7 comments

Fiction Mystery Thriller

1 August, 9:13 a.m.


morning Georgeous Gorge,

are we still on for tonight with your parents?

--


Yep, its locked in. dinner at 7

I’ll pick you up around 6

--

Ok, great. Im so excited!


11:48 a.m



Omg, work sucks today!

Remember what i told you about Donna?

So annooooyyiiiinnng!!!

--

Lol suuuffeerr. Im having a great day

but cant wait to see u.

Love u Anna-banana-rama


3:13 p.m.



Oh you wearing your new beret tonight?

U should. It rly is so hot!

--

11:02 p.m.


Thanks for tonight, I had a great time.

It was so good to see your parents again xx

--

No probs, babe. They love seeing u too. Make sure to check in with them when im gone, they’d love the visit

--

Of course!

--

I swear that guy we saw tonight has the biggest crush on u btw

--

Caleb? We were friends in high school

but i always thought he had a crush on me too!

--

He was kinda weird

--

Haha youre just jealous! 

--

Haha maybe a little

--

He’s been gone for a few years now and i think he was just happy to be back and to see an old friend

--

yeah, maybe. Anyway, Im going 2 miss u so much!

--

I know! Me too!

But it’s only for a couple of months!

We can get through this! Youll be back soon.

And you better have a ring with you this time ;)

--

Lmaoo. Youll just have to wait and see wont u!

--

Haha even your mum was asking about it!

--

I need 2 go 2 bed. Early mornign tmz!

Good night.

love u Anna banana-rama

--

:( okay. Goodnight Georgeous Gorge. I love you.


2 August, 6:37 a.m



[missed call]


Sorry, I tried to catch you before you left

but must have just missed you.

Safe trip!

LOve, love, love you!


2:51 p.m.



just wondering if you have my beret from dinner

last night at your place?

I’ve got that girls night on the weekend

and i want to wear it again.

Its so cute!


6:52 p.m



[missed call]


[missed call]


I thought you were going to ring me tonight?


[missed call]


[missed call]


[missed call]


i know you get shitty signal sometimes

but i hope youre okay!

Talk tomorrow


3 August, 7:21 a.m



[missed call]


[missed call]


12:42 a.m.


OMG, DONNA’S GOING ON LEAVE NEXT MONTH! Yesssss


7:01 p.m.


[missed call]


[missed call]


Ok, youre kinda scaring me now.

I rang your mum and she hasnt heard from you either


8:10 p.m.


[missed call]


[missed call]


[missed call]


9:42 p.m.


Hey, Anna. I’m so sorry.

My car broke down and

I’ve been stranded at this hotel

that doesn’t have a phone

and the signal is terrible out here.

I haven’t been able to contact anyone.

I miss you.

--

OMG! I was so scared!! Is everything ok?

--

Yeah, I’m fine.

I had to stay at this hotel in the middle of nowhere.

It’s awful. It has those really thin pillows

and I woke up with biggest pain in my neck.

--

But I thought you took your pillow with you? I know you can’t sleep without it!

--

Oh, yeah, I did. Bring it, I mean.

I just forgot I had it in my pack and couldn’t be bothered to go to the car.

Anyway, I need to message some people to tell them

I’m going to be a few days late.

We’ll definitely chat tomorrow.

--

Okay then. I’m so happy youre ok!

Sweet dreams Georgeous Gorge


4 August, 8:28 a.m


Morning! Guess what?!?! Girls night tonight!


How did the chat with your workmates go?


10:15 a.m


Yeah, it went fine.

I told them that I will be late and there shouldn’t be any problems.

I’m going to be in and out of signal again today

so I don’t know when I’ll be able to message you back,

so have fun at your girls night.

--

:( I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow bright and early!

Well maybe not early or bright

i might have a few drinks haha!

--

Oh, i’m counting on it.

Tell me you love me before you go please.

--

You know I love you. Love, love, love!


10:13 p.m.


Having so mcuh fun Stil wish u wer here!


5 August, 12:42 a.m.


Omg just ate my bodywiehgt in food!!!


10:21 a.m


How’s your head feeling this morning?

You were pretty wasted last night.

--

Haha how would you know?

--

Haha I was watching.

--

I wish!

My head hurts but we’re going to the mall

for smoothies and lunch which will help


5:18 p.m.


How was the mall?

--

It was fun!

We ate, did some shopping, and then chilled at the park.

It was a nice day and i’m feeling much better now!

--

Sounds fun.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

--

It was just me and the girls

--

Really? Was that it?

--

Oh, we did run into Caleb again and he came to the park

--

Yeah? What was he like?

--

He’s really nice!

But he can be a bit intense sometimes.

I guess that’s just his upbringing though.

I remember him saying his dad was a bit rough


I think you were right though,

he might have a crush on me!

--

Yeah, maybe.

But what do you think about him?

--

I told you, he’s nice

--

No, I mean in the past.

