The brilliance of a thousand breaths

I feel heavy, as if I am walking with concrete caked onto my shoes. I look down and see the opaqueness of my being. My hands are fading, and I can't hear myself breathe. I close my eyes and count.... one...two...three. I open my eyes, and I see a dusky sunset off to the right. To the left there is a clift that reaches out so far to the depths of a great plain, that I wonder how I can reach the bottom.

I am not aware of who I am, where I am or how I came to be in this odd place. I suddenly feel the rush of wind that sweeps me off of my heavy feet and I am falling far into the depths of a different world. I feel light as a feather, and I land softly onto a wet dewy grass. I see headstones placed neatly in a row. I begin to read names, the beginning and end of a life. What about that dash in the middle? What ever came to be in this person's life?

As I aimlessly begin to read more names, I come across a familiar name, with a face that I have seen in the mirror millions of times over. The picture shows green eyes that have a gleam of light in them, a soft subtle smile that appears to be hiding something mysterious and a soft blue shirt. Is this my resting place, I wonder?

I casually sway back to more names, familiar family names and see that my father, my aunt and my grandparents names are carved into these stones.

All of a sudden I am hit with a feeling of remorse. I begin to think of what my life was like when I was on earth and what had caused my departure? As I decipher my next move, I see a piece of paper floating around. I am able to grasp it, and I see that it is a part of my obituary. My name, birthday and date of death glistens on this white coarse paper. I haven't accomplished much in life. In fact, I feel like I had let many people down. I am feeling sick to my stomach, and starting to sweat. As I lay against a tree, I wipe my brow with a leaf. I feel shaken and wonder if my life was just like a fleeting breath. What could I have done different? Was there more I could of done for others, more I could have done to live longer?

I rest my eyes as I am against the tree, and start to count down.... three, two, one. I wake up and I hear the birds chirping. The sun is peaking through my blinds, I feel my face, my blanket and hear my husband snoring. Was it a dream that I just had? I sit up, and I look at my hands. Solid and soft, fingers can wiggle. How could I have seen my future? I decided that day, that I couldn't take my life for granted. I needed to do something more significant, to leave behind a legacy that would carry on for years to come. I don't know why I never thought of the more important things in life. I walk down the hall and see my precious girl sleeping, tucked in with her favorite teddy bear. She turns, and opens her big brown eyes. "Mommy, can you tell me a story?" I sat next to her toddler bed, and started...." Once upon a time, there was this mommy that lived an extraordinary life." "Mommy, were you a princess?" "No darling, I was just an ordinary person that decided to make a remarkable change in her life." "How does the story end?" She asks. "It ends when I wake up to see a bright sunset, the sunniest of sunshine and realize that I lived a life of brilliance after a thousand things in my life caught my breath, and I realize that I made a difference. "I like that ending, mommy. Can I see the sunset?" "Oh, honey, lets get up. There is a remarkable sunrise outside, and it's much nicer to see the sunrise because then you know that you have woken up for a new day." She hugged me, and I grasped her small hand and we stepped outside on the dewy grass and the sunrise was the start to a new breath of life.

Moral of the story: Have you ever caught yourself feeling like you are in a constant phase where life feels drab? That our moments are fleeting away, that we just never get a change to do something to change the way we are, the way we speak to others or make a difference? What if one day, you woke up knowing that your life is over- would you regret it? Would you want a redo? Take a moment each day, even if it is 5 minutes, and find something that takes your breath away. We are only 1 breath away from our demise. Might as well make it a brilliant one.

I know that I am going to try to be a better human. I want to know that I am not going to regret this life. I want to follow my dreams, my ambitions and not take for granted the simple things in life. We all fall short, but the rising up and shining becomes the glory. Our whole being is here on this earth for a reason. There is purpose under Heaven. There is peace in the wake of a tragedy. There is greatness in each of us. Make this your best life, as this is your only life. Be kind, courteous and make sure that you make this life count. Be someone's friend when no one else will. Be the person that you were meant to be. Be that brilliant shining star in the vast darkness of a sky. You matter. We all matter.