Contest #23 winner 🏆

120 comments

Fantasy Horror Fiction

The boy should have known something was wrong the moment he glanced back over his shoulder, but he was too tired and wary and afraid to register the truth. He followed the sound of the keening pipe. Its unfamiliar melody, absurdly cheerful, jarred him from the carnage. It filtered through the pores of his skin and infused him with the strength and warmth he needed to run through the icy clutches of winter.

The forest muffled the sounds within and beyond it as if the trees themselves swallowed noise—all but the tune of the unseen piper. Time stood still, cradled between the labyrinth of jutting roots and a cotton-cloud sky that was falling apart. Tufts of snow floated down through naked branches as if massive pillowcases had exploded during a massive pillow fight between massive gods who did not care that far below them the falling snow sizzled against flames that devoured a village.

Run, his mother had rasped, pushing him through the back door of their home, the door that led to the chickens and pigs, and he’d run until he’d fallen, slipping in the snow and in the refuse of the squealing animals, his vision fractured by his tears. He turned back then, ashamed to have run, ashamed to have left her, even though she no longer quite looked like his mother.

Once she’d been beautiful—the belle of the village, people said. Then the red blotches appeared, lesions that began on her arms and spread across her chest and throat, an army of ants beneath her skin that disfigured her face and body. She did not cry out when she cut a finger or burnt her hands in the kitchen. Her once-lush hair fell from her scalp like shorn wheat, littering the floor in clumps. Yet her eyes were always his mother’s eyes, calm and blue and cool like a damp cloth against a fevered brow, radiating such love that he felt she embraced him even when she avoided touching him. She was all he had left, the only person who cared enough to weep and caress his face when lesions spread across his own back and grew thick like the pedicles of a second spine.

When he crept back into the house, keeping to the shadows, the boy found nothing left of his mother but a dark stain on the floorboards that streaked from the kitchen to the bedroom. A man appeared in that doorway, his body and face sheathed in fabrics and spells that would not let the infection touch him, gripping a sword that wept red tears from its edge. The boy hid until the man turned away, and then sprinted back out into the night. He ran through the streets, dodging the hooves of horses and the torched firewood that the yelling soldiers threw his way.

He fell only once, when something sharp hit his head.

It seemed he opened his eyes mere seconds later. Snow filled his nostrils until he raised his head; once he did, the scent of smoke engulfed him. The crackle of the fires was nearly drowned by screams that would not end. He scrambled to his feet, the snow beneath him stained crimson as if with wine, and stumbled away from the slaughter and toward the trees.

And so now he ran, torn by despair and fear, amazed that his matchstick legs could outrun the sinewy limbs of the armored horses and the fiery wrath of their riders’ flamethrowers. He wished he could have found—could have lifted—the ax that had been his father’s, with its handle longer than his arm, and swung it into the chest of anyone who dared approach his mother. He wished he had not left her when she pushed him out of their home. He wished he had not seen her blood upon the floor. He wished someone would have come to their village to cure instead of to eradicate.

The forest echoed with the shrieks of women who fought and pled and bled as gloved soldiers dragged them through the streets and pushed them into burning homes, of men as their hands—along with the pitchforks or knives they held in them—were severed by swords whetted on the bones of prior villagers, of children who collapsed when those who chased them flung torches at their backs. And above all this, the haunting croon of a pipe, promising all that a hurt little boy could desire, and so to that piping this little boy fled.

The more he ran, the stronger he felt. When he could no longer hear the screams and the flames, the boy realized what the song said, even though there were no words. It spoke of melted snows and rays of sun that embraced all whom they touched like warm knit sweaters. It spoke of a father who opened his eyes as color filled his cheeks and laughter spilled from his mouth. It spoke of a mother whose skin was smooth and soft and smelled of vanilla and kneaded bread. It spoke of brothers and sisters who danced and teased and loved and lived, who picked him up when he scarred his knees and told him stories when he could not sleep. It spoke of a world where bad things couldn’t come, where he could be free to grow old and weathered and well-loved like the most kindly of grandfathers.

The boy ran faster, fast enough that it felt like he flew, anxious to get to the world the song spoke of. He even began to catch glimpses of the piper through the trees. Though he scampered and danced as he played his pipe, he appeared sometimes before, sometimes behind, and sometimes beside the boy. He wore a black hooded cloak that hid his face. Beneath it his clothes were pied, a patchwork of vibrant color impossible to miss whenever the wind whipped back the cloak. His pipe and fingers were white, of bone.

And just like the boy, he left no footprints in the snow.  

January 08, 2020 19:37

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

120 comments

Gracie Tello
02:39 Jan 17, 2020

I loved your metaphor about the sword weeping red tears. Your story is haunting. Thank you for sharing it.

Reply

Angeliki P
15:31 Jan 17, 2020

Thank you! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
15:29 Jan 17, 2020

Oh wow. This is truly fantastic.

