Bri-An's Job

        “Come on! You can do this!” Bri-An looked at himself in the mirror, yelling to hype himself up. The mirror showed what appeared to be a thin, white-skinned human body, but with a red-skinned bull’s head on top of it with white horns protruding from his head. Bri-An’s nostrils, shaped like a pig’s nostrils, flared from the pep talk. “We got this! All we have to go is protect the dungeon for The Boss! From … a … potential … human … or … elf … who … could … use… magic … or … weapons … to … kill … you … claiming … to … save … the … world.” Bri-An’s voice became more dejected at each passing word.

               Bri-An sighed. “Why did I decide to work for a dragon that likes randomly blowing fire on villages and is possessed by dark magic? Oh right. The great horn insurance. And dental coverage.” Bri-An looked at the mirror, pointing at it. “Remember. You need that horn insurance.”

Bri-An grabbed his golden trident and commuted to his guard station, conveniently located in the same volcano that he lived in, prepared to protected Beelzebubby, a ten-meter tall dragon. However, Bri-An just began this line of work a few months prior, so he was still nervous. He hid his anxieties, walking through the conveniently placed dirt pathway bisecting the pool of molten lava separating him from his workspace.

As Bri-An strode upon the path, he overheard a squeaky, high-pitched voice “Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it to work for a dragon who just goes on travel? I mean I hear he…” the voice turned to a whisper, but the whisper was so loud, it might as well have been a normal voice, “…burns villages.” The voice came from a levitating ball of flame about the size of a golf ball.

Bri-An then heard another deeper voice from a stone, female form, submerged up to her bosom in the lava right next to the ball of flame. “Those reports are obviously fake! They were created solely to make the dragon look bad!”

The squeaky voice responded “Well then why do humans and elves who call themselves ‘heroes’ sometimes come by to slay Beelzebubby. They wouldn’t do that unless he was evil! Oh, hey Bri-An!”

“Hey Flamie!” Bri-An responded.

“You know that is not my name! My name is Nush-Nush!” Nush-Nush’s voice shrilled in frustration then his voice changed with the realization that he had been pranked, “Oh, hehe, you got me good, Bri-An.”

The stone female Nush-Nush was conversing with gave a slight chuckle. Bri-An then turned to the stone female “Hey Medusie!”

“Hey.” Mudusie responded in a flat tone before turning back to Nush-Nush. Bri-An strode towards his guard post but could overhear the conversation.

“So Nush, when do you think they will put in a new water dispenser?”

“My name is not Nush! Its Nush-Nush! And I can’t drink water!”

“Oh, right!”

Bri-An strode along the path to his station. His station was located next to what appeared to be one side of a gold mini-pyramid. Along the side of the mini-pyramid was a black cutout that appeared to be a door or portal leading to another section of the volcano, but Bri-An never bothered to check if it led anywhere. He only stood guard where he was told to stand guard, on the right side of the pyramid if one was looking at the pyramid. Bri-An’s post was walking exactly three paces forward, then the same three paces back to where he came from. On the other side of the black spot was another being who looked exactly like Bri-An, also named Bri-An, walking the same three paces back and forth. To differentiate the two, the being who walked on the this side was called Bri-An A. Bri-An A had been there for a lot longer than Bri-An.

“Fingers crossed. No heroes today! Going to speak good vibes into this den of dark energy!”  Bri-An thought to himself. He then turned to Bri-An A and asked “When was the last time a so-called ‘hero’ came through here?” Bri-An had never seen a hero in his months of working for Beelzebubby.

Bri-An A responded “About a year ago. ‘Heroes’ are so rare. I’ve heard they have to go to some submerged water temple and solve a bunch of puzzles within a specified time limit before getting a key that can access this volcano. Doesn’t make much sense to me. Stop worrying about ‘heroes’. You aren’t alone here and heroes almost never come.”

Almost as soon as Bri-An A made his comment, there was a loud, quick series of noises that strung together like a triumphant musical piece.

“Oh no!” Bri-An A screamed, his face full of horror. “HEEERRROOOOO!” As soon as Bri-An A sounded his alarm, there was a great shriek coming from the dirt path followed by a shout of “NOT NUSH-NUSH!” The triumphant musical piece played again.

The triumphant musical piece played another time before a human being emerged around the corner to where Bri-An A was standing. The human being was wearing an all-metallic suit that brightly reflected the light of the lava. The human was also wearing a metallic helmet from the same material as the suit. One on arm, the human had a blank shield made of the same metallic material as his suit; in the other arm, the human carried a sword that was about six feet long.

Bri-An stood frozen in amazement. How could the human survive such temperatures that the lava is producing in a suit that clearly has material that absorbs heat? How could he swing a sword that is clearly larger than him without falling over? Was everything he learned about human physics and biology untrue? Maybe this human-like creature before him was some other magical being beyond a human being.

Bri-An’s thoughts were interrupted by the screams of Bri-An A. Bri-An snapped into focus just to hear the triumphant music playing again and the sword fully penetrated into Bri-An A’s abdominal muscle. Bri-An panicked as he saw Bri-An A fade away. The mysterious human suddenly turned his gaze towards Bri-An. Bri-An put his hands chest high as a motion to push the human away while Bri-An continued to inch back. Bri-An could not go inch further back as his back was starting to go against the edge of his walking path and he risked falling into the molten lava. Bri-An felt the heel of his foot reach the edge. Bri-An was forced to stop.

