The Virago

Arecibo, Puerto Rico - 1869

Rafaela lay in her rickety cot watching a roach skitter along the stone floor of her cell. She drew her coarse prison-issue coverlet to her chin, unsure whether the chill she felt came from the brisk January wind that blew through the bars or the moans and sobs that reverberated throughout Arecibo Prison. 

Two months had gone by since her capture and sentencing, the penalty of death for treason and sedition, for taking part in El Grito de Lares. Most of her compadres were raped and tortured with the worst treatment reserved for the leaders of the rebellion. Those whose spirits had not broken were finished off by illness stemming from the harsh conditions of their imprisonment. Rafaela herself had bouts of vomiting and diarrhea whenever she was able to bring herself to eat the rancid, fly-ridden bowls of food that were shoved into her cell. Her hours of solitude made her think far more than she’d ever had the chance and she smiled when she thought of how dismayed her husband, Roberto, would be about that. He already felt she thought too much and about things that were not befitting of a woman. In fact, Rafaela had been mortifying her well-to-do family for as long as she could remember.

***

Rafaela’s mother forever admonished her for her wild ways as a child. The Betances-Ramoses were a proud family of high renown, the first having come over with Cristobal Colon himself by order of Queen Isabella. To comport herself any way other than a lady was a direct slap in the face to Rafaela’s descendants. When she agreed to marry banker, Roberto Colon, the family was relieved the young lady had finally settled down. Rafaela liked Roberto. Though he was very straight-laced around her parents, Rafaela found him to be fun and sensual. She blushed thinking of the honeyed declarations he whispered in her ear each night they were together. Declarations that became gloriously fulfilled promises once the couple exchanged vows. He was a good provider and a passionate husband who claimed to love Rafaela’s spirit, especially beneath the covers. 

Three years and two children later, Roberto’s enthusiasm began to wane. They moved to Lares and Rafaela fell in with the impassioned literary set. She would often come home late and regaled her family with the poetry she’d heard and the conversations that took place.

“You are a wife and mother, Rafaela, you need to think of your family as much as you do philosophers and rebels!” Roberto scolded her.

Rafaela was enamored of the suave and intelligent doctor Ramon Emeterio Betances ever since he visited her father’s home when she was a child. The man had his hands full keeping her father’s slaves from succumbing to cholera, but the ideals he voiced while dining with the family mortified Rafaela’s mother. 

“He can’t really be buying slave children before they’re baptized and setting them free? The very idea! Why can’t the man leave well enough alone? Who would work the fields and mind the children if our slaves were freed?”

Her father simply brushed him off as an eccentric. “I don’t like paying extra taxes on imports either but declaring independence from Spain is a bit extreme.”

Rafaela thought he was wonderful and when she ran into him in Lares she soon discovered she was still entranced by the man.

***

“Rafaela?” 

She shook her head and glanced at the door. She was so deep in thought she didn’t realize she had a visitor. She swung her feet to the floor and smoothed her hair, knowing it would do no good. As a prisoner, she was not allowed anything that could be used as a weapon, which included hairbrushes, pins, and combs. 

“Good morning, Roberto, or is it afternoon? It’s so easy to lose track of time in here.” She laughed.

Her stone-faced husband was no longer the dashing figure she remembered. His dark curls started to gray and deep pockets formed beneath his eyes. Even his golden skin appeared ashen. It was then Rafaela realized how much her imprisonment affected her family.

“I don’t know how you could laugh at a time like this, Rafaela.” His voice was gruff. “My wife in prison, a traitor to the crown, and for what?”

“For what? Roberto, haven’t you been paying attention? What crown? Spain threw us to the wolves, they don’t care about us. Puerto Rico needs to be her own independent nation. Like Doctor Betances says, ‘No one can give others what they don't have for themselves.’ I did this for us, for our children.”

“Hang Betances, the cretin is a madman and a traitor! He has tontas like you poisoning guards, attempting to murder high-ranking officials, terrorizing villagers and where is he now? While you rot in a jail cell scandalized, he’s run off to New York no less. You’re being put to death for his crimes!”

Rafaela bristled and tears sprung to her eyes. “Don’t you dare say that. Ramón is a good man. He wasn’t happy with the conditions of our existence and decided to do more than grumble about it.”

“Ramon now is it?” Roberto sniffed and rolled his eyes. “Rafaela, no one is happy with the conditions of our existence but no sane person tries to overthrow the government over it!”

