"Persuasion"

Persuasion

           I have always worked hard to be considered a good person. I am a good, loving, faithful mother and wife. I’m a social worker who helps children that have no one else to stand up for them. I coach our community’s youth soccer league. I volunteer at the homeless shelter and the nursing home. Every Sunday I’m there in the front pew worshipping our Lord and Savior. I have always worked hard to be considered a good person. I do for others but today is about doing something for myself.

           You see, it’s been a long, hard, stressful week and I just need a break. I need some fun and excitement in my life. So, I’m going to look for some relief from the grindstone known as life. It’s the perfect day to do it, too. The sun is shining, without a cloud in the sky. There is a gentle breeze blowing and the temperature is a comfortable seventy degrees. On this perfect day, when I am just looking for a temporary escape, I meet him.

           He is just standing there, staring at me with those dark, dangerous eyes of his. He is tall and handsome. He looks like my kind of man. Heat is radiating off him with such force that I fear to get too close. But as bankers are drawn to gold, I’ve always been drawn to the tortured souls of man.

           He just keeps staring, and as he does, wild, wicked images fly through my mind. I can’t shut them out, even though I know the thoughts are not mine. I try to fight the pull he has on me. I struggle. I try to flee. I cannot. I’m rooted in this spot, for my heart is racing as I start to yearn for all the images show me.

           In my mind, I see no limits. The world is mine. The universe is ripe for the taking and take it I will. I can do anything, for anything is possible. The power, the glory, the riches, the evil, desperate deeds beckon to me. I will take charge of it all. I will rule the universe with an iron fist. No one has the strength to challenge me. I can’t be stopped. They have limits. I do not.

           As my mind races with these images of all I can have, all I can become, he continues staring at me. Excitement and unsatiable hunger course through my veins. A slow, nasty grin spreads across his handsomely angelic face and he turns and walks away.

           I know I should stay where I am. I can even turn and walk the other way. I beg and plead with myself, but I make the choice to follow him anyway.

           With each step that I take my mind becomes more attuned to the images being shown to me. The images are of what I once thought to be the harshest part of humanity. No longer I guess, since today they seem to fill me with prideful delight. As I view Hitler rising to power, I cheer him on. I laugh with joy when I am shown the nuclear bombs destroying Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I see the homeless sleeping in dirty alleyways off busy city streets. I see countless orphans waiting for a loving home to make them a part of their family. I see the abused, the neglected. I see how money rules the world. I see how much humanity worships the dollar. I see my devotion to it, too.

           All that I see only encourages the joy overflowing from me. To me none of it matters. All that matters is me. I know what I will do to the helpless souls of man will be far worse than anything I have been shown thus far. I do not understand how this has come to be. This is not me. This is not who I am.

           But the images show me that who I was does not matter. All that matters is who I am becoming. All that matters is the power, the glory, the riches. In my current state of mind, the evil, desperate deeds hold greater sway over me than thoughts of my loving family.

           My mind, body, heart, and soul commit fully to following that handsome man. The man that stirs such feelings in me. Feelings that are causing me to abandon all that I am, all that I love, all that I believe. I follow him through towns and cities. Together we cross oceans, deserts, and barren wastelands.

           When I had first started following him, the world held many vibrant colors. The world held many hopes and dreams. Now the land on which we stroll is black and white, and colorless to the bone. Right here, right now, hopes and dreams are just a memory that I wish to escape. If the memory goes away, the desire for what I hope, for what I dream will fade to darkness.

           Yet, what do I desire? Do I desire to break free of this demon who saw me in a moment of weakness, in a moment of greed, a moment of envy, a moment of lust? Do I desire to continue this path, so that I will receive the power, the glory, the riches that were promised to me? I have been shown that they are my destiny. Do I wish to learn more about this handsome man walking before me?

           The further we walk the less there is to see. No plants grow here. No wildlife roams this land. Lightning flashes in a sky that holds dark storm clouds. Violent thunder rattles the ground causing me to stumble, to fall. He offers his hand to help me back to my feet.

           I am now walking at his side. He’s yet to say a word to me. Although, he does his pleasure of having me there.

           I’m confused about how this came to be. How did I let myself get here? Was it the images and the unspoken promises that drew me in? Was it nothing more than his handsome looks, looking at me? It doesn’t matter. The blame for whatever this is does not belong to me.

           He had to have corrupted me. This journey wasn’t my choice. What about this man persuaded me to take this path? This can’t be the exciting, the fun, the carefree day that I was searching for. Though I do know, I chose this path freely. It drew me like a moth to flame and I fear that just as the moth becomes to disoriented to escape its orbit, I have will never find the way back to my life, to my family.

           The air is so thick. I can barely breathe. Sweat pours off me. I’m so exhausted. I need to rest. I’m begging my feet to stop, but I’m walking with him still. And it’s getting mighty hot down here.