My doomed wings

The room is unfamiliar. I don’t know how I got here. Everything around me is dark, I can barely see. There’s only a small hole in the crumbling ceiling, through which a single moonbeam slips. It seems like I’m in an old and creepy warehouse, an abandoned factory maybe. The stinging scent of the dampness and mold invades my nostrils. The only sound I can hear is a leaking pipe dripping.

Oh, I feel so dizzy! My entire body aches, especially my head and my leg. I suppose that my wound has widened. Suddenly, the previous events flood my mind, making my head spin even more. Now I remember what happened.

I was driving home at night, when a dark figure appeared from nowhere. The road was in the middle of the woods, there wasn’t anyone else. I felt completely alone. But as I got closer, I immediately recognised who was standing before me. That’s why I decided to steer, managing to avoid him, even if I knew that he would keep chasing after me. My heart was racing. In a moment, my car was hurled off the road, and I was thrown to the ground. Then, he finally approached me. Apparently, Rain hadn’t decided to leave me alone yet. I thought it was all over, but his demon was still tormenting me. And I’m not just saying it, Rein is a true demon, a corrupted spirit who creates chaos in earthly world, sentenced to the Eternal Limbo with the other Damned, due to their ancient rebellion against the Heaven. In the past, Rein had tried to tempt me in order to damn my soul and make Kai, my guardian angel pay. However, my beloved angel sacrificed himself to save me. From that moment on, my heart was broken forever. But this is another story.

Still, I had no idea of what he wanted from me this time. Even though my leg was badly hurt, I managed to stand up to face him.

“Long time no see! You thought you got rid of us, didn't you?” I remained silent. “What is it? Did I leave you speechless?”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Really?” Rein came close to me to push me to push me to the ground with a single touch. “Look at you, your leg is bleeding. The human body is so strange.” He pressed on my wound, causing me a shooting pain. I flinched instinctively, trying to escape from his hand. “It hurts, right?”

“What do you want?” I snarled.

“What do I want?” he smirked, “I don’t need anything from you. It’s you who has something that is not yours. You know too much for a human, too many things that you shouldn’t know.”

“I couldn’t tell a soul anyway, nobody would believe me. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“We don’t worry about anything. Now that he can’t help you anymore, we will take your soul too. It’s just the rules.”

“Ah, so now you follow the rules…”

“A simple creature like you should live a silly life, unaware of us. But you pathetically fell for each other, you for a corrupted angel and he for a mere human!” He seemed very amused of my story with Kai. “I’ve never understood what was the matter with you.” He touched my blood on the ground. “You’re so fragile but yet not harmless. You are as capable of choosing evil as we are, but you can just redeem yourself with a few little prayers. Pathetic.”

“You look envious though.” I replied. I knew that demons are very jealous our human free will.

He laughed at me. “You all are so arrogant! You don’t even realise how insignificant you are.”

“If I’m that useless, why I’m so important to you demons?”

“Don’t delude yourself, I just have to put things in order. You crossed a forbidden line long ago.”

“As if I could choose…”

“Someone else has already paid for that.” My heart ached at the memory of Kai.

“Don’t you see how my life has been irreparably disrupted?” I blurted. “Do you believe I could keep living as if nothing had happened? The knowledge you talk about brings me only pain. If I could have chosen, I would have preferred to stay naive. My human problems were enough.”

“You think I can pity you? It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, you still have a price to pay.”

“It’s not about pity. Precisely because you have no idea what it means to live as a human being, you do not realise that in this way I am already paying in the worst way. I know something that others do not, forced to continue living as if nothing had happened... this makes me even more powerless in the face of torment. You’d only do me a favour by killing me.”

“You will not free yourself from this torment so easily. We would never do such a gift to some miserable creatures.”

“Because if you could do so, you would have already freed yourselves.” I challenged him.

“Maybe you don’t see our power. We rule your world: pain, evil, death, violence. You always choose to fall into our hands so easily... You destroy yourself because you prefer evil as much as we do. You are our creatures, not His." He says looking up in the sky. “We have a greater power than Heavens.”

I smiled. "It’s just what you see. Whoever chooses to fight you every day is the real winner. The strongest power is to be able to choose, and you don’t have that possibility anymore.”

