French pastries, gymnastics, a cat, and cigarettes

Opening the friend group chat, he sees a pinned video. He plays it. 

The video shows him, and his friends – with whom he was about to celebrate New Year – all drunk making New Year’s resolutions. He starts cringing and remembers the pledge that they made last year. Fuck! He slams the table. 

In the video, he says “So I will get a beautiful black cat, then, I will learn to do a headstand, I will learn how to cook croissants, and I will get rid of shitty people in my life” 

“But…” The drunk voice of the cameraman protested by saying “how will you prove to us that you have lived up to your New Year's resolutions?” 

“Well, very simple, you will come over to see my cat” he stutters “then you will feast on my croissants, while I do a headstand” Can he erase the video and the memory forever? 

The video continues “How will you live up to the last one, eh?” The cameraman asks. 

“Well, we probably won't be hanging out by the time of the next year’s celebrations, so that's how I will work that out” Burst of laughter in the background. If only I were so bold. 

“I am so fucked! You goddamn idiot. What the fuck do I do now?” 

His friend group dated from high school, and most of them had sobriety issues. Through mutual efforts, like the mentioned resolutions, they tried to get rid of their bad habits. 

He looks at the clock, 4:37 pm. “Shit…” 

He takes his laptop, opens Google, and starts typing. rental of cats

Some results pop up, but Google keeps INSISTING that he meant rental of cars? 

“No, I fucking did not. I am crazy, so I cannot rent what normal people rent. I need a fucking cat that someone will lend me for a few hours” As soon as he said that, he started laughing.

He searches again, adopt a cat for a few hours. 

One result, in particular, has the words adopt and cat, but it leads to Reddit. “Oh fuck, not Reddit” He was scared of Reddit. It was like this community of a bunch of bored people who would unite to talk about the most bizarre of shit. 

There was a subreddit of students who were renting their cats per hour. What the fuck? 

If you have a cat, why would you rent it? Aren't you afraid someone will do something to it? So many distressing thoughts went through his head. “Great, now I am fucking worried about a bunch of cats that are being rented out, and I do not even own one!” 

He postponed with the overthinking and devotedly scrolled. I need one grown black cat, please.

He comes across a black Maine coon. He calls the number. 

The call is declined. Of course, the call is declined, because the person, like everyone else, has a life, and probably did not think of offering their cat rental services for New Year’s eve! 

He calls again. As it rings, he prays to God, in who he did not believe, to make the other person pick the fuck up! 

A shaky voice responds with a “Yes?” 

“Oh, hi” He dances and kicks the air. 

“Is this Zoe?” 

“Yes” 

“I was wondering if you still offer your cat rental services, hehe” He crosses his fingers in hope.  

Please do not hang up. He had his eyes closed as he anticipated the answer. 

“Uhm yes. Yes, I am renting the cat out. For how long do you want it?” 

He again starts dancing and kicking. 

“For the entire evening and possibly nightnight” 

“All right, that would be 1800 dollars” 

He stops dancing and kicking.

“What?!” 

“If you want the cat, for a… I assume failed New Year’s resolution, and as you are calling at the very last moment, all of that is extra money. Asides, you are not renting an ordinary cat. A lot of resources, time, and work were invested into this cat. Therefore, eighteen hundred is the price”

The only position he was in, was not to negotiate but to get completely ripped the fuck off. He now, instead of air, kicks the table, and as he was barefoot, he lets out a half-repressed scream.

“Hello?” 

He swallows the pain and responds with teared-up eyes.

“I will give you the money” 

“You will pay me half now, and text me the address. I will come over to check if your apartment is cat friendly, and then you will pay the rest”

“What if instead of a living cat, you will bring me a black stuffed one?” He wanted to bite the wall out of pure frustration.

“Do you want the cat or not?” 

“I do“ He says with pain, feeling his foot pulsate. 

After initializing the payment, he gets a text message that she will be there in thirty minutes. 

The phone rings again. Zoe. 

Great, now she will be laughing at me informing me that this is a scam, and she is lifting her cat up in the air, kissing it, and buying it expensive treats. 

“Yes, Zoe!” 

“Can I ask why are you renting the cat?” 

He sighs a sigh of relief. 

“Why would that be important?”

“If you are renting the cat as a New Year's resolution, you will need the equipment to showcase that you do have a cat” 

Shit, that makes sense, but he was embarrassed to admit that as truth. 

“What would a temporary apartment look like for someone who owns a cat for around a year?” 

“I thought so. That will be extra 300 dollars. See you in 20 minutes” 

“Wait, what!” 

She already hung up. 

Over 2000 dollars for a cat?! 

Calming down, he starts looking up these tutorials on how to make croissants, while the pack of ice lay on his foot. 

He guessed that one would need flour, salt, sugar, and butter. Was it then possible to make reasonable croissants in under two hours? 

The video that seemed legit was the NY Times one. And it was, but the only problem was that one would need over twenty-four hours to make it. The other videos did not differ much. 