Reply

Angeliki P
15:33 Jan 17, 2020

:) Thank you very much!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Courtney Myers
02:01 Jan 17, 2020

I really enjoyed this story; it's so well-written, and the dark but ultimately beautiful - or, perhaps horrifying, if you take that interpretation - tone is gorgeous. Congratulations on your win with this!

Reply

Angeliki P
15:31 Jan 17, 2020

Thanks so much -- I'm happy the darkness and beauty shone through!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Brittany Gillen
11:22 Jan 14, 2020

I liked your visual of the snow falling like feathers from a pillow fight, a comforting image amidst all the violence.

Reply

Angeliki P
17:42 Jan 14, 2020

Thank you! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Laurentz Baker
21:51 Feb 03, 2020

Enjoyed the journey through the wooded winter wonderland. I'm reading imploring the boy to run. You can make it. But then the vision of the piper like the grim reaper brought the realization his time is expired.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Dora Bona
09:34 Jan 18, 2020

Beautiful story, almost like a poem with its vivid imagery. Also loved the contrast you created with the pure white snow and the dark, haunting descriptions of the slaughter that taints it. Well deserved winner!

Reply

Angeliki P
09:51 Jan 19, 2020

Thanks so much! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
K. Sargent
17:21 Jan 17, 2020

Your story is chilling and beautiful. You seamlessly capture the emotions and the experiences in a sensory way - visual, sound, scent, touch. As I read, I could clearly imagine the events as they were unfolding. Congratulations on this honor!

Reply

Angeliki P
09:56 Jan 19, 2020

:) Thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Unknown User
05:39 Feb 05, 2020

<removed by user>

Reply

Show 0 replies
Chris Sharrock
20:12 Jan 21, 2020

I really liked how you gave enough information to the reader to put the events together and learn about the characters without having to give every detail explicitly. Made it very fun to read and gave it a feel of being applicable to many times and many places, not just one. I also really like where you went with the prompt, ghostly and hopeful at the same time

Reply

Show 0 replies
03:57 Jan 19, 2020

I loved it! I see why you won!! It was creative, elegant, and made you picture a detailed scene. I would make it a little more concise if anything. The style of writing is complex yet brilliant but, at least for me, it was a little hard to understand. Super amazing story! truly!

Reply

Angeliki P
09:50 Jan 19, 2020

I agree with you completely on the conciseness -- it actually started out smaller but I had to reach the 1000 word count for the contest. :) Thank you for your kind words!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ratika Deshpande
16:32 Jan 17, 2020

Wow. I was quite proud of my story, but this is something else. Almost like a fairy-tale. Beautiful. Loved it!

Reply

Angeliki P
09:56 Jan 19, 2020

:) Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Monique Mortimer
12:41 Jan 17, 2020

Can clearly see why this story won. It's dark, beautiful and so well written. Congrats :)

Reply

Angeliki P
15:34 Jan 17, 2020

:) Thank you for your kind words!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Barbara Eustace
12:15 Jan 17, 2020

A truly beautiful haunting tale

Reply

Angeliki P
15:34 Jan 17, 2020

Thanks so much! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Alko Crow
01:17 Jan 17, 2020

W hoa- I was disappointed to see that my story didn't win, but when I read yours I was like, you deserve winning more than I do. ^^

Reply

Angeliki P
15:32 Jan 17, 2020

:) That's very kind of you -- thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Madison C.
00:57 Jan 16, 2020

Wow, so good. The ending was powerful.

Reply

Angeliki P
15:33 Jan 17, 2020

Thanks so much! By the time I got to the end, it pretty much wrote itself. I knew there would be a glimpse of bone... somewhere. :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
J'nae Rae Spano
23:54 Jan 15, 2020

Morbidly beautiful.

Reply

Angeliki P
15:33 Jan 17, 2020

Much appreciated! <3

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Roha Khan
09:43 Jan 15, 2020

Enchanting

Reply

Angeliki P
11:19 Jan 15, 2020

:) So glad you enjoyed it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
08:38 Mar 13, 2024

Hello I`m a university student and your story was given to me as an assignment could you please share with me about yourself like your -full name -other notable works by you -what inspired you to come up with the story pied piper -awards received by you other than for Pied Piper -your education and university -your age and since when you started writing p.s. I really enjoyed reading your story and I loved the way you described certain things beautifully even though the situation in the story was ...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Terry Jaster
00:15 Feb 25, 2024

They say that death is the only sure thing. They say your whole life flashes before your eyes. They say I was in a bright/dark tunnel. I don't know what happens. I do think that this story is a very passable description. Thank you for your story and please keep up the good work.

Reply

Show 0 replies
A.B. Writer
22:38 Oct 08, 2023

THIS. IS. AMAZING. I love how the violence and the little peace of death incorperate into each other. Though the boy was running from death, he ended up finding it, and I like how it ended with the boy finding the Grim Reaper. Love this! Write more PLEASE.

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.