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I woke up to the golden sunlight that poured into my room. I stretched then took the covers off and smiled. My diaper. I couldn’t believe I was wearing one! And it was all thanks to Jade! I stood up and felt the urge. I shrugged. Might as well. I watched it swell up. Ah, relief! I undid and took it off. “Now for a nice shower!” I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. My blond hair was getting awfully long. Should I? I looked at the razor and bit my lip. Nah. I stepped into the stall and turned the water on.
After my shower, I returned to my room and opened my dresser. I rummaged through my panties and stopped. I had a couple of diapers left. Should I? I turned around, grabbed one off my chair, and opened the plastic brief. I paused. No, this was crazy! I'm not into diapers! I grabbed my panties and put them on. That's better! I grabbed my shorts and put one leg through when I looked at the diaper.
"I don't like diapers!"
I put my shirt on and walked out into the hall.
The deal was over. I did what Jade wanted.
But, it sure was enjoyable. I went into the kitchen.
I mean, the diaper wasn't that bad.
Do I really…? Oh! What the hell! I rushed back into my room and took my blouse off. I dropped my panties and snatched a diaper. I'm fucking doing this! I opened the diaper, closed it around my crotch, and stuck the tapes on.
It felt… nice! I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I smiled. “Yes,” I whispered. My diaper looked cute on me. I twirled around. This was awesome! I never thought I could be happy, wearing a diaper! I mean when I came home yesterday, I was going to change into my clothes, but I realized my dad was still at work, so I stayed in the diaper, except when I had to go because that would be too... My stomach rumbled. Breakfast time! I patted my diaper and smiled.
I felt comfortable. No bra riding up, no sweaty shirt and pants… Just a cool, comfy diaper!
I walked out into the hall, enjoying the freedom of being almost nude. “Hey, Maxie," I said as my German Shepard sat on the ugly brown couch. He panted as I walked into the kitchen and made toast. This is pretty cool. I'm in the kitchen making toast… in just a diaper. My diaper. Hmm… I took a bite. My diaper… Hmm? I finished eating and rinsed off the plate. I put it back in the cabinet and glanced at the clock: 10:09. I wonder what Jade is doing right now.
I returned to my room and I checked my phone. One message from Cecilia. I opened it:
Girl, check this video out!
Below her message embedded a video:
CHICK IN A DIAPER.
Nice title. I rolled my eyes and tapped the video. It played. I watched as I took my pants off in front of a crowd of students. My diaper showed clearly. I watched as I said: “Babies don’t wear grown-up clothes, then took my shirt and bra off. “Awesome!” I whispered, .a sense of proudness overtook me. Yeah, that really happened. I smiled and typed: Yay! i'm famous! =]
I felt like I was changing, but into what? I didn’t feel like a baby. I looked at my phone. How should I carry this? I looked down at my diaper. No! not there! I shrugged. I’ll figure that out later. I laid my phone on the table.
I have to talk to someone,
I stood up and walked to the door. I looked down at my diaper and patted it. Taking a deep breath, I opened it and stepped out. the sun hit my bare body. it felt so nice. I covered my breasts and walked to my bike. I stopped and sighed. Do I really want to expose them? or should I go put on a shirt? I looked down. it’s just my chest, and I have the right to show it. I bit my lip..
well… I did this once… I uncovered them and felt a warm breeze blow on my breasts. Close my eyes and took it in. I opened my eyes. I must be insane, but who cares? I hopped on my bike pedaled in ties e street. Luckily, no one was around. I rode to the end and turned. I rode five houses down and turned into my friend’s driveway.
I rang the doorbell.
the door opened. “Hello — Whoa!”
“Yeah, I kinda like diapers now.”
“ Come in, you're so lucky my dad is out of town!”
I stepped in. “I don’t know. I stayed in it after I got home and slept in it
“So you like diapers? I don’t care. you be you. although, you really need to cover up in public. don’t your parents know?"
“Not yet. they got home late as usual."
"Oh."
“But, I think I prefer wearing this over clothes.”
“Wait, are you considering—"
I nodded.
“You can't go around in that.”
“But, I love the freedom. Plus, my diapers are super comfy… you should try, Mimi.”
“”Uh, no thanks. What about school?”
“I know. What do I do?”
“If you really like diapers, wear them to school. “You can wear them underneath your clothes.”
“The more I think about putting clothes on, the more I don't want to.”
