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Funny Holiday Speculative

"As you all know, this date has been a problematic one for the company" started saying the CEO of Green's Garden, who founded the company ten years ago when he started selling homemade vegan sweets "And I know that you all like a good laugh and to make some type of celebration, but since Edgar pulled that prank of fake pig blood on Marilyn, Human Resources and basically all of us here decided that there would be no more practical jokers allowed in this work space" he continued as he took off his jacket and untied his tie, the one that he had bought 8 months ago to look more professional but didn't use until that day. "So instead of giving you the day free, as many of you suggested, we will do a recreational activity, so each one of you can prove your worth to this company in an entertaining way. Challenge yourselves maybe… or save yourselves if you want to see it like that"

            The

employees were listening carefully to his words, but they were distracted

because of Mathew Green's formal outfit, a look that was uncommon for him.

Marylin, Tony and Amanda were sitting in the same round table, having decaff

coffee and eating vegan muffins.

"What does he mean with save yourselves?" whispered Marilyn

to the other two "Is he talking about cutting people off? I heard on the

3rd floor that Mathew had invested in a movie company and he lost thousands of

dollars"

"If it were true I would know"

said Amanda "No one's getting fired, Mathew wouldn't do that"

“How do you know? This guy is unstable, he could do anything”

“Don’t exaggerate, Tony.”

Mike, in the corner, raised his hand and

Mathew gave him the word.

"Why are we going to play this

game? Is there a prize?"

Mathew took a deep breath.

"Well yeah, there is Mike. You will

play Find the Treasure! Isn't it

exciting?"

"And the prize?" Mike repeated

“Okay, this is a bit complicated for me. Do you want the short explanation or—“

“Just tell us what the prize is” said Mike.

"Well, it's pretty simple. I'm

dying. So whoever finds the treasure gets my job"

            A

deafening silence filled the room until some people in the back started

whispering.

"Good April Fool's prank, Mathew,

now tell us the real reason we are playing this game" said Tony with chunks

of muffin still in his mouth.

"I'm not lying, guys, I'm sick. But

don’t worry about me, this is the natural order of things.  Can't you see what a big chance this is for

you? Seize it! Be the new boss! I'm serious, guys"

“You can’t be serious”

“Do you see how well-dressed I am? I prepared for the occasion, I wanted to give you the big news myself”

"Oh my god, are you for real,

Mathew?" said Amanda, truly worried "Why didn't you tell us before?

Are you in pain? What is it? Cancer? ELA? Do you have AIDS? You do know you can

live years if you get the right treatment, right? Have you seen a doctor?"

            Mathew's

face went pale and his serious expression turned the office meeting into a

gloomy occasion.

"There's no going back, Amanda, I'm

too far gone..."

“So, you’re truly dying?”

“As truly as a prickle pear dies in the heat”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m fucked, that’s all. I already made my will, and since I don’t have any children, or wife, all of my money and properties will go to the Animal Shelters of NYC. I have my funeral planned, and you are all invited, of course. Amuse me this last time, and maybe then I can go knowing I made one of you incredibly happy—or rich”

            A

few secretaries were weeping silently and before anyone could stand up to comfort

Mathew with a hug or kind words, he ran across the room, got some red papers,

and handed one of them to everyone. They looked like Christmas napkins. Once

they all had their papers, he went to the conference room, sat on a big chair

and announced through the speakers:

"I HAVE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN THE OFFICE

A TINY PIN OF A GOLDEN BOAT. YOU GUESSED IT, IT’S THE TITANIC. I HAVE GIVEN YOU

A CLUE TO GUIDE YOU; THERE ARE THREE OF THEM, AND WHOEVER FINDS THE PIN WILL

GET MY JOB AND ALL THE BENEFITS THAT IT INCLUDES. NOW I NEED SOME ALONE TIME,

MY HEAD IS KILLING ME. AND NO, I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR, I'M DYING BUT I WILL

NOT BURDEN YOU WITH THE DETAILS. GOOD LUCK!"

            As

soon as Mathew Green closed the curtains of the conference room, everybody

stood up and ran around like crazy, reading the papers and getting into the

elevator without even glancing at the room the dying man had just entered. Only

Amanda was left in shock.

