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Christian Fiction Funny

" I thought it's Wednesday, why the bell?, Do they miscalculated or what?; These kids, at times most of them even go to school on Saturdays only to be turned back at the gate by the security people. I thought it is only on Thursdays and Saturdays they go for morning masses?. Some of them, at times their brains will oscillates, some times it will leave completely. Or, am i the one loosing it?. What is the today's date actually, how would I know the date when I don't remember the day?"

These kids, who would blame them, schools are closed since two months, block rosary centers opens only on Sunday evening for roughly one hour. Where would they socialize?, Some lookup was to the morning masses like farmers lookout for rainy season. In a bid to free themselves from the boredom, some will wakeup on the wrong day and start ringing bells at wrong hours, eager to gather and go to the church and socialize for two hours. They were lucky that the worship places has not been shut down entirely. 

Electricity suppliers are not helping issues, there has not been light for the past five days now. " Were they on lockdown too?", total darkness everywhere now. Everything that uses electricity have been turned into useless items including phones.

This invisible enemy most, including yours truly don't even know 50 percent of anything about, have attached itself permanently in everything that makes man happy and bent on destroying and disrupting them permanently; health, peace, wealth, religion, family etc.

Abubaka Aliyu was Still turning around in bed when the kids returned from service two hours later. He had been wondering since five years now that he had been living among the Christians now why they can't pray in their houses on weekdays and go to the church on Sundays. Must they go to morning masses every day?, Yea, they go there every morning, ring bells calling others to join and cheat you at the slightest chance that present itself. Everything in their life has its own Bible. They're Bible for religion which are expected to adhere to with all your heart especially on Sundays, any other behavior outside the law there, has repercussions.

There is Bible for health, which you are expected to follow instructions in it to the later. Anything outside it, no matter where or who it's coming from, is fake and blasphemous. Doctors, education, gifted or not, health bible is the supreme document, it never lies.

        Then, there's one on peace. In this Bible, you will learn all manners of peace that supposed to exist between you and members of your family, other families, people from your tribe, from other tribes, race, Animals, birds etc. Any other peace outside the laws of the peace Bible is from the evil one. That peace won't last, it's demonic. Then, there's one for finance which covers all kinds of wealth creations directly or indirectly. This is where you learn that in business, there's no " paddy". It's a jungle world and you must have the knowledge of guerrilla warfare to make it. Once you follow instructions in it to the later, you might not turnout to be Bill Gate, but there would always be food on your table three times daily. Then, there's one for family building. How to build up a happy family, raise Godly, responsible and successful kids, build a harmonious family etc.

Abubakar Aliyu had seen all this from his dealings with the Igbo community in his northern state but he felt that he needed to be in the midst of the Igbos to learn their secret of money making first hand. Those over there in his place he believes came to learn the way of the north. So, five years ago he packed his bags and landed in Onitsha the commercial city of Igbo man.He came to learn the business bible. He had been wondering since his 20s how these Igbo people perform their magic. How come it them three years only to recover after the war, the north that had been controlling power has only the politicians, few government worker that you can call rich people. Why so?

His observation for five years now had revealed that; it's the verse in the business bible they practice that were behind the success. Most will start business, once he build up little capital, he will go back to his village to bring one or two boys to help him to run his business and after seven years, he will settle the person and replace them with new ones and the settled boys will continue the trend. He had been observing the people living in the same building with him and asking them questions where he's confused.

"I don't understand this well, what if after seven years and your oga( master) don't have money to settle you, what would happen?

" Ah, for that seven years the boy was with you, he eats food, watching and acquiring knowledge of people and business, he can borrow from people to start life"

" What of if there is no one to lend him money, what would he do?"

" He start hustling for customers for the big businesses and earning commissions"

"So, they won't go to court to seek for redress?"

" Court?, Where will the money for lawyers come from, and where would your poor oga get the money to give you?,"

He sat on his bed reminiscing and remembered that he has shared all these information with their northern elders and so far, no result from there. He knew that it would be difficult to infuse in the heart and culture of the northerners, due to the religion and bearing in mind that it's only one version of Koran that is in use there.

He lie back on the bed wondering whether it was the case of shorter day--- longer night at play. Why is it still dark outside. When he finally got out of the bed around 8:30 am and tried to recite some verse in Koran, after taking for three minutes, he realised that it's psalm 23 that he was reciting, he shake his head and tried to recall all the Koran verses he knew before coming to east, and found it difficult. He made a decision that it was time to return to north. " I came to learn business Bible and i ended up learning religious one. I have lost it entirely".

March 08, 2021 16:44

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