Maybe you will see after this

At some point in our lives we all must write out our Will, so now seems like a good time. In fact I have so much to say, first thank you all for coming to the reading of my Will. I Anette Cramerton am writing this to say goodbye to you all and give away some of my things. If you are here, you were invited, so yes it is meant to be. I know a few of you are probably feeling a bit out of place. Thank you all again for coming in hopes that the day of the reading is a beautiful one. Where shall I begin? Life what a beautiful thing make sure to cherish all you have and those closest to you, letting them know you love them. Again love those whom you hold so dear and make sure to let them know it is a very important part in life. In this life I have treasured so much, including many of you here! I loved life, living, being a mom, grandma, and waking each day to see those I care for most! I am grateful for the life I got to live and have no regrets, but some finishing touches to leave behind. Then my best friend, I know she is in the crowd, her stubborn ass won't go that easy! Ha, Ha, Ha! Forgive me Angel you know me. I love you girl, you are the best! In this crowd I invited I hope that my daughter, her husband, and their children were able to show. I mean they never seemed to be able to make it to any other celebration or party I tried to throw while I was alive, figured they would show to see what they get out of me. Let me apologize for that if it seemed rude, but no other reason will I say sorry. I have become very blunt in my later years so what I see and think just comes out. I would like to move forward and say such a big grateful thank you to my neighbor and great friend Henry, glad you came. Young man, you have been there for me anytime I needed you, just to be kind, and because you are my friend. Keep being you, you are amazing how you are. When I had no one else to check on me as my child should have, you were there. Again you did it out of the kindness of your heart cause you cared for little old me. I have had very few people in life be as good and kind as you, you deserve the best you can get out of life. Let me continue on cause I know I am keeping many of you from your busy lives, Ha Ha Ha! I am sure many did not laugh maybe a few did, any ways. Many have had their share of me so okay enough is enough let's get on with it. Now being that it is time to get down to business I have a few select things to say and things to give to some select people, you all here. Allow me to be the person I am by saying all of you here will get what you deserve, that is for sure. I think we will all enjoy this reading. I would like to begin my give away by saying that I hope this leaves a taste in some of you all mouth's like no other you have ever tasted. I guess that can go either way good or bad, huh? Allow me to begin by saying this to my daughter and her family. My beautiful, intelligent daughter, whom I cherished throughout my life. It was important to me to see that you had all that you needed in life to have a successful future. I also took pride in providing your wants as well, you mean the world to me. I admit you married well so glad that you did. Nothing I did for you worked you thought you were born with a silver spoon and no goals in life except to be taken care of. I am grateful for my beautiful grandchildren whom I absolutely loved, but it was as if you just disappeared from my life. I am not the type of person to wash my hands of my family and I still love you all so much, but deeply hurt by the distance we shared. In the envelope the lawyer is handing out, please take it, this is a bank account for you and your husband to leave you a little something I hope it helps. i also have created bank accounts that gain interest for my grand kids, you may deposit but can not withdraw til they are 18. Sadly, I do not believe I need to go over why things are this way, we and others closest to me know why. I love you all dearly thank you for coming. There are many of you who will have bank accounts with money, Ha, Ha, Ha! Thank you for knowing me hope you all enjoy, on me, take care of yourselves. I would like to continue on by saying to my brother and sister, I love you both very much. I want to thank you both very much for being there as siblings should. I would like to continue on by telling my brother his wish is coming true. Thank you for your loyalty over the years. I am giving you my car collection, all except the red corvette. Then to my wonderful, talented, and beautiful sister you can have my entire wardrobe, jewelry, and my Cadillac to get around while looking great. I hope you all enjoy and care for them just as I have. Also you two have some money set aside in accounts for each of you. Let us go on to the next so we can get done. To my dearest friend the one whom was around me all growing up since grade school. You Janette have been one of my best and closest friends. There is a safe at my house that your son will have to move with the truck. The key and code is in the envelope my lawyer is presenting to you, please go as soon as possible to get it. Inside the safe is some money, a bank card with money, and some other treasures from our friendship together. I really want to thank you for being such a wonderful, loyal, great friend for all the years. Another important person in my life that actually just come into it over these last few years. Since he has come into my life he has made a large impact. What a great, loyal, and caring friend you have been even though you had no ties to me or my family. You truly cared for me as a person and a friend. Since you have been my neighbor the last five years has been so nice to have you around. You have fixed things at my property, purchased things for me, and even got me dinner. You expected nothing in return just some company and coffee or tea here and there, I was happy to do so. Even when you fixed a few things at my home you refused my money for your services. I do appreciate you so much dear friend. This is why I am giving you a hand up in your future plans. One day you wanted a home, wife, career, and children, in a complete different order. I would like to give you my home and the red corvette as a hand up in your future. I wish you great success on your doctrine and an amazing future you deserve it. The house comes with everything in it besides what I gave to my brother, sister, and friend. There is also some money in a safe deposit box. The lawyer will give you the information you need to access it. Now this will conclude everything for all those who has received items, except for my daughter and her family. As this is the end of my life I would like to go out with a bang and share somethings with you all whom are here. In just a few seconds as I am still speaking money will be falling from the ceiling all those whom are in the room it is a grab what you can situation. As my lawyer is still reading while smiling and giggling, I hope. You all are running, jumping, and scattering, shoving, bickering for five thousand in cash in ones for a chance that you eight people who gave two shits about me look like some crazy monkey's. Hope you all enjoy, I am. Thank you for nothing. To my lawyer thank you for your years of loyalty and service. In the envelope there is a check for this last service as well as a little more to thank you for your services. Bless you for many years to come!

I do not think this will go over so well, but it pleases me so I will definitely submit this for my will. Maybe one day people like that will change their ways, but only if someone let's them know how dumb they are.