“Look at you, isn’t it pathetic? You continue to deceive yourself about something that turns out to be just a disappointment. Don’t you see that everything ends up hurting you?”

“Just because I lost, doesn’t mean I stopped believing in others victories.”

“You’re so smart but you can’t still get over it. You have only suffered in your life, that’s the truth. You have nothing to lose because you never gained anything. What’s the point of fighting if you already know you’re defeated anyway?"

“Maybe I’m not strong enough, but there will always be someone who will be in my place, someone who loves this life no matter what.”

 “You talk about love? It is a lie, a human invention. In your view, those who love do not leave. And you have been left alone.”

“You can do whatever you want to me, but I will never be alone.”

“You still feel lonely anyway. You humans are all the same, you are not made to be alone. You’re so afraid of loneliness that when it devours you, you collapse. I’ve seen many like this, you’re not the only one.”

“You may be right, but I will always be better than you.”

“Your presumption is so pathetic.” He looked at me, causing my leg hurt more with just his gaze.

“I only see your fate as pathetic.” I continued, with my voice choked by pain. Without even touching me, Rein made me feel more and more pain. “You talk about impotence, when you use your power against those weaker than you. It’s just a distraction from the thought of your meaningless existence. You’re doomed to nothing.” At this point, I felt a stabbing pain in my head.

“You know what’s the funniest thing? That at the end of all this, he lied to you”. I looked at him confused, with terror in my eyes. “Oh, you don’t really know the truth! Interesting…” He paused my physical pain for a moment, knowing that the pain I would feel now would be far more devastating.

He came close to me again, leaning toward my feeble body to better hear the sound of my heart shattered.

“You believe that your sacrifice was to simply accept your distant destinies. And instead, my dear,” he continued, caressing my face with his sharp nails, “your little angel has given his soul to us, believing he would have taken your place.” I was petrified to learn the truth. When Kai and I bid farewell to each other, this wasn’t the plan. I only accepted that our fate was to be apart, that we couldn’t be together in this life. Apparently, it was worse than that.

“And he thinks he saved you, do you understand?” Rein kept going on. “Here you are, all alone, harmless, and he can’t do anything about it anymore! But don’t worry, I’ll make sure that he we’ll be informed about this nice surprise even in the Limbo.”

I didn’t know what to say. I crouched on the ground, distraught. A tear ran down my face. The burning of the scratches is imperceptible in comparison to the pain I felt in that moment. I lost him for real, I lost Kai for eternity. After enjoying enough of the scene, the demon grabbed me by the neck. 

“You will die alone. No one can save you now, no one will come looking for you. And maybe not even at your funeral.”

The last thing I remember, is Rein leaving after throwing me back to the ground. I heard a distant echo of his voice murmuring: “Bland humans”. Then, I lost consciousness, deprived of all my strength.

Therefore, I woke up in this narrow place. I don’t even understand why I am still alive, at this point. But I don’t want to wait here, so I decide to try to drag myself through the dark aisle in front of me, even if I have no idea of where it leads. Nothing scares me anymore. However, the pain in my leg is unbearable, I can’t go much farther, I can’t stand up either. Suddenly, a noise breaks the silence. I freeze. I look around but I don’t see anything. Then, I feel someone grabbing in their arms, while covering my mouth with their hands. I quickly turn back to face my assailant, but my heart stops beating in that instant. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. It can’t be possible.

Before my eyes, there’s Kai. He glances around while lowering his hand, then his gaze finally meets mine. It’s really him.

“How… how is…” I lost my words. He caresses my face, his hands are now trembling. I realise how much I missed his touch, how much it comforts me. He delicately puts his other hand to my wounds, and a few seconds later, my leg seems completely healed. Both my body and heart don’t hurt anymore, even if it feels like a dream to me.

“I’m getting you out of here.” He gently holds me in his arms, lifting me up. “I’m sorry, I should have come sooner. Forgive me.” He tells me in a broken voice.

I don’t care if this is just a dream or if I’m already dead, as long as I can stay in his arms. This feels so real, so comfortable. 

Once we get out from the roof, he unfurls his shining wings and, under the kiss of the moonlight, we fly away, towards our future together.