A Moment Like This

Where were you? I’ve called you about a thousand times, dinner is getting cold!

Sorry Hun, I was in the garage, looking at the bat.

What! Where’s the bat?

It’s hanging in the garage, I’ve just told you!

Why didn’t you get rid of it?

Are you crazy! I love bats. I will never get rid of them! How could you even expect that of me?

I am so disgusted!

What are you talking about?

I never thought that you are the type of person who would love bats!

Well, then I’m starting to wonder if you ever really knew me at all!

I guess I didn’t! I am so shocked! When were you planning on telling me about this?

I didn’t think that it’s such a big deal.

Of course it is! It changes everything! Every time I close my eyes I see you holding a bat and it makes me want to vomit! Don’t even get close to me! How many bats are there?

Hum… I think there’s seven. The other one wasn’t looking too good, so I got rid of it.

Good! That’s really good! I hope all of them start looking “not too good!”

Wow! Now that was totally uncalled-for! How dare you say those harsh things! They are my babies, I love them and they're just hanging there, not bothering a soul!

We’ll see about that hot shot! I will get rid of them before we all die!

What! Who’s dying? What are you talking about woman, are you crazy?

No, you are the crazy one bringing those bats into our garage. You better make a plan with them, I’m telling you! It’s me or them!

Please don’t make me choose between you and my bats. That’s just cruel!

Oh! So you would rather choose a stupid bat before you choose your own wife. What’s wrong with you?

Wow…wow, wait! I’m not choosing between you and my bats and just for the record, my bats are definitely not stupid!

Yeah? Well they will be once I’m done with them! I will destroy them or leave them in a deserted place where no one will ever see them again!

Calm down Beth. What’s gotten into you! I thought we were going to have dinner now?

Yes, that was the plan but who can eat anything in a state like this! I can’t think of anything else.

Are you jealous Beth? You know I love you the most, right? Let’s just calm down and eat some dinner. I’m sure we can sort 'whatever this is' out after dinner.

NO! NO! NO! We will not eat before you get rid of those bats for good!

Can you at least stop running around the house shouting! What are you looking for?

I am looking for that big black bag, do you know where it is?

I think it is in the guest room. What do you want to do with it? Don’t tell me you plan on leaving for your mothers’ tonight. Come on Beth, I’m really confused now. I thought you liked bats just as much as I do.

And what gave you that idea Mr.?

We talked about it about a week ago and we were both excited. You said “Whatever makes you happy makes me happy” remember?

No Tom! I definitely would have remember that! Are you joking around, this is serious and I’m not in the mood for jokes!

No, I promise. How don’t you remember this? I must admit, I feel a bit hurt to realize that you weren’t listening to me.

Ok Tom, do you care to tell me when exactly we had this very important conversation that I clearly ‘missed’?

We were both lying in bed, that night after we had the dinner party at your cousins’ house. Does that ring any bells?

Oh my goodness, Tom! How many times must I tell you not to talk about important decisions while I’m in bed sleeping! That’s what you do in a bed, remember? You sleep!

How was I supposed to know? You were laughing and talking. You seemed wide awake to me, Beth. Don’t play dumb now!

Ah! You can make me so upset! Just get out of my way so that I can clean up your mess!

You are making no sense here Beth! It’s harmless fun. I will take the bats out of the garage every weekend and during the week days I will let them hang in a place that’s out of sight. You won’t even know they’re here!

What don’t you understand, Tom? It’s all I can think about and I will not live here knowing those bats are hanging in our garage. I am going to call your mother, maybe she can talk some sense into you!

Don’t you drag my mother into this! I am a grown man, I can do as I please. Besides, she will be happy for me. You are really making a big fuss out of nothing! What are you looking for now?

I’m looking for something to take care of those bats in the garage! When I’m done with them you won’t even recognize them. Say goodbye Tom!

Holy hell, are you insane? Beth! No!

Tom, get out of my way! I won’t have it. What’s next? Gorillas in the backyard?

I am so confused and upset with your irrational behavior! You are acting crazy.

You will see ‘crazy’ in a few minutes once I find those bats. I will scare the life out of those… Those…

Those what, Beth?

Bats! Bat? Where is your bat? I will hit them right out the park with that piece of wood!

That’s what I’ve been telling you all night! It’s hanging in the garage! Now I’m really confused! What’s going on with you?

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh Tom. Ha-ha-ha-ha I can’t believe this. Ha-ha-ha

Can you please explain what’s…? Ha-ha-ha Oh wait a minute, this whole time you thought that I was talking about real, living bats!

Ha-ha-ha I thought you've lost it!

Yes, yes! Oh, I can’t stop laughing! Who ever thought we would be having an argument about hanging bats in our garage ha-ha-ha-ha. I don’t know what to say!

Ha-ha-ha! I say, dinner can wait! A moment like this, calls for a drink!