I think I Dexeterd him

(Whispering on cell phone) hey I know it’s Wednesday and you usually have your date with small hands, but I got to talk to you. “ who is this and how did you get my number?” It’s me Lila. I’m not calling from my phone. “ OK where’s your phone?” It’s not important right now. I think I’m in a lot of trouble. I gotta find some more safe to call you from. I’m throwing this cell phone in the water. I’ll call you back.” Lila takes the cell phone that she just grabbed and used to call her best friend smashes it and throws it in the lake hoping that there’s no fingerprints because she didn’t think about that until after looks down at the body smirk and says damn he was fine. What did I do? Frantically going through the woods back to the car grabs all of her things unknowingly how to get rid of fingerprints take some KY jelly out of her bag smears it all over the steering wheel the door handles stick shift, seatbelt holder door handles, and then put the KY jelly back in her bag, she walks down the windy road. She comes to an old Dare gas station that actually has a payphone a payphone? What the fuck is a payphone doing out here does it work takes out the jelly again smears it all over the phone and the buttons and calls her Beastie this time she doesn’t have to whisper because she’s enclosed in the glass box frantically looking around to see if anyone notices her she dials it’s me again I Dexter it all wrong. “ OK OK let me get out of these handcuffs and blindfold and I’ll have small hands drive me. I won’t tell him anything. Just give me a landmark so I can find you. “ OK, I’m down off of 72 to the derelict rundown gas station called RC’s. I’m gonna hide around the corner by the bathrooms just flash the lights when you’re here. In SpongeBob voice to hours later…. What took you so long? “ well I wasn’t sure what we were getting into so I grabbed a shower curtain, tape rope, bleach, batteries, sandwich, a crowbar, crazy glue, sewing kit some Reesie’s and a six pack. “ what did you tell small hands you didn’t let him know what was going on did you? “ of course not. I just told him that you were camping in the woods and you know some extra food you really really want to take a shower but you didn’t want the Bears look at you because you are. I have an awkward moment when you’re naked , don’t worry about it. He’s just an ex-Marine. He hasn’t pay attention to anything I say.” Lila works, walks her bestie down through the woods past the car her Besty looks at it as if something’s wrong. Why is it so shiny lubed up slimmer here from Ghostbusters? Get down by the lake. It takes away some tree branches that she covers his body with an absolute horror her Bestie looks down and sees the body in plastic wrap underneath and plastic wrap on top with a sock, putting in his mouth wrapped around his neck, a feather in one hand and a whipping, but still his shoes on that he was naked. Bestie looks up at Lila. Looks back at the body. Looks back up at Lila. Looks back at the body. Looks back up at Lila and bust out and ridiculous. Laughing falls to the floor giggling, pulling her belly up can’t even fathom what’s going on. Lil O looks down in her Bie laughing hysterically uncontrollably snorting can’t take a breath because she’s laughing so hard. Lila is in disbelief, thinking that her Besty would’ve reamed her out and maybe suggested to hide the body she was dumbfounded “ OK so tell me what happened? Wait maybe don’t tell me what happened because if I know more that makes me an accessory. OK wait no I know what happened?” Lil fidgeting her around, tells her that they just got done watching the first season of Dexter and then decided to go ahead and binge it and watch the next season when Hannah comes around the Hannah looks similar similar to. It’s a classic white with a black bra, blonde hair moment And they decided let’s go have some fun in the woods and we goof off and have some Dexter moments and it’ll be kinky and fun and then we’ll go get something to eat afterwards. Have some wine and get back in bed. Frantically Lila grabs the crazy blue from her Besty and glues her eyes shut. “ why the hell did you do that?” he won’t stop staring at me. I feel like every time I walk around his body his eyes are just following me. All right so aside from that what do we do that’s why I called you. You always have an answer. “ well my first thought was let’s roll them up in the shower curtain. Take all those little fetish toys that you have in there make it look like he was meeting somebody out in the woods and things just went wrong? Or maybe we go with a serial killer oh wait no Dexter is a serial killer so we can’t make that happen that would be too cliché. I don’t know. I’m out of ideas.” do you think anybody can hear us? What about his cell phone that I used? What if he’s being tracked or what if someone heard me over by the phone I mean I said a lot of things. What do I do? What do we do? what do we do? Oh my God I feel gassy. I think I’m gonna throw up. “ whatever you do just don’t throw up on the …. “ sounds and projectile vomit. All over the body. “ oh my God, what’s that smell?” I mean aside from the vomit.” Lila, frantic, sweaty eyes rolling in the back of her head, wobbling trying to stand still. I’m sorry when I get nervous I can’t stop farting and I keep farting and it’s really smelly and on top of it. I vomited on the body and I just dexter it all wrong. I told you I dexter it all wrong. Suddenly they hear laughter sounds like some drunk dudes walking in the woods probably hunting. They frantically cover the body up with the branches that Lila had used before. Hurry up sit down open the beers lean on the body as if they were sitting just having a couple beers while Bestie has all the props sitting next to her, but at the time wasn’t worried about it because they were so worried about the people that were coming, did they hear them turn them in the footsteps get too drunk come up they’ve got 220 gauges no teeth. “ well what do we have here?” “ hey guys we just partied a little little bit too much. You need to take a break.” “ y’all want some company” “ oh that’s sweet but no thanks my friends not feeling so well. She was just vomiting. I gotta get her home.” Two drunk guys attempt to reach out a hand for the Besty and wanted to be able to stand up. Lila still feeling woozy from vomiting, murdering farting trips over one of the branches accidentally grabs the 20 gauge and shoots him directly in the head while falling on top of them, her hands are now in the blood as she frantically tries to get up. Friend starts screaming what did you dumb bitches do my friend Bestie being the Bestie that she is tries to? It was an accident it was an accident the other drunk guy drunk he was more like zigzag like an alligator Runs into a tree his head off. At this point you’re freaking out I don’t do they have don’t have three dead bodies, but they’ve got live gunshot rounds that are not that far off from the distance from the old lated gas station. Everyone heard us. Everyone knows so frantic Lila and Bestie make the best of their surroundings. A drag the Dexter boy in between the two dead bodies, cover up their tracks cover up the footprints, take all of the necessary equipment that Bestie brought and plot it in between the three of them to make it look like some kind of crazy Sex scheme that went wrong maybe there were some jealousy? Maybe they had a fight? Maybe they were attacked by someone else? Leah and Bessie leave the scene the crime walk back down to the gas station 18 wheeler that Lila had noticed earlier I’ve been parked around the other side . Leah’s eyes looked like a cartoon character like Bugs Bunny’s eyes popping out of his head Besty says “ was he here the whole time?” Lila shakes her head no but is saying yes I think so. After a few minutes of them trying to clean themselves up and decide to run into the dilapidated bathroom if that’s what you wanna call it covered in blood and urine at this point is trying to scrub everything off of her, open the door and the truck driver is standing right there “ so y’all dexter somebody” the truck driver starts laughing “you Dextered it all wrong” Leah starts to nervously laugh so what are you talking about? “ young lady, I was in the shitter when you were on the phone you may have thought that you were speaking quietly, but I heard everything you said” Not knowing what to do with that point, Lila grabbed the only weapon that she had this entire time the KY jelly that was in her pocket, squeezes it in his face in his eyes and nervously takes her hand rubs in it in a frantic funny way of sticking her fingers up his nostrils, clogging the KY in his ears, making sure his eyes were completely saturated. Then they run running turned into walking. They were dead silent. Neither speaking a word a long came 67 Mustang with one light out out of nowhere Lila yells, piddle, and punches her in the arm