There was so much rolling and waiting. He had the urge to pull his hair out. What if he tried to improvise? 

Limping around, he managed to put all the ingredients on the table. He stared them down until the doorbell rang.

He opens the door to a girl who carried two big bags. 

“Zoe?” He puts his hand out for a handshake. 

She had a cautious look. She looked at him from top to bottom and inspected the part of the apartment that was visible behind him. 

What the fuck I am doing with my life? Renting a cat from a girl who was making sure that I am not a murderer who was about to kill her and her cat. 

With her eyes, she points to her hands, which were occupied with holding the bags, and thus, she could not offer the handshake. 

“Oh, shit, I am sorry. But, you are Zoe right?”

“Yes, and are you Marlon?” 

“Yes, please do come in” 

She puts the two bags on the floor of the apartment. She takes a look around and then looks back at Marlon. 

She unzips the big yellow box which had tiny holes. She kneels on the floor, and her cautious and serious expression changes to a loving and warm one. 

She starts talking in a foreign language and slowly puts her arms out. In a few seconds, a shy, but beautiful big black cat crawls out into Zoe’s arms. She lifts the cat up. 

“Marlon this is Tawa” Tawa had its front paws safely grabbing onto Zoe's left shoulder, and its back paws on Zoe’s arm. 

Even though he currently hated himself, that did bring a smile to his face. Now he felt bad for having to separate them, even though he paid for it. 

“Well, come, and give it a pet” 

He goes for the magical spot, the chin. 

“Yeah, you do like that, I know you do” As he puts the cat in a petting trance, looking at Zoe, who was also smiling at that, he realizes that she looks like her cat. Long black hair, and green eyes. 

She then lowers the cat down to the floor, and Tawa goes on to explore. 

“He will explore for a bit, and I will set up the apartment” 

“Oh, okay. When do I pay you?” 

“When I am done setting up the apartment” 

“Alright” 

He stretches out his ankle, in order not to limp in front of her. In pain, he walks to the kitchen to try not to burn it while trying to make croissants. 

As he stares at the ingredients, he feels Zoe’s gaze on him. It was a studio apartment, therefore it was absent of walls that offered privacy. 

“What is that you are doing?” Zoe asks. 

“What do you mean?” 

She looks at him, being in the middle of setting up a tree/scratch post, while Tawa is nowhere to be found. 

“What are those ingredients for?” 

“Well, I am making croissants. I would be making them faster if you were better at doing your job” He replies pissed off, and she laughs.

“Is learning to make croissants another one of your failed New Year’s resolutions?” She giggles. 

Everything about him was a failed New Year's resolution. 

“How about you hurry up, and leave?” 

“Sure thing” She says indifferently. 

But what left an impression on him was the way she said croissant. She said it the right, THE FRENCH WAY. 

“Wait, are you French?”

“Nou” 

Without being able to control his tongue he says “Do you know how to make croissants then?” 

“Do you think that French people walk around, carrying croissant recipes in their pockets?” 

Irritated by her quick replies, he says with a fake smile

“Well maybe you do” 

“Well, I do not!” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Marlon” 

“Why did you say my name like you wanted to throw up?” 

“Were you named after Marlon Brando?” 

He rolls his eyes. 

“No, just as not every French person knows how to bake croissants, so is not every Marlon named after Brando” 

“Fair point” 

Disappointed, he puts his focus back on the culinary undertaking. 

He tried to make the dough and butter into one, but it was a tricky thing to do, as the butter sneakingly kept getting out of the dough. It was way too hot in this fucking apartment. 

“You have to keep the butter within the dough” 

Growlingly he replies “I know” 

After half an hour, all he had on his table was dough that had melting butter leaking out it, a bunch of mess, and one of his favorite shirts fucked up. He starts beating up the dough with the rolling pin. 

“Fuck you!” 

In that one-sided combat, he caught a distressed face of Zoe.

“Shit, I am sorry, it is just…Never mind” 

“No worries. I am done”

Embarrassed, he nods. 

He was sick of doing this every year for friends who would not change. 

From his living room table, he takes the cigarette pack, and before taking a cigarette, he offers one to Zoe. 

She gives him a weirded-out look.

“Well, don't you French show an emphasized affinity towards tobacco?” 

Amused by that remark, she takes a cigarette from the pack. He lights it up for her, and in the style of an experienced smoker, she inhales and lets out a smoke. 

He sits down on the armchair and starts peeling off the crusty dough of his fingers. Zoe was on the opposite chair. The ashtray was already on the table. 

“Before you go, tell me, why are you renting out a cat, that you love so much, to strangers? Aren't you afraid something terrible will happen to it?” 

Letting out smoke, she says “I will keep it short. My friend and I got Tawa together. As an outcome of a few events, my friend got a certificate for Tawa as an emotional support animal. That continued for a while. Then my friend moved continents, and now it's just the two of us” 

“Then, how in the fuck’s sake did you end up on Reddit?” She laughs at that. 