“Beth, what's wrong with you?” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “You need to wear clothes.”
“I know. Hey, walk with me outside.”
“WHAT?”
“Come on, it’s a beautiful day.”
“Let's get your clothes first.”
“No.”
“Then, no.”
“Please.”
“Beth, this is crazy! Like, what the fuck?”
"Please. we won't go very far.”
She sighed, “Alright. but, if we get sent to juvie, I’ll never talk to you again.”
“There’s no law against exposing my boobs in this state.”
Mimi sighed. “Lets just go.” she opened the door and stepped out with me. I should get award for best friend on earth… or craziest friend!”
I laughed. “Well, this is crazy!” I walked in the street as a nice warm breeze blew between my thighs. I smiled.
“I know it’s legal but we’re gonna get in trouble.”
“Oh, stop worrying and enjoy!” I said, patting the front of my diaper. This feels so right! I felt reborn., a yellow SUV drove by
‘”How far are we walkin, psycho!”
“Duhnno… let's go to the park.”
“Oh, HELL no! you can go to the park half-naked! I’m going home!”
“But, Mimi…‘
She turned around and walked away.
“OK, fine!” I continued walking
a red-haired lady walked in the street. “Where are your clothes?”
“Right here.” I pulled my diaper up.
“How old are you?”
\”Fifteen
“A little old to be wearing diapers, eh?”
“I don't care, I like it.”
She grunted and waved me on.
I continued walking,.
I entered the park.
“Such a wonderful day. this is great!”
A man played with his black lab Two ladies read under a maple tree. Guys whizzed on skateboards.
I sat down on a bench and undid my diaper.
getting a bit naughty! I giggled and farted loud. I had never been impulsive
“It's the new me and I like it!”
“Hey!” someone yelled and I looked up. :”Enjoying yourself there?”
“Yeah! I am!”
“Not into clothes, much?”
“No, I’m not, starting today\
“Oh. well, I hope you don’t get arrested
“My diaper is still on, isn’t it?”
“Uh, OK… Well., , gotta go
“Bye
he left.
I rubbed my head, I should really get a new look. I changed. I smiled and fashioned my diaper, I watched a man throw the frisbee, his dog ran after the disk. I should bring Maxie out here, … while I’m in a diaper! I squealed at the thought. what about Jade? Would he hang out with me like this? Hmmm?
a tall guy in a red shirt waved at me.
“Hey, you’re that girl in the video.
“Why, yes, I am
“How are you]
“Excellent! enjoying this beautiful day
he laughed. “I see! Nice diaper
“Thank you! I laughed and patted itl
“What brand?|’”
“Pampers
“Cool. do you go to Markus Middle School..
“Yep
“ Cool, I go to Griffin High
“What grade?”
“Ninth
“Cool, I’m in eighth.
“Ooh, one more year! what High School are you going to?”
“I don’t know
“Oh.”
“I’m going through, … some stuff right now.”
“Oh
I adjusted my diaper. “Yeah
“Well, I hope everything works out for you
“Thanks, what's your name?”
“OSKAR<
“Cool, I’m Beth.”
“Well, Beth, I hope I’ll see you around.”
“You too
“?Keep a fresh Pamper handy!”
in laughed, “THANKS< I WILL |
he walked away
“Beth?”
I looked and saw Dad
“Where are your clothes
“I decided I don't need them
“What
i don't need clothes. I wear diapers now
you're not making any sense
“I decided im going to wear diapers from now on. I love them.
/”When did this come up
“Today
“Why?
“They're comfy”
“Beth, you can't go like this
women can go topless in public
“I know, but it's shocking for others
“I don't care.
“Have you gotten into trouble?”
|”No
“Beth
“I want to wear them! I feel… just amazing in them … just…”
“Just what?”
“Diapers are amazing
“Tell me why you want this
“I need to change my life. I guess I’m sick of being normal
“I see. Well., .. wear them
seriously?”
“Yeah, if u wanna hang around like this, I totally support you."
“Really?”
“Really… but, be careful, please. Going out like this…” He sighed. “I just don't want anything to happen to you.”
“I will be careful, I promise
“OK.”
“Thanks, I hug him.
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Okay, so here Beth goes all out for her desire to wear diaper? That's pretty original. Keep writing!
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Thank you. Did you like it?
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Beth was obviously willing to risk everything to pursue her heart's desire. Choosing to pursue powerful, buried, secret desires can be one of the scariest, riskiest things anyone can do. As far as the prompt was concerned, this was spot on.
