Pleased as a Peach

Why is this alien city obsessed with picking the perfect sacrifice? Wouldn't any schmoe do? I mean, all he has to do is climb a ladder to the Ladder God's abode, and die, or live happily ever after, or whatever happens up there. But, no. They have to put on an elaborate tournament to find just the right one.

And now Bob is not telling me anything about the next elimination round. I didn't want to get this far in the first place, and now I'm forced to tackle the semifinal without a clue about what to expect. Alora keeps hearing whispers about a mountain, but the details are sketchy, and apparently, that's the point. This round tests our faith.

Bob, the Shaman leading this year's Pick-a-Sacrifice tournament, pulled me aside, looking around, trying not to be seen, and whispered, "The semifinal is outside the temple grounds."

My jaw dropped. Had he forgotten about the Elite Guard waiting for me outside these walls? They'll arrest me before I'm halfway out the gate. "I can't. You know what will happen. I'm just going to have to quit the tournament." 

"No!" Bob's eyes widened like he had just seen a ghost. "You'll be excommunicated."

"And that's bad?" It sounded good to me—anything to get out of this ridiculous tournament. 

"Yes. Very bad. I'll have to throw you out."

Talk about a rock and a hard place. If I do, the Elite Guard will arrest me. If I don't, the Elite Guard will arrest me. "So, tell me, Bob, what scenario ends with me not getting arrested?"

"I have an idea, but you're not going to like it."

He told me, and now my eyes widened like I had just seen a ghost.

The remaining forty-four hopefuls lined up for the celebrated March of Faith, a round so difficult that only two will go on to the final.

Near the end of the line, Alora and Bob gently tried to coax me into an oversized saddlebag. I didn't really mind the bag so much, but the beast carrying it bothered me very much. I've met one before, and the encounter left me with a small traumatic experience.

The tiger-like body with a mane like a lion would make any sane human pause, and the claws and sharp teeth would make any sane race from any planet throughout the entire galaxy pause–except for this planet. They think it's cute and cuddly.

"Lemmox wouldn't hurt a fly," Alora said. "Stop being a baby and hop in."

"Just because you two are besties, doesn't mean he won't eat me when no one is looking."

Alora rolled her eyes. "Dignits don't eat meat. They're kind and gentle, and the locals use them like horses."

"This is no horse."

"Either get in or face the Elite Guard."

Alora has such an annoying way of being right. I obviously have no choice. The beast looked at me like I had lost my mind as I reached out with both hands in a gesture of peace. Alora helped me get inside the saddlebag and tie it shut.

The only thing I remember about the march is the smell of leather, the feel of leather, and the sight of leather. After what felt like an eternity, Alora untied my saddlebag and helped me out. Her saddlebag ride didn't have the same effect on her as it did on me. My back ached. My arms and legs were stiff. And I was grumpy.

The march ended on top of a mountain. Not the peak, but definitely high up. Cold winds and thin air welcome us with annoying arms.

Bob stood there looking as pleased as a peach. "Good morning. You all have probably noticed by now that you have a companion with you."

Now that I think about it, why is Alora with me?

"They are your sherpas. They will guide you through the challenges ahead. You must do what they say to succeed. The first two who complete the course will be our finalists. May the Ladder God give you favor."

"You knew about this?" I asked Alora.

"Bob approached me yesterday. He thought you'd want your sister to be your sherpa."

"My sister?" I said with indignation.

"Well, it was either that or your wife."

"Sister is good."

"I took advantage of my navigation pod to map out the quickest route." Alora pulled it out and double checked.

"Wait. Let's just hang back and let these idiots try to win. You know I don't want to go through with this."

"I do, but you want off this planet, don't you? You need to make up your mind. If you want to stay, then fine. I won't stop you. But if you want to go home, then stop whining and let's get started."

Why is she always right? "Fine! Lead the way."

Alora whistled, and Lemmox raced to her. "We ride."

"Oh, no! You're not getting me on that thing."

"It's the only way."

"You know I hate these things." It was more of a plea than a statement of fact.

"Hop on." Alora held out her hand for me to take.

I hopped on.

Lemmox walked slowly. Picking his steps carefully. I looked behind and saw several hopefuls waist-deep in the snow. Apparently, the field we started in contains snow pits. Now I understand why we had to ride. Lemmox sensed where the pits were and avoided them. Unfortunately, we weren't the only ones on dignits. I noticed several others nearby.

We arrived at a massive cave entrance. I like caves about as much as I like dignits, so, knowing my luck, we have to go in there.

"We have to go in there," Alora said.

Of course we do.

We dismounted Lemmox and went on foot since dignits hate caves as much as I do.

"We're looking for a tunnel that looks like it goes straight down," Alora said. 

"So if it doesn't go straight down, where does it go?"

"To the finish line. Well, after we swim for a bit, but my navigation pod shows it's the fastest way."

She must have seen the panic on my face.

"Don't worry. I'm an excellent swimmer."

It didn't take long to find the dreaded hole. The other hopefuls had already taken one look and moved on, which, now that I think about it, is a brilliant idea.

"You know navigation pods can be wrong," I said.

"We jump." Alora walked to the edge. A blast of cold air came from the abyss.

"Let's throw a stone in and see if we can hear it hit the bottom before casting ourselves into certain death."

"On the count of three." Alora ignored me.

"Now listen to me. I'm the captain, and the captain gets to decide when…"

Alora grabbed my hand and yanked me into the darkness. We didn't fall long before hitting water. The icy cold took my breath away. It's a good thing Alora can swim, because I was in shock, unable to move. She grabbed me and swam faster than humanly possible, which makes sense, since she's an android. We made it outside the cave and saw Bob and several priests cheering and bowing at our arrival. We were the first to finish. Yay me.

We made it back to the temple the same way we left. The Elite Guard never knew we were gone.

Alora and I had a moment on that mountain. I might be the captain, but she's the one in charge. I'm sure I only got the promotion because the company doesn't allow androids to advance the corporate ladder. I'm not fit to lead. Alora has been trying to get me to see that we must win this tournament to get the dylanium, but I'm afraid of the unknown. I want certainty, not risk. In short, I'm no leader.

The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. And just like being hit with a ton of bricks, it hurt. I really thought I was in charge. But it was only an illusion. Well, I might know the truth, but there's no way in the world I'm going to let Alora know that I know.