No, no, no, no!!! This is impossible!!!
2 hours ago
As Tasha rolled me off of the bed, I woke up and whined. “My goodness Just let me be. Please.” “No sleepy-head. Wake up!” She said right next to my ear. “Okay okay okay. Ugh.” It was Tuesday and I wanted to stay in bed although I was working at the World Trade Center. “You should be excited!” She said. “Well I just want to stay in bed.” I grumbled. “If I were you, I would wake up at like six! How could you not be excited!?” She asked. Now, she started to tick me off. “Could you just stop? Like for once in your life. Please stop talking.” I shouted. “Okay.” She sounded pretty surprised. “Thank you.” I told her. I went to wash. “Well I’m going to be on my way because I have to deliver the newspaper to the 72nd story office.” “Ok just hurry up and go please.” Finally I get to have some peace. I turned on the radio. It was 8:44 in the morning. Then I heard some kind of an airplane coming in really low. At first, I thought the plane was dong that on purpose but then BAM! I peered out the window and the World Trade Center was smoking like crazy! It must’ve been the plane! Holy Molly! It couldn’t be. Maybe I was dreaming. This was impossible! Then I thought of Tasha. “Oh no, oh no, oh no!” I immediately snatched up my phone and called her. She didn’t answer. “Come on answer your stupid phone!” I urgently called her again, but she still didn’t answer until the fourth ring. “Where are You!” I screamed. “I’m fine. I’m at an underground parking lot. There’s a lot of people here.” She said. “Stay right where you are and only move when you really need to. Okay?” “Kay.” I went outside to see the damage. It was not looking good. Smoke was filling up both the buildings North and South. People were screaming and yelling for their family members. I screamed for Tasha. Then I heard someone yelling, “Amy, Amy!” I pushed around the people that were standing in my way to get to the person that was shouting my name. I couldn’t stop it. I was like a fly that smelt rotten fish. I couldn’t stop going to Tasha. “Tasha!” I screamed back. “Here!” I then ran into somebody. That somebody was Tasha. “Thank goodness you’re safe. We have to go back home! Hurry!” As we were running for our lives, something shook like an earthquake. It couldn’t be. This was New York! Manhattan! There were no earthquakes here. Then I heard screams. Bone chilling screams. It sounded far away but there were lots of screams and it was coming from the towers. I made a huge mistake by looking back. I had lost time for running. “Run!!!” I screamed. My legs turned into jelly. Tasha and I ran. I tripped. I scraped my knees and hands. Although I had blood running from my hands, I didn’t have time to register the pain. If I stopped running now, I would get collapsed under the storm of dust. “Come on! Stand up!” Tasha screamed at me. The storm monster was creeping up on us. Our house was about a block away from us. Then we decided to make a mad dash for it. I guess we both had adrenaline in our blood because we were running so fast like American Maurice Greene. Though we were super-fast, we couldn’t beat the dust devil. The pressure was so great that it knocked both of us down. We screamed. We screamed until the dust monster stopped. I couldn’t believe it! Tasha’s face looked like a butterscotch candy except she had eyes that were blinking. I laughed like a maniac. I probably looked hideous myself. We had to get inside our house. There probably weren’t that much dust like outside in our apartment. Lucky us we lived on the first floor so we didn’t have to climb the stairs. I led her to our door but didn’t talk because the dust on my face was going to rush down to my mouth. I guess she knew what I was doing cause she followed and nodded. When we were in our home, we washed all the thick dust off our faces. I also bandaged my hands. Then we talked. The first words we said were, “Oh my gosh. What did we just go through?” We probably both had the most shocked faces ever. For five long minutes, we just stared, blinked, and breathed. Then Tasha fell on her bed. I fell on mine. Then, out of the blues, I thought about the people that were on the plane and the people who were inside the building. Most importantly, first responders who sacrificed their lives to try and help people. I looked outside from my window. The dust was almost gone but there was smoke and fire. There were also a lot of ash. In fact there was so much ash that it covered Manhattan. Then on the right there was a van that looked like they were helping the first responders. In front of the van were papers. I hanged a cloth around my face like a mask and went there. When I first went out, the place looked like a movie set. It was like a fantasy movie set. I still couldn’t believe my eyes. Tasha was so exhausted that she fell asleep. So technically this was my chance. The paper was a sign-up sheet. I wanted to help, and this was my chance to help. I wrote my name and got a proper mask. I guess somebody was in the van because he gave me a t-shirt with that was black and blue. He said that if I didn’t wear it, people would take me to the hospital. I laughed at his joke. “So, where do I start?” I asked.
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4 comments
This was a good story, but I see so much more potential in you. Go into more detail, expand, unpack, which will help it flow a bit more. This was a great start and there is so much more room to grow. I hope this helps. -Mj P.S. Could you check out my story, "Death Is History Too?" When you have a chance?
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Unpack this a little more and try to build your suspense. We know what's going to happen from where you begin the story. But what was different about this character, what made her move through that day the way she did? She didn't get up knowing what was going to happen.
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Pls follow and like. Here is the link to my bio: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/minseung-jeong/
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I'm a hero? Yeah You are
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