The hero lifted his sword, putting both hands over his right shoulder, beginning the motion to swing the sword. What happened next felt like it happened in slow motion. The sword swung at Bri-An’s mid-torso region but Bri-An managed to duck under the sword and roll behind the hero. Once Bri-An finished his roll, he patted himself as if shocked he didn’t receive any damage from the sword strike, he ran as fast as he could away from the hero. Bri-An looked behind just in time to see the hero go through the black portal, but Bri-An’s adrenaline kept him running all the way down the volcano corridors to the minion resident halls toward the bottom of the volcano.

Bri-An finally reached his room, opened the rocky door, and fled in. He laid down on his bed, which really was just four boulders with flat tops put together, and took a breath of relief. He didn’t go down today! Then he began to think about the coworkers he had grown to love and wept out loud! Why did that hero just so mercilessly slaughter his fellow minion? And then almost slaughter him despite the lack of aggression? Shame on this so-called “Hero”!

Bri-An was exhausted from the days events, so he let his eyes close to rest. Then he awoke in a panic! Oh no! What if Minion Resources learns that he abandoned his post?! For sure he would be fired, which would lose cause him to lose his horn insurance. But rumor was that if a minion abandoned their post, Minion Resources would send resources to execute the minion who abdicated their duties.

There was a knock on the door. Bri-An froze with nerves. This had to be Minion Resources. There was another knock on the door. “Hello! Bri-An? This is Phyllis from Minion Resources. We didn’t see your body in your position and just want to talk.” The voice was like that of a bored, raspy, older lady, as if it was someone who had been in their position for a while. “You know as a part of your contract, you also give us a right to enter your housing accommodation. So this is your last warning before I enter.”

Bri-An jumped to corner of the room, hiding exactly behind where the rocky door would block him when the door was opened in ward. The door began being pushed in. What walked in was a creature that looked like a yellow armadillo standing upright, holding a clipboard with thick-rimmed glasses on its face. There was a hardshell back with the back being full of spike protruding out approximately six feet each. The creature’s tail dragged along the dirt floor.

“Bri-An? Where are you? I just need to chat and have you fill out this form for our insurance files.” Phyllis spoke in the raspy, but calm, almost grandmotherly voice.

Phyllis stood in the middle of the room, looking perplexed that no one was there. Bri-An stood up, clutching close to the door, but not pushing any force on the door so as to close it. Bri-An looked at Phyllis breathlessly. She just stood there continuing to call his name. Bri-An shuffled to the other side of the door, ready to go into a sprint should the creature decide to look in his direction. Almost there for a quiet escape. Then he can flee and live his life in the water temple. He may have never lived in a water environment before, but he was sure he could adapt.

Then he felt something touch his left foot. He froze. He looked down slowly. To his horror, he saw a yellow tail touching his foot. He looked up. Phyllis was looking right at him and gave a smile. “BRI-AN!” she yelled, excited that her wait had been worth it.

Bri-An recoiled and ran out of there. He did not want to be executed for abandoning his post! Meanwhile, Phyllis licked her lips. Bri-An was concerned about what Phyllis was going to do to him? Was she going to eat him? He just ran down the corridor. Phyllis curled up into a ball and began rolling. She was gaining speed on him. Getting closer and closer. Bri-An’s two second head start was about to evaporate, but then, he approached the edge of the corridor. There were two ways to go: left or right. Bri-An went right.

Phyllis rolled down the corridor and bumped into the rocks at the end of the corridor. She quickly recovered and began rolling after Bri-An again. Bri-An continued running until before long, the corridor he was running down reached the end. He began pounding on the rock as a way of trying to find some hidden passage. Something to help him escape the tyrannical Minions Resources officer.

Suddenly, she was right behind Bri-An and tripped him with his tail. He looked up to stare at the open-mouthed, grinning armadillo face staring back at him. The voice growled “I’ve finally got you now. I couldn’t find you at your post!” Bri-An screamed and put his left arm to cover his head, not knowing how his life would end.

“Why are you screaming, darling?” the raspy voice somehow calmed Bri-An down. It had been a couple seconds and Bri-An felt himself again, shocked that there was no bites taken out of him.

“You weren’t sent here to kill me?” Bri-An asked, his voice quivering.

“What?! Oh goodness no sweetie! I have no idea where those rumors start. I don’t kill minions unless you count paperworking them to death.” She gave a hearty chuckle at her pun. “I came here to tell you the bad news that some gaudy-dressed human stuck his sword in Beelzebubby and, unfortunately…” she began to sob, “…he didn’t make it.” The sobbing suddenly ended and Phyllis’s tone shifted to a more tedious, almost bored tone “So I am going around to just let every surviving minion know that they have to be let go effective immediately. You will get your severance gold via mail when you fill out form 1459-A to let us know your new address. Also, I am required by law to let you know that any insurance plan with us will cover you for ninety days after the date of termination. Have a good day, sweetie!”

She then handed Bri-An the 1459-A form and shuffled off to break the news to another minion. Bri-An froze, stunned at the fact he was still alive. Then the news hit him. He was out of a job! His horn insurance was about end! And dental too! Where was he going to go? What was he going to do? Then another feeling came over Bri-An. A feeling of annoyance. Bri-An then audibly yelled “WHY WAS THIS MEETING NOT AN EMAIL?!”