Fairy tale ending?

School never came easy for me. I quit at a very young age. My dad ran off with some friends to make his fortune. My mom was left with me. She said she didn’t mind. Just that: she didn’t mind being left behind. I guess that’s as good as telling me that she loved me. But I think if she could have she would have left me too. I’m glad she didn’t because I think she’s real proud of me now, but I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me tell you my story of what actually happened.

It used to be whenever my dad would get real mad he would start shouting at mom and me in some language he must have learned from his dad. I’m not sure what he was saying, but it sounded a lot like a lot of effs and mms, kind of like feefifofum. He would sound pretty mad and we learned pretty quick to stay out of his way. It wasn’t long before I started to sound just like my dad whenever I was angry or upset too. More than once my mom would look at me and shake her head, either in disgust or fear or dismay. I’m not sure.

When he left, my dad left us two items from his granddad and he told us to never sell them. He said he would come back for them someday and they better be here. We guarded those things with our lives. We lived far enough away from most people that it was inconvenient for guests. And far away that there were never any surprise pop-in visitors. We felt fairly safe in leaving them out in the kitchen. In plain view. We were the only people who were ever around. Who would ever even think to drop by? No one would see our prized possessions. Ever. It was a lonely life, not having any friends. But mom and I got on just fine.

Then one day, while mom was out, I thought I’d take a short nap. I like to nap. Who doesn’t like to nap? A noise woke me. I wasn’t sure what the noise was, but it was a noise. It was kind of like when the wind is blowing and blowing and blowing up a good storm and then suddenly pauses just before the rain starts? You know, that silence that settles after the noise when the whole world is holding its breath waiting for movement or action or for your brain to remember what was that noise that you just heard a moment ago that woke you from that sound sleep. And then I heard the sound again. It was a soft ping. Like someone had plucked an elastic band, or...no, it couldn’t be someone plucking a string, in the kitchen? Not on my watch! Not when mom trusted me to protect dad’s granddad’s valuables. My ears must be tricking me.

I unwrapped myself from my warm bed and shuffled into the kitchen. Sitting on the floor was a small boy. His hand was slowly plucking one string at a time. I could hardly believe my eyes. I had to rub them a few times to make sure I was seeing straight. 

She was allowing someone, not just someone, but a complete stranger to touch her?  I had never in my life known her to remain silent. I didn’t know she had it in her to keep still and silent. She always had so much to say any other time: wash your hands, mind your manners, sit up straight; she was always harping on me about something. She could be absolutely relentless. And there she sat, acting like a golden child. All perfection and perfect. But then I knew why. This boy, this stranger couldn’t know our secrets. We couldn’t let him know about our golden harp and how she sang such beautiful songs. This boy would want to take her. He might steal her away and sell her for money. I needed to be smart and think fast. I needed to get this boy out of our house and fast. So what did I do? I used those words that my dad would shout whenever he was angry and feeling loud.

FEE FI FO FUM! FEE FI FO FUM!!! I bellowed as loudly as I could. It seemed to be working because that little boy jumped so high and so fast his feet barely hit the ground as he tumbled out the door and out of sight.  Good riddance I thought to myself. And don’t come back.

I had just wandered down to milk the cow and to gather eggs before mom got home. I knew if that boy came back it wouldn’t be because he wanted to be my new best friend. He wanted something of monetary value instead. So I wasn’t all that surprised to find him in our hen house. He was deep in conversation with one hen in particular and she didn’t look all that impressed with what he had to say. She does lay brown eggs and white eggs and if she is feeling generous, she will gift you a golden egg. But it is just that, a gift. And she decides who and when she will give that gift to. It was quite obvious that she did not like this boy and he was not going to get even a white or brown egg from her. 

So once again I summoned up my inner roar and yelled, “FEE FI FO FUM! Look out boy, here I come! FEE FI FO FUM!”

And once again, that boy went running. He ran out the barn door so fast that he left behind his jacket. He stumbled and fell over his feet in his rush to get away from me. It looked like he fell right out of sight. But I didn’t care, I needed to calm down the hen and get my chores done. Mom was due home soon and she was going to expect these things to be done. She was going to be so proud of me for protecting our family valuables! It was my smart, quick thinking to use my dad’s words to scare away that boy.

Now, you may hear some people say that I am the fool who was tricked. Some people like to say that I had my golden harp stolen. People will say that our hen who lays golden eggs was taken from us. That is not what actually happened at all. That boy ran away so scared, he was crying and calling for his mommy. Everyone could hear him calling, “Help! Help! Get an axe! Help me!” 

Imagine that, he broke into my house and tried to steal my father’s things and he is the one calling for help? Crime doesn’t pay. He never should have tried to sneak in. Maybe if he had knocked on the door, we could have been friends. We will never know. Kindness matters most and that’s where friendships begin. If only Jack had knocked…