I have been starring at a wall for about 45 minutes. Some of you might say that they can absolutely relate while others are wondering if I have anything better to do. The truth is…I am shocked.
Well, let me start from the beginning.
I was like most kids growing up, with enormous dreams and I was sure that I would be a millionaire and an accomplished businesswoman by the age of 20. Well…I forgot to tell you that I was four years old when I thought that. Then I grew up and I heard words like “Oh, you are such a dreamer,” but I didn’t completely lose hope.
I obviously had challenges. Daring me me to face them, standing right in front of me like a bull. Trust me, I knew what I needed to do and taking a bull by it's horns was not easy. My biggest dare was to have a meticulous business plan in order to get funding.
“I got it.”
I recall how Thandi's piercing squeal evoked something in me. Anxiety. I was happy for her of cause, and in better circumstances, I would have been ecstatic. Instead, I thought about the society and their questions such as...
"How is it possible that your friend received funding and you didn't?"
I had a glimmer of hope ofcause, If she got funded, I would get funded too, after all, they needed 10 people and I had a chance of being one of the nine.
I waited, and waited and waited…
“Hey Alicia, I also received funding.”
Yes, Ally received funding!
Ally Sprinkles...and guess what, she did not even believe in the existence of The Ultimate Creator!
Then I waited, and waited and waited…
Upon my enquiry, I was welcomed by “Your proposal was good, but not good enough.”
“Try next year, will ya?” The lady at the reception sympathetically said.
You are also probably as shocked as I was.
I forgot to mention, you might probably think that we are a strange group of species to earth people. We believe in The Ultimate Creator and we use elements to connect to The Ultimate Creator. Our family element is Light. Thando’s family element is also Light.
So, Thando and I spoke to The Ultimate Creator together. We edited each other’s business proposals. So, why did she get the business opportunity and I didn't?
I could not help but feel the unfairness. All those years of listening to my mom telling me that we are equal and The Ultimate Creator can make things happen for us all. This was not what I pictured. I might have said that it was because our family element was weak if Thando and I received the same feedback.
The argument with my family dragged on for some time as I told them that I wanted to quit Light, they felt betrayed. How could they feel betrayed? What about me? What about my betrayal? This was not about them anyway.
“What is wrong with me mom? Haven’t I communicated to The Ultimate Creator enough?”
I remember uttering those words as I felt some weight on my shoulders. I felt exhausted, but I was not physically tired. I could really feel people judging me for failing myself and my family.
“You have so much to be grateful for. You know." My family said.
I went around the planet, trying to find a way to fix my life and to find the right element. An element that would be the most powerful communication channel.
I was a bee attracted to pollen. Going from element to element.
Attracted by four sweet words…
“I have a testimonial.”
I embraced Water…
I embraced Nature…
I embraced Air…
I have to admit, I always felt powerful when each element was introduced and powerless after five months or so.
My eyes turned into a waterfall as I continuously applied for business funds. Hoping each time that I chose the right element to connect to The Ultimate Creator.
I couldn’t understand, if these elements were communication channels, why didn’t they work? Perhaps I was wrong. I judged earth too soon. I was in a wrong planet. How I wished I had a spaceship at that time. Earth would probably have done me some good.
Then I decided to be like Ally, to not believe in the existence of The Ultimate Creator.
I still didn't feel free. It was as if something was missing. Then I realized that this was not about the business funding. It was a different feeling, an emptiness within. A hollow feeling that even getting funding would not fix. I suddenly couldn't believe that that was the only thing I kept my eyes on for so long. My blinkers only focused on being a successful businesswoman. My excuse was, I would have an impact on people's lives with this business and help my family, but it was very much on a pedestal. I felt lost, I missed my family and my friends.
After running around the planet like a headless chicken, I finally caved in and went home.
I finally went home, with a tail between my legs. Figuratively, don't get any ideas. We are also humans.
I had to apologise for everything, for squandering money and for mocking their element.
“So, what is your element this time?” My forward sister asked.
The entire family looked at me in anticipation.
“Light", I said.
“I choose Light, I am just going to live my life, find a job again and see if I can go back to college. I will probably save up to start a business. Although, I have applied for funding for one last time.”
After my mother found me overwatering flowers and after telling her of how sorry I still was, my phone rang, disrupting our peaceful moment of warm embrace. I was about to tell her how I thought about everyone and how I missed home. I also wanted to tell her that I was not happy at all after leaving home. The truth is, despite me distancing myself from everyone, I knew that I would want my family to be the first to know about my success.
“Who is it?” She asked.
“It's the funding company.”
“Yes, yes, yes, okay.” I said, talking to the person on the other end of the line.
I ended the call and starred at my mother as I began to tear up.
“It's okay honey.”
“I need to go to my room to process things.”
"Wait, what did they say?"
“Hi,” a voice said as I opened the door.
“How do you feel?” The voice continued.
“What do you mean? Who is speaking to me? Where are you? Why are you speaking to me? Am I dreaming?”
“It’s me, The Ultimate Creator. I didn’t know which element to choose as a form because you have tried them all. Although I chose Nature, because there are pot plants in your room.”
“It was easy, and the most accessible. I wish I would have been a bit more dramatic you know. Like a blazing fire or a giant waterfall.” The voice continued.
“That would have been too dramatic, even for you,” I said.
“I know. Wait a minute, you think I am dramatic? That hurts.”
“Is this real? Am I really talking to a plant? There is no way you could be in a plant.”
“Don't worry. This is all real. Can you believe it? I have been right here this entire time. I was right here. I will always be.”
“You mean that I travelled this whole planet and you were in my flower?”
The voice chuckled.
“No silly, I was within you. You were too stubborn to hear me. To listen to me. To believe in me and to believe in you. Although I gave to say, atleast you got one heck of an adventure.”
"I don't believe this. Then why don't you speak within me?"
"Hahaha, you are funny. Piece of advice, work hard, but don't try too hard. Please have faith in me, even if it is just a pinch."
"Can you stick around then, to give me advices and stuff?"
“I am always around. I have been right here. I have always been right here.”
Then room went completely silent.