Here is my critique, mind you, I'm not experienced as a writer, so I'm not an authority on the subject:
1. If she is choosing to "risk everything" as the prompt suggests, I would make the risks more clear. Beth never shows any real hesitation, there doesn't appear to be any significant conflict, and conflict (and the the resolution) is what makes a story have payoff. There is no cathartic release because there isn't enough tension. You start the story with her already having made at least one step toward the decision to embrace her new lifestyle. Show the inner turmoil, the dissatisfaction with her teenage attire, with her adult-like lifestyle, with the suppression of her inner desires. Then put obstacles there, not simply a friend who is too embarrassed, but a friend who tries to stop her, or make beth hesitate when her friend shows resistance. To truly "risk everything" three things should be depicted clearly: The risk, the Race, and the Reward.
2. Some inner desires, no matter how powerful, are not worthy of pursuit. The character risked everything to pursue something that is not easy for most people to appreciate (as readers). Her inner desires are not practical, sustainable, likeable, or beneficial to her or anyone else. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, many authors have chosen to write stories from the "bad guys" perspective, but I didn't get the sense that this character was supposed to be a bad guy/girl in yours eyes, necessarily, but a rather a hero, for risking shame or embarrassment to pursue what she wants. So my advice to you would be to justify her passions more (to the reader). A tall order, I know, but necessary. Also, make her inner desires less extreme. Something she does when she's alone.
If for instance, this story was about a girl who does this alone in her room, and it helps her relieve serious anxiety issues and panic attacks induced by some trauma from her past, then she would seem more justified. Then, if risking it all when she works up the courage to tell her fiance, who she is planning on moving in with in 3 months, about her private little habit. Well, then you can see the risk. What if he is disgusted and breaks it off?
Then, what if he isn't? What if he understands and accepts her strange habit? Well, then you have the Payoff. :)
Interesting story idea. Not my favorite genre, but I think with a little restructuring you could make this story more impactful.
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Hi Brian.
You read. So you are an authority on what you like and what you read. You backed up your opinion very well.
I hope you keep doing this when the "recommended" stories are released.. you can offer workshop value to the author's as long as they're into that. Some are not into that.
Clapping for an excellent response.
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Hi Tommy,
Thanks. I'm not on Reedsy as much as I'd like because my schedule makes it difficult. But I would sure like to offer as much feedback as I can, on as many stories as I can. I think any feedback can be helpful, whether encouraging or critical. I'm going to try an be more committed to reading the recommended stories, and take I'll take the time to leave more meaningful comments.
I appreciate the encouragement sir. :)
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Thank you. i've added a little. Can you reread it?
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Clapping for all the responses you have garnered.
So let's pretend that the author is not put two stories about nakedness back to back. :)
Even if this was a fetish then you are alongside people that cut off their ear for women. You are alongside Shakespearean love etc etc etc... Good art is a fetish.
Good art is an obsession.
The symbol of someone that wants to wear diapers... This is historically called infantilism. Psychologically it goes with someone that wants to be taken care of.. realistically is someone that is avoiding or ditching their responsibilities.
If you had a 50-year-old man that was the chief executive officer of a billion dollar company that wanted to come to a boardroom in diapers... And no one said anything because of his tremendous authority... You might play with a theme a little more.
The emperor's New clothes is about a king that does not see reality. No one tells him. In both of your stories the character is clearly told that they are breaking social norms.
But you're writing this at a time when Netflix has stories about English children that must be put in a psychological hospital because they think they're actually animals. American school children are suing to act as cats or kittens at school. Some of them are successful.
The pronouns include the plural use of "them".
It is the legal admittance of having multiple personalities. There are laws on the books that say we're supposed to sterilize these people.
Except you make it fun. Like Mary Poppins falling down from the sky with an umbrella. You veer away from what is called magical realism
Because the conventions of magical realism state that people do abnormal things and no one mentions them.
In this case, your characters don't necessarily want to walk next to the diaper person or the person in panties. Therefore your protagonist must sell them, in both stories your protagonist actually asked what they are afraid of. You have created a satire.
A compelling irony to social norms
Why isn't anyone talking about this?
I really love that you're responders ask for more conflict... The conflict in this story is the first line. How does no one see that? Is a 15-year-old in diapers normal to anyone?
