16 comments

Horror Funny Crime

Trigger warning: Gore.

"You're gonna be fine, I'm almost there." I said into the phone, trying to keep the exasperation out of my voice.

Leigh had a new paranoia every week, ranging from the weird: "Don't you ever wonder if the traffic lights are making you more obedient?" to the insane: "I think my neighbour is a government pawn who's going to kill me."

I used to drop everything to assure her, help her, but at this point I kind of just cajoled her into forgetting about it, by promising I would avenge her death, or fake her passport or whatever.

"Something doesn't feel right." Leigh insisted, and I heard the jangling of her shaking keys. "You promise you're almost here?"

Hell no, I was on the opposite side of town. "Of course." I rearranged the groceries on my arm as I turned the key to my own flat.

I'm a liar now, I guess, I told myself gloomily, hmming in assent to whatever Leigh said next.

"Okay good, I'm really getting-AAH!"

I jolted, the milk carton spilling out of my arms as Leigh let out an ear-splitting shriek.

With a click, the line went dead.

"Leigh?" I shouted into the phone, bringing it in front of my face to cuss at it. "Ah, shit!"

I dialled her back immediately and got no response.

What the hell could it have been? Fire? A giant spider? An intruder?

It only took me a moment to decide, and then I was sprinting out of my flat, hastily slamming the door closed behind me.

The lift would take forever, I reasoned manically as I raced past it, half tumbling down the stairs, my hair slapping my neck.

When I stumbled down to the second floor, I watched the lift doors slowly open and ducked inside, startling Mrs.McIntyre.

She watched me stonily, her watery blue eyes framed by grandmotherish glasses, and I cleared my throat awkwardly, rearranging my jacket.

Goddamn it Leigh. This better be freaking urgent. Then I cursed myself for that thought. What if something bad really did happen?

The second the lift doors twitched towards opening, I muscled my way out, running at full tilt into the street.

Come on, track star, my brain taunted me, reminding me that this hopelessly out of breath college student was a ridiculous change from high school.

I flagged down a cab with my whole body, and instead of thinking I was crazy, the cab did stop.

Throwing myself inside, I gasped out Leigh's address to the cabbie, pulling my phone out of my pocket to try and call that idiot again.

And again. And again. Oh God, oh God. I dialled Mirza instead, and I interrupted him before he could even say hello.

"Mirza, do you know what's happening with Leigh?"

Mirza chuckled. "Hello to you too-"

"It's important, please?" I cut him off, unable to keep the impatience out of my voice.

Mirza sighed good naturedly. "Leigh? Well, my brother was planning to propose to her today. It's a surprise, he's probably already doing it."

My blood chilled at the thought. Not a lot of people knew this, but Leigh had a gun. It was in a safe behind a fake plant in her living room.

If Leigh had entered the flat, and someone was there in the dark...

"Asiyah?" Mirza asked over the phone, and I got the impression that he'd asked multiple times now.

"Yes?" I mumbled, rubbing at my eyes. God, this had to be a nightmare. Should I call the cops? What if Leigh wasn't able to get to her gun? What if even worse than that, Leigh had been killed or-

"Why did you call? I have been trying to reach Yusuf for a little while now, and he hasn't answered. Is everything okay?"

"I have to call you right back." I replied, and ended the call. "Excuse me, please stop here. Yes, right here." I passed some cash to the driver and stepped out fo the vehicle. No need for there to be more evidence of when exactly I got to Leigh's house.

Obviously, Leigh had straight up killed Yusuf. She trained once a week at the gun range, and I'd seen her impressive marksmanship with my own eyes.

I jogged the rest of the way to Leigh's building, pulling the hood up over my head and taking the stairs.

Normally, I got lost on the way, at least once. But today...It was like my brain knew something was wrong, and inevitable.

What if Leigh had killed Yusuf? Her life would be over.

I had never said this to my friend, but deep down I knew she was pretty hard to love. She was neurotic, obsessive, paranoid. She looked good when she tried, but she lucked out with Yusuf.