"What is wrong with them? I can't

believe it. Mathew is sick, terribly sick, and instead of giving him support

they agree to his little game? It's so twisted"

"Yeah, it's a shame, poor Mathew"

said Marylin while reading the papers with the clues and dragging Amanda from

one arm "Now let’s get to the 4th floor before creepy Edgar gets there,

let's hurry"

"Marylin, you are sick too"

"And what about it? I don't care if

I'm sick, I want to be rich as fuck too"

"And you Tony? Are you going along

with this? What about your morals?"

"Hey, Green is going to die anyway,

somebody gotta get that job"

            Amanda

looked at the both of them and sighed. She thought it would be better to join them,

at least to make sure that they don't kill anyone in trying to find the stupid

pin.

"What's on the 4th floor?"

"The coffee shop"

"Did you get the clue in the red

paper?"

“It’s some obvious riddle. I bet the next clue is in the coffee machine”

Riddle, riddle, riddle me this

A foamy bath is meant for me

The second paper you will find

As a bluish tea or card.

           When Amanda, Marylin and Tony got to the 4th floor, the elevator doors opened and they could see Edgar and five more people destroying the tiny coffee shop and one of the men seemed to hold hostage the barista. Edgar was screaming at her and checking her pockets while the lady tried to punch him.

“What is wrong with you, Edgar?” shouted Marylin. “That is harassment”

“The clue is not in the coffee machine, or inside the milk pot, or in between the pastries or in the fridge, or in that microwave or in the cash box. So she must have it”

“Have the what? What are you talking about?” screamed the barista and then Amanda and Marylin pushed Edgar away from her.

“Don’t you see? She’s wearing blue! The clue said bluish! It’s inside of her!” Edgar shouted.

“You pervert”

           Tony then silently approached at checked inside the tea box. While Amanda and Marylin were telling Edgar and the other men that they should be fired for what they did, Tony found between the tea leaves a blue paper and put it in his pocket. Amanda caught him sneaking away into the fire stairs and told Marylin to leave the idiots alone and go with her to the bathroom.

“Sorry, had to make an excuse. Tony found it. He went this way”

           They followed Tony going upstairs until they reached the roof of the building. When they got out into the sun, they saw Tony kneeling and looking at the floor with all his attention.

“What are you doing?”

“Fuck, you scared me” he said as he stood up, and when he did so a gust of wind made the blue paper on his hand fly towards the women.

           Amanda caught it and read it outloud.

Twinkle, twinkle, another sign

One you can only see outside

In the floor you’ll find your way

At 10 stories it’s the place.

“Very nice of you to leave us arguing with those idiots”

“Hey, we never said we were a team. I like you girls, but if I don’t win—“

“Fuck off. Now tell us why you were looking at the floor”

“I thought I would find some sign or an arrow pointing somewhere, I don’t know”

           There were no signs on the floor and no star shapes or symbols and no box or any object that could contain the next paper. Despite of that, Marilyn looked at the floor and saw the shape of a thin shadow (of an antenna far away from their building) which crossed the entire roof because of the position of the sun during the afternoon. “One you can only see outside” she whispered to herself. She followed the shadow to where it ended, in a corner, and there was a little rock which had a star drawn on it with chalk. She lifted it only to find that underneath laid a green paper with the third clue.

“The last clue. I found it!”

           The other two approached and they all read what was written on it.

The final clue for you is here

You will soon win, it’s pretty clear

Return to where you once began

And find it in a familiar spot.

(I know it doesn’t rhyme, I didn’t have much time to make these)

P.S. follow the green.

“That motherfucker…” said Tony “The pin was on our floor all along”

           They went downstairs since the elevator was collapsing with the other employees trying to chase them--because of course Edgar told everyone that they had the clues since they disappeared-- and reached the 5th floor where they all had been for the office meeting.

           The place was empty, and no one knew where to look. The curtains of the conference room were still closed.

“Follow the green? I don’t see any green”

“Would it be like a pun with Mathew’s last name? Or is it too far fetch?”