Rafaela leveled a look at him. “So what do you intend to do about it?”

Roberto’s eyes flashed with a fire his wife had not seen in years. “The streets of Puerto Rico are no longer safe. The bank has closed its doors on the island and is sending me to the branch in Madrid.” 

Rafaela blanched. “You’re leaving, but what about the children?”

“Tomas and Gabriela are coming with me, as is Luisa.”

“You’re taking Luisa with you?” 

Rafaela thought of the woman whose corset was larger than her attention span and snorted. Roberto’s eyes and hands had wandered over the form of her nubile cousin since before they’d married. She doubted he waited for the lock to click on her cell before the two finally consummated their relationship. 

“Our children need a mother and I need a wife. Luisa has been doing very well in drying the children’s tears and soothing their heartache in your absence.”

Rafaela folded her arms across her chest. “And what has Luisa been doing for you in my absence, mi amor?”

Roberto sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I can’t do this, Rafaela, I won’t do this. What you’re doing is unfair to me, to all of us.”

“Well, you’ll have to. We can’t get a divorce, it’s a sin against God!” 

“So is a woman abandoning her duties as wife and mother!”  He hissed.

Rafaela couldn’t believe it. Roberto was really leaving her and for some mindless spit of a girl! How could he do this to her, to their family? How could he not see the importance of what she tried to do? Yes, things looked grim now but when people became too comfortable with their plight, nothing can ever be done to change it. Doctor Betances had said so!

“I’ve spoken with your father and there’s a way we can end the family’s suffering.” Roberto was saying now. “He’s contacted a well-known doctor in New York who has agreed to come examine you.”

“A doctor, for what? I’m not sick.” Rafaela pressed a hand to her stomach, which gurgled its dissent.

Roberto shifted his eyes to the wall behind her as he continued. “This doctor will be able to say that you are of a weak mind. You were led astray and not fully aware of what you were doing when you took part in the rebellion. Your father thinks the doctor can get the authorities to release you into his care.”

“Released into his care?” Rafaela gaped. “You think I’m crazy, you all think I’m crazy.”

Roberto’s face darkened and he snarled, making Rafaela leap away from the bars. “You abandoned your family to become a revolutionary! What else are we supposed to think?” 

“It isn’t going to work, Roberto. They won’t grant me my freedom just because some doctor says I’m crazy.”

“They will allow the doctor to take you to his sanitarium. This way you won’t be executed and may someday gain your freedom.”

Rafaela shook her head violently, the blood rushing to her ears with a roar. What was he saying? A sanitarium? She knew they didn’t always understand her but her family was going to have her committed for this, and she was the one who had lost her sanity?

“Even if you did lock me away in one of those places, you still cannot get a divorce. The church won’t allow it.”

Roberto turned his gaze towards the ceiling now, making extra effort not to meet his wife’s eyes. “The doctor will say there is a history of insanity on your father’s mother’s side that your family kept quiet to allow the marriage to go forward. Our marriage will be annulled.”

Rafaela couldn’t breathe; it was as if her husband had punched her in the heart. She tasted bile but by some miracle, she did not lose her stomach. Her legs were numb and she found herself sitting on the floor. 

“Roberto, you can’t.” She whispered. “Does our marriage, our love, our children mean nothing to you?”

Her husband finally met her eyes. “In Spain, the children can go to good schools and improve their prospects. They can lay their heads on their pillows at night knowing their throats won’t be cut while they sleep. And I will be able to leave for the office knowing the children’s welfare will be taken care of. This above all means the most to me. You say you acted for the good of our children, Rafaela, let me do the same.”

***

The doctor came, as promised, a short man with a thin mustache and beady eyes. He spoke to Rafaela slowly and quietly as a pair of guards glowered at them through the bars. The sound of his voice irritated her and she had to resist the urge to lunge at the man who would take her hundreds of miles away from everyone she knew. One glance at the hulking guards calmed her nerves, there was no point aiding the myth of her deteriorated mental state any more than was necessary.

Once the doctor left Rafaela lay back on her cot trying to stave off a headache. She couldn’t believe this was happening. It was no surprise that her family was appalled, her husband angry with her perhaps for her actions, but she never expected them to turn their backs on her. Were they so close-minded, so separated from the people that they could not see their plight? How could they not understand the oppression they faced or was she just a fool? What Roberto had said about Dr. Betances disturbed her more than his revelation about moving to Spain with Luisa and the children. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Where did Ramon disappear to anyway? Most of her fellow revolutionaries had been jailed, tried, and convicted but their leader seemed to have disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Rumors circulated amongst the cells that he had been assassinated while others said he was in New York, Hispaniola, and France rallying people for their cause. All Rafaela knew was he was free and she was left to rot in a jail cell.

