Stalling

It had been twenty-four years since she’d last seen it, but the place looked exactly the same. 

Dr. Reed noted as he looked down at the medical records, she grew up in this town before she moved out, across the country to go live with her man. Reed of course, never knew this woman, but the last few times they spoke he got the impression that their life was perfect before; Before they needed specialty care. So far from home, where things were cozy. It always would seem that way in hindsight, you only pay attention to the little idiosyncrasies after the shoe drops, when time stops and you are afforded the curse of realization.

Returning to your hometown should be a pleasant nostalgic memory, a time for some much-needed relaxation, but instead, it is the only place that holds the specialized care you need. He would understand if her husband would never see any of her childhood stories quite in the same way after such an experience. Then again, everything was about to change for them after today; No matter how nice the stories might have been, after today they will feel bitter when they think back on them later.

The hallway stretched on for what felt like an infinity, an infinity he would gladly abuse to postpone the inevitable. Reed paced slowly, almost praying that he could trap himself for just a while longer; Hoping he might use the restroom to stall for an extra bit of time, but no, he already went before reading the results, he was truly out of options now. The only way out was towards that light at the end of the hall, to move through that doorway all the way at the end of the infinitely stretching hallway.  

Without making a sound the head nurse joined him, they had done this dance before. He used to think that it would eventually become robotic, that it would become easier, and that he would no longer need to feel this dark sorrow. Reed stared blankly ahead. The couple waiting at the end of the hallway likely had already accepted what could happen, but even so would want, no, Need to hear that it was not so; For how could anyone accept otherwise? How could anyone just accept their life would be ruined by a simple conversation.

The steps echoed now. How did it get so quiet? Was it always so quiet? He couldn’t remember, the door was getting closer now, the figures inside gaining a semblance of shape. Reed himself had a wonderful family, they always went for walks in the park while his kids would try and climb the trees; No matter how many times they were told it was dangerous to climb the big one near the old ice cream truck, they’d always try it again. This couple would never experience such a thing; They would never get to shout up and be afraid. No, that path was about to stop, and he’d have to tell them.

The door creaked; It creaked so loudly. Why did they never fix these doors, It’s not like they lacked the budget for a little bit of oil to grease the hinges with? He stepped through the door, only to instantly make his first mistake by making eye contact; Their eyes were both red, but there were no tears, those had long been used up. Dark grey circles were situated under the eyes of the husband, still clutching his wife tightly with one arm while squeezing her hand with the other; He made a polite smile, and Reed tried his best to match it while moving towards the seat across from the man, the man that must have been awake all night, and whom’s pain caused him to cry a rash on his cheeks. It was his polite smile, his best attempt at making Reed feel comfortable, even with everything that was about to crash and burn around him that made the doctor look down at his papers.

The silence had been too long, he had stared at his documents for too long. He looked up and realized that the head nurse had already begun the introduction of the conversation. As if being the robot he dreamed he could be sometimes, Reed's voice would rattle off his part of the medical continuation of the treatments and a repetition of what had been happening, while his mind would continue dreading the moment to come. He knew he should bring the news slowly, it was the best way to do so, so studies say; Even with that in mind, he always could tell from their expressions that it was just prolonging their pain, their eyes begging for him to just say things would be okay. To just have him give in and reveal to them that their worry as for nothing, that all would be okay, and that they were on the right side of the pie chart.

The moment had arrived. Reed looked down at his papers; As if he didn’t already know exactly what was on those documents. As in reading it again perhaps this time, it would say something different, but no, these words were already black on white. He looked up into their eyes; Those terrible red eyes, pleading to simply let them go home, to pack up from the hospital and have a happy life. To no longer have to be stuck, confined to a single hospital room, with a single hospital bed. All they wanted to hear was that their little boy was alright, that he wouldn’t die, that he would live and climb that tree, fall, and that they could be mad at him for being so reckless. That they could bring him to his first day of school and comfort him as all of that would be way too overwhelming. That they could see him grow up, and they would be happy. Their boy had to live, and that was all that mattered.