“I needed some extra money”

“Aha, that is why you ripped me off” 

“If I didn’t, my landlord would have kicked me out” 

“I see. So will you continue doing this? 

“Thankfully, you are only the second and the last customer. I hate every second of this. I love Tawa more than I love myself, but I would rather see myself in the streets than something happen to him” 

“I see. Well, we all have something to worry about. Like these fucking resolutions” He mildly kicks the table. 

She finds his frustration funny.

“Listen, there is a website. You can get someone to make those croissants for you” 

“Show me, please”

The website was called mybaker.com

“This is mostly people who have nothing to do, or who are still working during the holiday season”

“I see” 

He orders twenty croissants from this Achraf guy. 

“Are you done now?” 

“I have to do a headstand” 

“I can teach you that”

“Really?” 

“I did gymnastics in high school, it's really easy” 

She first demonstrates it. 

“Not everything is about strength, but rather about balance as well” 

They throw a bunch of pillows on the floor, so he does not break any of his bones if he falls down. 

Each jump toward the air seemed like it would lead him toward breaking his spine. But Zoe knew what she was doing, and she would catch his legs each time he would start losing his balance. 

Through laughter, sweating, and filling up the ashtray, Marlon finds himself doing the headstand with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth. 

“Bravo!” Zoe claps.

The doorbell. “That must be the croissant guy” 

Taking the box from him, Marlon says “Thank you, sir, happy New Year” 

Achraf looks at him exhausted “Do you know how many times I heard that this evening? Here is a card” 

The card said: I am Muslim, and I respect other religion’s holidays, but I do not celebrate any of the following holidays:

•  Easter
•  Halloween 
• Christmas
• New Year 
• and so much more

The other face of the card simply said In Allah’s book we do not celebrate Jesus, we celebrate Allah. 

“He is creative, you have to give him that” 

“He is” Zoe affirms. 

“Have a croissant” Zoe takes one. 

“I have to learn how to make these. It must be so satisfying to pull these out of the oven” 

“I have to learn as well. Whenever I eat someone else’s croissants, I feel like a traitor to my nation” 

“As a true French should” 

“When are your friends coming over?” Zoe asks. 

“At ten thirty” 

“What are you doing tonight,” Marlon asks after they both swallowed a croissant. 

“Nothing. Why?”

“Why don’t you hang out with me?” 

“What?”

“Be my date” 

Still not taking him seriously, she says “You have just met me” 

“The New Year’s resolution that I am too scared to live up to is being more forward. We are already having fun, why not have more of it?”  

“What will I wear?” 

“Wear that! You will be better dressed than all of us” 

She had a white turtleneck, and everything else was black, including her boots, coat, beret, and scarf. 

“What will YOU be wearing” Zoe playfully asks. 

“Why don't you style me?” 

After Zoe digs through his half-used wardrobe, and unpacked luggage, he ends up wearing a black turtleneck, black pants, black shoes, and a thin black scarf.

“You seem to like the color black, turtlenecks, and scarves” 

She laughs.

“I seem to have a style”  

It was around 11 pm. They were unsurprisingly late. 

The doorbell rings. 

“Shit” 

“Do not worry, you have practiced for this” 

They come in already half drunk. 

“Well, hello there Brando” 

“Hi people” 

“Meet Zoe, and Tawa” 

“Oh, you got two black beautiful cats” They wink at each other. 

“Slow down. I see you have been already drinking”

Stuttering, they come to Zoe who is holding Tawa “If he is keeping you prisoner, wink two times” 

Tawa hisses at them. They act as if they are scared. 

According to their agreement, he does a headstand. No one seems to be paying attention. They eat the croissants without even asking.

After some time has passed, Zoe whispers to him

“If you live up to the scary resolution that you have told me about, you will not have to pay the rest” Zoe proposes

“By releasing me of the financial burden, you instead want to help me put some balls on?”

“If you see it like that, then yes”

That was the trigger that made him get up.

“People!” His knees immediately start to shake. 

He gets their attention “You have a minute to empty this apartment!” 

Still staring at him, they do not realize what is going on. 

“Get out now!” The beating of his heart is shifted into fifth gear. 

Zoe takes a better hold of Tawa in case it gets violent. 

One of them comes over to him.

“What is going on? You okay?”

“I am sick and tired of being the only one who cares. Get out! I am unfriending all of you drunken fucks! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Zoe keeps on petting Tawa. 

They start leaving one by one, and he starts shoving them out. Marlon had completed his most important resolution before midnight. 

“Good job, Marlon”

Having acquired a fresh pair of balls of steel, he asks “Wanna watch the fireworks from the couch?”

“Of course, do you have soundproof headphones?” 

With headphones accompanying Tawa’s head, light-up cigarettes, and croissants, two newly found friends watched fireworks explode in the sky.