The Cold Shoulder

“That’s the last one,” Trevor placed the box on the countertop. “I guess I had more than I thought.”

“No worries,” Leslie smiled. She pointed to his phone, “Let me set you up.” He handed it over and Leslie began downloading an app. “We can start unpacking while it downloads, then I’ll get you on the smart home network.”

“Thanks,” he said, opening a box filled with clothes. “Where do you want me to put my stuff?”

Leslie pointed down the hallway, “The guest bedroom has a nice closet.” He frowned. “Don’t get upset. You’re not going to be living in there, it’s just for your clothes.” She walked down the hall, motioning for him to follow her. “My closet is already full.” She opened the door and said, “It’s all yours.”

“Thanks.” Trevor dropped the box on the bed and headed to the living room for the others, “I’ll get everything put away and then we can go grocery shopping.”

Leslie went back to the kitchen and checked Trevor’s phone. The app had finished downloading. She keyed in her smart home login and set it up for him. “You’re all set. When you’re done I can show you how it works.”

“All done,” Trevor called to her.

“Wow,” she laughed. He sat down on the sofa. “Only a guy could move into a new place and completely unpack everything he owns in five minutes.” She sat beside him and opened the app, “OK, the dashboard is right here. You can control the lights, TV’s, thermostat, door locks, window blinds, shower, and the fridge.”

“The refrigerator?” He stared at her, “You have a Wi-Fi fridge?”

“Yea, it has a TV too.” She touched the TV icon. The list read living room, bedroom, and fridge.

Trevor shook his head, “Why in the world would anyone need a Wi-Fi refrigerator with a TV? That might be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard of.”

“The TV comes in handy when I’m cooking. I look up a recipe on YouTube, keeps my hands free and I don’t drop my phone in the Alfredo sauce anymore.” She opened the refrigerator icon and showed him the screen, “See that? I can see everything in the fridge. It’s nice when I’m at the store and I can see what I need. There is a scanner inside that reads barcodes, and it can create a grocery list based off items I buy regularly.” Trevor rolled his eyes and Leslie held up her hand, “Now, don’t you start making fun of my baby. He’s lived here a lot longer than you!” She blew a kiss in the direction of the refrigerator.

Trevor held up his hands, “OK, I didn’t know I had competition.” He walked into the kitchen and pointed to the refrigerator, “OK buddy, it’s on now!”

Leslie laughed as she picked up her purse, “You’re an idiot! Let’s go get some groceries to fill up my baby.” She blew another kiss towards the refrigerator, “She you later honey.”

*****

Trevor unloaded the groceries while Leslie took a shower. She showed him how the shower was already warm and running when they opened the door. “All this ‘smart’ stuff seems like a waste to me.” He finished the canned goods and opened the refrigerator. He wasn’t sure where everything went, so he just did the best he could. “It’s just a dumb box that gets cold. If you’re such a genius, then show me where all this stuff goes.” He stood waiting for a few seconds. Nothing happened. “Yea, a Wi-Fi ‘dumb fridge’ is what we have here!” He opened the app, “Maybe I can get something on your dumb ‘fridge-o-vision’.”

The screen on the refrigerator lit up. Trevor jumped back with a little yell. The display was a picture of Trevor from last year with his girlfriend Allison. “What the hell?” Leslie was almost done with her shower! She’ll go crazy if she knows I still have these pics on my phone! He frantically tried to figure out how to get the image to go away. He went to his photo album, found the picture, and hit ‘delete’. The screen went blank. Trevor let out a sigh of relief just as Leslie walked into the living room with a towel on her head.

“You OK?” she asked.

“Uh, yea,” Trevor put his phone in his pocket. “Yea, I slipped on some ice. Must have fallen on the floor when I got my water.”

Leslie opened the fridge, “Well, don’t try to blame my baby on your clumsiness.” She leaned into the refrigerator looking for a snack. Trevor saw the TV screen now had a collage of pictures – all with him and Allison. He quickly stood in front of the screen as she closed the door. “What are you doing?”

“Just wanted to get a little closer to my girl,” he smiled weakly and leaned back against the fridge door.

“We have lived together for five hours and the weirdness level is way up there already,” she stared at him. “You want some grapes?”

“Sure,” he replied still leaning on the door.

“You want to to get out of the way so I can get them?” He turned slowly, keeping the TV covered, and opened the door for Leslie. He looked as if he were glued to the refrigerator. “Trevor, can you go sit or something and stop trying to make out with my fridge?”

He laughed nervously, “OK, yea.” He looked down at the screen. It was blank. “Right, I’ll just go sit in the living room,” he said as he backed away, staring at the TV the whole time.

“Turn on the TV in there,” she called from the kitchen. “Maybe we can find something good on Netflix.” Trevor held the remote, but he was terrified. What if I turn on this TV and those pictures are there? Leslie sat beside him holding a bowl of grapes. “Hey, hello!” She snapped her fingers under his nose, “You awake?”

“Oh,” he was staring at the living room TV. “I’m pretty tired after moving. How about we just go to bed early and get a fresh start tomorrow?” He got up and walked to the bedroom as fast as he could without actually breaking into a run.

“OK,” Leslie rolled her eyes. “Like I said, weirdness level increasing super-fast.”

*****

Trevor sat up in bed. What was that? He thought he heard voices. Leslie was asleep beside him, but he knew he heard people talking. He got up and slowly opened the bedroom door. Yes, definitely voices! Trevor moved inch by inch down the hallway toward the living room. There it was again.

