Reflection

I tightly held my mum’s hand and lead her to my room. The lights had gone off and the dark always scared me. Every tick of the clock would make my heartbeat even faster. It felt like every second it got darker and darker. The bedroom was just tidy enough to show that I cared about the space and just messy enough to show that I was able to let her creativity roam free. My mum gently tucked me into bed and kissed me on the forehead.

“Mumma, can you sing a lullaby for me?”

“A lullaby? Aren’t you a bit too old for those?”

“No, please?”

The lullaby was music to ears, zoning me out from the darkness that dwelled around. It was the only thing that helped me sleep.

Just then, there was a knock on the window. The sound of the knocking was the sound of a heartbeat, getting faster by the second. The figure was vague, but I could make out an oval head with wavy hair coming up to her shoulders. Her head was tilted forward, and her face was hidden. She was wearing a loose white dress. I hugged my mum tightly trying not to scream.

“it’s ok darling, it’ll go away soon.” She said with little to no certainty in her voice. 

The figure slowly lifted her head and tilted slightly to the right. A huge grin was on her face, the tips of her lips trying to escape the cheeks.

My pulse started beating faster and my breathing was clearly noticeable.

“Ok, Stephany, go hide in the cupboard I’ll be right back.”

“Mum, please stay safe.”

“I won’t worry.”

I stayed in that cupboard that night. An 8-year-old girl all alone in the house. The sound of that terrified me. About an hour after dawn, I heard my mum’s voice. As the rays of light trying to break in through the edges of the curtains I heard,

“Honey, you can come out now,” she said in a playful voice.

I slightly peaked out and saw her blue eyes shining at me through the gap in the bedroom door. She’s been saying that for minutes now, but I’ve ignored her. It can’t be her; my mum’s eyes are grey. Just like mine.

I’ve been wondering why she just doesn’t come in and get me. There must be a reason she’s tricking me into coming out. Then I saw it. The mirror in the corner of the room exposing every inch of the room If you look from the right angle. My angle. Maybe she can’t be seen in front of the mirror? I decided not to move because I could see everything through the mirror. It was the perfect place to hide from a ghost. Never thought I’d be saying that in my lifetime.

I waited a while hoping that she would soon go away but I soon realized it was like a loop. Like clicking the rewind button at the same place every time. Like a point on a wheel always meets the ground again and again. Her voice, gestures were the same every single time she said it.

“Honey, you can come out now”

The voice ached my head now, even though it was my mum’s. There should be a way to stop this. I thought hard when it hit me. The ghost can’t be seen through mirrors. That means I shine a mirror at her right? But the mirror’s in the bathroom which is outside this closet…

I waited for the perfect moment to leave and grab the mirror. At the start of the loop when she hasn’t yet poked her head through the door. Every inch of me said she could easily not follow the loop and come in earlier. Every atom pulling me back into the closet. But what’s life without taking risks. All these thoughts consumed me and by the time I knew I was already in the bathroom holding the mirror in my hand. I waited for her to come in. But she didn’t. The loop continued. Did I trick her into thinking I was still in the closet? I checked the time on my mum’s phone sitting next to the sink. 2:32. It was late. Really late. There was only one thing I could do now. Go out there. I steadily held the mirror facing forward in front of the chest and slowly walked out the bathroom towards the door. I could hear her coming towards me. Any time now I would hear “Honey, you can come out now”. The footsteps continued. Wait a second. She should’ve been here by now. I stood there in confusion, the footsteps continuing to grow louder by the second.

Honey, it’s time to go to bed” she said.

I stared into her eyes. They weren’t blue anymore. They were grey. Like my mother’s.

“What are you doing with a mirror?” she smiled at me puzzled.

“Oh, um nothing”

“Ok let’s go time to go to bed” she cheerfully said

I looked at her muddled and quickly rushed to check the time. It was 8:30pm.

I was so confused.

 Did any of that really happen?

I asked my mum to sing me a lullaby again. It felt like everything today night was happening repeatedly. Then I heard it. There was a knock on the window. Once again it was the same knocking beat that followed my heartbeat. Once again, her head was tilted forward, and her face was hidden. Once again, she was wearing a loose white dress.