I personally didn't see what a handsome, stable, family-oriented nice guy would see in my trigger happy, conspiracy theorist of a friend.

But more than that, no lawyer would be able to defend Leigh. Killing Yusuf in cold blood, even in panic would be a weak defense. Her past of making false police reports about people she was scared of, her history of paranoia...

Forget jail, Leigh would be lucky if she ever saw the sun from the padded white room they'd stick her in.

I took a shaky breath and realized I wouldn't be able to take the stairs. Reluctantly, I entered the elevator and pressed three incorrect buttons along with Leigh's actual floor number.

Some construction workers came in, and one smiled at me as they pressed a button.

I forced myself to act normal until they left.

Grow up, I snapped at myself, trying to steady my hands. I'd have to convince Leigh to turn herself in. It would be hard, but nobody was above the law. She'd be crushed from Yusuf's death anyways.

And Mirza. How the hell was I supposed to tell Mirza what happened? God, he'd been Leigh and Yusuf's biggest supporter.

I held my face in my clammy hands, feeling nauseous. What the hell has my life become?

The elevator dinged, scaring the shit out of me, and I staggered out, trembling.

Leigh's flat had always seemed a bit sinister to me, but now? With a door gaping open slightly, and the doormat moved from its position?

I took a deep breath, my finger ready to press my 911 speed dial, and I gently pushed the door open.

It was dark, really dark.

I heard Leigh's voice somewhere inside and I sighed. A small mercy.

Then I slipped.

I just barely caught myself, and winced as I landed.

Blood. There was very obviously blood on the floor.

Repressing the urge to hurl, I got up slowly, not ready to see Yusuf's lifeless face staring back at me, one hand in his pocket, ready to bring out a ring.

"Who. Are. You?" Leigh hissed and I knew, despite the darkness that she was pointing a gun at me.

"It's me, Asiyah. Your friend." I added tiredly, like that would do me any favours. The girl just shot her fiance, friendship provided about as much protection as a wet tissue paper at this point.

"Oh," Leigh said very quietly. "Hi Asiyah."

I got on my knees, gently holding a hand out, the other hand fumbling in slick blood for the phone I'd dropped. "Leigh, listen to me, you need to-"

"Leigh, is everything okay?"

My eyes nearly fell out of my skull when Yusuf came down the corridor, looking pale, but very much alive.

"The hell?!" I croaked, leaping up to flick the lights on.

I regretted it instantly. There was blood everywhere. Blood spattered low on the walls near where I had fallen, there was blood coating every tile, blood seeping into the carpet.

And a man, a complete stranger, on the floor.

Yusuf moved fast, and shut the still open door shut behind me.

"Oh my God," I almost touched my face with my bloody hands. "Oh my-what the hell is going on?!"

"Asiyah, you need to calm down." Yusuf said gently and I almost choked right there.

"What?" I spat, turning in a horrified circle.

"I came home to surprise Leigh with a ring, and there was an intruder. I knew where the gun was, and I was keeping him where he was with it. Leigh came home then, and-and then, accidentally, she shot him."

"No," I stared at Yusuf, aghast. "No, someone would have heard, somebody would have-"

"Sound proof walls, and there's construction going on downstairs." Leigh explained smoothly, using her hands to gesture at the walls.

"What is that?" I pointed, narrowing my eyes. At the ring on Leigh's finger. "Holy hell, please tell me you two didn't-"

"We did, after I came home." Leigh smiled sweetly at Yusuf and I took a deep breath to calm down. "Ta-da, we're engaged!"

"And there's a body on the floor! Congratulations!" I threw my arms out to gesture, again, at the point they all seemed to be missing. "Honeymoon in jail sounds delightful, let me know if you would recommend it to a friend!"

"No, no, no!" Leigh shouted and Yusuf went to her side immediately, soothingly grabbing her hand.

"Relax darling, no one is going to jail."

Both of them looked at me expectantly and I felt like I was going to combust.

