The Hallutionations

Day one, Saturday 9:00 AM: I feel pretty silly and paranoid keeping a journal over this. But I want a record of my symptoms. In case I did catch something from the guy yesterday. I mean maybe he had some undiscovered virus. A record of my symptoms could help the doctors. I guess maybe that kinda thinking does mean I’m paranoid.

What am I doing? I guess I should explain what happened yesterday. I was walking home through a shortcut when I ran into a very sick old man. At first, I couldn't tell what he looked like, because the hood on his coat was hiding his face. I only knew that he was struggling to stand, and his breathing sounded very labored. So I tried to help him up. But as soon as I saw his face I dropped him.

I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it. I’ve never seen anyone who looked like that. He was certainly alive, but he looked almost mummified. Except he still had eyes, which were terrifying. It looked as though those bloodshot, dilated orbs could fall out at any moment. After stumbling away, I called an ambulance to pick the old man up. Then I started walking back home as soon as the ambulance left.

I started coughing shortly after I got back home. Since, I’ve been coughing semi-frequently since. Not often enough to warrant a visit to my doctor, though. So I started writing a journal in this notebook I found. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if this cough gets worse. Well, I think that’s been enough writing for today.

Day Two, Sunday 9:00 AM: Yesterday was mostly normal, pretty boring actually. I did my usual chores around town plus cleaning my house before going out to buy groceries. The weather seems to have mellowed since Friday. I passed the time watching TV while looking at my phone like always. My cough even went away somewhat. Like I said, there isn’t much to note. However, there are a couple of slightly odd things I have noticed. Odd as well as kind of annoying things.

First I noticed that since about a little afternoon yesterday, I’ve been weirdly itchy. It’s very minor but a little annoying. I certainly don’t think it’s anything to worry about, it’s probably all in my head anyway. Both this tiny itch and that humming might have something to do with the stress from Friday. The other thing I’ve noticed is a weird low humming noise. It almost sounds like a soft buzz. Like the itching, it’s super minor and probably all in my head. Besides, they’re both occasional plus pretty easy to ignore. I think that’s all I have to write for now.

Day Four, Tuesday 6:30 PM: I think I’m really getting over whatever is going on. That buzzing sound went away and today has been nearly entirely normal. The worst part of my day was lugging around a lot of heavy packages at work. The weirdest parts of my day were a small handful of moments that were probably nothing. There were a couple of times I think I noticed some vaguely weird smells. I don’t think I can describe it very well. It was probably just some strange stuff in one or more of the packages at work today. People ship weirdly scented stuff all the time.

I also noticed that my lunch tasted slightly off in a hard to describe way. But that's probably just because of the weird smell.

Day Five, Wednesday 8:45 PM: Today has been easily the worst day I’ve had in a long time. First I noticed some bizarre random biting and stinging sensations all over. They aren’t super painful, they are a little. Mostly they are just super annoying, so they make it difficult to concentrate. This started around nine in the morning and hasn’t stopped since. It’s actually making it hard to write right now. As bad as this is, it’s not the only weird thing happening today. Not even close.

The weird smells and tastes have gotten far worse. I’m constantly noticing weird distracting smells. They aren’t gross smells really. Just very, very off, as well as kind of vaguely unnerving. Every time I try to eat something I can barely choke it down. It all tastes like a freaky alien version of what it should taste like. It just feels terrible. I’ll make an appointment with my doctor if I’m not getting any better by the time I get home tomorrow.

For now, I can deal with it, most of these symptoms seem to come and go anyway. They could easily as well be gone tomorrow . I think I’ll just let myself stop here for now and get some much-needed sleep.

Day Six, Thursday 5:15 PM: Today has been even worse than yesterday. Far worse, in fact, I haven’t gotten better at all. My symptoms have only become more severe. On top of that, old symptoms have returned with a vengeance. The buzzing noise along with my cough are back and worse than ever. Also, I’m exhausted, like can’t stop yawning tired. All of it is making it really difficult to write at this point. As soon as I was home I made an appointment with my doctor for seven in the morning tomorrow.

I might go to the emergency room now, but last I heard it’s very busy. I’m sure I can handle this for one more day. Besides, I prefer to see my normal doctor, especially when I’m not sure how serious something is. I think that’s about all I can write for now. I should just distract myself from my problems for a while and then get some sleep.

