Lost in Awe

Coulrophobia, fear of clowns. Since her childhood, Pau is scared of the clowns. Her parents didn't notice it but she did. Every time she sees a clown in a carnival, she will cry or worst, faint. Everyone found it strange but didn't mind her since she has a weak body. The last time she saw a clown was when she's nine, her best friend had a party and had a clown to entertain the kids but as her eyes landed on that clown, she fainted. Everyone panicked when they saw Pau on the floor. They thought it was some kind of allergies that caused her to faint but they were wrong.

Now, it's been seventeen years since the last time she went to a carnival or a birthday party. She tries to avoid such occasions just to be safe. She never told anyone about her coulrophobia even her mother. 

"Hi" her cousin greeted her, she smiled "Hey" Sam took a deep breath "Can you come with me this weekend?" Pau looked at her "Where?" she asks "There's a carnival that will be held in our small town this weekend and I want to go with you and Jack" she explains "Oh....." she mumbles, Sam was looking at her, expecting her to say yes. She started to sweat excessively, she wants to say no but, there is something inside of her that wants to go and unconsciously she said "Yes" Sam smiled and happily texted her boyfriend "It's settled then, don't forget. Saturday, six-o-clock, sharp!" and left her dumbfounded. 

After she realized what happened, it was too late to get back what she had just said. All through the week, she kept searching for a reason not to go, she even practiced her reasons until the day she feared the most (more than her exams) the Saturday came, she didn't even notice the days were already passing. Pau was too focused on her invalid reasons that she forgot what today is. Her phone rang and she saw Sam's message, she immediately opened it, expecting that Sam would just go with her boyfriend, alone. 

Samanta: Hi, Jack and I are just outside of your house.

The disappointment was drawn to her face as she read her cousin's text. It's too late now, Sam's is waiting for her.

"But what if I'll say that I have diarrhea? or having my menstrual period? Would that be enough reason?" she thought, she's in her room, already dressed and walking back and forth. A knock on the door made her jump, she felt her soul just left her body behind.

"Come in," she said as she tries to calm down, the door opened and Sam peeks at the door "Oh, you're done changing clothes..." Sam said as she looks at Pau "Ah yes, shall we?" Sam nodded while Pau's trying to hide her shaking voice. They bid goodbye to Pau's mom and went to the car. Jack smiled as soon as he saw Sam "Are you both ready? I heard some rumors that the carnival is amazing. They had this title called 'Lost in Awe' and I heard that they will have clowns scattered all around to entertain the people....." Sam just shakes her head at his big mouth meanwhile, Pau's heart skipped a beat when she heard the word 'clown.

The three of them went inside the car and left for the carnival. The whole ride was quiet... for Pau. Sam and Jack were singing and giggling in front of her. "We're here!" Sam shriek and that made Pau surprised. She looks outside the window and she saw made her lost in awe. The colorful lights are everywhere, the street dancers are entertaining everyone but her eyes were stuck on something, the clowns. 

Every kid was hugging those clowns, she felt that her chest is tightening, her vision starts to blur, she almost faint but something---no, not something. She felt that someone had just entered her conscious mind. Everything started to be okay again. The tightening in her chest was gone, her eyes are roaming around as nothing happened, she can breathe like usual. "Let's go," Sam said as she looks at Pau. She immediately went out of the car. 

Everyone around her is enjoying the carnival, she feels alone even if she's with Sam and Jack. "Let's have some fun tonight!!" Sam shouted and run towards the entrance, she left her boyfriend and cousin. Jack shakes his head and looks at Pau, who is like a rock, just standing and looking at the clowns. He wanted to speak to her but someone pulled him away from Pau---it was Sam. As he looks back, he can't see Pau anymore.

Meanwhile, Pau realizes that she's alone, she tries to find Sam and Jack but failed to see them. There were too many people and the darkness was already the ruler of the place and only the colorful lights showed her where to go. As she went inside, she saw a huge table with so many foods on it, every kind of entertainers were in the Carnival. " Welcome to the Carnival, "Lost in Awe" I hope you will entertain yourself tonight, we're glad that you're here tonight, with us," someone said through the speaker. Pau didn't look pleased with what she had heard.

Pau roams her eyes but there's still a sign of Sam and Jack. She starts to feel annoyed and scared, she hugs herself, comforting her mind that it will be alright, that Sam and Jack will find her. Pay took a deep breath and closed her eyes, 

"It will be alright" 

She mumbles, again and again, and again. Pau kept walking and walking, trying to avoid every clown and street until a stall caught her eyes, it does not have a grand decoration in it like the other stalls she saw. This one was unique and...strange. She felt something is urging her to come inside. She looks around and notices that they are no people coming inside of it, she takes her steps slowly. Little did she know as soon she went inside, she won't be able to step outside again. A dazzling light embraces her as she went in and she felt comforted by it.

Everyone in the carnival showed a devilish smile as their eyes went red.

THE END.