This isn't Normal

Contains: Past Child Abuse/Neglect

Racism

Physical Violence (Past)

Homelessness (Past)

Emotional Distress/Trauma

Implied Social Isolation

LUCA ADRIAN (1916, December 25th)

IT’S CHRISTMAS!!! These were my first thoughts as I woke up on December 25th.

Mama and Papa, before he left, used to have this rule: we (my siblings and I) can’t get out of bed until 7:01 a.m. I had about 40 more minutes before I could bang on my siblings' doors.

I looked around, hearing a sound…Eryx was awake and sitting in the corner of the large bed my friends and I were sharing. We all did not want to sleep on the floor or the couch.

He hadn’t noticed me yet, he was curled in on himself, just staring into space, not moving.

I wondered if he was thinking of his ma and pa and his Aunt Ada. That he never got to spend Christmas with them this year till forevermore. He had yet to tell me of the cause of their death, but I didn’t need to know if he wasn’t ready.

I remembered when Ursa Mage, one of my best friends, told me the story.

“We were ten when the Ghost came.” She started getting comfortable on the love seat “Eryx, being the only black kid in the whole town, made it hard for him to make friends. We were both so, so happy when a group of kids came to us and invited us to the field to play.” She smiled and kicked her feet back and forth, her brown hair sparkling in the firelight. Then her brown eyes shone with sadness and rage as she continued, her smile melting. “A ghost emerged from behind a building just as Eryx or another kid was about to win. Its face had a bluish tint and wispy, smoke-like hair."

My friends and I gawked at the being. When a ghost approaches you, it’s always a blessing unless you offended it in the past or when it appeared.”

My brow furrowed. “Then... why did the Ghost curse this Eryx of yours?” He doesn’t seem like one to wrong a stranger, a divine one at that, from what Ursa had told me.

Ursa shrugged. ‘I’m not sure.’ It smiled at us warmly scanning our group, but as kindly as the smile came, it dissolved into a scowl as its eyes landed on Eryx, who had stepped forward, probably to say hello and greet the being.”

“but he hadn’t taken more than a step before the Ghost hollered ‘You- YOU! Children run away!’ Its translucent face turned toward him, coated in rage, disgust, and suspicion.”

“The ghost glared at me and muttered more words to which the other kids turned pinker than the girl’s dresses or pale as snow.”

“I screamed as I noticed Eryx was slowly dissipating, rushing towards him before stopping, my body shaking with fear and fury.” Ursa’s voice shook ‘Bring Eryx back!’ I yelled, stomping my foot hard, the other children behind me shaking.”

“The Ghost looked back at me ‘He’s a cursed child. We whites are never supposed to have children with Blacks. France is crazy for not addressing this’ The ghost’s lips paled as they lifted onto a smile. ‘The states have done such a better job at making sure of this’ It paused and smirked an inch more.

“‘My powers aren’t enough to banish him forever’”. It smiled at us with affection, “But they are enough for you children to play after sunrise without seeing his disgusting features. Then it disappeared.”

I crawled over to the boy who was as still as death, “‘Ryx?” I whispered, hating how my voice cracked.

He didn’t stir, just stared into the abyss.

I crept closer, careful not to startle him.

He looked up at me, eyes widening slightly. “Luca?”

I smiled before gently placing a hand on his back rubbing in small circles. “Joyeux Noël, Eryx Beau Savant.”

His brown eyes searched mine as if he had never seen me before.

Just then Ursa mage stirred her eyes blinking open before she looked at me and Eryx.

Without a word she pulled him slightly, looking at me for permission. When I granted her said permission she gently took Eryx into her lap. Rubbing her thumb on the lower side of her neck. Instantly he fell asleep again.

It’s his first Christmas not on the streets, homeless.

My mind blanked as I tried to think of what it would be like to not have Christmas with my family or friends. No Marc and Theò arguing over who got the most cake. No Jaune rolled her eyes at me as I tried and failed to braid little Déby’s hair into pigtails for church. None of Mama’s éclairs.

I stared at them. Eryx was drooling slightly as Ursa’s hand ran through his soft curls. His light brown skin glowed in the moonlight.

“Why curse him with invisibility…why curse this beautiful boy at all… “I whispered.

The world beyond Mama’s bakery was a blur of faces and hurried footsteps. I rarely ventured far, content with the familiar scent of baking bread and the warmth of the ovens. But looking at Eryx, at the faint shadows under his eyes, and the way he flinched at loud noises, I felt a growing unease. What had he seen out there while he was homeless? What had made him so… guarded? I didn’t understand why the Ghost hated people with Eryx’s skin tone or the ones that were the color of rich chocolate or as dark as the sea… If they were anything like Eryx, they must be the sweetest people ever.

“He looks at peace,” I murmured, looking back at Ursa Mage.

“Oh.” I frowned slightly as I realized she had fallen asleep as well.

I looked outside. A small sliver of orange sunlight rose above the town, just dusting the roads below.

Eryx will disappear soon. I thought, looking back at my friends.

“30 minutes,” I said under my breath. “30 minutes of him. 30 minutes of normal.”

This isn’t normal a small part in me whispered sisterly.