“You’re crazy!” He heard laughter and recognized it immediately - Allison! There was a high-pitched squeal followed by more laughing, then a scream. Trevor rushed into the living room, but no one was there. He heard it again and turned toward the sound. It came from the kitchen. He saw the fridge TV playing a video from a camping trip Trevor and Allison went on two summers ago. They were playing and splashing at the edge of the river that ran through the campground. He saw himself on the TV screen kissing Allison.

“Babe, what’s all the noise?” Leslie called from the bedroom.

“Nothing!” He was pawing at the buttons, trying to find a way to turn it off. “I was getting a drink and I accidentally turned on the fridge TV!” he yelled out.

“You need me to turn it off?”

“NO!” That was way louder than it needed to be. He looked desperately at the screen. His hands were shaking. The screen clicked off and there was silence. “Hey, I got it!”

“No, I got it. There’s an app, remember?”

His hands were still shaking, “Oh right. Thanks!” He took a deep breath and got an insulated tumbler from the cabinet. Maybe I do need some water. He went to the fridge dispenser and placed the cup under it. Allison appeared right next to Trevor. He jumped with a start, “Geez! You scared the hell out of me!” He reached for the water.

“Sorry,” Leslie stared at him. “What’s the deal with you?”

“I dunno,” he answered, “guess I’m just tired.” He took a big swallow of water and gagged. It was scalding hot! He spit what he could out onto the floor and clutched at his throat and let out a horrible scream. “It tried to kill me”

“What?”

“That damn fridge!” He pointed as he still held his throat. “That thing hates me. It tried to kill me with boiling water!” He opened the doors and looked inside, “How do you turn this thing off? I am going to rip out its circuits or whatever makes it run!”

“Trevor!” Leslie grabbed his hand. “Stop right now!” She stared at him as he got hold of himself. His breathing began to level off, but his hands were still shaking. “That’s better. Look, you just hit the setting for hot water. It dispenses hot for things like tea or soup.” He looked closer and saw the setting for cold and hot.

“No, I had it on cold.”

“You really are tired,” she stepped back a little. “Are you ready to go back to bed now?” He nodded. “Good.” She walked back to the bedroom.

The refrigerator doors were still open, so Trevor reached to close them. The doors snapped shut on his arms. He slipped on the wet floor, falling forward and hitting his head. He dropped to his knees. There is water all over. That damn fridge shot water out here so I would fall! Trevor steadied himself and was about to get up when the middle drawer above the freezer flew open, hitting him in the face. He fell backwards and hit his head on the tile floor. His vision was getting blurry, but as he looked up he could see the TV screen. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE! LEAVE! The world went black.

*****

“Trevor, are you awake?” He opened his eyes. It was like looking through fog. Leslie was standing over him. He looked to one side and saw a nurse. Trevor tried to talk, but couldn’t get any words out – just mumbling sounds.

“Try to stay relaxed.” the nurse leaned in to check his IV. “Your jaw was broken and you took some nasty bumps to the head.”

“Babe, I was so worried!” Leslie took his hand. “I came back to the kitchen to tell you to hurry up, and you were lying on the floor with blood everywhere.”

“Ugh!” He tried to get out of bed.

“Sir,” the nurse stopped him. “You can’t just get up in your condition.”

Leslie eased him back down on his pillow. “Trevor, it looked like you slipped on the water that you spit out and hit your head.”

“Fssshhhh!” he tried to tell Leslie it was the fridge.

*****

“I can’t believe they had to keep you there for four days,” Leslie helped Trevor to the sofa. She turned on the TV and said, “You just relax. The doctor said it would take four to six weeks. Don’t worry though. I have tons of smoothie recipes, since your jaw is wired shut. Which one do you want?” She held up pictures of three smoothies. He pointed to the red one. “Perfect! I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

She went to the kitchen. He could hear her open the refrigerator. Trevor sat up on the sofa and turned. Leslie was leaned halfway into the left side of the refrigerator whistling as she gathered ingredients. He could see the TV screen on the right door. His name was in all caps – TREVOR – in a red font that looked like dripping blood. Leslie emerged from the fridge and Trevor saw the screen go dark.

“OK, I think I have everything.” She held up a small appliance, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got this amazing new blender today. Now don’t laugh, but it’s a ‘smart blender’!” She giggled as she said it. “It has all kinds of settings and program options, but the real reason I got it is the power. It can crush solid ice cubes in a flash. The man at the store said it could probably pulverize bone, although I’m not sure why you would want to do that.” She sat down next to him on the couch and pulled out her phone. She tapped an icon and the blender roared to life in the kitchen. Trevor’s heart almost came out of his chest. Leslie laughed, “I know it’s silly. Who really needs to blend or pulverize something from an app, right?”

She went to the kitchen and opened a box on the counter. “Oh, by the way your Amazon order came in today.” He looked puzzled. My order? “This is a great mug! How did you get it customized so that the font looks like the letters are frozen?” He held the mug and stared. It was clear glass. On the side was his name – TREVOR. The letters were outlined and looked like they were dripping. He guessed that to Leslie they must look like letters made of ice. She brought the blender cup over, “Ok hold up that new mug!” The liquid filled the mug, filling in his name with red, dripping letters. He looked at the fridge and saw the same image on the TV screen.