           Amanda kept thinking, and of course since they were inside of a environment-friendly company, their adds and logos would have lots of green, but the pictures and murals of the office didn’t have any green at all which was odd enough, and the only ‘objects’ that did have that color where the indoor plants. There were 3 of them, going from the elevator and up until the entrance of the conference room.

“Follow the green” said Amanda “…Follow the Monstera Deliciosa

“The freaking what?”

“The damn plants. Look, they go to the conference room”

“But Green is hiding there, are you sure we have to—“

“Follow the green, he said. He’s Green too.”

           Amanda, Marylin and Tony walked towards the door of the conference room and on putting her hand in the handle, Marylin noticed it was unlocked. They entered, and the curtains that blocked sunlight were closed as well, which was why they didn’t notice at first that Mathew Green’s body was lying on the ground.

           Tony turned on a light and the three of them screamed at the sight of Green face down on the carpet and under him a pool of blood that seemed to come from his nose.

           Marylin leaned forward to see if he was breathing, but noticed his chest and back were not moving at all.

“He’s dead…Christ, he’s really dead, he was actually dying, fuck…”

“And you didn’t believe him?” said Amanda between sobs “LOOK AT HIM! HE OBVIOUSLY WAS REALLY DYING!”

“We need to call an ambulance”

“We better call the cops”

“What do you think it was? A stroke? He could’ve fainted and hit his face with the table and—“

“What do you think will happen with the prize now? I don’t see it here”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Amanda said, letting herself fall into the ground, while looking with consternation the figure of Green “That is a human being, a good person, our friend above all. Look at him! You are monsters, you only care about the money and the position, not about what’s really important. He was sick…Oh, poor man, he was sick and he died alone. He didn’t deserve this. Poor thing.”

           They remained silent. Tony tried to comfort Amanda and while he did so Marylin called the police and informed them of a dead body in the building. It took the rest of the employees only a few minutes to figure out where the pin could be, and when they reached the conference room and saw Green on the floor and the other 3 crying, most of them screamed or fainted. Soon enough all the people were in the big office, drinking water, covered in blankets and talking to each other about the shock and trauma of seeing the poor Mathew face down on his own blood. The assistants, secretaries, agents and the rest were in a deep state of commotion, and only Amanda remained in the conference room, sitting on the floor, since she couldn’t bring herself to stand up.

           By the time they heard the sirens of the police approaching down the street, Amanda decided it would be better to go home and call her therapist immediately. As she was standing up, something bright caught her eye. She thought it was one of Green’s rings reflected with the light, but she noticed it was something that he was holding between his fingers.

She took it.

It was the golden pin.

A tiny boat stained with red drops.

“I can’t believe it….”

“Neither can I, what took you so long?”

           Amanda looked down at the man and let go a scream that gave goosebumps to everyone in the building. Tony and Marylin ran back into the conference room to see Amanda unconscious on the ground and Mathew standing up, looking at her with surprise. His face was covered in blood but soon enough he spit some blood capsules and cleaned his mouth and nose with a tissue.

“I didn’t think she would faint, I—“

“You’re alive?” said Mike, with a rather sad tone in his voice.

“Of course I am”

“But, you were in the floor, like a corpse, for almost 20 minutes.”

“What can I say? I’m a good actor”

“Do you know the emotional toll this will—“

“Mama raised no quitter. I had to wait until someone ended the game”

“But, weren’t you dying or—“

“Me? Dying? Honey, I got decades ahead of me”

“And what was all of this about?”

Green pointed at a calendar

“It’s April 1st. Tada!”

All of them stared in disapproval.

“You sick fuck.”

“What? I couldn’t let Edgar win the prank competition with his blood bath bit. This was much cooler, you have to admit that”

“And the prize? Was that a joke too?”

“Oh, of course not, I quit yesterday” he then walked towards Amanda who remained on the floor and pointed at her “Meet your new boss, you monsters: Amanda Smith!”

March 27, 2021 00:21

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1 comment

Ruthie Moreno
21:56 Apr 07, 2021

Great first submission! This was one of my favorites from the contest.

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