Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

Stories (128)

128 Stories

4016 karma pts

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“After the Final Curtain” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #201

After the Final Curtain“The best thing to hold on to in life is each other.”      - Audrey HepburnThere’s an interesting thing about magnets. (Aside from how the heck they work in the first place.) Held one way, they repel. Flip one, and they cling together. That’s odd.----------Unless you happen to be destined to grow to be 6’8” tall and run and jump like a gazelle, the odds are you won’t like your job, as in it’s a fun thing to do. It might be tolerable, pay the bills, give you a sense of pride in your work, a...

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“A Far, Far Better Thing...Really?” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #200

A Far, Far Better Thing…Really?                      “You should not honor men more than the truth." - PlatoCursed by a moment, plagued by an image, and torn between two loyalties, the torment persists. Friendship, love, conscience, and truth swirled around in my brain, engaged in a debilitating battle that could have no winner. Why must I suffer for that which I did not do? Images planted in the mind take root, grow with the passage...

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“Old Biddy Gossip Garble” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #200

Old Biddy Gossip Garble (Some off-color humor.) Gladys: “Martha, how’s choir practice coming along? I hear the new Music Director that Rev. Barnes hired is quite charming.” Martha: “Yes, I guess, he’s pleasant enough.” Gladys: “And, if I can add, a handsome fellow.” Martha: “I guess, he’s ok.” Gladys: “What’s wrong? You don’t seem too pleased with him.” Martha: “Well, he doesn’t seem to know too much about religious music, and in just three weeks he’s already playing favorites. That conniving little sycophant Clara Matthews hasn’t stopped...

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“A Match Made in Heaven” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #199

A Match Made in HeavenHenry made ordinary people look extraordinary. He was as nondescript as they come- 33 years old, medium height, slightly overweight, thinning hair, 1 and ½ years of college, no accomplishments in the field of sports, the arts, or any other measurable aspect of human endeavor. He lived in a two-bedroom apartment with a high school buddy, drove a Ford Focus, managed a shift at a small auto parts distributor, watched a lot of TV, and had dinner with his mom every Wednesday. There wasn’t a single thing that…oops,...

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“Bio” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #199

Bio(Trigger warning: Crude and likely offensive humor, suggestive of a sophomoric mind; think Beavis and Butthead…or worse; pre-apologies to all.)Doug- handsome, debonaire, confident, athletic, and charming; Wally- not so much.“I’m telling you, Wally, I think tonight will be your night.”“I don’t know, Dougie, I don’t feel comfortable in those situations. I never know what to say to a girl.”“That’s why you’ve got me, Wally. Let’s go.”---------- Wally and Doug sat at the bar like two kids in a candy store.“What do you think, Wally, see an...

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“Meh and Bleh” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #198

Meh and Bleh( Language) It was as certain as the sun rising in the east or old man Parker’s dog barking at the moon. Every first day of school for Mr. Livingston’s thirty-two years of teaching 6th Grade at Lincoln Elementary would begin the same way. The students stood at their desks, recited their names, and gave a brief description of their families, their pets, likes and dislikes, and any hobbies. He believed it was a beneficial exercise for both himself and all the students.Mr. Livingston thought he was seeing double- two boys, iden...

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“Woot” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #198

Woot “Miss Jenkins, could you please bring in the next candidate for the 10th Grade English teacher position?”“Please sit down, young man. And what is your name?”“Woot.”“What?”“No, Woot.”“What?”“No, not what. It’s Woot, sir.”“Miss Jenkins, can you help me out here?”“I think he’s trying to tell you his name is Woot, Mr. Carsons.”“What?”“No, not what, Mr. Carsons. I believe his name is Woot.”“Thank you, Miss Jenkins. Your name is Woot?”“Yes. Actually, it’s Woot Jr., sir. I come from a long line of Woots. Since my dad is a Woot, I’m Woody to my...

