I never thought that watching the sunrise would answer all my dreams... I guess they're actually just stupid high school aspirations... My stupid wants and desires that pretty much every high school boy wants, but as I sat there watching the last sunrise of the summer, she walked out. Her hair was the color of the rising sun, and her skin was deep ebony. She didn't say a word as she walked toward me.
Her hair tied back in a ponytail up on her head, and her eyes the color of the midnight sky. I wasn't able to speak around her, she was lean and short. Really short... a foot and maybe three inches shorter than me, but she was gorgeous, with a full face, heart shaped lips, and a button nose. She hadn't smiled once she saw me, but I knew I hadn't stopped since she walked out of the rising sun.
She said no words as she reached her finger out, I knelt down as she stood on the tops of her toes. Her bare toes, she had no shoes one, in fact all she wore was a long white dress. I long white following dress like the thin whispering clouds.
Her finger touched my forehead, warmth filled my body...
Beep Beep Beep Beep my annoying alarm clock screamed for me to wake up. I stood up, today was my first day of senior year, and all I was prepared for was to make a complete fool out of myself. I stalled getting out of bed until my grandmother peeped her fragile old head in, "Logan, it's time to get ready," she said in her frail voice.
"Thanks Grams," I smiled, as she shut the door again. I would go over and lock it, but it didn't have a working lock. I guess that's the thing about being broke, you don't get all the fancy stuff. Instead of having a new car like all the guys at school, I had my grandfather's first car. Sure it worked but I really wanted something new. I got changed quickly, into a grey shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, both of which had belong to my old brother before he outgrew them.
My hair was neatly cut, but that was only because my grandmother used to be a hairdresser. As soon as I was dressed my six year old sister ran into the room, "Logan! Mr. Jellybottom went missing!" Mr. Jellybottom was Kimmy's stuffed bear that was the last gift she ever got from out mother. Before that woman decided to abandon her children with her mother.
After I helped Kimmy find her stuffed bear, I ran off down the street to school. My grandmother preferred I walked because it was close, and gas costed a lot of money. I entered the large high school building, in my worn out black sneakers which weren't name brand at all.
The bell rang right as I entered the building, sending my running to my history class all the way across the school yard. I entered the class, and sat down. Mr. Killian, my history teacher and football coach, who did everything possible to keep me on the team, because I was the fastest runner and scored the most touchdowns in my school's history. Yet, despite being friends will all the football players, nobody else truly liked me. The hockey guys typically tried to beat me up after school, and the cheerleaders only talked to me if I was with Brody, the quarterback.
"Hello seniors, and welcome to your last first day of high school year. Before we get started, we have a new principle this year, and she wanted me to introduce her daughter, Elena Sunkiss." That's when she walked in the girl from my dream, the top of my head got all warm again. I could still feel her touch. She didn't look any different at all, except her hair was in a braid, and her dress was now a grey cropped t-shirt and a pair of high waisted blue jean shirts, as well as a pair a black heels. "I'll have Brody show you around if you don't mind?"
"Actually I do," Elena smiled, "I'd rather him show me around," her finger pointed towards me, and the warmth on my head was now burning.
"Logan, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. You good with that Logan?" Mr. Killian turned to me, as did Brody who was clearly not pleased that Elena picked me over him.
"Uh, no, that should be fine," Elena smiled towards me as she sat down in the seat to the right of mine.
She handed me a piece of paper, "You're gonna need my number. That way if I have questions you'll know who's texting you." All I could do was nod stupidly. "I know this sounds super creepy, but I may have had my mom put us in all the same classes. We were scouting this school last year, and I saw you. You seemed super nice, and I thought it might be best to get to know you before anyone else."
I felt my head burning, my fair skin had to be blushing at this point. Did Elena known that kind of power she had over me?
Our first three classes flew by, and then it was lunch. I went to sit with the other football players and of course the cheerleaders, and Elena stuck by my side. "Hey, Elena, right? Am I allowed to ask why you chose Logan over me?" Brody asked the second Elena sat down.
"Am I allowed to ask why it offends you?" she smirked in return, Cambrie, the head cheerleader clearly didn't like Elena very much. "Oh, I'll be at tryouts today, Logan do you think we could meet after your tryouts and go get dinner or something?"
I turned to her, everyone at the table was clearly very stunned that a girl wanted to spend time with me, "Yeah, I'd like that."
Well the rest of the day passed by quickly, and my grandmother was very excited that I was finally getting out of the house, especially with a girl. I waited for in the parking lot where she said we should meet, and she pulled up in her car. She was in a black convertible, it had no logos on it, it didn't even have a date on it. "My dad made it out of some of the new ones, he said I could have this one," Elena got out of the front seat leaving the door open and moved to the passenger seat, "You can drive."
"Ok," I whispered as I took the drivers seat.
Brody came out and came towards us, "How'd you get a car like this, Logan?"
"It's..." I began to say before Elena cut me off.
"Isn't it so cool. He got it from my father, they met a while back. My dad really liked him so he gave him this car!" Brody started laughing, "My dad recruits for United States University, oh wait I forgot he talked about you to. He said you're nothing more then a golden boy faker. Bye Brody!" She motioned for me to start the car, so I did.
"You didn't have to lie to him, your dad gave you the car, not me."
"I never lied, but you wouldn't have taken the car had I ever said anything else to you. I gave me the car to give to you," Elena smiled as she opened the glove box, and read them aloud, "Logan Kimberly, you will be granted a full ride football scholarship to USU. As well as free living and provided books in place of your full ride academic scholarship."
I hit the breaks hard, and turned to her my jaw dropped, "Who are you?" was all I could say.
She giggled, "I'm the girl of your dreams, or maybe I should say from your dreams. Which I have to say wasn't really a dream as all, you passed out so my father took you home."
"You walked out of the sunrise!"
"Because I am the sun... I've watched you for many years. As you've struggled, and had fake friends. You've watched my rise every day, and watched me set every night. My parents, the ones I have now were never able to have a child. I came down to help those who have depended on me."
Her finger slowly tapped my heated forehead, and it cooled down, "That's kind of weird. Why wouldn't you do it for everyone on the planet?"
"Because Logan, not everyone in the world... is you." Now a normal person might tell her to go back, or that it's not ok for her to be here, but I guess I'm not normal. Five years later Elena Sunkiss, became Elena Kimberly, and we raised eight beautiful children. We still watch the sunrise every morning, and we still watch the sunset every night. I guess maybe that's how it was always supposed to be me with the sun. And as the day ends so will this story, with a sunset.
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The idea of the story is good, and the concept of the sun personified, choosing a favorite to bestow her favors upon has the feel of myth. There are some technical issues, like "following" instead of "flowing" - ("...white following dress like..."), "my" instead of "me" - ("sending my running to my history class..."), and "principle" instead of "principal" (common homonym issue). Aside from that, going back to the positives, the ending was satisfyingly sweet. More practice will help you with the technical issues, while improving on what is...
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