Well, and now I guess.

--

Why does it matter?

--

Just humour me.

--

OK, just don’t get jealous!

He was part of our friendship group in high school

and I think he liked me then.

He was actually my first kiss!

But then he was always super defensive after that

whenever i’d be around other guys.

It was a bit scary sometimes

--

I think he always liked you

and wanted to protect you.

--

Yeah, probably.

Anyway, he left after high school

and he only just got back

--

So you might have dated him if he didn’t leave?

--

Maybe, I dont know.

Why does it matter?

I’m with you now and I love you!

--

Of course. It’s just funny how things work out.

--

Yeah, i guess. Why are you being weird?

--

Oh, sorry. I just miss you. That’s all.

Anyway, I need to go. Chat soon.

I love you, Anna.

--

Ok, love you too Georgeous Gorge


6 August, 6:12 p.m.


OMG I swear this house is haunted!

Last night and tonight I swear I saw a shadow

at my bedroom window!

--

Haha I’m sure it’s nothing.

I wouldn’t worry about it.


 8 August, 9:27 a.m.



[missed call]


[missed call]


9:54 a.m.



[missed call]


[missed call]


[missed call]


10:22 a.m.


[missed call]


George, me and your mum have been

trying to ring you all morning.

What is going on?

--

What do you mean?

--

Where are you?

--

You know where I am.

--

George, your work rang your parents.

You’re not there and they haven’t heard from

you since before you left.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

--

It’s okay, Anna. It will be all right.

--

What will be all right? What is going on?

--

Everything will be okay.

I love you, Anna.


21 September, 6:01 p.m.


[missed call]


[missed call]


I just needed to hear your voice.

I miss you so much


10 April, 4:42 p.m.


[missed call]


Sorry Anna. This is Pam. 

We just got George’s phone back and i was looking at it.

I didn’t mean to call you.


How are you doing?

We haven’t seen you in a long time.

--

hi Pam. I’m ok

--

You should come see us.

It will help

--

I can’t.

It hurts too much and it’s all my fault.

--

We don’t blame you Anna.

--

Well you should. I do.

He had a ring Pam

--


I know sweetheart.

--

If only i had never talked to him in the first place

--

You need to say his name Anna.

It’s the only way you can come to terms

with what happened and start to forgive

--

Forgive?

How can you say that?

How can you even think that?

I will never forgive him

--

Our pastor says its the only way we heal.

And if we forgive then he has the chance to

redeem himself in the eyes of God.

It is hard, yes, but I have begun to forgive Caleb

for what he did.


Whenever you’re ready, we’re here for you.

We love you, Anna.


February 25, 2023 02:04

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7 comments

Wendy Kaminski
02:51 Feb 25, 2023

Oh wow, well that escalated quickly! Excellent story, Jesse, seriously creepy and the whole time I was wondering what was going on, because "George" was acting so strangely ... not only on text, but not answering the phone, prying about Caleb. If I'm reading correctly, he killed George pretty early-on and was pretending to be George for at least part of that time? You do horror very well!

Reply

Jesse Glover
01:44 Feb 26, 2023

Thanks Wendy! Yeah, the intention was that Caleb got to George around the time he left and then impersonated him to insert himself into Anna's life, however briefly. I tried to signal that change through text/language patterns as well as the missed calls, but I think it might have ended up a little too obvious. it probably escalated too quickly in the end. It was a last-minute story though and if i had more time to think about it and plan I would have tried to build the tension a bit more. The idea initially was for Caleb to spend more actu...

Reply

Wendy Kaminski
02:14 Feb 26, 2023

"it probably escalated too quickly in the end. " - Oh, no! I thought it flowed fine, didn't mean it as a negative. Just was the jump-scare of the unexpected, which was cleverly disguised until you saw it, then it turned up the horror quite a bit! :)

Reply

Jesse Glover
10:40 Feb 26, 2023

Oh, okay great. I really appreciate your kind words! They mean a lot.

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Jesse Glover
02:11 Feb 25, 2023

Damn, If you can imagine it, this is supposed to be a text message conversation but none of the bold or left & right alignment formatting I had for this was preserved throughout the submission process, so it loses that structure :( And now I'm not even sure it makes sense. Oh, well. edit: I tried to add lines to differentiate between the two people but i don't know if it worked and i don't have time right now to work on a better way!

Reply

Wendy Kaminski
02:52 Feb 25, 2023

It was understandable! I hate the limitations of the Reedsy editor, too... so many great stories and it wouldn't let me format them like I wanted, so they ended up being slightly mediocre. But if you hadn't mentioned, I wouldn't have been able to tell there was an issue with this. The lines helped!

Reply

Jesse Glover
01:46 Feb 26, 2023

Okay, great. I'm happy that some of the intention with the formatting came through. On my Google Doc i had it laid out with left and right alignment so it would be like you were actually scrolling through a series of text messages, which I thought added to the immersion and atmosphere of the story

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