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“Hercules Shrugged” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #197

Hercules Shrugged“Are you coming to church, Wally?”“Yes, I have a special intention.”“No, Wally, you can’t do that.”“Why not, Gladys? If you can pray for your beast of a sister to recover from her big toe surgery, I can ask for a little nudge to get Junior headed in the right direction in life.”“Wally, you can’t ask God to get your kid to play football. Besides, it’s his life. You have to let him do what he wants to do, allow him to pursue his dreams.”“Gladys, the kid is 6’2’’, weighs 215 lbs., and runs like a freaking gazelle. And he’s just...

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“Psalm 23” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #196

Psalm 23“In three words I can sum up everything I know about life; it goes on.”-       Robert FrostLeaving the station“Dad! He’s been accepted!”“That’s great, honey. Uh, who…and accepted to what?”“Ryan’s been accepted at Madison!”This was good news. Ryan was Rachel’s good friend in high school, and knowing that she would have support in her next stage in life was comforting for Dad. Rachel was a tough kid…sometimes…about some things. But Dad knew she had great anxiety over leaving home and entering one of t...

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“A Simple Act of Kindness” by Murray Burns

⭐️ Shortlisted for Contest #195

A Simple Act of Kindness“The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”-Amelia EarhartRule #1- Four downs to get the ball across the goal line (telephone pole); no first downs.Rule #2- Pass rusher must count three “Mississippies” before rushing the quarterback. (No cheating.)Rule #3- No catching the ball on a bounce off the side or roof of a garage.Rule #4- If football goes into Mr. Radtke’s yard, leave ball, run home, and the kid responsible for sending the ball into the forbidden zone shall endure th...

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“Gort Gets The Short End Of The Stick” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #194

Gort Gets The Short End Of The Stick(Crude humor) Ming: “I have another special assignment for you, Gort. It’s an important part of my plan to conquer the Universe. I pulled your name out of a hat, so you get the first shot at this great honor. It’s hardly brain surgery, so even you should be able to pull it off.”Great, lucky me.Ming: “But it could be dangerous. Are you willing to volunteer for the job?”Volunteer? The last time I didn’t volunteer for something I spent a year in the stockade.Gort: “Of course, Merciless One. It is an honor to ...

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“Battling the Windmills of the Mind” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #192

Battling the Windmills of the Mind"Remember me with smiles and laughter,For that is how I will remember you all.If you can only remember me with tears,Then don't remember me at all."-Laura Ingles WilderBad times weigh more than good times. They are more embedded in the mind than happy memories, especially if planted early in life. Happy writes in pencil; sad uses a Sharpie. Charlie will attest to that. ----------People accumulate stuff throughout their lifetime. Then, someday after they’ve left this world, some poor soul will have ...

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“The Home Run” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #191

The Home Run                                                    “Regrets, I’ve had a few                                 &...

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“Henry Serves It Up Cold” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #190

Henry Serves It Up Cold(Perhaps a tad bit crude in places.) Courthouse clerks, robotic beings by instinct and training, are not necessarily known for their sense of humor.“Did you hear the one about the guy who wanted to change his name?”“I hear that all the time, sir. That’s what we do here.”“Yeah, but you gotta hear this one.”“Fine, but make it snappy.”“So, the judge asks the guy what his name is now. He says his name is Joe Shits. The judge says he can certainly understand why he wants his name changed, and then asks him what he wants it ...

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“The Seduction of Herb” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #188

The Seduction of Herb“So, what’s the catch?” Even the Party of the First Part was surprised at the quick response, the ease with which the words were spoken, void of any serious consideration of the required consequence. The implication of the message from the Party of the Second Part was that all prior elements were agreed to.     “There’s no catch, Herb. That’s the deal, straight up. You get everything I’ve promised in return for your immortal soul.”“That’s it? There is no catch?”“That’s it, Herb.”Slick black ...

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Author bio

Dartmouth, then Law School followed by years in mind-numbing law practice; now have more time to write. "Brevity is the soul of wit."

Shortlisted 2 stories ⭐️

Contest #195
A Simple Act of Kindness – read story
Contest #170
The Rosary – read story