Day Seven, Thursday 6:05 AM: I’m still getting worse. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that none of my symptoms had gone away. They’re getting more severe. Plus, I have new ones, a sore throat, a throbbing headache along with a burning fever. Jesus, this is getting scary. I still think I can drive but I have to hurry and wrap this up here. There may not be time for me to write much more now. I’ll just throw this notebook plus a couple of other things in my backpack and head to my doc.

Thursday 3:35 PM: Well I think I’m starting to feel better now, knock on wood. But I don’t know when I’ll be able to get home. I woke up in this hospital bed about an hour ago. Apparently I fainted shortly after I got out of my car. I was in a mini coma for several hours. I told the nurse about this journal as soon as I woke up. About twenty minutes later she brought it back, along with some pills for me to take.

Since the doctors seem to know what’s wrong I guess I don’t need to write anymore. I’m still writing, however, because I recently realized how much it helps me relax. I’m just glad that I seem to be getting better. As much as I’ve grown to like to write, I should stop and get some sleep. This week has been so bizarre, hopefully it’s all over now.

Log one: I have no idea where I am or how I got here? Hell I don’t know what time or even day it is. I just woke up here in this empty, white padded room. It’s really creepy in here, there are no windows. The only things in this room beside me are: a minimalist but comfortable bed, a toilet, a shower and for some reason my notebook. I don’t have a clue why whoever put me in here wants me to keep writing. I’ll keep writing though, it’s the one that I have to keep myself calm and sane.

On the bright side all my symptoms still seem to be gone. However, that does make my current situation more confusing and worrying. If I was still sick, I would just assume I was just being quarantined . That would be pretty scary too, but I would at least have an explanation for why I’m here. As scary as this is, I don’t think I have much more to say about it now. So I will stop here for now.

Log two: I’ve been in here for a while, about five hours I think. Still, I haven’t seen anyone. For all I know no one is out there. I tried banging on the door as hard as I could.I also tried yelling out and slipping a note through the little slot that is probably for food. Because I feel trapped. On top of that I’m getting frustrated by that buzzing noise coming from the AC vent. But sadly trying to get attention in here seems to be a useless.

Log three: Damn it! There is already a food tray by the door. They must have left it while I was sleeping. I have no idea how long I will have to wait for the next one or how the schedule works. As if missing my chance to get answers from someone wasn’t bad enough. I woke up feeling exhausted in a cold sweat from a horrible nightmare, about dying in the desert. Also, I think the busted AC is getting louder.

At least I have something to eat now. I guess I can continue writing this while I eat. The food seems to be some weird gruel and it tastes kinda off. Which is extra weird because it looks as well as smells like the blandest food in the world. Even the water they left with the food tastes pretty weird. Despite all this it’s still better than nothing besides I’m so hungry, I have to eat it now. With that terrible lunch, breakfast or dinner I have no idea, out of the way. I don’t think I have much left to write about except the terrible dream.

I don’t know why I dream't that I was dying from exposure in the desert. The temperature in this room is perfectly fine. That was the first nightmare I’ve had in a long time. On top of that, I have no idea why my mind dream't it up. I hope I will be able to get better rest later. Well, I suppose all I can do now is wait and try to stay awake for my next meal. I might try to do something about that buzz coming from the AC while I wait. Or at least figure out why it’s happening. I’m getting desperately bored as annoyed.

Like I said I was going to do, I tried as hard as I could to remove the grill from the vent. But it just wouldn’t budge. I passed out from exhaustion. Man I wish I had something else to do. Something that could keep my mind off that smell as well as that buzzing noise. I’m almost more frustrated than scared at this point. I probably would be if I wasn’t so horrifically helpless right now.

Despite all this I do have some good news. I actually woke up feeling well rested after some decent sleep plus a very nice dream. I’ll just say my dream started with a message and leave it at that. Considering everything else it’s not that great of a silver lining, but it’s better than nothing. I better stop here to try taking a quick nap, so I can stay awake for the next time they feed me.

Log five: I guess the third time wasn’t the charm. I missed it again but that’s far from the only bad thing that happened to me since my last log. First I woke up in a puddle of my own sweat after having another nightmare. I dreamt that I was being eaten alive by a giant spider. The whole thing was so disturbingly vivid, especially the biting and scratching. After showering off the sweat, I realized why I woke up so covered in sweat. Of course the nightmare had something to do with it. But I’m sure it was mostly due to the AC.

