Write about someone who critiques things for a living, or acts like they do.
Posted in Character on Oct 26, 2022
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✍️ 35 stories
“Foodie Heaven” by Howard Halsall
Dear Reader, It’s with a heavy heart that I must report the ‘Queen of Culinary Criticism’ has left the building for the last time. I’m struggling to continue in her absence, despite my formidable reputation. It was she who provided the zest that made my weekly article so entertaining. My final despatch is both a farewell to you and a dedication to my dear wife. Very few food enthusiasts knew of Pamela, but fans of my column may recall mentions of ‘my lovely companion’ or ‘dearest Mrs Guillemot.’ #Reginald Gu...
“To the point of disgust-” by Lark Malloy
Part 1 I've developed a deep hatred for a boy in my class. Ugh, I don't know where to start. Have you ever met anyone that is just so triggering that it's hard to look at them? I have, and his name is Aaron Diaz. I have no idea what boys do to keep their hair tidy, but neither does he. H...
“HOOK!” by Cindy Strube
HOOK!Gotcha, didn’t I?They say you should always start with a good hook, so that’s what I did. And it worked. You’re still reading.(Who are “they”, those incognito authorities on every topic from aa to Zyzyxia lundelii?Or, in this case, from fishing to literature?Because both of those involve hooks.)Since we’re already using the fishing metaphor, let’s determine an appropriate set...
“One Man’s Opinion” by John K Adams
Gerald went into his favorite coffee shop to write his theater reviews. Some cafés are about the food. Gerald went for the coffee. Coffee was his thing. He really liked coffee. Black. No. You don’t understand. He lived for coffee. Let me put it this way. Gerald was a caffeine addict. Gerald was how caffeine got around each day. He wrote poems about coffee. No one read his poems. They were a labor of...
“Humanity On Trial” by R. Sadeh
We were asked to give our disquisition on humanity. So here it is. This shall be brief. It’s not the first time we’ve been asked about our position on the creation of man. Our stance was unanimous. We still think they’re hostile. Belligerent. They were a primitive race light years ago. Racing against the sands of time to evolve. To prosper. To adapt in a world that’s truly fitter without them. And now, they have perished. They are forgotten. Their memory has long been woven into the fabrics of space and time. This is an assessment of thei...
“Tome Travel” by Graham Kinross
The arrogant cat had been on Arnold’s nerves for hours. It was long past the ‘getting on’ stage. The cat was plucking at his nerves as if he was a violin and she was a murderously aggressive violinist. “If they’re not a cat, then they’re not a real god,” she insisted, licking her black paw. “That’s a very bold statement,” said Arnold, clanking as he dusted one of the exhibits in the ...
“The View from the Tree” by Rama Shaar
“What in the name of Forest happened to you?” Birdie exclaimed when she saw Birdo flying towards her with a bent beak and ruffled feathers. “Stupid humans and their stupid squeaky clean windows!” Birdo hissed, “what else?” Birdie laughed so hard, she almost fell off her branch. “How many times have I told you to be careful?” she said trying to stifle her laughter, ...
“A destructive fame” by Akram Ait
“Each of us has a role in his society, and I will reform mine.” This was the famous sentence of John, the social critic, who carried on his shoulders the responsibility of reforming his society through his pen, but will things go as planned by John? Or the winds will run as the ships do not wish? John woke up early, carrying many goals inside his head, that he would put under his microscope, to start crit...
“Suicide Critic” by Fred Aiken
I don’t know how I got into what I do. Don’t ask that question. But, I mean, who really does, you know, know what they wanted to be when they grew up? I certainly had ideas and aspirations when I was a kid. I still do. It would be nice to be the first abstract expressionist to go to space and get to paint Saturn a different shade or two. I also wanted to punch a koala in the face. Not for no reason. I g...
“Participation prize” by Stina Henrietta
They are smiling, all of them. Why do people do that? Why do people smile even though it's obvious they're nervous? Why are they pretending to feel joy before the verdict has been made? Isn't that what smiling is supposed to be about? Joy. As if he won't be able to see through the facade if they just smile big and kind enough. Honestly it's rather annoying, maybe even a bit pathetic. John thinks this every time of course, but he doesn't say anything out loud. When he told his wife about his contemplations, she had spun around from the kit...
“Gut Shot” by Joseph Registrato
Gut Shot You know the thing about praising the writing first, then coming down a bit gently on the trite, redundant, irrelevant parts, or more commonly, the parts that make no sense at all? I thought it was kind of a universal principle among editors, an accepted practice in order to avoid having their would-be writers run off to law school or someplace worse, although it’s hard to imagine a place worse...
“A Critic Critiqued” by Rebecca Stack
`Darling, Darling, what on earth do you think you’re wearing?’ says Greta scowling in sheer disgust at her fully grown niece `Clarissa that’s simply ghastly, it doesn’t go together in the slightest. You have shocking dress sense.’ Clarissa simply shakes her head and walks off, she’s learnt to take no notice `this is classic Aunty Greta’ she thinks disgruntled by ...
“A Death Of A Critic” by Andrej Sirin
I know how. The sheets stinks. Its me. Its my life. My urine, and the damned sweat. The bed's drenched with it. My feet reek of dead corpses, they're... not mine! My toes are cold. On the left, on the right, at the rear of this goddamned bed they're gathered. Sad, distant people. Some relatives with blank faces I don't care a bit about. Another three or four disappointed persons I used to call friends. We've got a...
“Metamorphosis ” by Lisa Naughton
Most people would agree that a teacher’s job is to encourage and nurture their students. Most people would agree that a middle school language arts teacher should encourage creativity and self-expression. Most people would agree that all teachers should encourage their students to love learning and that it is the teacher’s job to get the most out of each student, recognizing each student’s unique talents and gifts. ...
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