The Noise

The Noise

Julie gazed in the mirror at the bags under her eyes. It looked as though she’d age ten years since she moved into a tiny downtown apartment. She referred to downtown as the forbidden city. There was never a moment of silence. She listened to the cars go by after she washed her face. Someone was always going somewhere or arriving.  Julie thought of all the other laces she’d rather be, but she didn’t have the money to move. Maybe she could save up enough money to stay at a cabin at the mountains. One night of silence would bring a relief she hadn’t had since she moved.   During her morning walks, she’d see homeless people on every corner. Now the problem had gotten worse.  It seemed the noise hypnotized people walking around, so people rarely spoke to each other anymore.  She’d lost contact with her friend after she’d been fired and was forced to move back to Sparkle City to be close to her family, but she found it impossible to have a conversation.

The noise began around noon every day. The walls shook and her cats hid under the bid. Julie was tempted to poke out her eardrums. Sometimes she would escape to the library or just go for a drive. But she always had to return to the loud place.

When the noise cranked up, she thought about the places she like to be: by the seaside, somewhere gazing out at the mountains, or just in a quiet house in the country. She missed listening to the chickadees in the evening and watching the deer come up in the yard.

Her hair was turning gray and she was in a constant state of somnolence.

She wondered how many people in the forbidden city heard the constant loud noise.  Was the government trying some kind of experimental torture or trying to find a way to control the population by keeping them in a state of hypervigilance? After a while one became exhausted to the point of hypervigilance. The forbidden city was full of homeless people, and everyone she looked she saw despair. .

The noise increased at three. It was louder than the wailing sirens and the thump thump thump that came from motorists passing by. Then Julie would  go into a trancelike state, and sometimes forget who she was. She was slowly becoming one with the noise. And the more she became one with the noise, the harder it was to even leave the apartment.  

She felt like someone was stabbing her with a knife.

She called the local police station and asked about a noise ordinance, but there were no boundaries.

“There is no noise ordinance in the cities. We can’t place restrictions on local businesses and we simply don’t have the resources to enforce any ordinance.”

Julie slammed down the phone in desperation. How could the police hear a cry of distress or were they a apart of the noise.

She stared at her cellphone and longed to call Mary. If only she’d kept her job and tried to work things out with her former roommate. She thought about what her daddy always said. One can either try to solve a problem, get out of the situation or learn to tolerate it. . Her daddy had passed away several years ago. She remembered all those times she came to him in distress and he would discuss her options with her. When she totaled her car he calmly pointed out, “It’s only money.” And he would help whenever he could. When she had trouble with her roommate, her father advised her to move out or decide what she was willing to “live with.”  Then there was the big fight she had with her sister when her sister gouged her bumper. Her daddy said “either you work something out or decide what you’re willing to live with. “ 

“Live with it,” went through her mind. What could she live with? Some things were intolerable, but her Daddy pointed out there were always options, and in many situations she was the one who had to change.

“Move your car. Move out,” went through her mind.

It wasn’t always easy to choose; especially when one didn’t have a choice. She’d regretted choosing that small college in SC where she was blackballed and so many strange things happened. Somehow her colleagues had solved the mystery of the strange calls, but no one would tell her anything. After she got fired, she was a pariah. She felt blackballed, so her only option was to return home and move into her Mother’s small condo that was in the Forbidden City.

Everything seemed impossible: quiet, peace, security, comfort, nicer scenery. . .  She could hear her father’s voice telling her to get a job and move out.

But the noise paralyzed her. She wondered how many other people felt trapped because thinking was such a chore. She thought about how noise could be used as a weapon or for torture. It got louder and louder. She had an anxiety attack and her chest hurt. She called for her daddy. She had dreams of him in a much nicer place. In her dreams, he advised her to take charge or her life.  And during her dreams, she found a moment of silence.

She went to the quietest room in the condo and looked up other places. The walls shook. She had visions of the roof crumbling. The malevolent spirit at the University seemed to affect the entire town. Maybe there were many spirits. And more spirits that refused to leave this life because they had something left to do. But was it fair to blame a ghost on the noise? The spirits were victims of something evil in the unseen city. There was no volume dial. The walls shook, and Julie curled up on the floor. Her Siamese cat came out from under the bed and licked her sweaty face. There was always something that made unlivable circumstances more tolerable. The cat’s purr made her feel human again. She heard her Daddy’s voice again, “Change. Move out. Make a decision. .” She would do the best she could to survive and eventually find another place. She had gotten out of bad situations before. She couldn’t let the town destroy her.  She found that quiet place within herself and decided she would leave if all she had was a cat and a suitcase. And she had make a decision soon, as she wouldn’t be able to live with just becoming another sound-a part of the unbearable noise.