It is my normal now. I replied internally

ERYX BEAU SAVANT

The twinkling lights adorning Adrian’s Christmas tree cast a warm, inviting glow, filling the room with a sense of magic. Laughter and cheerful chatter echoed through the small apartment, mingling with the sweet aroma of freshly baked gingerbread cookies and the warmth of the fireplace.

I never understood Christmas after my parents' death. Wasn’t it just another day passing just that we sprinkled it in singing and toys? But as I watched through the living room window, Luca and Marc threw snowballs at Jaune and Theò. Déby collecting snowballs for the oldest boy, Ursa Mage, helping the wobbly 7-year-old stay on her feet on the ice. I couldn’t help but feel a weird feeling in my heart. My lips twitched upwards as I watched Theò hit Marc in the forehead, sending the 18-year-old into a snowball-throwing fit. Jaune just stared at the two before looking at her mother as if to say, Boys, what can you do about them?

Mami and Papi had gone to work for the day, with Mami as an accountant and Papi as the CEO of a big company. Suddenly a knock sounded at the door as I ate a slice of Christmas Eve Eve cake (which I may or may not have been told to not even look at it...). Auntie opened the door and one of Papi’s workers stood there and in a quick but hushed tone said, ‘There was a fire...’ Auntie froze, standing as still as the snowman I'd built earlier.

‘But it’s cold outside?“ I tilted my head confused, how could a fire happen during snow? The worker finally noticed I was there. His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Auntie slammed the door on his face before sinking to her knees, silent sobs sounding.

A month or two after my parents' death I’d somehow pulled a sad Auntie Ada outside to take a walk in the melting snow. The crunch of the white blanket sounded beneath our feet as we were passing a house a woman came outside her mouth twisted into a snarl as she yelled “Black scum!” to my Aunt or at me, I’ll never know. A gunshot sounded making me use my own and my auntes hand to cover my ears. I fell to the ground as my aunt’s blood splattered on my face, hands, and shirt, and onto the pure white snow filling in the molds of our footsteps.

I shook my head trying to get out of my stupor it's been 10 years get over it, curling my knees to my chest and staring into the kitchen where Ursa and Luca spun around to the Christmas songs on the radio. They seem so happy. I smiled watching Ursa trip slightly when Luca tried to spin her. I wanted to join. So, so badly but the stupid curse that stupid ghost put upon me made it impossible for me to be seen.

As the evening progressed and the moonlight made the snow sparkle and Ursa Mage had to leave, Luca, sensing my unease or just wanting to spend time with me, pulled me aside. “Hey,” he said, his voice gentle and reassuring. “How about we bake something together?”

A small smile tugged at my lips. Luca’s love for baking was infectious, and his passion for creating delicious treats was evident in every movement he made when anywhere near the kitchen. “I’d like that,” my heart lightened at the prospect of spending time with him.

We gathered in the kitchen, the air filled with the comforting scent of flour, sugar, and vanilla. Luca, ever the patient teacher, guided me through the steps of making his signature gingerbread cookies. His hands, dusted with flour, moved with a practiced grace as he stood behind me helping me knead the dough, roll it out, and cut out festive shapes.

As we worked side-by-side, a comfortable silence settled between us, broken only by the occasional clinking of bowls and the soft hum of the oven. I watched Luca, his brow furrowed in concentration, his lips pursed in a thoughtful frown as he stared at the sideways nutmeg bottle muttering, “Why was this out?” as he put it back in the drawer.

“You know,” Luca said as he wiped a streak of flour off the table, “you’re a natural at this.” he stared at the oven as the cookies heated in the oven.

I looked up, surprised by his compliment, it’s not that he didn’t flatter me all the time, I was just always surprised at it. “Really?” I asked, a bashful smile spreading across my face as I raised an eyebrow. Mama had baked but I was too young to even help with lighting the firepit so I never learned. I was quite surprised when Luca nodded, his blue eyes still on the cookies, a serious look on his face. “Yeah,” he said. “You have a knack for it. Maybe you could help me out in the bakery sometime.”

“Sure.” I didn’t know how to answer. He was so sober and different from the usual Luca ‘Sorry what were you saying’ Adrian.

The warmth from the oven radiated through the kitchen, chasing away some of the chill that clung to me. As the cookies were baked, filling the kitchen with their sweet aroma we talked, or rather, Luca talked, and I listened, my gaze drawn to the flickering flames in the hearth. Fire… the smell of smoke… Auntie’s sobs… I blinked. As I forced the image away another one took place:

I woke up to see Luca on the floor drawing in the dust and dirt on the wooden floor.

“You should be sleeping.” Muttering I sat up turning on a lamp

Hearing my voice, Luca glanced up from his flower drawing. “Oh, hey, Eryx.” He looked at me, his eyes wide in surprise.

I rolled my eyes, “You’re avoiding the question. What are you doing awake?”

The blond looked at the floor, the moonlight lighting up his rising blush. “I wanted to talk with you. You never really speak in the day or anything. Ursa Mage asks about you, too.”

I stared at Luca. “Wait. You are..worried…about me?” this was a first. A bitter smile twisted my lips.

Luca’s lips frowned. “Of course! You don’t think we spend years, looking for you, for kicks? Do you?”

I shook my head quickly “No. No, of course not!” that’s true. No one would have looked for me. Even the few people who did look only for kicks gave up after the first month and said I was dead.

I lowered my hands placing them in my lap. “I just…thank you for caring.” I blushed furiously.