It has been blowing out hot air since before I woke up. This room doesn’t have a water fountain or anything like that. Up until now that has been fine because the water bottles they leave with the food have been enough. Now it’s so hot that I’ve been drinking out of the shower. But no matter what I do I still feel so hot and thirsty. I don’t think my mouth or throat has ever been this dry. I would be trying to get someone to fix it but I don’t think that would work for a few reasons. Mostly because I’m not sure it’s broken.

As for why I think that. Well, a couple of the people working here must have gotten sloppy. Because I managed to overhear something I don’t think they don’t want me to know. At least I think I did. I’m not sure because it was pretty muffed. I was only able to hear it through the door because I got lucky, or maybe unlucky. These monsters that are keeping me here were talking about their plans for me. And about what I’ve been doing in this room. How do they know that? This tiny room doesn’t have any windows or cameras that I can see.

They also talked about me hallucinating. I couldn’t quite make out the context. But, I think it has something to do with the experiments they talked about doing. I think they’re planning to perform strange experiments on my mind. Experiments involving putting some weird little things in my brain. I couldn’t make out exactly what, but that doesn’t matter. I just know that I have to get out of here soon. So I probably should stop writing for now to figure out what I’m going to do.

Log six: Damn it’s hard to write this, I’m so itchy. I feel like I’m getting bitten, scratched as well as stung all over. But there’s nothing on me. I think my old symptoms are coming back. Maybe that’s the explanation for the buzz, the heat, the weird tastes, smells and possibly more. No, that couldn’t be it. It all seems so real. How can I know what’s real if I can’t trust my senses? No, no, no, why would the hallucinations only be coming from certain locations? It all makes much more sense if they’re doing this to me.

If I’ve been hallucinating, and they want to help me then why have they been ignoring me? NO, they must be doing this to me. That’s why as soon as I realized that they can see what I’m doing. Therefore, they probably intentionally drop off the food tray while I’m asleep. I pretended to be asleep. Then sure enough the food tray came shortly after I ‘fell asleep’. I didn’t try to get their attention, though I can’t trust these people. But now I know that they’re watching me for sure.

They see and hear me suffering, yet they have done nothing. Well, they were doing nothing until recently. Recently they sent someone in a hazmat suit to try to ask me some questions. When he first walked in, right before I saw him blink for the first time. I swear he seemed to have bug-like eyes. Almost like a fly’s eyes.

At first, I played along with the interview. In a desperate attempt to learn what they were doing. But after several minutes of thinking about those bug eyes or the conversation I overheard. While listening to his frustrating probing questions. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I tore at his suit and chased him off. As he was running out of the room, I saw some bizarre little creature quickly crawl through a hole I tore in his suit. I couldn’t tell what it was, but it looked kinda like some sort of bug. I think that’s all I have the energy to write for now.

Log seven: Fuck fuck fuck, they’re inside me. Get them out, please god just get them out. I’m so scared I can’t fucking think. God damn it. I can’t stop crying, I’m so god damn scared. Help me. They’re everywhere. They’re all over the walls, the floor and the ceiling. They’re so hideous. I can feel them crawling all throughout my body. They’re in my nose, ears and head. They’re behind my eye, they’re in my eyes. They’re under my skin. They’re crawling along my damn spine. What the god damn fucking shit are they doing to me? I have to get them out, I must get them out. I can’t get them out. What am I going to do? I haven’t stopped screaming since I woke up. They’re in me. Make them stop. Make them oh god please just please make them go away. I feel so helpless. I’ve never felt so helpless. Please just help me please god please. No no no no please stop it. God, please I can hear them crawling in my fucking ears.

Log eight: I must have fallen asleep from pure stress and exhaustion. I still can feel and hear those things inside me. But I just don’t have the emotional or physical energy to care anymore. On the bright side, I’m probably going to die very soon. Before I have a chance to learn what these things are doing to me. I’ve vomited several times since I woke up, I’m dizzy as hell, I have a scorching fever, a dry burning throat, a sharp cough, a pounding headache along with every symptom I ever had since this all began. So I probably won’t be writing or breathing much longer.