***

Another visitor? Who could it be? She daren’t hope it was Ramon. He would be crazy to come here, but no after a few moments, a familiar shuffling sound announced the arrival of Rafaela’s grandmother. She rushed to the bars and grasped the old woman’s hands, bony but strong, as she waited for the guard to open the door and let the woman in. 

“Abuela, you shouldn’t be in a place like this!” She admonished her grandmother as she guided her to sit on the cot.

“Neither should you, mijita, but here you are.” The short, wizened woman looked at her granddaughter squarely and asked, “Was it worth it?”

Of course, it was worth it! Rafaela thought. So her family thought she had lost her mind. So she had lost her husband. If they truly loved her they would understand what she was trying to accomplish. Yes, her children were leaving the country and she might never see them again. She could only imagine the poison Roberto and Luisa, along with the high born of Spanish society, would feed to her children about her over the years but they would understand when they grew up. They would see that she was part of an effort to grant Puerto Ricans their independence and the ability to stand on their own feet as a strong people! But as Rafaela held her grandmother’s gaze her face crumbled and she collapsed into tears.

“Oh Abuela, what have I done? I’ve lost everything! Mother and Father want to ship me off to an asylum and Roberto is taking my children and running away with Luisa!”

Abuela held Rafaela to her, rocking her and stroking her hair until she stopped sobbing, just as she did when she was a little girl. Once she quieted the old woman spoke.

“You and your friends have caused a lot of trouble these past few months. I cannot believe you could be part of something so vicious!”

Rafaela raised her tear-stained face and shook her head. “But it wasn’t supposed to be that way! Something happened. I don’t know what but there wasn’t supposed to be so much death! We just wanted to make our voices heard, to stand up for ourselves and our people.”

“No amount of violence should be acceptable to make a point. You use words, not fists, to make your voice heard.”

Rafaela leaned against the cold stones and closed her eyes. Her headache was returning. “Maybe the family is right, maybe I am crazy.”

“Maybe you are but your efforts were not in vain. While many condemn your actions, they do understand the reasons for them. Since you’ve been here there have been many articles in the newspapers and protests about the high taxes and poverty. It is said the crown is so embarrassed by what has happened in Puerto Rico that they may free all the slaves.”

Rafaela leapt to her feet, overjoyed. “Abuela, that’s wonderful news! What about independence? Will they allow us to be our own country?”

Abuela frowned. “Not that I’ve heard but perhaps in time. That is why you must continue the fight!”

“Abuela?” Rafaela blinked. The older woman seemed more radiant somehow, her eyes dancing as she looked upon her granddaughter.

“There is no need for violence, of course, but you must not stop trying to make things better for our home. Like you, I have never liked the idea of slavery but I have never spoken out against it. Women just don’t do that but you, mijita, you saw the chance to make things right. You didn’t leave it to the men and I am proud of you!”

Rafaela threw her head back and laughed. “But I am a failure as a woman. I am losing my husband, my family, I am nothing without them!”

“They are nothing without you, Rafaela.” Abuela smiled. “Let Roberto run off with that puta! The children need their mother, which is why they are staying right here with the family.”

Rafaela gasped hearing such rough language coming from her tender, God-fearing grandmother but laughed at the way it slid from her tongue like silk.

“I don’t understand. I thought I was being moved to a sanitarium? I just saw the doctor from New York this morning.”

“Oh, that was Roberto’s idea, and his friend coincidentally, but your father put a stop to that. He told the doctor if he did not leave the island immediately he would use his influence to discredit him.”

Rafaela gaped at her grandmother. “Father would do that for me?”

The old woman rose and took her hands gently. “Your family loves you, Rafaela, and we stand by you. Your mother has taken to her bed in her usual hysterics but she will live, we all will. So long as you do what you feel is right in your heart, we are here for you!”

Rafaela was suddenly conscious of her filthy rags and odor as her silk-clad grandmother crushed her to her bosom. Tears sprung to her eyes as the woman’s love flowed through her. When they pulled back from each other, she saw tears shining in Abuela’s eyes too.

“Be brave.” She whispered before walking out of the cell.

“You too,” Rafaela whispered back.

END