It would be interesting if the father does not spend 10% of the story arguing with his kid. What if he saw that his kid was on the cusp of joining high School
.... Where every grade from high school will follow you to college and conceptually can follow you for the rest of your life. Go time.
So instead of arguing, the adult stops thinking about what diapers look like.. in your story the adult sold out. Just like so many parents in America are currently allowing all their kids to run around with knives of social graces.
So what if your father character embraced the diaper situation, realizing that his kid needed more love and comfort
Maybe a hug.
What if a simple hug would give that kid the strength to figure out the value of dresses. In both of your stories you miss "dresses" completely. Scottish men love kilts for battle utility.
Wear a "dress" -- that's almost a triple entender.
So you might resolve this a little differently other than that it's a very good story. I can't believe I read a story about a 14 year old and diapers.
Clapping
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Thank you. I think Beth wearing dresses would be a boring solution. I enjoy breaking social norms in my stories.
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It works.
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Excellent story, like it so much. keep it up.
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Thank you. What did you like about it?
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I submitted a new story, Mimi's Clothing Dilemma. Can you read it?
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Love it! IMHO even more adventures! what happens when Beth goes to school, does she becomes the leader of a clique, The Free Diapers movement? :)
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Thank you. What exactly did you like about it? Can you give it a like?
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i submitted a new story, Mimi's Clothing Dilemma. Can you read it?
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Laughing
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Nice handling of an unpleasant and often undiscussed subject. Your command of narrative voice is compelling and your economy of words impressive. I see you've stirred up a lot of unrest with the Reedsy natives. (Pssst!: That only means you've done something truly creative.) Well done, my friend. Keep ticky-tapping away at your keyboard!
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Thank you. What do you think about Beth? And can you give my story a like?
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I was one of the 8 individuals that already gave it a "Like". Beth is someone I have no desire to meet.
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Well, I don’t think I’ve ever read a story about diapers, so points for originality.
Your main character has a lot of spunk!
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thank you. what did you think when Beth went out in her diaper?
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What makes you write about diapers? May I ask? LF6
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I'm not sure
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Maybe write about something you are passionate about.
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I have dozens of scifi/horror stories thats not about baby teenagers. would you like me to send my booksie link?
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Maybe just bend one to adhere to the next prompt and then I'll read it when you post it. Just let me know. LF6
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what
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Try to make one of your horror/sci-fi stories adhere to the next set of prompts, and then I'll read one for sure. LF6
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I thought the story was a bit out there. It was an enjoyable read but I would change some of the grammatical errors so that it reads with better flow. I'm not sure if you can still make the changes, but maybe for the next one you write. Try reading it out loud before you submit it. I still get myself into trouble sometimes too. It happens to us all. Incidentally, where I live women can go topless it is legal.
“I woke up the golden sunlight poured into my room,” I woke up to the golden sunlight that poured into my room? You’re missing ‘to’ and ‘that.’ Or you need to edit that sentence a different way. It doesn’t make sense right now.
d i. .?
“I mean when I came home yesterday, I was going to change into my clothes, but I realized my dad was still at work, so I stayed in the diaper, except when I had to go because that would be my stomach rumbled.” This sentence is too long. “when I had to go because that would be my stomach rumbled,” this bit is confusing.
I hope my suggestions helped Charlie. Thanks for the read. LF6
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“I woke up the golden sunlight poured into my room,” I woke up to the golden sunlight that poured into my room? You’re missing ‘to’ and ‘that.’ Or you need to edit that sentence a different way. It doesn’t make sense right now.
“I paused. do I really…? Oh!” Do should be capitalised.
“I mean when I came home yesterday, I was going to change into my clothes, but I realized my dad was still at work, so I stayed in the diaper, except when I had to go because that would be my stomach rumbled.” This sentence is too long. “when I had to go because that would be my stomach rumbled,” this bit is confusing.
There are a lot of grammar issues like capitalisation. The story is out there, is it a continuation of the other one you did about diapers? You seem to be getting a lot of mileage out of that idea.
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Not my normal type of story, so I may be missing something. But... this didn't seem like a story, seemed more like the author wanted to write about a potential fetish? Like feeling out the reactions of others before wearing a diaper himself? There's no storyline. The external conflict was weak and didn't move along at a similar speed to the internal conflict (which isn't necessary, just what I prefer to read).
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Thank you, it's too late to edit on Reedsy because it got approved but I'll revise it per your suggestion.
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