Project 2025 Game

The chandelier shone down, forming shadows under the eyes of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Emmanuel Macron, Kier Starmer, Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping. Missing behind the leaders were the usual bodyguards, hangers-on and what have you. A can of Diet Coke sat facing the leader of the free world, Putin had his own cup with lid, while the remaining leaders, including Jinping, had Waterford crystal pint mugs containing imported British Beer.

“What could be the harm?” the POTUS had said in his invitation to his private residence in Palm Beach. “Surely you gentlemen aren't afraid of a game?” Oh how he itched to thrash them. He was the best. He could beat them at anything and it was about time they knew it for themselves.

The lights danced around the centrepiece of the table, a Monopoly board crafted in gold. Rubies and sapphires topped the chimneys of the solid gold buildings while the dice sported full cut diamonds for pips. The Scottie dog and other player pieces were all stamped 18 carat gold.

Emmanuel Macron scanned the players. “How is it,” he asked, “that the United States has two players while we have only one to represent our country?”

The U.S. President nodded to allow Mr. Musk to speak: “Well, that is not strictly true as you have been chosen to represent the E.U. not just France, and you may team up with whoever you will so that you double your chance of finishing first.”

Seizing the opportunity, the British Prime Minister responded “Then I choose to partner with Macron, if he is agreeable.” The leaders of the communist world, staring purposefully ahead, gave no sign of acknowledging the gambit. And so the game began, each reaching into a purple velvet bag to retrieve their player piece. Having previously agreed that whoever drew the battleship would also be the banker, Xi Jinping assumed the role.

Not suppressing a smile, Trump threw the highest number and, placing his golden top hat on “Go” threw double sixes to land on and purchase The Electric Company. Throwing again, as he was entitled, found him at the Community Chest and advancement to “Go” with a collection of $200. Following from his left, Doge chief Musk threw five to purchase the Reading Railroad. Then followed Macron who threw a double six as per Trump and landed on the Electric Company; rent to Trump was four times the value of the dice. Macron paid up. He threw again, double fives, landing him on Chance and a trip to jail without passing “Go”. Trump shook his head and smirked.

Then it was Putin’s turn and then Jinping, who both advanced and acquired properties while paying rent to Trump and Musk. Starmer came next, suffering a similar fate to Macron and landing in Jail. It was back to Trump with his player piece sitting at “Go”. Throwing double fours allowed him to purchase Vermont Avenue, and throwing again, to acquire the Pennsylvania Railroad. Musk threw six to arrive and purchase St. Charles Place. Macron was unable ever to throw doubles to get out of jail, the same fate befalling Starmer. In less than an hour Macron and Starmer were bankrupt and had to drop out of the game. Trump announced that as they were losers and no longer playing, they could leave the room. At least, he added, they were not playing for real money or they wouldn’t have the clothes on their back. The game continued. Musk finished first. Trump declared the win for the duo.

The President of the United States, grinning widely, and unable to shut up about having the highest score ever in Monopoly, stood and was about to pack up the board when he noticed that Putin and Jinping were now wearing their military uniforms. When did that happen? Glancing back at the table he could see a map of the world. He had not arranged this. What the devil? He looked at Musk who shrugged “Seems to be they want to play Risk now.”

“Come Donald.” Vladimir Putin murmured with a smile unpacking the game box. “You should give us an opportunity to save face with another friendly game. At least we’ve sent the West packing…”

POTUS was again lucky, rolling highest and getting to play his pieces first. DJT chose a red army of soldiers, horsemen and artillery, and hastily populated North America as his first instinct. He had never played before and was unsettled by the speed with which the others placed their pieces. His ego would not allow him to ask Musk directly but obliquely checked for signs of approval as he tentatively moved towards continents and territories on the board, not letting go of the pieces until Musk seemed relaxed and settled.

Trump would have been thrashed if it had not been for Musk unwaveringly backing him up and defeating adversaries. Vladimir and Xi again failed to partner and soon the board was awash in red troops. Other than a few short-lived skirmishes here and there, America had again won the Cold War. Even he at this late stage, did not want to risk the disfavour of Putin, so said nothing as the Russian and Chinese leaders silently pulled back their chairs and withdrew from the room.

He relaxed smiling broadly. “Elon, my man, you’ve proved yourself again. What a great team we make. Do I know how to pick ‘em or what? Going to get someone to call the Guinness records people as these are probably the greatest games ever played. Shame it wasn’t for real, hmm.. Wouldn’t that be something? Total dominance. What’s that stuff you’re taking? No need for that… You should be on top of the world.”

“Oh I am Donald, I am. But when better to celebrate? Tell you what? How about we have a game? I think this is much more fun…” The unofficial U.S. president removed the end from a large cardboard roll that had been propped against the table, and withdrew a length of black velvet fabric. Pressing a button on the rear of the material caused a map of the world to spring to light. There were no labels, just the obvious outlines of continents twinkling away against the deep velvety black background.

Musk unscrewed the end of a second tube to remove some metal mesh. He deftly clicked it into the velvet fabric corners to form a dome. A small light flickered and began to make its way across the grid. It was joined by another and another. Musk picked up the velvet cloth which, as it fell from his fingers, transformed into a globe. The small white dots continued appearing on the grid encircling the globe. Trump was transfixed. “That’s really beautiful, Elon. Really incredible and impressive. So how do we play this game?”

“Well it's not really fair to call it a game, Donnie, as there really is only one outcome. You see those dots? They’re my satellites. There’s seven thousand of them up there and another 35,000 ready to go. 42,000 satellites! And you know what? They’re all armed. They can pinpoint a licence plate down on the ground and evaporate an area the size of a city block before you can say “Minuteman” Oh and simultaneously before you’ve even started the process to press that red button.”

Trump sat. Musk allowed that to sink in and continued. “You see we, that is the fellows that were just here, decided that your strategy to take the world back to a division of superpowers, was not in the best interests of the oligarchs who rely on fleecing our neighbours, or international trade, to keep on making money. If it had gone the other way and we all benefited then it might have been different, but then when I pointed out to them that I could blow up the world or annihilate them individually they decided they’d rather just go back to how things were before you came along. We surrounded you with oligarchs to keep an eye on you and what you were up to. And I'm kind of king of the oligarchs.” Musk smiled.

Trump, reddening and his heart beginning to race, stared at the beautiful world with the little dots blinking their way slowly around it. “How do I know you’re not lying to me; trying to get me out of the way so you can take kickbacks?” Trump stood and poked Musk in the chest.

Musk laughed and took the tip of the index finger to a point on the globe. “This here is Florida, more precisely Palm Beach and drilling down, Ocean Boulevard. That, directly above it, is a satellite, being followed by another and another, like a beautifully orchestrated meteor shower. It’s not cloudy tonight. If you go outside and look up you might be able to see them. If you need to be convinced I’d be more than glad to obliterate this place… Oh you won’t see the guards as they have been sent home, and the phones are down, including cell service. There isn’t one person on this property who will help you. In fact if you try to leave you will be restrained. Not injured unless you choose to be stupid, but restrained nonetheless for the next 24 hours. But its not all bad. As we speak, peace is being announced, and you are being hailed as the great peacemaker."

Musk doffed his baseball cap. “By the way, in future you won’t open that mouth of yours unless it’s to say something I told you to say. Otherwise this house and everything else that you own goes kaboomy. Got that?”

Trump stared in silence as Musk whistled his way out of the room operating an imaginary chainsaw. Alone in silence for once allowed him to reflect. He was a great diplomat… probably the best peacemaker that ever lived. What a wonderful world he'd created.