"You want me to help you hide the body?" I asked quietly, my heart thudding wildly in my ears. I watched Leigh's gun glint in the shitty lighting of her now tainted apartment.

"Would you, please?" Leigh beseeched, her green eyes growing big.

"Okay fine, saves me the trouble of a wedding gift." I sighed, and then accidentally rubbed my eyes. "Oh Gods, ew." Warm blood around the eyes, a new anti-ageing treatment?

"Yeah, you need to shower, it looks like you killed him." Leigh informed me, and I chuckled darkly.

"Thank you so much-" Yusuf started, but I held up a hand to stop him.

"I'm gonna go shower, the two of you, lazy assholes are going to start by chopping up the body, packing it into suitcases."

"And then?" Leigh asked brightly.

"And then, I don't know, open up WikiHow or something." I declared. "Ah shit, my shoelaces. Damn you, Leigh, I actually liked these shoes!" I bent down carefully in the puddle of blood, tying up the soggy ends.

"There's a saw in the toolshed on the roof." Yusuf said, heading for the door.

I understood suddenly. "Wait," I told him, grabbing his arm. "Wipe your shoes on a towel or something in this house. Or you're gonna leave a trail."

Yusuf did that and left and I headed for Leigh's shower. "Sorry, but I'm using up all the hot water, okay?"

"Go for it. And thank you, you know? For everything." Green eyes drilled into mine. I wondered how I hadn't seen this before.

I nodded, unable to say anymore.

I entered the bathroom, throwing some clothes around for good measure, and then I started the shower.

I dragged out my bloody phone from a pocket, and speed dialled one.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Help, my friend's killed someone, 211 Sorren Way." I whispered into it, and then saw the lock on the door turn.

"Ma'am, stay calm, help-"

BANG!

Click.

October 15, 2021 17:44

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16 comments

JK Bowling
04:23 Feb 11, 2022

I feel like I've heard that "traffic light obedience theory before"....but otherwise, a great story, very fast paced. I think something was going on with Yusuf? But I feel like I missed whatever those two conspired to do.

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Moon Lion
05:09 Feb 11, 2022

Thanks for reading! Ted Kaczynski had that theory in a show about catching the Unabomber. I find the whole Unabomber manifest and all the events very interesting, for reasons too complex to go into here. Leigh is not as intelligent, unfortunately...Yusuf was trying to hold Leigh off in order to phone the cops, which is definitely not very clear.

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Graham Kinross
22:09 Dec 09, 2021

I hate it when this happens to me. Every bloody Tuesday… Great story, very relatable. Excellent dialogue as ever.

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Moon Lion
17:46 Dec 10, 2021

Thank you that is so kind!

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Graham Kinross
20:49 Dec 10, 2021

No problem, this was good so you deserve it. For once I can’t think of a book it reminds me of.

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Graham Kinross
03:52 Dec 25, 2021

Happy Christmas Moon Lion.

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Moon Lion
18:24 Dec 25, 2021

Happy Christmas to you too!

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Eve Retter
06:26 Nov 14, 2021

Such a wickedly weird story babe ;), is this a hint or smth? Also maybe, maybe a bit rushed in the part where the main character agrees with her weird friend? Idk tho

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Moon Lion
06:41 Nov 14, 2021

You got me, this is entirely based off our lives, I wrote this in the bathroom while pretending to hide the body.

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Eve Retter
06:51 Nov 14, 2021

*gasp*

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Moon Lion
06:57 Nov 14, 2021

I'm just sorry it had to be this way.

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Moon Lion
06:41 Nov 14, 2021

Oh, so there's constructive criticism too? Will you please write something so I can also share some thoughts?

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Eve Retter
06:52 Nov 14, 2021

cute you think that i can write.

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Moon Lion
06:58 Nov 14, 2021

You write so well! Not even kidding dude

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Eve Retter
07:02 Nov 14, 2021

why am i dude now? i don't like that

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Moon Lion
07:07 Nov 14, 2021

Fine, I'll have to come up with something else.

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