likes 12 comments 12
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Up Up and Midway!

Submitted to Contest #141

MidWoman tapped at the blinking band on her wrist. She blinked back at the new notification. There it was, a one star! And the comment began with ‘The ill-fitting costume didn’t inspire confidence…’She fumed as she loosened her belt with a ridiculously big M for a buckle. She had an inkling the old pervert would do this to her. He shouldn’t even have been there at the rendezvous.That meant she had to meet TheBoss.She knew she was not in her prime but had she lost her sheen completely?She teleported to a deserted alley. Took a deep breath. An...

13 likes 4 comments 4
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Enigma in a One-Star Town.

Submitted to Contest #141

I couldn't believe what I was looking at. As I continued to read, I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins. Very expensive. Didn't understand the food. Why did I pay $50 for a small piece of meat, red wine sauce, and "black truffle dust?" Small portions and over priced. Service was good tho. 1 Star. I had been in the restaurant industry my whole life, so the occasional poor Yelp review was nothing new to me. But this? This was the first Yelp review in my first restaurant after opening night. This review was the first thing that a...

13 likes 2 comments 2
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What's Lizards Got To Do With It?

Submitted to Contest #141

‘This was by far the most egregious conjunction of sounds and syllables that my eyes have ever observed!’ “Did you hear that Tiff? They even ended it with an exclamation mark. Do you know how upset someone has to be to purposely leave an exclamation mark?” She was fiddling with the free packets of sugar. “I wish you wouldn’t read reviews while we’re out to eat.” “Well the waiter is taking decades to bring our food, I could only sip on this free water for so long.” “Do I not exist? Am I a crocodile that can stick out its tongue?” Paul's ...

12 likes 2 comments 2
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SONATINA

Submitted to Contest #141

‘SONATINA’  by Jim Johnston “Dominick Rosetti presented his composition, Sonatina no. 6 for two accordions, bassoon, and untuned banjo at P.S.122 last weekend as part of the ‘Young Composers Series’ before a small audience of new music cognoscenti. Less likely to be recognized as ‘music’ by the average listener, his piece is an awkwardly arranged collage of disagreeable sounds that lurch and meander along until, gratefully, they come to an abrupt stop. You enter Mr. Rosetti’s sound world with trepidation, since, from the opening bars ...

12 likes 6 comments 6
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Little Miss Grudges

Submitted to Contest #141

Arthur pouncing on the halls irritated Miss Guthrie even further, the pen snapping at her hands, the legal files in front of her held only in its perfect, flat form by the hands of Miss Dinsly who, after ninety-eight years of working under the hotel matriarch, knew by instinct how papers with one-star reviews could not withstand the forces of mental exertions her boss could produce once engulfed in rage.“Read me that review,” Miss Guthrie said as she stood up, marching towards the double oak doors of her office.“Well, Ma’am, I—”“Arthur!” Mis...

11 likes 3 comments 3
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