Do It Yourself Carjack

“Houston, we have a problem.” My Sargent said, catching me on a break.

   “What does that mean?” I asked, biting into the most delicious egg salad sandwich.

   “333.1 in progress. We’re short, you’re up.”

   “Can’t we just zap it?”

   “It’s got a driver. Come on Misa. I have to send a live officer.”

   I binned my sandwich and took a black Lexus with manual override. I ordered the Lexus to sync up with the drones already pursuing the car thief. I had never had to use manual override in a pursuit, and I hoped I never would. I looked down to find egg salad goo on the front of my uniform. I wiped and clean it with my fingers and tongue while I watched the monitors waiting for the Lexus to cover the distance to the suspect.

   I spoke for the car log. “Officer Misa, Ten thirty-nine, April 7^th, 2032. In pursuit of a stolen vehicle. Drones are in surveillance, D4732, D4748, and D4751. Vehicle is an import, data loading… vehicle is a 2031 self-driving electric Apollo Arrow. Access ownership please. I’m at Hislop and Main, closing in three minutes. Confirming vehicle did not respond to recall command three times prior to pursuit. Confirming no response to kill switch signalling. Can I get some bots to redirect this thing?”

   “This is Downtown North. Negative on bots, do not attempt to redirect, current policy is pursuit only.”

   “Then what am I doing here? Why don’t you send a crash test dummy?”

   “A reminder all recordings are subject to review for adherence to the Employee Code of Conduct.”

   “Bite me.”

   The Lexus caught up to the suspect. The Apollo had a golden orange color. It was a low sports model that stuck out in this country. I could only make out the outline of the driver.

   Other drivers were out of their cars complaining as their self-driving vehicles automatically pulled them over and made them idle as I made my pursuit.

   “Thanks! I’m going to be late now.” A man shouted from the curb. Mostly, all I could hear was booing. They tried to swarm my car. I had to slow, until they got so close the proximity alarm sent my siren into an oscillating pitch and they backed off.

   I neared the golden car again and shut down the siren and hit the speaker. “Please pull over. Pull over now. You are in violation of the 2027 Traffic Act. Manual driving is not permitted in high density areas. You are under suspicion of having altered a self driving vehicle. You may be fined, and or incarcerated and your vehicle impounded, possibly for refurbishment and resale at auction.”

   Then I brought the siren back on, which irritated the other drivers again. But it wasn’t to bother them, it was for any passing pedestrians at risk. Self driving cars didn’t go on sidewalks, they didn’t cut across people’s lawns, but carjacked and overridden manual ones might.

   The Apollo sped away.

   “Pursue, two lengths.”

    The next strategy was to use the drones. Each had a magnetic disrupter, but you had to land it on the vehicle to get it to work. I looked around but I could only see one drone now.

   “Downtown North, I’ve lost two of my drones.”

   “Redeployed. Work with the one you have.”

   I tapped to increase my speed. I started trying to get D4751 to land on the Apollo. The drone got within a foot but the Apollo sped up again. The drone caught its wind and tumbled back to me. My Lexus did a side spin to avoid hitting it then stopped to reorientate. I felt like a milkshake.

   The drone was lying on the road. I must have clipped it. They’re expensive.

   The Lexus started up again and righted its direction. The Apollo was well ahead.

   We were getting nearer to the industrial district. The Apollo went onto a sidewalk and through an abandoned park to evade. I didn’t have any drones to follow it now.

   “Downtown North, have we tracking on this import?”

   “Negative. Not compatible with North American Standard.”

   “Then how did it get in the country?”

   “Officer, do you have visual?”

    “I do.”

   “Then that’s the only tracking you have. We recommend pursue and maintain visual.”

   Now I had to switch to manual to pursue. I don’t like manual. I hated manual training. I steered a turn and drove up onto the sidewalk, and onto the park grassland. It was very bumpy. The park had not been maintained for years. The grass was overgrown, littered, and filled with potholes.          

   We came out the other side by the factories and the docks.

   “Downtown North, the suspect may be intending to drive the car off the docks. It’s not a car you steal for easy resale, it’s too much trouble for a joyride, so I’m thinking it was used for another crime. I’m worried the driver might go down with it.”

   “Understood. Continue with pursuit. We’ll contact harbor rescue to assist. See if they have any volunteers on standby.”

   The Apollo got to the end of the dock and hit a park bench into the air, and the guard rail beyond it. The railing bent, screamed, and its bolts tore out of the concrete. The whole mess went over the edge with the car.

   I halted the Lexus, and got out. I looked down at the sinking debris, plugged my nose, took a breath, and jumped in feet first. As deep as the jump took me, I was almost surfacing just as fast. I grabbed the wreckage to pulled myself further under. My duty gloves protecting me from sharp edges.

   I got to the door of the Apollo. The front windshield was smashed in and the car was filled already with water. Thankfully, the door came open. I undid the suspect’s seatbelt, slipped an arm under his left, and then I found myself looking into the face of a crash test dummy. I pushed it away and swam up for air. No driver, it was a remote-control theft. If we knew there was no driver, we could have zapped it with an electrical charge to short it, but we couldn’t take the risk of injuring a living driver.

   The next part’s embarrassing. I swam back up to the dock’s edge but it was too high for me to pull myself up. I didn’t have any strength left. So, I held onto edge, and bobbed my head up to see if anyone was coming. Two teenage boys suffering through their mandatory volunteer duty helped me up.

   When I got on the dock there was a baby leopard on top of me. It was dripping wet and clinging to my tactical vest. I didn’t know it was there. It must have come from the Apollo. I was surprised I hadn’t squished it against to the dock. It purred when I petted it.

   Her name was Lady Day. She was an Ashera cat, and very valuable. We gave her water, and pieces of mild pepperettes. We said good-bye when her owner picked her up at the station.

   “It’s my ex. I know it was my ex.” The owner said petting Lady Day. “He’s trying to get to me. I’m sure he hired someone to do this.”

   “Would you be willing to make a statement?”

   “And have him arrested? And ruined? And unable to pay my alimony? Oh, I don’t think so, dear.”

   I was sad to see Lady Day go, but I was happy to see her owner’s back.

   Three days later I was biting into a tuna sandwich. My Sargent came in. “Misa, when the going gets tough…”

   “Is that a 333.1 in progress?”

   “It is.”

   “Is it a Dodge?”

   “Is it indeed.”

   “Jones is up, I just saw him at his locker.” I don’t usually like tuna, but the mayo had these little chopped pieces of red pepper. It was delicious.