Blane Britt

“The Measles” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #53

It was supposed to be the summer of my first love. I was invited to attend Camp Anderson a Christian Retreat and Summer Camp that is centrally located in North Florida on the incredibly beautiful Suwannee River. The Programming and Facilities included a rustic yet modern, climate controlled accommodations, espically fun activities, exceptional food service and a staff that consists of skilled ministry professionals. What really made that camp unique is that team members have the heart of a missionary and are passionate about partnering with ...

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“Oh, How My Melting Popsicle Changed My Life” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #53

Everyday the sound of the Ice Cream mans truck would play that same old song "Ice Cream" by Andre Nickatina (essentially just "Turkey in the Straw" with bass). It was about 104 degrees in the shade the day my mother finally decided that I was worth a popsicle from the Ice Cream Truck dude. I was about 6 or seven years old at the time. The line to purchase my first orange popsicle was as long as some of the lines to sign up or resign up for Public Assistance. After my purchase I had to run for my dear life. 3 members of the elementary Kolo...

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“Cottage Dreams and Strange Fairy Tale Encounters” by Blane Britt

Fred and Lucy, Brandon and Susan and Belinda and I wanted an escape from this fast-paced society, we craved solitude when vacationing at this remote glamping rental cottage, nestled near the Mohonk Preserve in New York, it was an ideal place for us wanting to take a peek back into Fairy Tale land time. That country cartoon looking cottage sleeps six, allowing for the perfect spot for fairy tale history buffs like the 6 of us to congregate and share our experiences. Then there’s the cottage itself. Far removed from city life, this cottage of...

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“A Mental State of Affairs” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #53

I'm walking in 4 feet of white snow with a pinch of yellow here and there and I can no longer feel my toes. My face is frost bitten and I’m feeling like a human Popsicle.  Yeah, being homeless on the coldest day of the winter in Cleveland is as serious as a homeless panhandler trying to swindle a Chiquita banana from a homesick lonely orangutan monkey at The Franklin Park Zoo in Boston. Cleveland the big mistake by one of the Great Lakes. I'm trudging on in spite of a wind chill factor of 22 below zero.  I got to thi...

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“Biazorro World ” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #52

Acrophobia is an extreme or irrational fear or phobia of heights, especially when one is not particularly high up. It belongs to a category of specific phobias, called space and motion discomfort, that share both similar causes and options for treatment. Every year in Biazorro World someone is chosen to do something that you wouldn’t do in a normal world, whatever that is.   Well that’s where I reside at, today or yesterday or even the day before yesterday or Sadie Hawken’s day or Elmer Fudd week or the day before the deceased President...

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“It's Alive!” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #52

It’s alive was the first thing that came to my mind when I seen Juan Ortega one of Mexico’s most violent drug cartel leaders happily walking across the street from me while I was on vacation in Acapulco, Mexico. The classic line from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. My heart began to beat so fast that I thought it would burst. Not from fear of the dead, but from making a mistake after a kill to actually see if the victim was truly dead. I’m an experience assassin sniper working for the D.E.A. (Drug Enforcement Agency) for over 25 years. The t...

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“Why Me?” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #52

I’m quite sure that many adults have heard of Men In Black or at least the three movies. In popular culture and UFO conspiracy theories, men in black are supposed to be men dressed in black suits who claim to be quasi-government agents who harass, threaten or assassinate UFO witnesses to keep them quiet about what they have seen. It is sometimes implied that they may be aliens themselves. The term is also frequently used to describe mysterious men working for unknown organizations, as well as various branches of government allegedly designed...

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“Baby Jane Doe and Me” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #52

While living in Cleveland, Ohio in 1978. I had experienced firsthand the 3rd worst blizzard in the United States. More than 122 winters have come and gone since the “Great White Hurricane,” of 1888. Considered the worst blizzard ever, that storm immobilized New York, Boston, Cleveland, Maine and other major cities, blocking roads and wiping out telephone, telegraph and rail services for several days. When the skies finally cleared, fires and flooding inflicted billions of dollars of damage. The disaster resulted in more than 9,000 deaths, in...

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“Finding the Meaning of Life While Looking Up at the Stars” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #51

I can’t say that I know anything about astronomy. Historically, famous astronomers and their contributions have paved the way for new theories. For over 10,000 years, astronomical writings, philosophies, beliefs and theories have been found in every corner of the world. It is amazing how certain beliefs began in one area of the world, only to be proven (or disproved) many years (sometimes over 1,000 years) later. Looking at the stars to me helps us to keep perspective that whatever we think is so important and overw...

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“Slimedog Superhero with Superpowers ” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #51

What I’m about to share with you just might be a surprise, but not my German chemist idols Robert Wilhelm Bunsen a German chemist who, with Gustav Kirchhoff, about 1859 observed that each element emits a light of characteristic wavelength. Such studies opened the field of spectrum analysis, which became of great importance in the study of giving human beings superpowers from the Sun and Stars and also led me almost immediately to the discovery of two alkali-group chemicals like cesium and rubidium. I realize this scientific kind o...

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“Rufus T. Rutherford Private Eye” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #51

When I got to my investigation office, my receptionist shouted at me that Rufus I just took a call from the State of Florida, they need you to solve the cases of infants being kidnapped.  The Attorney General of Florida said, he'd give you a blank check if you could stop whoever is doing it.  I gave my overly excited girlfriend Gry a big hug and told her she's just a little emotional because she's pregnant. Don't play with me Rufus she screamed.  I handed her one of those home pregnancies test I purchased at CVS Pharmacy....

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“The Peace Corps Ain’t What you Think” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #51

I’m what you would consider a former army brat. My  Airforce Colonel dad made a career in the armed services. I lived in so many different cities and countries I don’t remember all of them, especially the years from 0-5 years old. After graduating from George Mason University located in Fairfax, Virginia. I was effectively allured into joining the Peace Corps. I truly believed that joining the Peace Corps straight out of college was a great idea. I’d have the unique opportunity to be fully immersed in another culture. Hopefully, I...

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“Braddock, Pennsylvania” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #51

My Great, Great Grandfather returned from the civil war a broken and mentally haunted battered man. You see he was accidentally forced to kill his own brother during the American Civil War that was a civil war in the United States from 1861 to 1865, fought between northern states loyal to the Union and southern states that had seceded from the Union to form the Confederate States of America. The civil war began primarily as a result of the long-standing controversy over the enslavement of Black people. In fact, it was the economics of slav...

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“e Chase” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #50

The first movie I ever saw on the big screen was the movie starring Steve McQueen at the Drive-in theater Bullitt in 1968. Even though my father was so much as a cheapskate and him being a miserly stingy person especially who thrived upon to avoid paying a fair share of costs or expenses even for his 11 children more than the Walton family on popcorn or soda’s from the snack place who would not have considered being absolutely poor even under United States standards. Even when I decided to live in the poorest city in the world Kins...

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“Sapiosexual” by Blane Britt

Submitted to Contest #50

I basically had a temper tantrum because I accidently burned her grilled cheese sandwiches and she was trying to give me advice and be helpful. I slammed the spatula down and told her that she could do it explicitly herself and went to our bedroom with thoughts of mentally, spiritually and intellectually killing her.I tried in vain to explained to Mrs. Rolanda Outhouse that I have issues with me being sapiosexual. I’m someone who is sexually and mentally turned on by smart people.Yet she’s so physically beautiful that even dudes and chicks i...

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